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Title: The Unclassed

Author: George Gissing

Release Date: August, 2003  [Etext #4305]
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[This file was first posted on January 3, 2002]

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by George Gissing
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Edited by Charles Aldarondo (aldarondo@yahoo.com)

George Gissing

The Unclassed





CHAPTER I

SCHOOL




There was strange disorder in Miss Rutherford's schoolroom, wont to
be the abode of decorum. True, it was the gathering-time after the
dinner-hour, and Miss Rutherford herself was as yet out of sight;
but things seemed to be going forward of a somewhat more serious
kind than a game of romps among the children. There were screams and
sobbings, hysterical cries for help; some of the little girls were
crowding round an object in one corner of the room, others appeared
to be getting as far away from it as possible, hiding their pale
faces in their hands, or looking at one another with terrified eyes.
At length one more thoughtful than the rest sped away out of the
room, and stood at the bottom of the stairs, calling out her
teacher's name as loud as she could. A moment, and Miss Rutherford
came hastening down, with alarmed aspect, begging to be told what
was the matter. But the summoner had turned and fled at the first
sight of the lady's garments. Miss Rutherford darted into the
schoolroom, and at once there was quietness, save for half-choked
sobs here and there, and a more ominous kind of moaning from the
crowded corner.

"Gracious goodness, children, what is it? Who's that lying on the
floor? Harriet Smales! What _ever_ has happened?"

The cluster of children had fallen aside, exposing a strange
picture. On the ground lay a girl of twelve, her face deadly pale,
save in the places where it was dabbled with fresh blood, which
still streamed from a gash on the right side of her forehead. Her
eyes were half opened; she was just recovering consciousness; a moan
came from her at intervals. She had for support the lap and arms of
a little girl, perhaps two years younger than herself. Heedless of
the flowing blood, this child was pressing her pale cheek against
that of the wounded one, whose name she kept murmuring in pitiful
accents, mixed with endearing epithets. So unconscious was she of
all around, that the falling back of the other children did not
cause her to raise her eyes; neither was she aware of Miss
Rutherford's first exclamations, nor yet of the question which was
next addressed to her by the horrified schoolmistress.

"How did it happen? Some of you run at once for a doctor--Dr.
Williams in Grove Road--Oh, quick!--Ida Starr, how _did_ it
happen?"

Ida did not move, but seemed to tighten her embrace. The other
pupils all looked fearfully hither and thither, but none ventured to
speak.

"Ida!" repeated Miss Rutherford, dropping on her knees by the two,
and beginning to wipe away some of the blood with her handkerchief.
"Speak, child! Has some one gone for the doctor? How was it done?"

The face at length turned upon the questioner was almost as ghastly
and red-stained as that it had been pressed against. But it had
become self-controlled; the dark eyes looked straight forward with
an expression marvellously full of meaning in one so young; the lips
did not tremble as they spoke.

"I did it, Miss Rutherford. I have killed Harriet. I, and nobody
else."

"You? How, child?"

"I killed her with the slate, Miss Rutherford; this slate, look."

She pointed to a slate without a frame which lay on the floor. There
were sums worked on the uppermost side, and the pencil-marks were
half obliterated. For a moment the schoolmistress's amazement held
her motionless, but fresh and louder moans recalled her to the
immediate necessities of the case. She pushed Ida Starr aside, and,
with the help of a servant-girl who had by this time appeared in the
room, raised the sufferer into a chair, and began to apply what
remedies suggested themselves. The surgeon, whom several of the
children had hastened to seek, only lived a few yards away, and his
assistant was speedily present. Harriet Smales had quite recovered
consciousness, and was very soon able to give her own account of the
incident. After listening to her, Miss Rutherford turned to the
schoolchildren, who were now seated in the usual order on benches,
and spoke to them with some degree of calm.

"I am going to take Harriet home. Lucy Wood, you will please to see
that order is preserved in my absence; I shall only be away twenty
minutes, at the most. Ida Starr, you will go up into my
sitting-room, and remain there till I come to you. All take out your
copy-books; I shall examine the lines written whilst I am away."

The servant, who had been despatched for a cab, appeared at the
door. Harriet Smales was led out. Before leaving the house, Miss
Rutherford whispered to the servant an order to occupy herself in
the sitting-room, so as to keep Ida Starr in sight.

Miss Rutherford, strict disciplinarian when her nerves were not
unstrung, was as good as her promise with regard to the copy-books.
She had returned within the twenty minutes, and the first thing she
did was to walk along all the benches, making a comment here, a
correction there, in another place giving a word of praise. Then she
took her place at the raised desk whence she was wont to survey the
little room.

There were present thirteen pupils, the oldest of them turned
fifteen, the youngest scarcely six. They appeared to be the
daughters of respectable people, probably of tradesmen in the
neighbourhood. This school was in Lisson Grove, in the north-west of
London; a spot not to be pictured from its name by those ignorant of
the locality; in point of fact a dingy street, with a mixture of
shops and private houses. On the front door was a plate displaying
Miss Rutherford's name,--nothing more. That lady herself was
middle-aged, grave at all times, kindly, and, be it added, fairly
competent as things go in the world of school. The room was rather
bare, but the good fire necessitated by the winter season was not
wanting, and the plain boarding of the floor showed itself no
stranger to scrubbings. A clock hanging on the wall ticked very
loudly in the perfect stillness as the schoolmistress took her seat.

She appeared to examine a book for a few moments, then raised her
head, looked at the faces before her with a troubled expression, and
began to speak.

"I wish to know who can give me any account of the way in which
Harriet Smales received her hurt. Stop! Hands only, please. And only
those raise their hands who actually saw the blow struck, and
overheard _all_ that led to it. You understand, now? One, two, three
--seven altogether, that is quite enough. Those seven will wait in
the room at four o'clock till the others have all gone. Now I will
give the first class their sums."

The afternoon passed Very slowly to teacher and pupils alike. When
the clock struck four, work was put away with more than the usual
noise and hurry. Miss Rutherford seemed for a time to be on the
point of making some new address to the school before the children
departed, but eventually she decided to keep silence, and the
dismissal was got over as quickly as possible. The seven witnesses
remained, solemnly seated at their desks, all anxious-looking.

"Lucy Wood," Miss Rutherford began, when the door was closed and
quiet, "you are the eldest. Please tell me all you can of this sad
affair."

There was one of the seven faces far more discomposed than the rest,
a sweet and spiritual little countenance; it was tear-stained,
red-eyed; the eager look, the trembling lips spoke some intimate
cause of sympathy. Before the girl addressed had time to begin her
answer, this other, one would have said in spite of herself,
intervened with an almost agonised question.

"Oh, Miss Rutherford, is Harriet really dead?"

"Hush, hush!" said the lady, with a shocked look. "No, my dear, she
is only badly hurt."

"And she really won't die?" pleaded the child, with an instant
brightening of look.

"Certainly not, certainly not. Now be quiet, Maud, and let Lucy
begin."

Lucy, a sensible and matter-of-fact girl, made a straightforward
narration, the facts of which were concurred in by her companions.
Harriet Smales, it seemed, had been exercising upon Ida for some
days her utmost powers of irritation, teasing her, as Lucy put it,
"beyond all bearing." The cause of this was not unknown in the
school, and Miss Rutherford remembered the incident from which the
malice dated. Harriet had copied a sum in class from Ida's slate--
she was always copying from somebody--and the teacher, who had
somehow detected her, asked Ida plainly whether such was not the
case. Ida made no reply, would not speak, which of course was taken
as confirmatory evidence, and the culprit had accordingly received
an imposition. Her spleen, thus aroused, Harriet vented upon the
other girl, who, she maintained, ought to have stoutly denied the
possibility of the alleged deceit, and so have saved her. She gave
poor Ida no rest, and her persecution had culminated this afternoon;
she began to "call Ida's mother names," the result of which was that
the assailed one suddenly snatched up her slate, and, in an
uncontrollable fit of passion, struck her tormentor a blow with it
upon the forehead.

"What did she call Ida's mother?" inquired Miss Rutherford, all at
once changing her look curiously.

"She called her a bad woman."

"Was that all?"

"No, please, Miss Rutherford," put in Maud eagerly. "She said she
got her living in the streets. And it isn't true. Ida's mother's a
lady, and doesn't sell things in the streets!"

The teacher looked down and was silent.

"I don't think I need ask any more questions," she said presently.
"Run away home all of you. What is it, my dear?"

Maud, she was about eleven, and small for her age, had remained
behind, and was looking anxiously up into Miss Rutherford's face.

"May I wait for Ida, please," she asked, "and--and walk home with
her? We go the same way."

"Not to-night, dear; no, not to-night. Ida Starr is in disgrace. She
will not go home just yet. Run away, now, there's a good girl."

Sadly, sadly was the command obeyed, and very slowly did Maud
Enderby walk along the streets homeward, ever turning back to see
whether perchance Ida might not be behind her.

Miss Rutherford ascended to her sitting-room. The culprit was
standing in a corner with her face to the wall.

"Why do you stand so?" asked the teacher gravely, but not very
severely.

"I thought you'd want me to, Miss Rutherford."

"Come here to me, child."

Ida had clearly been crying for a long time, and there was still
blood on her face. She seemed to have made up her mind that the
punishment awaiting her must be dreadful, and she resolved to bear
it humbly. She came up, still holding her hands behind her, and
stood with downcast eyes. The hair which hung down over her
shoulders was dark brown, her eye-brows strongly marked, the eyes
themselves rather deep-set. She wore a pretty plum-coloured dress,
with a dainty little apron in front; her whole appearance bespeaking
a certain taste and love of elegance in the person who had the care
of her.

"You will be glad to hear," said Miss Rutherford, "that Harriet's
hurt is not as serious as we feared at first. But she will have to
stay at home for some days."

There was no motion. or reply.

"Do you know that I am quite afraid of you, Ida? I had no idea that
you were so passionate. Had you no thought what harm you might do
when you struck that terrible blow?"

But Ida could not converse; no word was to be got from her.

"You must go home now," went on the schoolmistress after a pause,
"and not come back till I send for you. Tell your mother just what
you have done, and say that I will write to her about you. You
understand what I say, my child?"

The punishment had come upon her. Nothing worse than this had Ida
imagined; nay, nothing so bad. She drew in her breath, her fingers
wreathed themselves violently together behind her back. She half
raised her face, but could not resolve to meet her teacher's eyes.
On the permission to go being repeated, she left the room in
silence, descended the stairs with the slow steps of an old person,
dressed herself mechanically, and went out into the street. Miss
Rutherford stood for some time in profound and troubled thought,
then sighed as she returned to her usual engagements.

The following day was Saturday, and therefore a half-holiday. After
dinner, Miss Rutherford prepared herself for walking, and left home.
A quarter of an hour brought her to a little out-of-the-way
thoroughfare called Boston Street, close to the west side of
Regent's Park, and here she entered a chemist's shop, over which
stood the name Smales. A middle-aged man of very haggard and feeble
appearance stood behind the counter, and his manner to the lady as
she addressed him was painfully subservient. He spoke very little
above a whisper, and as though suffering from a severe sore throat,
but it was his natural voice.

"She's better, I thank you, madam; much better, I hope and believe;
yes, much better."

He repeated his words nervously, rubbing his hands together
feverishly the while, and making his eye-brows go up and down in a
curious way.

"Might I see her for a few moments?"

"She would be happy, madam, very happy: oh yes, I am sure, very
happy If--if you would have the kindness to come round, yes, round
here, madam, and--and to excuse our poor sitting-room. Thank you,
thank you. Harriet, my dear, Miss Rutherford has had the great, the
very great, goodness to visit you--to visit you personally--yes.
I will leave you, if--if you please--h'm, yes."

He shuffled away in the same distressingly nervous manner, and
closed the door behind him. The schoolmistress found herself in a
dark little parlour, which smelt even more of drugs than the shop
itself. The window looked out into a dirty back-yard, and was almost
concealed with heavy red curtains. As the eyes got accustomed to the
dimness, one observed that the floor was covered with very old
oil-cloth, and that the articles of furniture were few, only the
most indispensable, and all very shabby. Everything seemed to be
dusty and musty. The only approach to an ornament was a framed
diploma hanging over the mantelpiece, certifying that John Alfred
Smales was a duly qualified pharmaceutical chemist. A low fire
burned in the grate, and before it, in a chair which would probably
have claimed the title of easy, sat the girl Harriet Smales, her
head in bandages.

She received Miss Rutherford rather sulkily, and as she moved,
groaned in a way which did not seem the genuine utterance of pain.
After a few sympathetic remarks, the teacher began to touch upon the
real object of her visit.

"I have no intention of blaming you, Harriet; I should not speak of
this at all, if it were not necessary. But I must ask you plainly
what reason you had for speaking of Ida Starr's mother as they say
you did. Why did you say she was a bad woman?"

"It's only what she is," returned Harriet sullenly, and with much
inward venom.

"What do you mean by that? Who has told you anything about her?"

Only after some little questioning the fact was elicited that
Harriet owed her ideas on the subject to a servant girl in the
house, whose name was Sarah.

"What does Sarah say, then?" asked Miss Rutherford.

"She says she isn't respectable, and that she goes about with men,
and she's only a common street-woman," answered the girl, speaking
evidently with a very clear understanding of what these accusations
meant. The schoolmistress looked away with a rather shocked
expression, and thought a little before speaking again.

"Well, that's all I wanted to ask you, Harriet," she said. "I won't
blame you, but I trust you will do as I wish, and never say such
things about any one again, whoever may tell you. It is our duty
never to speak ill of others, you know; least of all when we know
that to do so will be the cause of much pain and trouble. I hope you
will very soon be able to come back again to us. And now I will say
good-bye."

In the shop Miss Rutherford renewed to the chemist her sincere
regret for what had taken place.

"Of course I cannot risk the recurrence of such a thing," she said.
"The child who did it will not return to me, Mr. Smales."

Mr. Smales uttered incoherent excuses, apologies, and thanks, and
shufflingly escorted the lady to his shop-door.

Miss Rutherford went home in trouble. She did not doubt the truth of
what Harriet Smales had told her, for she herself had already
entertained uneasy suspicions, dating indeed from the one interview
she had had with Mrs. Starr, when Ida was first brought to the
school, and deriving confirmation from a chance meeting in the
street only a few days ago. It was only too plain what she must do,
and the necessity grieved her. Ida had not shown any especial
brilliancy at her books, but the child's character was a remarkable
one, and displayed a strength which might eventually operate either
for good or for evil. With careful training, it seemed at present
very probable that the good would predominate. But the task was not
such as the schoolmistress felt able to undertake, bearing in mind
the necessity of an irreproachable character for her school if it
were to be kept together at all. The disagreeable secret had begun
to spread; all the children would relate the events of yesterday in
their own homes; to pass the thing over was impossible. She
sincerely regretted the step she must take, and to which she would
not have felt herself driven by any ill-placed prudery of her own.
On Monday morning it must be stated to the girls that Ida Starr had
left.

In the meantime, it only remained to write to Mrs. Starr, and make
known this determination. Miss Rutherford thought for a little while
of going to see Ida's mother, but felt that this would be both
painful and useless. It was difficult even to write, desirous as she
was of somehow mitigating the harshness of this sentence of
expulsion. After half-an-hour spent in efforts to pen a suitable
note, she gave up the attempt to write as she would have wished, and
announced the necessity she was under in the fewest possible words.





CHAPTER II

MOTHER AND CHILD




Ida Starr, dismissed by the schoolmistress, ran quickly homewards.
She was unusually late, and her mother would be anxious. Still, when
she came within sight of the door, she stopped and stood panting.
How should she tell of her disgrace? It was not fear that made her
shrink from repeating Miss Rutherford's message; nor yet shame,
though she would gladly have hidden herself away somewhere in the
dark from every eye; her overwhelming concern was for the pain she
knew she was going to cause one who had always cherished her with
faultless tenderness,--tenderness which it had become her nature
to repay with a child's unreflecting devotion.

Her home was in Milton Street. On the front-door was a brass-plate
which bore the inscription: "Mrs. Ledward, Dressmaker;" in the
window of the ground-floor was a large card announcing that
"Apartments" were vacant. The only light was one which appeared in
the top storey, and there Ida knew that her mother was waiting for
her, with tea ready on the table as usual. Mrs. Starr was seldom at
home during the child's dinner-hour, and Ida had not seen her at all
to-day. For it was only occasionally that she shared her mother's
bedroom; it was the rule for her to sleep with Mrs. Ledward, the
landlady, who was a widow and without children. The arrangement had
held ever since Ida could remember; when she had become old enough
to ask for an explanation of this, among other singularities in
their mode of life, she was told that her mother slept badly, and
must have the bed to herself.

But the night had come on, and every moment of delay doubtless
increased the anxiety she was causing. Ida went up to the door,
stood on tiptoe to reach the knocker, and gave her usual two
distinct raps. Mrs. Ledward opened the door to her in person; a
large woman, with pressed lips and eyes that squinted very badly;
attired, however, neatly, and looking as good-natured as a woman who
was at once landlady and dressmaker could be expected to look.

"How 's 't you're so late?" she asked, without looking at the child;
her eyes, as far as one could guess, fixed upon the houses opposite,
her hands in the little pocket on each side of her apron. "Your
mother's poorly."

"Oh, then I shall sleep with her to-night?" exclaimed Ida,
forgetting her trouble for the moment in this happy foresight

"Dessay," returned Mrs. Ledward laconically.

Ida left her still standing in the doorway, and ran stairs. The
chamber she went into--after knocking and receiving permission to
enter, according to the rule which had been impressed upon her--
was a tolerably-furnished bedroom, which, with its bright fire,
tasteful little lamp, white coverlets and general air of fresh
orderliness, made a comfortable appearance. The air was scented,
too, with some pleasant odour of a not too pungent kind. But the
table lacked one customary feature; no tea was laid as it was wont
to be at this hour. The child gazed round in surprise. Her mother
was in bed, lying back on raised pillows, and with a restless,
half-pettish look on her face.

"Where have you been?" she asked querulously, her voice husky and
feeble, as if from a severe cold. "Why are you so late?"

Ida did not answer at once, but went straight to the bed and offered
the accustomed kiss. Her mother waved her off.

"No, no; don't kiss me. Can't you see what a sore throat I've got?
You might catch it. And I haven't got you any tea," she went on, her
face growing to a calmer expression as she gazed at the child "Ain't
I a naughty mother? But it serves you half right for being late.
Come and kiss me; I don't think it's catching. No, perhaps you'd
better not."

But Ida started forward at the granted leave, and kissed her warmly.

"There now," went on the hoarse voice complainingly, "I shouldn't
wonder if you catch it, and we shall both be laid up at once. Oh,
Ida, I do feel that poorly, I do! It's the draught under the door;
what else can it be? I do, I do feel that poorly!"

She began to cry miserably. Ida forgot all about the tale she had to
tell; her own eyes overflowed in sympathy. She put her arm under her
mother's neck, and pressed cheek to cheek tenderly.

"Oh, how hot you are, mother! Shall I get you a cup of tea, dear?
Wouldn't it make your throat better?"

"Perhaps it would; I don't know. Don't go away, not just yet. You'll
have to be a mother to me to-night, Ida. I almost feel I could go to
sleep, if you held me like that."

She closed her eyes, but only for a moment, then started up
anxiously.

"What am I thinking about! Of course you want your tea."

"No, no; indeed I don't, mother."

"Nonsense; of course you do. See, the kettle is on the bob, and I
think it's full. Go away; you make me hotter. Let me see you get
your tea, and then perhaps it'll make me feel I could drink a cup.
There, you've put your hair all out of order; let me smooth it.
Don't trouble to lay the cloth; just use the tray; it's in the
cupboard."

Ida obeyed, and set about the preparations. Compare her face with
that which rested sideways upon the pillows, and the resemblance was
as strong as could exist between two people of such different ages:
the same rich-brown hair, the same strongly-pencilled eye-brows; the
deep-set and very dark eyes, the fine lips, the somewhat prominent
jaw-bones, alike in both. The mother was twenty-eight, the daughter
ten, yet the face on the pillow was the more childish at present. In
the mother's eyes was a helpless look, a gaze of unintelligent
misery, such as one could not conceive on Ida's countenance; her
lips, too, were weakly parted, and seemed trembling to a sob, whilst
sorrow only made the child close hers the firmer. In the one case a
pallor not merely of present illness, but that wasting whiteness
which is only seen on faces accustomed to borrow artificial hues; in
the other, a healthy pearl-tint, the gleamings and gradations of a
perfect complexion. The one a child long lost on weary, woful ways,
knowing, yet untaught by, the misery of desolation; the other a
child still standing upon the misty threshold of unknown lands,
looking around for guidance, yet already half feeling that the sole
guide and comforter was within.

It was strange that talk which followed between mother and daughter.
Lotty Starr (that was the name of the elder child, and it became her
much better than any more matronly appellation), would not remain
silent, in spite of the efforts it cost her to speak, and her
conversation ran on the most trivial topics. Except at occasional
moments, she spoke to Ida as to one of her own age, with curious
neglect of the relationship between them; at times she gave herself
up to the luxury of feeling like an infant dependent on another's
care; and cried just for the pleasure of being petted and consoled.
Ida had made up her mind to leave her disclosure till the next
morning; impossible to grieve her mother with such shocking news
when she was so poorly. Yet the little girl with difficulty kept a
cheerful countenance; as often as a moment's silence left her to her
own reflections she was reminded of the heaviness of heart which
made speaking an effort. To bear up under the secret thought of her
crime and its consequences required in Ida Starr a courage different
alike in quality and degree from that of which children are
ordinarily capable. One compensation alone helped her; it was still
early in the evening, and she knew there were before her long hours
to be spent by her mother's side.

"Do you like me to be with you, mother?" she asked, when a timid
question had at length elicited assurance of this joy. "Does it make
you feel better?"

"Yes, yes. But it's my throat, and you can't make that better; I
only wish you could. But you are a comfort to me, for all that; I
don't know what I should do without you. Oh, I sha'n't be able to
speak a word soon, I sha'n't!"

"Don't, don't talk, dear. I'll talk instead, and you listen. Don't
you think, mother dear, I could--could always sleep with you? I
wouldn't disturb you; indeed, indeed I wouldn't! You don't know how
quiet I lie. If I'm wakeful ever I seem to have such a lot to think
about, and I lie so still and quiet, you can't think. I never wake
Mrs. Led ward, indeed. Do let me, mother; just try me!"

Lotty broke out into passionate weeping, wrung her hands, and hid
her face in the pillow. Ida was terrified, and exerted every effort
to console this strange grief. The outburst only endured a minute or
two, however; then a mood of vexed impatience grew out of the
anguish and despair, and Lotty pushed away the child fretfully.

"I've often told you, you can't, you mustn't bother me. There,
there; you don't mean any harm, but you put me out, bothering me,
Ida. Tell me, what do you think about when you lay awake? Don't you
think you'd give anything to get off to sleep again? I know I do; I
can't bear to think; it makes my head ache so."

"Oh, I like it. Sometimes I think over what I've been reading, in
the animal book, and the geography-book; and--and then I begin my
wishing-thoughts. And oh, I've such lots of wishing-thoughts, you
couldn't believe!"

"And what are the wishing-thoughts about?" inquired the mother, in a
matter-of-fact way.

"I often wish I was grown up. I feel tired of being a child; I want
to be a woman. Then I should know so much more, and I should be able
to understand all the things you tell me I can't now. I don't care
for playing at games and going to school."

"You'll be a woman soon enough, Ida," said Lotty, with a quiet
sadness unusual in her. "But go on; what else?"

"And then I often wish I was a boy. It must be so much nicer to be a
boy. They're stronger than girls, and they know more. Don't you wish
I was a boy, mother?"

"Yes, I do, I often do!" exclaimed Lotty. "Boys aren't such a
trouble, and they can go out and shift for themselves."

"Oh, but I won't be a trouble to you," exclaimed Ida. "When I'm old
enough to leave school--"

She interrupted herself, for the moment she had actually forgotten
the misfortune which had come upon her. But her mother did not
observe the falling of her countenance, nor yet the incomplete
sentence.

"Ida, have I been a bad mother to you?" Lotty sobbed out presently.
"If I was to die, would you be sorry?"

"Mother!"

"I've done my best, indeed I've done my best for yon! How many
mothers like me would have brought you up as I've done? How many,
I'd like to know? And some day you'll hate me; oh yes, you will!
Some day you'll wish to forget all about me, and you'll never come
to see where I'm buried, and you'll get rid of everything that could
remind you of me. How I wish I'd never been born!"

Ida had often to comfort her mother in the latter's fits of low
spirits, but had never heard such sad words as these before. The
poor child could say nothing in reply; the terrible thought that she
herself was bringing new woes to be endured almost broke her heart
She clung about her mother's neck and wept passionately.

Lotty shortly after took a draught from a bottle which the child
reached out of a drawer for her, and lay pretty still till
drowsiness came on. Ida undressed and crept to her side. They had a
troubled night, and, when the daylight came again, Lotty was no
better. Ida rose in anguish of spirit, torturing herself to find a
way of telling what must be told. Yet she had another respite; her
mother said that, as it was Saturday, she might as well stay away
from school and be a little nurse. And the dull day wore through;
the confession being still postponed.

But by the last post at night came Miss Rutherford's letter. Ida was
still sitting up, and Lotty had fallen into a doze, when the
landlady brought the letter upstairs. The child took it in, answered
an inquiry about her mother in a whisper, and returned to the
bedside. She knew the handwriting on the envelope. The dreaded
moment had come.

She must have stood more than a quarter of an hour, motionless,
gazing on her mother's face, conscious of nothing but an agonised
expectation of seeing the sleeper's eyes open. They did open at
length, and quickly saw the letter.

"It's from Miss Rutherford, mother," said Ida, her own voice
sounding very strange to herself.

"Oh, is it?" said Lotty, in the hoarse whisper which was all she
could command "I suppose she wants to know why you didn't go. Read
it to me."

Ida read, and, in reading, suffered as she never did again
throughout her life.

"DEAR MRS. STARR,--I am very sorry to have to say that Ida must not
return to school. I had better leave the explanation to herself; she
is truthful, and will tell you what has compelled me to take this
step. I grieve to lose her, but have really no choice.--I am, yours
truly,

H. RUTHERFORD."

No tears rose; her voice was as firm as though she had been reading
in class; but she was pale and cold as death.

Lotty rose in bed and stared wildly.

"What have you done, child?--what ever have you done? Is--is it
anything--about _me_"

"I hit Harriet Smales with a slate, and covered her all over with
blood, and I thought I'd killed her."

She could not meet her mother's eyes; stood with head hung down, and
her hands clasped behind her.

"What made you do it?" asked Lotty in amazement.

"I couldn't help it, mother; she--she said you were a bad woman."

Ida had raised her eyes with a look of love and proud confidence.
Lotty shrank before her, clutched convulsively at the bed-clothes,
then half raised herself and dashed her head with fearful violence
against the wall by which the bed stood. She fell back, half
stunned, and lay on the pillows, whilst the child, with outstretched
hands, gazed horror-struck. But in a moment Ida had her arms around
the distraught woman, pressing the dazed head against her breast.
Lotty began to utter incoherent self-reproaches, unintelligible to
her little comforter; her voice had become the merest whisper; she
seemed to have quite exhausted herself. Just now there came a knock
at the door, and Ida was relieved to see Mrs. Ledward, whose help
she begged. In a few minutes Lotty had come to herself again, and
whispered that she wished to speak to the landlady alone. The latter
persuaded Ida to go downstairs for a while, and the child, whose
tears had begun to flow, left the room, sobbing in anguish.

"Ain't you better then?" asked the woman, with an apparent effort to
speak in a sympathetic tone which did not come easily to her.

"I'm very bad," whispered the other, drawing her breath as if in
pain.

"Ay, you've got a bad cold, that's what it is. I'll make you some
gruel presently, and put some rum in it. You don't take care of
yourself: I told you how it 'ud be when you came in with those
wringin' things on, on Thursday night."

"They've found out about me at the school," gasped Lotty, with a
despairing look, "and Ida's got sent away."

"She has? Well, never mind, you can find another, I suppose. I can't
see myself what she wants with so much schoolin', but I suppose you
know best about your own affairs."

"Oh, I feel that bad! If I get over this, I'll give it up--God help
me, I will! I'll get my living honest, if there's any way. I never
felt so bad as I do now."

"Pooh!" exclaimed the woman. "Wait a bit till you get rid of your
sore throat, and you'll think different. Poorly people gets all
sorts o' fancies. Keep a bit quiet now, and don't put yourself out
so."

"What are we to do? I've only got a few shillings--"

"Well, you'll have money again some time, I suppose. You don't
suppose I'll turn you out in the streets? Write to Fred on Monday,
and he'll send you something."

They talked till Lotty exhausted herself again, then Ida was allowed
to re-enter the room. Mrs. Ledward kept coming and going till her
own bed-time, giving what help and comfort she could in her hard,
half-indifferent way. Another night passed, and in the morning Lotty
seemed a little better. Her throat was not so painful, but she
breathed with difficulty, and had a cough. Ida sat holding her
mother's hand. It was a sunny morning, and the bells of neighbouring
churches began to ring out clearly on the frosty air.

"Ida," said the sick woman, raising herself suddenly, "get me some
note-paper and an envelope out of the box; and go and borrow pen and
ink, there's a good child."

The materials were procured, and, with a great effort, Lotty managed
to arrange herself so as to be able to write. She covered four pages
with a sad scrawl, closed the envelope, and was about to direct it,
but paused.

"The bells have stopped," she said, listening. "It's half-past
eleven. Put on your things, Ida."

The child obeyed, wondering.

"Give me my purse out of the drawer. See, there's a shilling. Now,
say this after me: Mr. Abra'm Woodstock, Number--, St. John Street
Road."

Ida repeated the address.

"Now, listen, Ida. You put this letter in your pocket; you go down
into the Mary'bone road; you ask for a 'bus to the Angel. When you
get to the Angel, you ask your way to Number--, St. John Street
Road; it isn't far off. Knock at the door, and ask if Mr. Abra'm
Woodstock is in. If he is, say you want to see him, and then give
him this letter,--into his own hands, and nobody else's. If he
isn't in, ask when he will be, and, if it won't be long, wait."

Ida promised, and then, after a long gaze, her mother dropped back
again on the pillow, and turned her face away. A cough shook her for
a few moments. Ida waited.

"Well, ain't you gone?" asked Lotty faintly.

"Kiss me, mother."

They held each other in a passionate embrace, and then the child
went away.

She reached Islington without difficulty, and among the bustling and
loitering crowd which obstructs the corner at the Angel, found some
one to direct her to the street she sought. She had to walk some
distance down St. John Street Road, in the direction of the City,
before discovering the house she desired to find. When she reached
it, it proved to be a very dingy tenement, the ground-floor
apparently used as offices; a much-worn plate on the door exhibited
the name of the gentleman to whom her visit was, with his
professional description added. Mr. Woodstock was an accountant.

She rang the bell, and a girl appeared. Yes, Mr. Woodstock was at
home. Ida was told to enter the passage, and wait.

A door at her right hand as she entered was slightly ajar, and
voices could be heard from the other side of it. One of these voices
very shortly raised itself in a harsh and angry tone, and Ida could
catch what was said.

"Well, Mr. What's-your-name, I suppose I know my own business rather
better than you can teach me. It's pretty clear you've been doing
your best for some time to set the people against me, and I'm damned
if I'll have it! You go to the place on religious pretences, and
what your real object may be I don't know; but I do know one thing,
and that is, I won't have you hanging about any longer. I'll meet
you there myself, and if it's a third-floor window you get pitched
out of, well, it won't be my fault. Now I don't want any more talk
with you. This is most folks' praying-time; I wonder you're not at
it. It's _my_ time for writing letters, and I'd rather have your
room than your company. I'm a plain-spoken man, you see, a man of
business, and I don't mince matters. To come and dictate to me about
the state of my houses and of my tenants ain't a business-like
proceeding, and you'll excuse me if I don't take it kindly. There's
the door, and good morning to you!"

The door opened, and a young man, looking pale and dismayed, came
out quickly, and at once left the house. Behind him came the last
speaker. At the sight of the waiting child he stood still, and the
expression of his face changed from sour annoyance to annoyed
surprise.

"Eh? Well?" he exclaimed, looking closely at Ida, his eye-brows
contracting.

"I have a letter for Mr. Abra'm Woodstock, sir."

"Well, give it here. Who's it from?"

"Mrs. Starr, sir."

"Who's Mrs. Starr? Come in here, will you?"

His short and somewhat angry tone was evidently in some degree the
result of the interview that had just closed, but also pretty
clearly an indication of his general manner to strangers. He let the
child pass him, and followed her into the room with the letter in
his hand. He did not seem able to remove his eyes from her face.
Ida, on her side, did not dare to look up at him. He was a massively
built, grey-headed man of something more than sixty. Everything
about him expressed strength and determination, power alike of body
and mind. His features were large and heavy, but the forehead would
have become a man of strong intellect; the eyes were full of
astonishing vital force, and the chin was a physiognomical study, so
strikingly did its moulding express energy of character. He was
clean-shaven, and scarcely a seam or wrinkle anywhere broke the
hard, smooth surface of his visage, its complexion clear and rosy as
that of a child.

Still regarding Ida, he tore open the envelope. At the sight of the
writing he, not exactly started, but moved his head rather suddenly,
and again turned his eyes upon the messenger.

"Sit down," he said, pointing to a chair. The room was an
uncomfortable office, with no fire. He himself took a seat
deliberately at a desk, whence he could watch Ida, and began to
read. As he did so, his face remained unmoved, but he looked away
occasionally, as if to reflect.

"What's your name?" he asked, when he had finished, beginning, at
the same time, to tear the letter into very small pieces, which he
threw into a waste-paper basket.

"Ida, sir,--Ida Starr."

"Starr, eh?" He looked at her very keenly, and, still looking, and
still tearing up the letter, went on in a hard, unmodulated voice.
"Well, Ida Starr, it seems your mother wants to put you in the way
of earning your living." The child looked up in fear and
astonishment. "You can carry a message? You'll say to your mother
that I'll undertake to do what I can for you, on one condition, and
that is that she puts you in my hands and never sees you again."

"Oh, I can't leave mother!" burst from the child's lips
involuntarily, her horror overcoming her fear of the speaker.

"I didn't ask you if you could," remarked Mr. Woodstock, with
something like a sneer, tapping the desk with the fingers of his
right hand. "I asked whether you could carry a message. Can you, or
not?"

"Yes, I can," stammered Ida.

"Then take _that_ message, and tell your mother it's all I've got to
say. Run away."

He rose and stood with his hands behind him, watching her. Ida made
what haste she could to the door, and sped out into the street.





CHAPTER III

ANTECEDENTS




It would not have been easy to find another instance of a union of
keen intellect and cold heart so singular as that displayed in the
character of Abraham Woodstock. The man s life had been strongly
consistent from the beginning; from boyhood a powerful will had
borne him triumphantly over every difficulty, and in each decisive
instance his will had been directed by a shrewd intelligence which
knew at once the strength of its own resources and the multiplied
weaknesses of the vast majority of men. In the pursuit of his ends
he would tolerate no obstacle which his strength would suffice to
remove. In boyhood and early manhood the exuberance of his physical
power was wont to manifest itself in brutal self-assertion. At
school he was the worst kind of bully, his ferociousness tempered by
no cowardice. Later on, he learned that a too demonstrative bearing
would on many occasions interfere with his success in life; he toned
down his love of muscular victory, and only allowed himself an
outbreak every now and then, when he felt he could afford the
indulgence. Put early into an accountant's office, and losing his
father about the same time (the parent, who had a diseased heart,
was killed by an outburst of fury to which Abraham gave way on some
trivial occasion), he had henceforth to fight his own battle, and
showed himself very capable of winning it. In many strange ways he
accumulated a little capital, and the development of commercial
genius put him at a comparatively early age on the road to fortune.
He kept to the business of an accountant, and by degrees added
several other distinct callings. He became a lender of money in
several shapes, keeping both a loan-office and a pawnbroker's shop.
In middle age he frequented the race-course, but, for sufficient
reasons, dropped that pursuit entirely before he had turned his
fiftieth year. As a youth he had made a good thing of games of
skill, but did not pursue them as a means of profit when he no
longer needed the resource.

He married at the age of thirty. This, like every other step he
took, was well planned; his wife brought him several thousand
pounds, being the daughter of a retired publican with whom Woodstock
had had business relations.

Two years after his marriage was born his first and only child, a
girl whom they called Lotty. Lotty, as she grew up, gradually
developed an unfortunate combination of her parents' qualities; she
had her mother's weakness of mind, without her mother's moral sense,
and from her father she derived an ingrained stubbornness, which had
nothing in common with strength of character. Doubly unhappy was it
that she lost her mother so early; the loss deprived her of gentle
guidance during her youth, and left her without resource against her
father's coldness or harshness. The result was that the softer
elements of her character unavoidably degenerated and found
expression in qualities not at all admirable, whilst her obstinacy
grew the ally of the weakness from which she had most to fear.

Lotty was sent to a day-school till the age of thirteen, then had to
become her father's housekeeper. Her friends were very few, none of
them likely to be of use to her. Left very much to her own control,
she made an acquaintance which led to secret intimacy and open
disaster. Rather than face her father with such a disclosure, she
left home, and threw herself upon the mercy of the man who had
assisted her to go astray. He was generous enough to support her for
about a year, during which time her child was born. Then his help
ceased.

The familiar choice lay before her--home again, the streets, or
starvation. Hardship she could not bear; the second alternative she
shrank from on account of her child; she determined to face her
father. For him she had no affection, and knew that he did not love
her; only desperation could drive her back. She came one Sunday
evening, found Mr. Woodstock at home, and, without letting the
servant say who was come, went up and entered his presence, the
child in her arms. Abraham rose and looked at her calmly. Her
disappearance had not troubled him, though he had exerted himself to
discover why and whither she was gone, and her return did not
visibly affect him. She was a rebel against his authority--so he
viewed the matter--and consequently quite beyond the range of his
sympathies. He listened to all she had to say, beheld unmoved her
miserable tears, and, when she became silent, coolly delivered his
ultimatum. For her he would procure a situation, whereby she could
earn her living, and therewith his relations to her would end; the
child he would put into other hands and have it cared for, but Lotty
would lose sight of it for ever. The girl hesitated, but the
maternal instinct was very strong in her; the little one began to
cry, as if fearing separation from its mother; she decided to
refuse.

"Then I shall go on the streets!" she exclaimed passionately.
"There's nothing else left for me."

"You can go where you please," returned Abraham.

She tried to obtain work, of course fruitlessly. She got into debt
with her landlady, and only took the fatal step when at length
absolutely turned adrift.

That was not quite ten years gone by; she was then but eighteen. Let
her have lost her child, and she would speedily have fallen into the
last stages of degradation. But the little one lived. She had called
it Ida, a name chosen from some tale in the penny weeklies, which
were the solace of her misery. She herself took the name of Starr,
also from a page of fiction.

Balancing the good and evil of this life in her dark little mind,
Lotty determined that one thing there was for which it was worth
while to make sacrifices, one end which she felt strong enough to
keep persistently in view. Ida should be brought up "respectably"--
it was her own word; she should be kept absolutely free from the
contamination of her mother's way of living; nay, should, when the
time came, go to school, and have good chances. And at the end of
all this was a far-off hope, a dim vision of possibilities, a vague
trust that her daughter might perchance prove for her a means of
returning to that world of "respectability" from which she was at
present so hopelessly shut out. She would keep making efforts to get
into an honest livelihood as often as an occasion presented itself;
and Ida should always live with "respectable" people, cost what it
might.

The last resolution was only adhered to for a few months. Lotty
could not do without her little one, and eventually brought it back
to her own home. It is not an infrequent thing to find little
children living in disorderly houses. In the profession Lotty had
chosen there are, as in all professions, grades and differences. She
was by no means a vicious girl, she had no love of riot for its own
sake; she would greatly have preferred a decent mode of life, had it
seemed practicable. Hence she did not associate herself with the
rank and file of abandoned women; her resorts were not the crowded
centres; her abode was not in the quarters consecrated to her
business. In all parts of London there are quiet by-streets of
houses given up to lodging-letting, wherein are to be found many
landladies, who, good easy souls, trouble little about the private
morals of their lodgers, so long as no positive disorder comes about
and no public scandal is occasioned. A girl who says that she is
occupied in a workroom is never presumed to be able to afford the
luxury of strict virtue, and if such a one, on taking a room, says
that "she supposes she may have friends come to see her?" the
landlady will understand quite well what is meant, and will either
accept or refuse her for a lodger as she sees good. To such houses
as these Lotty confined herself. After some three or four years of
various experiences, she hit upon the abode in Milton Street, and
there had dwelt ever since. She got on well with Mrs. Ledward, and
had been able to make comfortable arrangements for Ida. The other
lodgers in the house were generally very quiet and orderly people,
and she herself was quite successful in arranging her affairs so as
to create no disturbance. She had her regular _elientele_; she
frequented the roads about Regent's Park and Primrose Hill; and she
supported herself and her child.

Ida Starr's bringing up was in no respect inferior to that she would
have received in the home of the average London artisan or small
tradesman. At five years old she had begun to go to school; Mrs.
Ledward's daughter, a girl of seventeen, took her backwards and
forwards every day. At this school she remained three years and a
half; then her mother took her away, and put her under the care of
Miss Rutherford, a better teacher. When at home, she either amused
herself in Lotty's room, or, when that was engaged, made herself
comfortable with Mrs. Ledward's family, with one or other of whom
she generally passed the night. She heard no bad language, saw
nothing improper, listened to no worse conversation than any of the
other children at Miss Rutherford's. Even at her present age of ten
it never occurred to her to inquire how her mother supported
herself. The charges brought by Harriet Smales conveyed to her mind
no conception of their true meaning; they were to her mere general
calumnies of vague application. Her mother "bad," indeed! If so,
then what was the meaning of goodness? For poor Lotty's devotion to
the child had received its due reward herein, that she was loved as
purely and intensely as any most virtuous parent could hope to be;
so little regard has nature for social codes, so utterly is she
often opposed to all the precepts of respectability. This phrase of
Harriet's was the very first breathing against her mother's
character that Ida had ever heard. Lotty had invented fables, for
the child's amusement, about her own earlier days. The legend was,
that her husband had died about a year after marriage. Of course Ida
implicitly believed all this. Her mind contained pictures of a
beautiful little house just outside London in which her mother had
once lived, and her imagination busied itself with the time when
they would both live in just that same way. She was going to be a
teacher, so it had been decided in confidential chats, and would one
day have a school of her own. In such a future Lotty herself really
believed. The child seemed to her extraordinarily clover, and in
four more years she would be as old as a girl who had assisted with
the little ones in the first school she went to. Lotty was
ambitious. Offers of Mrs. Ledward to teach Ida dressmaking, she had
put aside; it was not good enough.

Yet Ida was not in reality remarkable either for industry or
quickness in learning. At both schools she had frequently to be
dealt with somewhat severely. Ability she showed from time to time,
but in application she was sadly lacking. Books were distasteful to
her, more even than to most children; she learned sometimes by
listening to the teacher, but seldom the lessons given her to
prepare. At home there were no books to tempt her to read for
herself; her mother never read, and would not have known how to set
about giving her child a love for such occupation, even had she
deemed it needful. And yet Ida always seemed to have abundance to
think about; she would sit by herself for hours, without any
childlike employment, and still not seem weary. When asked what her
thoughts ran upon, she could not give very satisfactory answers; she
was always rather slow in expressing herself, and never chattered,
even to her mother. One queer and most unchildlike habit she had,
which, as if thinking it wrong, she only indulged when quite alone;
she loved to sit before a looking-glass and gaze into her own face.
At such times her little countenance became very sad without any
understood reason.

The past summer had been to her a time of happiness, for there had
come comparatively little bad weather, and sunshine was like wine to
Ida. The proximity of the park was a great advantage. During the
weeks of summer holiday, she spent whole days wandering about the
large, grassy tracts by herself, rejoicing in the sensation of
freedom from task-work. If she were especially in luck, a dog would
come and play about her, deserting for a minute its lawful master or
mistress, and the child would roll upon the grass in delighted
sport. Or she would find out a warm, shady nook quite near to the
borders of the Zoological Gardens, and would lie there with ear
eager to catch the occasional sounds from the animals within. The
roar of the lion thrilled her with an exquisite trembling; the calls
of the birds made her laugh with joy. Once, three years ago, her
mother had taken her to Hastings for a week, and when she now caught
the cry of the captive sea-gulls, it brought back marvellous
memories of the ocean flashing in the sun, of the music of breakers,
of the fresh smell of the brine.

Now there had come upon her the first great grief. She had caused
her mother bitter suffering, and her own heart was filled with a
commensurate pain. Had she been a little older she would already
have been troubled by another anxiety; for the last two years her
mother's health had been falling away; every now and then had come a
fit of illness, and at other times Lotty suffered from a depression
of spirits which left her no energy to move about. Ida knew that her
mother was often unhappy, but naturally could not dwell long on this
as soon as each successive occasion had passed away. Indeed, in her
heart, she almost welcomed such times, since she was then allowed to
sleep upstairs, one of her greatest joys. Lotty was only too well
aware of the physical weakness which was gaining upon her. She was
mentally troubled, moreover. Ida was growing up; there would come a
time, and that very shortly, when it would be necessary either for
them to part, or else for herself to change her mode of life.
Indeed, she had never from the first quite lost sight of her
intention to seek for an honest means of support; and of late years
the consciousness of her hopeless position had grown to an
ever-recurring trouble. She knew the proposed step was in reality
impossible to her, yet she persistently thought and talked of it. To
Mrs. Ledward she confided at least once a week, generally when she
paid her rent, her settled intention to go and find work of some
kind in the course of the next two or three days; till at length
this had become a standing joke with the landlady, who laughed
merrily as often as the subject was mentioned. Lotty had of late let
her thoughts turn to her father, whom she had never seen since their
parting. Not with any affection did she think of him, but, in her
despairing moments, it seemed to her impossible that he should still
refuse aid if she appealed to him for it. Several times of late she
had been on the point of putting her conviction to the test. She had
passed his house from time to time, and knew that he still lived
there. Perhaps the real reason of her hesitation was, not fear of
him, but a dread, which she would not confess to herself, lest he
should indeed prove obdurate, and so put an end to her last hope.
For what would become of her and of Ida if her health absolutely
failed? The poor creature shrank from the thought in horror. The
hope connected with her father grew more and more strong. But it
needed some very decided crisis to bring her to the point of
overcoming all the apprehensions which lay in the way of an appeal
to the stern old man This crisis had arrived. The illness which was
now upon her she felt to be more serious than any she had yet
suffered. Suppose she were to die, and Ida to be left alone in the
world Even before she heard of the child's dismissal from school she
had all but made up her mind to write to her father, and the shock
of that event gave her the last impulse. She wrote a letter of
pitiful entreaty. Would he help her to some means of earning a
living for herself and her child? She could not part from Ida.
Perhaps she had not long to live, and to ask her to give up her
child would be too cruel. She would do anything, would go into
service, perform the hardest and coarsest toil. She told him how Ida
had been brought up, and implored his pity for the child, who at all
events was innocent.

When Ida reached home from her visit to the City, she saw her mother
risen and sitting by the fire. Lotty had found the suspense
insupportable as she lay still, and, though the pains in her chest
grew worse and the feeling of lassitude was gaining upon her, she
had half-dressed, and even tried to move about. Just before the
child's appearance, she seemed to have sunk into something of a doze
on her chair, for, as the door opened, she started and looked about
her in doubt.

"Where have you been so long?" she asked impatiently.

"I got back as quickly as I could, mother," said Ida, in some
surprise.

"Got back? Is school over?"

"From the--the place you sent me to, mother."

"What am I thinking of!" exclaimed Lotty, starting to consciousness.
"Come here, and tell me. Did you see--see him, Ida? Mr. Woodstock,
you know."

"Yes, mother," began the child, with pale face, "and he--he said I
was to tell you--"

She burst into tears, and flew to her mother's neck.

"Oh, you won't send me away from you, mother dear? I can't go away
from you!"

Lotty felt she knew what this meant. Fear and trouble wrought with
her physical weakness to drive her almost distracted. She sprang up,
caught the child by the shoulders, and shook her as if in anger.

"Tell me, can't you?" she cried, straining her weak voice. "What did
he say? Don't be a little fool! Can't the child speak?"

She fell back again, seized with a cough which choked her. Ida
stayed her sobbing, and looked on in terror. Her mother motioned
constantly to her to proceed.

"The gentleman said," Ida continued, with calm which was the result
of extreme self-control, "that he would take me; but that you were
never to see me again."

"Did he say anything else about me?" whispered Lotty.

"No, nothing else."

"Go--go and tell him you'll come,--you'll leave me."

Ida stood in anguish, speechless and motionless. All at once her
mother seemed to forget what she was saying, and sat still, staring
into the fire. Several times she shivered. Her hands lay listlessly
on her lap; she breathed with difficulty.

Shortly afterwards, the landlady came into the room. She was alarmed
at Lotty's condition. Her attempts to arouse the sick woman to
consciousness were only partly successful. She went downstairs
again, and returned with another woman, a lodger in the house. These
two talked together in low tones. The result of their colloquy was
that Mrs. Ledward dressed Lotty as well as she could, whilst the
other left the house and returned with a cab.

"We're going to take your mother to the hospital," said Mrs. Ledward
to the child. "You wait here till we come back, there's a good girl.
Now, hold up a bit, Lotty; try and walk downstairs. That's better,
my girl."

Ida was left alone.





CHAPTER IV

CHRISTMAS IN TWO HOMES




When Ida Starr was dismissed from school it wanted but a few days to
the vacations. The day which followed her mother's removal to the
hospital was Christmas Eve. For two hours on the afternoon of
Christmas Day, Ida sat in silence by the bedside in the ward,
holding her mother's hand. The patient was not allowed to speak,
seemed indeed unable to do so. The child might not even kiss her.
The Sister and the nurse looked pityingly at Ida when they passed
by, and, when the visitors' time was at an end, and she had to rise
and go, the Sister put an orange into her hand, and spoke a few
hopeful words.

Night was setting in as she walked homewards; it was cold, and the
sky threatened snow. She had only gone a few yards, when there came
by a little girl of her own age, walking with some one who looked
like a nurse-maid. They were passing; but all at once the child
sprang to Ida's side with a cry of recognition. It was little Maud
Enderby.

"Where have you been, Ida? Where are you going? Oh, I'm so glad; I
wanted so to see you. Miss Rutherford told us you'd left school, and
you weren't coming back again. Aren't you really? And sha'n't I see
you?"

"I don't know, I think not," said Ida. In her premature trouble she
seemed so much older than her friend.

"I told Miss Rutherford you weren't to blame," went on Maud eagerly.
"I told her it was Harriet's own fault, and how shockingly she'd
behaved to you. I expect you'll come back again after the holidays,
don't you?"

Ida shook her head, and said nothing.

"But I shall see you again?" pleaded the little maid. "You know
we're always going to be friends, aren't we? Who shall I tell all my
dreams to, if I lose you?"

Dreams, in the literal sense of the word. Seldom a week went by, but
Maud had some weird vision of the night to recount to her friend,
the meaning of which they would together try to puzzle out; for it
was an article of faith with both that there were meanings to be
discovered, and deep ones.

Ida promised that she would not allow herself to be lost to her
friend, and they kissed, and went their several ways.

Throughout the day the door of Mr. Smales's shop had been open,
though the shutters were up. But at nightfall it was closed, and the
family drew around the tea-table in the parlour which smelt so of
drugs. It was their only sitting-room, for as much of the house as
could be was let to another family. Besides Mr. Smales and his
daughter Harriet, there sat at the table a lad of about thirteen,
with a dark, handsome face, which had something of a foreign cast
His eyes gleamed at all times with the light of a frank joyousness;
he laughed with the unrestraint of a perfectly happy nature. His
countenance was capable, too, of a thoughtfulness beyond his years,
a gravity which seemed to come of high thoughts or rich imagination.
He bore no trace of resemblance to either the chemist or his
daughter, yet was their relative. Mr. Smales had had a sister, who
at an early age became a public singer, and so far prospered as to
gain some little distinction in two or three opera seasons. Whilst
thus engaged, she made the acquaintance of an Italian, Casti by
name, fell in love with him, and subsequently followed him to Italy.
Her courage was rewarded, for there she became the singer's wife.
They travelled for two years, during which time a son was born to
them. The mother's health failed; she was unable henceforth to
travel with her husband, and, after living in Rome for nearly four
years, she died there. The boy was shortly brought back to England
by his father, and placed in the care of Mr. Smales, on the
understanding that a sum of money should be paid yearly for his
support and education. From that day to the present nothing more had
been heard of Signor Casti, and all the care of his sister's child
had fallen upon poor Smales, who was not too well provided with
means to support his own small household. However, he had not failed
in the duty, and Julian (his name had been Englished) was still
going to school at his uncle's expense. It was by this time
understood that, on leaving school, he should come into the shop,
and there qualify himself for the business of a chemist.

Had it not been for Julian, the back parlour would have seen but
little cheerfulness to-night. Mr. Smales himself was always
depressed in mind and ailing in body. Life had proved too much for
him; the burden of the recurring daylight was beyond his strength.
There was plainly no lack of kindliness in his disposition, and this
never failed to come strongly into his countenance as often as he
looked at Harriet. She was his only child. Her mother had died of
consumption early in their married life, and it was his perpetual
dread lest he should discover in Harriet a disposition to the same
malady.

His fears had but too much stimulus to keep them alive. Harriet had
passed through a sickly childhood, and was growing up with a feeble
constitution. Body and mind were alike unhealthy. Of all the people
who came in contact with her, her father alone was blind to her
distorted sense of right, her baseless resentments, her malicious
pleasures, her depraved intellect. His affection she repaid with
indifference. At present, the only person she appeared to really
like was the servant Sarah, a girl of vicious character.

Harriet had suffered more from Ida's blow than had at first appeared
likely. The wound would not heal well, and she had had several
feverish nights. For her convenience, the couch had been drawn up
between the fire and the table; and, reclining here, she every now
and then threw out a petulant word in reply to her father's or
Julian's well-meant cheerfulness. But for the boy, the gloomy
silence would seldom have been broken. He, however, was full
to-night of a favourite subject, and kept up a steady flow of bright
narrative. At school he was much engaged just now with the history
of Rome, and it was his greatest delight to tell the listeners at
home the glorious stories which were his latest acquisitions. All
to-day he had been reading Plutarch. The enthusiasm with which he
spoke of these old heroes and their deeds went beyond mere boyish
admiration of valour and delight in bloodshed; he seemed to be
strongly sensible of the real features of greatness in these men's
lives, and invested his stories with a glow of poetical colour which
found little appreciation in either of his hearers.

"And I was born in Rome, wasn't I, uncle?" he exclaimed at last.
"_I_ am a Roman; _Romanus sum_!"

Then he laughed with his wonted bright gleefulness. It was half in
jest, but for all that there was a genuine warmth on his cheek, and
lustre in his fine eyes.

"Some day I will go to Rome again," he said, "and both of you shall
go with me. We shall see the Forum and the Capitol! Sha'n't you
shout when you see the Capitol, uncle?"

Poor Smales only smiled sadly and shook his head. It was a long way
from Marylebone to Rome; greater still the distance between the
boy's mind and that of his uncle.

Sarah took Harriet to bed early. Julian had got hold of his Plutarch
again, and read snatches of it aloud every now and then. His uncle
paid no heed, was sunk in dull reverie. When they had sat thus for
more than an hour, Mr. Smales began to exhibit a wish to talk.

"Put the book away, and draw up to the fire, my boy," he said, with
as near an approach to heartiness as he was capable of. "It's
Christmas time, and Christmas only comes once a year."

He rubbed his palms together, then began to twist the corners of his
handkerchief.

"Well, Julian," he went on, leaning feebly forward to the fire, "a
year more school, I suppose, and then--business; what?"

"Yes, uncle."

The boy spoke cheerfully, but yet not in the same natural way as
before.

"I wish I could afford to make you something better, my lad; you
ought to be something better by rights. And I don't well know what
you'll find to do in this little shop. The business might be better;
yes, might be better. You won't have much practice in dispensing,
I'm afraid, unless things improve. It is mostly hair-oil,--and the
patent medicines. It's a poor look-out for you, Julian."

There was a silence.

"Harriet isn't quite well yet, is she?" Smales went on, half to
himself.

"No, she looked poorly to-night."

"Julian," began the other, but paused, rubbing his hands more
nervously than ever.

"Yes, uncle?"

"I wonder what 'ud become of her if I--if I died now? You're
growing up, and you're a clever lad; you'll soon be able to shift
for yourself. But what'll Harriet do? If only she had her health.
And I shall have nothing to leave either her or you, Julian,--
nothing,--nothing! She'll have to get her living somehow. I must
think of some easy business for her, I must. She might be a teacher,
but her head isn't strong enough, I fear. Julian--"

"Yes, uncle?"

"You--you are old enough to understand things, my boy," went on
his uncle, with quavering voice. "Suppose, after I'm dead and gone,
Harriet should want help. She won't make many friends, I fear, and
she'll have bad health. Suppose she was in want of any kind,--
you'd stand by her, Julian, wouldn't you? You'd be a friend to her,
--always?"

"Indeed I would, uncle!" exclaimed the boy stoutly.

"You promise me that, Julian, this Christmas night?--you promise
it?"

"Yes, I promise, uncle. You've always been kind and good to me, and
see if I'm not the same to Harriet."

His voice trembled with generous emotion.

"No, I sha'n't see it, my boy," said Smales, shaking his head
drearily; "but the promise will be a comfort to me at the end, a
comfort to me. You're a good lad, Julian!"

Silence came upon them again.

In the same district, in one of a row of semi-detached houses
standing in gardens, lived Ida's little friend, Maud Enderby, with
her aunt, Miss Bygrave, a lady of forty-two or forty-three. The
rooms were small and dark; the furniture sparse, old-fashioned, and
much worn; there were no ornaments in any of the rooms, with the
exception of a few pictures representing the saddest incidents in
the life of Christ. On entering the front door you were oppressed by
the chill, damp atmosphere, and by a certain unnatural stillness.
The stairs were not carpeted, but stained a dark colour; a footfall
upon them, however light, echoed strangely as if from empty chambers
above. There was no sign of lack of repair; perfect order and
cleanliness wherever the eye penetrated; yet the general effect was
an unspeakable desolation.

Maud Enderby, on reaching home after her meeting with Ida, entered
the front parlour, and sat down in silence near the window, where
faint daylight yet glimmered. The room was without fire. Over the
mantelpiece hung an engraving of the Crucifixion; on the opposite
wall were the Agony in the Garden, and an Entombment; all after old
masters. The centre table, a few chairs, and a small sideboard were
the sole articles of furniture. The table was spread with a white
cloth; upon it were a loaf of bread, a pitcher containing milk, two
plates, and two glasses.

Maud sat in the cold room for a quarter of an hour; it became quite
dark. Then was heard a soft footstep descending the stairs; the door
opened, and a lady came in, bearing a lighted lamp, which she stood
upon the table. She was tall, very slender, and with a face which a
painter might have used to personify the spiritual life. Its
outlines were of severe perfection; its expression a confirmed
grief, subdued by, and made subordinate to, the consciousness of an
inward strength which could convert suffering into triumph. Her
garment was black, of the simplest possible design. In looking at
Maud, as the child rose from the chair, it was scarcely affection
that her eyes expressed, rather a grave compassion. Maud took a seat
at the table without speaking; her aunt sat down over against her.
In perfect silence they partook of the milk and the bread. Miss
Bygrave then cleared the table with her own hands, and took the
things out of the room. Maud still kept her place. The child's
manner was not at all constrained; she was evidently behaving in her
wonted way. Her eyes wandered about the room with rather a dreamy
gaze, and, as often as they fell upon her aunt's face, became very
serious, though in no degree expressive of fear or even awe.

Miss Bygrave returned, and seated herself near the little girl; then
remained thoughtful for some minutes. The breath from their lips was
plainly visible on the air. Maud almost shivered now and then, but
forced herself to suppress the impulse. Her aunt presently broke the
silence, speaking m a low voice, which had nothing of tenderness,
but was most impressive in its earnest calm.

"I wish to speak to you before you go upstairs, Maud; to speak of
things which you cannot understand fully as yet, but which you are
old enough to begin to think about."

Maud was surprised. It was the first time that her aunt had ever
addressed her in this serious way. She was used to being all but
ignored, though never in a manner which made her feel that she was
treated unkindly. There was nothing like confidence between them;
only in care for her bodily wants did Miss Bygrave fill the place of
the mother whose affection the child had never known. Maud crossed
her hands on her lap, and looked up with respectful attention upon
her pale sweet little face.

"Do you wonder at all," Miss Bygrave went on, "why we never spend
Christmas like your friends do in their homes, with eating and
drinking and all sorts of merriment?"

"Yes, aunt, I do."

It was evidently the truth, and given with the simple directness
which characterised the child.

"You know what Christmas Day means, Maud?"

"It is the day on which Christ was born."

"And for what purpose did Christ come as a child on earth?"

Maud thought for a moment. She had never had any direct religious
teaching; all she knew of these matters was gathered from her
regular attendance at church. She replied in a phrase which had
rested in her mind, though probably conveying little if any meaning
to her.

"He came to make us free from sin."

"And so we should rejoice at His coming. But would it please Him, do
you think, to see us showing our joy by indulging in those very sins
from which He came to free us?"

Maud looked with puzzled countenance.

"Is it a sin to like cake and sweet things, aunt?"

The gravity of the question brought a smile to Miss Bygrave's close,
strong lips.

"Listen, Maud," she said, "and I will tell you what I mean. For you
to like such things is no sin, as long as you are still too young to
have it explained to you why you should overcome that liking. As I
said, you are now old enough to begin to think of more than a
child's foolishness, to ask yourself what is the meaning of the life
which has been given you, what duties you must set before yourself
as you grow up to be a woman. When once these duties have become
clear to you, when you understand what the end of life is, and how
you should seek to gain it, then many things become sinful which
were not so before, and many duties must be performed which
previously you were not ready for."

Miss Bygrave spoke with effort, as if she found it difficult to
express herself in sufficiently simple phraseology. Speaking, she
did not look at the child; and, when the pause came, her eyes were
still fixed absently on the picture above the mantelpiece.

"Keep in mind what I shall tell you," she proceeded with growing
solemnity, "and some day you will better understand its meaning than
you can now. The sin which Christ came to free us from was--
fondness for the world, enjoyment of what we call pleasure, desire
for happiness on earth. He Himself came to set us the example of one
to whom the world was nothing, who could put aside every joy, and
make His life a life of sorrows. Even that was not enough. When the
time had come, and He had finished His teaching of the disciples
whom He chose, He willingly underwent the most cruel of all deaths,
to prove that His teaching had been the truth, and to show us that
we must face any most dreadful suffering rather than desert what we
believe to be right."

She pointed to the crucified figure, and Maud followed the direction
of her hand with awed gaze.

"And this," said Miss Bygrave, "is why I think it wrong to make
Christmas a time of merriment. In the true Christian, every
enjoyment which comes from the body is a sin. If you feel you _like_
this or that, it is a sign that you must renounce it, give it up. If
you feel fond of life, you must force yourself to hate it; for life
is sin. Life is given to us that we may conquer ourselves. We are
placed in the midst of sin that we may struggle against its
temptations. There is temptation in the very breath you draw, since
you feel a dread if it is checked. You must live so as to be ready
at any moment to give up your life with gladness, as a burden which
it has been appointed you to bear for a time. There is temptation in
the love you feel for those around you; it makes you cling to life;
you are tempted to grieve if you lose them, whereas death is the
greatest blessing in the gift of God. And just because it is so, we
must not snatch at it before our time; it would be a sin to kill
ourselves, since that would be to escape from the tasks set us. Many
pleasures would seem to be innocent, but even these it is better to
renounce, since for that purpose does every pleasure exist. I speak
of the pleasures of the world. One joy there is which we may and
must pursue, the joy of sacrifice. The more the body suffers, the
greater should be the delight of the soul; and the only moment of
perfect happiness should be that when the world grows dark around
us, and we feel the hand of death upon our hearts."

She was silent, and both sat in the cold room without word or
motion.





CHAPTER V

POSSIBILITIES




Christmas passed, and the beginning of the New Year drew nigh. And,
one morning, as Mr. Woodstock was glancing up and down the pages of
a ledger, a telegram was delivered to him. It was from a hospital in
the north-west of London. "Your daughter is dying, and wishes to see
you. Please come at once."

Lotty's ailment had declared itself as pneumonia. She was frequently
delirious, and the substance of her talk at such times led the
attendant Sister to ask her, when reason returned, whether she did
not wish any relative to be sent for. Lotty was frightened, but, as
long as she was told that there was still hope of recovery, declined
to mention any name. The stubborn independence which had supported
her through these long years asserted itself again, as a reaction
after her fruitless appeal; at moments she felt that she could die
with her lips closed, and let what might happen to her child. But
when she at length read upon the faces of those about her that her
fate hung in the balance, and when she saw the face of little Ida,
come there she knew not how, looking upon her from the bedside, then
her purpose yielded, and in a whisper she told her father's address,
and begged that he might be apprised of her state.

Abraham Woodstock arrived at the hospital, but to no purpose. Lotty
had lost her consciousness. He waited for some hours; there was no
return of sensibility. When it had been long dark, and he had
withdrawn from the ward for a little, he was all at once hastily
summoned back. He stood by the bedside, his hands behind his back,
his face set in a hard gaze upon the pale features on the pillow.
Opposite to him stood the medical man, and a screen placed around
the bed shut them off from the rest of the ward. All at once Lotty's
eyes opened. It seemed as though she recognised her father, for a
look of surprise came to her countenance. Then there was a gasping
for breath, a struggle, and the eyes saw no more, for all their
staring.

Mr. Woodstock left the hospital. At the first public-house he
reached he entered and drank a glass of whisky. The barman had
forgotten the piece of lemon, and was rewarded with an oath
considerably stronger than the occasion seemed to warrant. Arrived
at certain cross-ways, Mr. Woodstock paused. His eyes were turned
downwards; he did not seem dubious of his way, so much as in
hesitation as to a choice of directions. He took a few steps hither,
then back; began to wend thither, and again turned. When he at
length decided, his road brought him to Milton Street, and up to the
door on which stood the name of Mrs. Ledward.

He knocked loudly, and the landlady herself opened.

"A Mrs. Starr lived here, I believe?" he asked.

"She does live here, sir, but she's in the orspital at present, I'm
sorry to say."

"Is her child at home?"

"She is, sir."

"Let me see her, will you? In some room, if you please."

Mrs. Ledward's squinting eyes took shrewd stock of this gentleman,
and, with much politeness, she showed him into her own parlour. Then
she summoned Ida from upstairs, and, the door being closed upon the
two, she held her ear as closely as possible to the keyhole.

Ida recognised her visitor with a start, and drew back a little.
There were both fear and dislike in her face, fear perhaps
predominating.

"You remember coming to see me," said Mr. Woodstock, looking down
upon the child, and a trifle askance.

"Yes, sir," was Ida's reply.

"I have just been at the hospital. Your mother is dead."

His voice gave way a little between the first and the last letter of
the last word. Perhaps the sound was more to his ear than the
thought had been to his mind. Perhaps, also, he felt when it was too
late that he ought to have made this announcement with something
more of preparation. Ida's eyes were fixed upon his face, and seemed
expanding as they gazed; her lips had parted; she was the image of
sudden dread. He tried to look away from her, but somehow could not.
Then two great tears dropped upon her cheeks, and her mouth began to
quiver. She put her hands up to her face, and sobbed as a grown
woman might have done.

Mr. Woodstock turned away for a minute, and fingered a china
ornament on the mantelpiece. He heard the sobs forcibly checked,
and, when there was silence, again faced his grandchild.

"You'll be left all alone now, you see," he said, his voice less
hard. "I was a friend of your mother's, and I'll do what I can for
you. You'd better come with me to my house."

Ida looked at him in surprise, tempered with indignation.

"If you were a friend of mother's," she said, "why did you want to
take me away from her and never let her see me again?"

"Well, you've nothing to do with that," said Abraham roughly. "Go
and put your things on, and come with me."

"No," replied Ida firmly. "I don't want to go with you."

"What you want has nothing to do with it. You will do as I tell
you."

Abraham felt strangely in this interview. It was as though time were
repeating itself, and he was once more at issue with his daughter's
childish wilfulness.

Ida did not move.

"Why won't you come?" asked Mr. Woodstock sharply.

"I don't want to," was Ida's answer.

"Look here, then," said the other, after a brief consideration. "You
have the choice, and you're old enough to see what it means. You can
either come with me and be well cared for, or stay here and shift as
best you can; now, be sharp and make up your mind."

"I don't wish to go with you, I'll stay here and do my best."

"Very well."

Mr. Woodstock whistled a bar of an air, stepped from the room, and
thence out into the streets.

It was not his intention really to go at once. Irritation had made
it impossible for him to speak longer with the child; he would walk
the length of the street and return to give her one more chance.
Distracted in purpose as he had never been in his life before, he
reached Marylebone Road; rain was just beginning to fall, and he had
no umbrella with him. He stood and looked back. Ida once out of his
sight, that impatient tenderness which her face inspired failed
before the recollection of her stubbornness. She had matched her
will with his, as bad an omen as well could be. What was the child
to him, or he to her? He did not feel capable of trying to make her
like him; what good in renewing the old conflicts and upsetting the
position of freedom he had attained? Doubtless she inherited a fatal
disposition. In his mind lurked the foreknowledge that he might come
to be fond of this little outcast, but Woodstock was incapable as
yet of understanding that love must and will be its own reward. The
rain fell heavier, and at this moment an omnibus came up. He hailed
it, saying to himself that he would think the matter over and come
back on the morrow. The first part of his purpose he fulfilled; but
to Milton Street he never returned.

As soon as he had left the house, Mrs. Ledward bounced into the room
where Ida stood.

"You little idjot!" she exclaimed. "What do you mean by refusing a
offer like that!--Why, the gentleman's your own father."

"My father!" repeated Ida, in scornful astonishment. "My father died
when I was a baby. Mother's told me so often."

"If you believe all your mother told you,--Well, well, you have
been a little wooden-head. What made you behave like that to him?--
Where does he live, eh?"

"I don't know."

"You do know. Why, I heard him say you'd been to see him. And what
are you going to do, I'd like to know? You dont expect me to keep
you, I s'pose. Tell me at once where the gentleman lives, and let me
take you there. The idea of your turning against your own father!"

"He's _not_ my father!" cried Ida passionately. "My father is dead;
and now mother's dead, and I'm alone." She turned and went from the
room, weeping bitterly.





CHAPTER VI

AN ADVERTISEMENT




In a morning newspaper of March 187--, that is to chapter, appeared a
singular advertisement.

"WANTED, human companionship. A young man of four-and-twenty wishes
to find a congenial associate of about his own age. He is a student
of ancient and modern literatures, a free-thinker in religion, a
lover of art in all its forms, a hater of conventionalism. Would
like to correspond in the first instance. Address O. W., City News
Rooms, W.C."

An advertisement which, naturally, might mean much or little, might
be the outcome of an idle whim, or the despairing cry of a hungry
heart. It could not be expected to elicit many replies; and brought
indeed but one.

Behind the counter of a chemist's shop in Oxford Street there
served, day after day, a young assistant much observed of female
customers. The young man was handsome, and not with that vulgar
handsomeness which is fairly common among the better kind of
shop-walkers and counter-keepers. He had rather long black hair,
which arranged itself in silky ripples about a face of perfectly
clear, though rather dark, complexion. When he smiled, as he
frequently did, the effect was very pleasant. He spoke, too, with
that musical intonation which is always more or less suggestive of
musical thought. He did not seem by any means ideally adapted to the
place he occupied here, yet filled it without suspicion of
constraint or uneasiness: there was nothing in him to make one
suppose that he had ever been accustomed to a better sphere of life.

He lived in the house above the shop, and had done so for about two
years; previously he had held a like position in a more modest
establishment. His bed-room, which had to serve him as sitting-room
also during his free hours, gave indications of a taste not
ordinarily found in chemists' assistants. On the walls were several
engravings of views in Rome, ancient and modern; and there were two
bookcases filled with literature which had evidently known the
second-hand stall,--most of the Latin poets, a few Italian books,
and some English classics. Not a trace anywhere of the habits and
predilections not unfairly associated with the youth of the shop,
not even a pipe or a cigar-holder. It was while sitting alone here
one evening, half musing, half engaged in glancing over the
advertisements in a paper two days old, that the assistant had been
attracted by the insertion just quoted. He read and re-read it,
became more thoughtful, sighed slightly. Then he moved to the table
and took some note-paper out of a writing-case. Still he seemed to
be in doubt, hesitated in pressing a pen against his thumb-nail, was
on the point of putting the note-paper away again. Ultimately,
however, he sat down to write. He covered four pages with a letter,
which he then proceeded deliberately to correct and alter, till he
had cut it down by about half. Then came another period of doubt
before he decided to make a fair copy. But it was finally made, and
the signature at the foot was: Julian Casti.

He went out at once to the post.

Two days later he received a reply, somewhat longer than his own
epistle. The writer was clearly keeping himself in a tentative
attitude. Still, he wrote something about his own position and his
needs. He was a teacher in a school in South London, living in
lodgings, with his evenings mostly unoccupied. His habits, he
declared, were Bohemian. Suppose, by way of testing each other's
dispositions, they were to interchange views on some book with which
both were likely to be acquainted: say, Keats's poems? In
conclusion, the "O. W." of the advertisement signed himself Osmond
Waymark.

The result was that, a week after, Casti received an invitation to
call on Waymark, at the latter's lodgings in Walcot Square,
Kennington. He arrived on a Saturday evening, just after eight
o'clock. The house he sought proved to be one of very modest
appearance; small, apparently not too clean, generally uninviting.
But a decent-looking woman opened the door, and said that Mr.
Waymark would be found in response to a knock at the first-floor
front. The visitor made his way up the dark, narrow stair-case, and
knocked as bidden. A firm voice summoned him to enter.

From a seat by a table which was placed as near as possible to a
very large fire rose a young man whose age might have been either
twenty-three or twenty-six. Most people would have inclined to give
him the latter figure. He was rather above the average stature, and
showed well-hung limbs, with a habit of holding himself which
suggested considerable toughness of sinews; he moved gracefully, and
with head well held up. His attire spoke sedentary habits; would
have been decidedly shabby, but for its evident adaptation to
easy-chair and fireside. The pure linen and general tone of
cleanliness were reassuring; the hand, too, which he extended, was
soft, delicate, and finely formed. The head was striking, strongly
individual, set solidly on a rather long and shapely neck; a fine
forehead, irregular nose, rather prominent jaw-bones, lips just a
little sensual, but speaking good-humour and intellectual character.
A heavy moustache; no beard. Eyes dark, keen, very capable of
tenderness, but perhaps more often shrewdly discerning or cynically
speculative. One felt that the present expression of genial
friendliness was unfamiliar to the face, though it by no means
failed in pleasantness. The lips had the look of being frequently
gnawed in intense thought or strong feeling. In the cheeks no
healthy colour, but an extreme sallowness on all the features.
Smiling, he showed imperfect teeth. Altogether, a young man upon
whom one felt it difficult to pronounce in the earlier stages of
acquaintance; whose intimacy but few men would exert themselves to
seek; who in all likelihood was chary of exhibiting his true self
save when secure of being understood.

Julian Casti was timid with strangers; his eyes fell before the
other's look, and he shook hands without speaking. The contrast in
mere appearance between the two was very pronounced; both seemed in
some degree to be aware of it. Waymark seemed more rugged than in
ordinary companionship; the slightly effeminate beauty of Casti, and
his diffident, shyly graceful manners, were more noticeable than
usual. Waymark inspected his visitor closely and directly; the
latter only ventured upon one or two quick side glances. Yet the
results were, on the whole, mutually satisfactory.

Julian's eyes glistened at the sight of two goodly bookcases,
reaching from floor to ceiling. There were, too, pictures of other
than the lodging-house type; engraved heads of the great in art and
science, and a few reproductions in pencil or chalk of known
subjects, perchance their possessor's own work. On the table lay
traces of literary occupation, sheets of manuscript, open books, and
the like. On another table stood a tray, with cups and saucers. A
kettle was boiling on the fire.

Waymark helped the conversation by offering a cup of coffee, which
he himself made.

"You smoke, I hope?" he asked, reaching some cigars from the
mantelpiece.

Julian shook his head, with a smile.

"No? How on earth do you support existence?--At all events, you
don't, as the railway-carriage phrase has it, object to smoking?"

"Not at all. I like the scent, but was never tempted to go further."

Waymark filled his pipe, and made himself conformable in a low
cane-bottom chair, which had stood folded-up against the wall. Talk
began to range over very various topics, Waymark leading the way,
his visitor only gradually venturing to take the initiative.
Theatres were mentioned, but Julian knew little of them; recent
books, but with these he had small acquaintance; politics, but in
these he had clearly no interest.

"That's a point of contact, at all events," exclaimed Waymark. "I
detest the very name of Parliament, and could as soon read Todhunter
on Conic Sections as the reports of a debate. Perhaps you're a
mathematician?" This with a smile.

"By no means," was the reply. "In fact," Casti went on, "I'm afraid
you begin to think my interests are very narrow indeed. My
opportunities have been small. I left a very ordinary school at
fourteen, and what knowledge I have since got has come from my own
efforts. I am sure the profit from our intercourse would be entirely
on my side. I have the wish to go in for many things, however,--"

"Oh," broke in the other, "don't suppose that I am a scholar in any
sense of the word, or a man of more than average culture. My own
regular education came to an end pretty much at the same age, and
only a certain stubbornness has forced me into an intellectual life,
if you can call it so. Not much intellect required in my every-day
business, at all events. The school in which I teach is a fair type
of the middle-class commercial 'academy;' the headmaster a
nincompoop and charlatan, my fellow-assistants poor creatures, who
must live, I suppose,--though one doesn't well understand why. I
had always a liking for Greek and Latin and can make shift to read
both in a way satisfactory to myself, though I dare say it wouldn't
go for much with college examiners. Then, as for my scribbling,
well, it has scarcely yet passed the amateur stage. It will some
day; simply because I've made up my mind that it shall; but as yet I
haven't got beyond a couple of weak articles in weak magazines, and
I don't exactly feel sure of my way. I rather think we shall
approach most nearly in our taste for poetry. I liked much what you
had to say about Keats. It decided me that we ought to go on."

Julian looked up with a bright smile.

"What did you think at first of my advertisement, eh?" cried
Waymark, with a sudden burst of loud laughter. "Queer idea, wasn't
it?"

"It came upon me curiously. It was so like a frequent thought of my
own actually carried out."

"It was? You have felt that same desperate need of congenial
society?"

"I have felt it very strongly indeed. I live so very much alone, and
have always done so. Fortunately I am of a very cheerful
disposition, or I might have suffered much. The young fellows I see
every day haven't much intellect, it must be confessed. I used to
try to get them under the influence of my own enthusiasms, but they
didn't seem to understand me. They care only for things which either
repel me, or are utterly without interest."

"Ha! you understand what that means!" Waymark had risen from his low
chair, and stood with his back to the fire. His eyes had a new life,
and he spoke in a strong, emphatic way which suited well with his
countenance. "You know what it is to have to do exclusively with
fools and brutes, to rave under the vile restraints of Philistine
surroundings? Then you can form some notion of the state I was in
when I took the step of writing that advertisement; I was, I firmly
believe, on the verge of lunacy! For two or three days I had come
back home from the school only to pace up and down the room in an
indescribable condition. I get often like that, but this time things
seemed reaching a head. Why, I positively cried with misery, absurd
as it may sound. My blood seemed too hot, seemed to be swelling out
the veins beyond endurance. As a rule I get over these moods by
furious walking about the streets half through the night, but I
couldn't even do that. I had no money to go in for dissipation: that
often helps me. Every book was loathsome to me. My landlady must
have overheard something, for she came in and began a conversation
about God knows what; I fear I mortally offended her; I could have
pitched the poor old woman out of the window! Heavens, how did I get
through those nights?"

"And the fit has passed?" inquired Julian when the other ceased.

"The Lord be praised; yes!" Waymark laughed half-scornfully. "There
came an editor's note, accepting a thing that had been going from
magazine to magazine for three months. This snatched me up into
furious spirits. I rushed out to a theatre, drank more than was good
for me, made a fool of myself in general,--and then received your
letter. Good luck never comes singly."

Julian had watched the strange workings of Waymark's face with close
interest. When the latter suddenly turned his eyes, as if to see the
effect of all his frankness, Casti coloured slightly and looked
away, but with a look of friendly sympathy.

"Do I shock you?" asked the other. "Do you think me rather too much
of an animal, for all my spiritual longings?"

"Certainly not, I can well understand you, I believe."

The conversation passed to quieter things. Julian seemed afraid of
saying too much about his own experiences, but found opportunities
of showing his acquaintance with English poetry, which was quite as
extensive as that of his new friend, excepting in the case of a few
writers of the day, whom he had not been able to procure. He had
taught himself Italian, too, and had read considerably in that
language. He explained that his father was an Italian, but had died
when he himself was still an infant.

"You have been in Italy?" asked Waymark, with interest.

A strange look came over Julian's features, a look at once bright
and melancholy; his fine eyes gleamed as was their wont eight years
ago, in the back-parlour in Boston Street, when he was telling tales
from Plutarch.

"Not," he said, in a low voice charged with feeling, "since I was
three years old.--You will think it strange, but I don't so much
long for the modern Italy, for the beautiful scenery and climate,
not even for the Italy of Raphael, or of Dante. I think most of
classical Italy. I am no scholar, but I love the Latin writers, and
can forget myself for hours, working through Livy or Tacitus. I want
to see the ruins of Rome; I want to see the Tiber, the Clitumnus,
the Aufidus, the Alban Hills, Lake Trasimenus,--a thousand places!
It is strange how those old times have taken hold upon me. The mere
names in Roman history make my blood warm.--And there is so little
chance that I shall ever be able to go there; so little chance."

Waymark had watched the glowing face with some surprise.

"Why, this is famous!" he exclaimed. "We shall suit each other
splendidly. Who knows? We may see Italy together, and look back upon
these times of miserable struggle. By the by, have you ever written
verses?"

Julian reddened, like a girl.

"I have tried to," he said.

"And do still?"

"Sometimes."

"I thought as much. Some day you shall let me hear them; won't you?
And I will read you some of my own. But mine are in the savage vein,
a mere railing against the universe, altogether too furious to be
anything like poetry; I know that well enough. I have long since
made up my mind to stick to prose; it is the true medium for a
polemical egotist. I want to find some new form of satire; I feel
capabilities that way which shall by no means rust unused. It has
pleased Heaven to give me a splenetic disposition, and some day or
other I shall find the tongue."

It was midnight before Julian rose to leave, and he was surprised
when he discovered how time had flown. Waymark insisted on his
guest's having some supper before setting out on his walk home; he
brought out of a cupboard a tin of Australian mutton, which, with
bread and pickles, afforded a very tolerable meal after four hours'
talk. They then left the house together, and Waymark accompanied his
friend as far as Westminster Bridge.

"It's too bad to have brought you so far at this hour," said Julian,
as they parted.

"Oh, it is my hour for walking," was the reply. "London streets at
night are my element. Depend upon it, Rome was poor in comparison!"

He went off laughing and waving his hand.





CHAPTER VII

BETWEEN OLD AND NEW




Julian Casti's uncle had been three years dead. It was well for him
that he lived no longer; his business had continued to dwindle, and
the last months of the poor man's life were embittered by the
prospect of inevitable bankruptcy. He died of an overdose of some
opiate, which the anguish of sleeplessness brought him into the
habit of taking. Suicide it might have been, yet that was scarcely
probable; he was too anxious on his daughter's account to abandon
her in this way, for certainly his death could be nothing to her
profit. Julian was then already eighteen, and quickly succeeded in
getting a situation. Harriet Smales left London, and went to live
with her sole relative, except Julian, an aunt who kept a
stationer's shop in Colchester. She was taught the business, and
assisted her aunt for more than two years, when, growing tired of
the life of a country town, she returned to London, and succeeded in
getting a place at a stationer's in Gray's Inn Road. This was six
months ago. Having thus established herself, she wrote to Julian,
and told him where she was.

Julian never forgot the promise he had made to his uncle that
Christmas night, eight years ago, when he was a lad of thirteen.
Harriet he had always regarded as his sister, and never yet had he
failed in brotherly duty to her. When the girl left Colchester, she
was on rather bad terms with her aunt, and the latter wrote to
Julian, saying that she knew nothing of Harriet's object in going to
London, but that it was certainly advisable that some friend should
be at hand, if possible, to give her advice; though advice (she went
on to say) was seldom acceptable to Harriet. This letter alarmed
Julian, as it was the first he had heard of his cousin's new step;
the letter from herself at the end of a week's time greatly relieved
him, and he went off as soon as possible to see her. He found her
living in the house where she was engaged, apparently with decent
people, and moderately contented; more than this could never be said
of the girl. Since then, he had seen her at least once every week.
Sometimes he visited her at the shop; when the weather was fine,
they spent the Sunday afternoon in walking together. Harriet's
health seemed to have improved since her return to town. Previously,
as in her childhood, she had always been more or less ailing. From
both father and mother she had inherited an unhealthy body; there
was a scrofulous tendency in her constitution, and the slightest
casual ill-health, a cold or any trifling accident, always
threatened her with serious results. She was of mind corresponding
to her body; restless, self-willed, discontented, sour-tempered,
querulous. She certainly used no special pains to hide these faults
from Julian, perhaps was not herself sufficiently conscious of them,
but the young man did not seem to be repelled by her imperfections;
he invariably treated her with gentle forbearance, pitied her
sufferings, did many a graceful little kindness in hope of pleasing
her.

The first interview between Julian and Waymark was followed by a
second a few days after, when it was agreed that they should spend
each Sunday evening together in Kennington; Julian had no room in
which he could well receive visitors. The next Sunday proved fine;
Julian planned to take Harriet for a walk in the afternoon, then,
after accompanying her home, to proceed to Walcot Square. As was
usual on these occasions, he was to meet his cousin at the Holborn
end of Gray's Inn Road, and, as also was the rule, Harriet came some
twenty minutes late. Julian was scrupulously punctual, and waiting
irritated him not a little, but he never allowed himself to show his
annoyance. There was always the same kind smile on his handsome
face, and the pressure of his hand was warm.

Harriet Smales was about a year younger than her cousin. Her dress
showed moderately good taste, with the usual fault of a desire to
imitate an elegance which she could not in reality afford. She wore
a black jacket, fur-trimmed, over a light grey dress; her black
straw hat had a few flowers in front. Her figure was good and her
movements graceful; she was nearly as tall as Julian. Her face,
however, could not be called attractive; it was hollow and of a
sickly hue, even the lips scarcely red. Grey eyes, beneath which
were dark circles, looked about with a quick, suspicious glance; the
eye-brows made almost a straight line. The nose was of a coarse
type, the lips heavy and indicative of ill-temper. The disagreeable
effect of these lineaments was heightened by a long scar over her
right temple; she evidently did her best to conceal it by letting
her hair come forward very much on each side, an arrangement in
itself unsuited to her countenance.

"I think I'm going to leave my place," was her first remark to-day,
as they turned to walk westward. She spoke in a dogged way with
which Julian was familiar enough, holding her eyes down, and, as she
walked, swinging her arms impatiently.

"I hope not," said her cousin, looking at her anxiously. "What has
happened?"

"Oh, I don't know; it's always the same; people treat you as if you
was so much dirt. I haven't been accustomed to it, and I don't see
why I should begin now. I can soon enough get a new shop."

"Has Mrs. Ogle been unkind to you?"

"Oh, I don't know, and I don't much care. You're expected to slave
just the same, day after day, whether you're feeling well or not."

This indirect and querulous mode of making known her grievances was
characteristic of the girl. Julian bore with it very patiently.

"Haven't you been feeling well?" he asked, with the same kindness.

"Well, no, I haven't. My head fairly splits now, and this sun isn't
likely to make it any better."

"Let us cross to the shady side."

"'Twon't make any difference; I can't run to get out of the way of
horses."

Julian was silent for a little.

"Why didn't you write to me in the week?" she asked presently. "I'm
sure it would be a relief to hear from somebody sometimes. It's like
a year from one Sunday to another."

"Did I promise to write? I really didn't remember having done so;
I'm very sorry. I might have told you about a new friend I've got."

Harriet looked sharply into his face. Julian had made no mention of
Waymark on the preceding Sunday; it had been a rainy day, and they
had only spent a few minutes together in the parlour which Mrs.
Ogle, the keeper of the shop, allowed them to use on these
occasions.

"What sort of a friend?" the girl inquired rather sourly.

"A very pleasant fellow, rather older than myself; I made his
acquaintance by chance."

Julian avoided reference to the real circumstances. He knew well the
difficulty of making Harriet understand them.

"We are going to see each other every Sunday," he went on.

"Then I suppose you'll give up coming for me?"

"Oh no, not at all. I shall see him at night always, after I have
left you."

"Where does he live?"

"Rather far off; in Kennington."

"What is he?"

"A teacher in a school. I hope to get good from being with him;
we're going to read together, and so on. I wish you could find some
pleasant companion of the same kind, Harriet; you wouldn't feel so
lonely."

"I dare say I'm better off without anybody. I shouldn't suit them.
It's very few people I do suit, or else people don't suit me, one or
the other. What's his name, your new friend's?"

"Waymark."

"And he lives in Kennington? Whereabouts?"

"In Walcot Square. I don't think you know that part, do you?"

"What number?"

Julian looked at her with some surprise. He found her eyes fixed
with penetrating observation upon his face. He mentioned the number,
and she evidently made a mental note of it. She was silent for some
minutes.

"I suppose you'll go out at nights with him?" was her next remark.

"It is scarcely likely. Where should we go to?"

"Oh, I don't know, and I don't suppose it matters much, to me."

"You seem vexed at this, Harriet. I'm very sorry. Really, it's the
first friend I've ever had. I've often felt the need of some such
companionship."

"I'm nobody?" she said, with a laugh, the first today.

Julian's face registered very perfectly the many subtle phases of
thought and emotion which succeeded each other in his mind. This
last remark distressed him for a moment; he could not bear to hurt
another's feelings.

"Of course I meant male friend," he said quickly. "You are my
sister."

"No, I'm not," was the reply; and, as she spoke, Harriet glanced
sideways at him in a particularly unpleasant manner. She herself
meant it to be pleasant.

"Oh yes, you are, Harriet," he insisted good-humouredly. "We've been
brother and sister ever since we can remember, haven't we?"

"But we aren't really, for all that," said the girl, looking away.
"Well, now you've got somebody else to take you up, I know very well
I shall see less of you. You'll be making excuses to get out of the
rides when the summer comes again."

"Pray don't say or think anything of the kind, Harriet," urged
Julian with feeling. "I should not think of letting anything put a
stop to our picnics. It will soon be getting warm enough to think of
the river, won't it? And then, if you would like it, there is no
reason why my friend shouldn't come with us, sometimes."

"Oh, nonsense! Why, you'd be ashamed to let him know me."

"Ashamed! How can you possibly think so? But you don't mean it; you
are joking."

"I'm sure I'm not. I should make mistakes in talking, and all sorts
of things. You don't think much of me, as it is, and that would make
you like me worse still."

She tossed her head nervously, and swung her arms with the awkward
restlessness which always denoted some strong feeling in her.

"Come, Harriet, this is too bad," Julian exclaimed, smiling. "Why, I
shall have to quarrel with you, to prove that we're good friends."

"I wish you _would_ quarrel with me sometimes," said the girl,
laughing in a forced way. "You take all my bad-temper always just in
the same quiet way. I'd far rather you fell out with me. It's
treating me too like a child, as if it didn't matter how I went on,
and I wasn't anything to you."

Of late, Harriet had been getting much into the habit of this
ambiguous kind of remark when in her cousin's company. Julian
noticed it, and it made him a trifle uneasy. He attributed it,
however, to the girl's strangely irritable disposition, and never
failed to meet such outbreaks with increased warmth and kindness of
tone. To-day, Harriet's vagaries seemed to affect him somewhat
unusually. He became silent at times, and then tried to laugh away
the unpleasantness, but the laughter was not exactly spontaneous. At
length he brought back the conversation to the point from which it
had started, and asked if she had any serious intention of leaving
Mrs. Ogle.

"I'm tired of being ordered about by people!" Harriet exclaimed. "I
know I sha'n't put up with it much longer. I only wish I'd a few
pounds to start a shop for myself."

"I heartily wish I had the money to give you," was Julian's reply.

"Don't you save anything at all?" asked his cousin, with affected
indifference.

"A little; very little. At all events, I think we shall be able to
have our week at the seaside when the time comes. Have you thought
where you'd like to go to?"

"No; I haven't thought anything about it. What time shall you get
back home to-night?"

"Rather late, I dare say. We sit talking and forget the time. It may
be after twelve o'clock."

Harriet became silent again. They reached Hyde Park, and joined the
crowds of people going in all directions about the walks. Harriet
had always a number of ill-natured comments to make on the dress and
general appearance of people they passed. Julian smiled, but with no
genuine pleasure. As always, he did his best to lead the girl's
thoughts away from their incessant object, hers, elf.

They were back again at the end of Gray's Inn Road by half-past
four.

"Well, I won't keep you," said Harriet, with the sour smile. "I know
you're in a hurry to be off. Are you going to walk?"

"Yes; I can do it in about an hour."

The girl turned away without further leave-taking, and Julian walked
southwards with a troubled face.

Waymark expected him to tea. At this, their third meeting, the two
were already on very easy terms. Waymark did the greater share of
the talking, for Julian was naturally of fewer words; from the
beginning it was clear that the elder of the friends would have the
initiative in most things. Waymark unconsciously displayed something
of that egoism which is inseparable from force of character, and to
the other this was far from disagreeable; Julian liked the novel
sensation of having a strong nature to rely upon. Already he was
being led by his natural tendency to hero-worship into a fervid
admiration for his friend.

"What have you' been doing with yourself this fine day?" Waymark
asked, as they sat down to table.

"I always spend Sunday afternoon with a cousin of mine," replied
Julian, with the unhesitating frankness which was natural to him.

"Male or female?"

"Female." There was a touch of colour on his face as he met the
other's eye, and he continued rather quickly. "We lived together
always as children, and were only separated at my uncle's death,
three years ago. She is engaged at a stationer's shop."

"What is a fellow to do to get money?" Waymark exclaimed, when his
pipe was well alight. "I'm growing sick of this hand-to-mouth
existence. Now if one had a bare competency, what glorious
possibilities would open out. The vulgar saying has it that 'time is
money;' like most vulgar sayings putting the thing just the wrong
way about. 'Money is time,' I prefer to say; it means leisure, and
all that follows. Why don't you write a poem on Money, Casti? I
almost feel capable of it myself. what can claim precedence, in all
this world, over hard cash? It is the fruitful soil wherein is
nourished the root of the tree of life; it is the vivifying
principle of human activity. Upon it luxuriate art, letters,
science; rob them of its sustenance, and they droop like withering
leaves. Money means virtue; the lack of it is vice. The devil loves
no lurking-place like an empty purse. Give me a thousand pounds
to-morrow, and I become the most virtuous man in England. I satisfy
all my instincts freely, openly, with no petty makeshifts and vile
hypocrisies. To scorn and revile wealth is the mere resource of
splenetic poverty. What cannot be purchased with coin of the realm?
First and foremost, freedom. The moneyed man is the sole king; the
herds of the penniless are but as slaves before his footstool. He
breathes with a sense of proprietorship in the whole
globe-enveloping atmosphere; for is it not in his power to inhale it
wheresoever he pleases? He puts his hand in his pocket, and bids
with security for every joy of body and mind; even death he faces
with the comforting consciousness that his defeat will only coincide
with that of human science. He buys culture, he buys peace of mind,
he buys love.--You think not! I don't use the word cynically, but
in very virtuous earnest. Make me a millionaire, and I will purchase
the passionate devotion of any free-hearted woman the world
contains!"

Waymark's pipe had gone out; he re-lit it, with the half-mocking
smile which always followed upon any more vehement utterance.

"That I am poor," he went on presently, "is the result of my own
pigheadedness. My father was a stock-broker, in anything but
flourishing circumstances. He went in for some cursed foreign loan
or other,--I know nothing of such things,--and ruined himself
completely. He had to take a subordinate position, and died in it. I
was about seventeen then, and found myself alone in the world. A
friend of my father's, also a city man, Woodstock by name, was left
my guardian. He wanted me to begin a business career, and, like a
fool, I wouldn't hear of it. Mr. Woodstock and I quarrelled; he
showed himself worthy of his name, and told me plainly that, if I
didn't choose to take his advice, I must shift for myself. That I
professed myself perfectly ready to do; I was bent on an
intellectual life, forsooth; couldn't see that the natural order of
things was to make money first and be intellectual afterwards. So,
lad as I was, I got a place as a teacher, and that's been my
business ever since."

Waymark threw himself back and laughed carelessly. He strummed a
little with his fingers on the arm of the chair, and resumed:

"I interested myself in religion and philosophy; I became an
aggressive disciple of free-thought, as it is called. Radicalism of
every kind broke out in me, like an ailment. I bought cheap
free-thought literature; to one or two papers of the kind I even
contributed. I keep these effusions carefully locked up, for
salutary self-humiliation at some future day, when I shall have
grown conceited. Nay, I went further. I delivered lectures at
working-men's clubs, lectures with violent titles. One, I remember,
was called 'The Gospel of Rationalism.' And I was enthusiastic in
the cause, with an enthusiasm such as I shall never experience
again. Can I imagine myself writing and speaking such things
now-a-days? Scarcely: yet the spirit remains, it is only the
manifestations which have changed. I am by nature combative; I feel
the need of attacking the cherished prejudices of society; I have a
joy in outraging what are called the proprieties. And I wait for my
opportunity, which has yet to come."

"How commonplace my life has been, in comparison," said Julian,
after an interval of thoughtfulness.

"Your nature, I believe, is very pure, and therefore very happy. _I_
am what Browning somewhere calls a 'beast with a speckled hide,' and
happiness, I take it, I shall never know."

Julian could begin to see that his friend took something of a
pleasure in showing and dwelling upon the worst side of his own
character.

"You will be happy," he said, "when you once find your true work,
and feel that you are doing it well."

"But the motives, the motives!--Never mind, I've talked enough of
myself for one sitting. Don't think I've told you everything. Plenty
more confessions to come, when time and place shall serve. Little by
little you will get to know me, and by then will most likely have
had enough of me."

"That is not at all likely; rather the opposite."

When they left the house together, shortly after eleven, Julian's
eye fell upon the dark figure of a girl, standing by a gas-lamp on
the opposite side of the way. The figure held his gaze. Waymark
moved on, and he had to follow, but still looked back. The girl had
a veil half down upon her face; she was gazing after the two. She
moved, and the resemblance to Harriet was so striking that Julian
again stopped. As he did so, the figure turned away, and walked in
the opposite direction, till it was lost in the darkness.

Julian went on, and for a time was very silent.





CHAPTER VIII

ACADEMICAL




The school in which Osmond Waymark taught was situated in "a
pleasant suburb of southern London" (Brixton, to wit); had its
"spacious playground and gymnasium" (the former a tolerable
back-yard, the latter a disused coach-house); and, as to educational
features, offered, at the choice of parents and guardians, either
the solid foundation desirable for those youths predestined to a
commercial career, or the more liberal training adapted to minds of
a professional bias. Anything further in the way of information was
to be obtained by applying to the headmaster, Dr. Tootle.

At present the number of resident pupils was something under forty.
The marvel was how so many could be accommodated in so small a
house. Two fair-sized bedrooms, and a garret in which the servants
could not be persuaded to sleep, served as dormitories for the whole
school; the younger children sleeping two together.

Waymark did not reside on the premises. For a stipulated sum of
thirteen pounds per quarter he taught daily from nine till five,
with an interval of an hour and a half at dinner-time, when he
walked home to Walcot Square for such meal as the state of his
exchequer would allow. Waymark occupied a prominent place in Dr.
Tootle's prospectus. As Osmond Waymark, B.A.,--the degree was a
_bona fide_ one, of London University,--he filled the
position of Senior Classical Master; anonymously he figured as a
teacher of drawing and lecturer on experimental chemistry. The other
two masters, resident, were Mr. O'Gree and Herr Egger; the former,
teacher of mathematics, assistant classical master, and professor of
gymnastics; the latter, teacher of foreign languages, of music, and
of dancing. Dr. Tootle took upon himself the English branches, and,
of course, the arduous duty of general superintendence. He was a
very tall, thin, cadaverous, bald-headed man. Somehow or other he
had the reputation of having, at an earlier stage in his career,
grievously over-exerted his brain in literary labour; parents were
found, on the whole, ready to accept this fact as an incontestable
proof of the doctor's fitness to fill his present office, though it
resulted in entire weeks of retreat from the school-room under the
excuse of fearful headaches. The only known product of the literary
toil which had had such sad results was a very small English
Grammar, of course used in the school, and always referred to by the
doctor as "my little compendium."

Now and then, Waymark sought refuge from the loneliness of his room
in a visit to his colleagues at the Academy. The masters'
sitting-room was not remarkable for cosiness, even when a fire burnt
in the grate and the world of school was for the time shut out. The
floor was uncarpeted, the walls illustrated only with a few maps and
diagrams. There was a piano, whereon Herr Egger gave his music
lessons. Few rooms in existence could have excelled this for
draughts; at all times there came beneath the door a current of wind
which pierced the legs like a knife; impossible to leave loose
papers anywhere with a chance of finding them in the same place two
minutes after.

When Waymark entered this evening, he found his colleagues seated
together in silence. Mr. Philip Q'Gree--"fill-up" was his own
pronunciation of the name--would have been worse than
insignificant in appearance, but for the expression of good-humour
and geniality which possessed his irregular features. He was
red-headed, and had large red whiskers.

Herr Egger was a gentleman of very different exterior. Tall, thick,
ungainly, with a very heavy, stupid face, coarse hands, outrageous
lower extremities. A mass of coal-black hair seemed to weigh down
his head. His attire was un-English, and, one might suspect, had
been manufactured in some lonely cottage away in the remote Swiss
valley which had till lately been the poor fellow's home. Dr. Tootle
never kept his foreign masters long. His plan was to get hold of
some foreigner without means, and ignorant of English, who would
come and teach French or German in return for mere board and
lodging; when the man had learnt a little English, and was in a
position to demand a salary, he was dismissed, and a new professor
obtained. Egger had lately, under the influence of some desperate
delusion, come to our hospitable clime in search of his fortune. Of
languages he could not be said to know any; his French and his
German were of barbarisms all compact; English as yet he could use
only in a most primitive manner. He must have been the most unhappy
man in all London. Finding himself face to face with large classes
of youngsters accustomed to no kind of discipline, in whom every
word he uttered merely excited outrageous mirth, he was hourly
brought to the very verge of despair. Constitutionally he was
lachrymose; tears came from him freely when distress had reached a
climax, and the contrast between his unwieldy form and this weakness
of demeanour supplied inexhaustible occasion for mirth throughout
the school. His hours of freedom were spent in abysmal brooding.

Waymark entered in good spirits. At the sight of him, Mr. O'Gree
started from the fireside, snatched up the poker, brandished it
wildly about his head, and burst into vehement exclamations.

"Ha! ha! you've come in time, sir; you've come in time to hear my
resolution. I can't stand ut any longer; I won't stand ut a day
longer! Mr. Waymark, you're a witness of the outrageous way in which
I'm treated in this academy--the way in which I'm treated both by
Dr. Tootle and by Mrs. Tootle. You were witness of his insulting
behaviour this very afternoon. He openly takes the side of the boys
against me; he ridicules my accent; he treats me as no gentleman can
treat another, unless one of them's no gentleman at all! And, Mr.
Waymark, I won't stand ut!"

Mr. O'Gree's accent was very strong indeed, especially in his
present mood. Waymark listened with what gravity he could command.

"You're quite right," he said in reply. "Tootle's behaviour was
especially scandalous to-day. I should certainly take some kind of
notice of it."

"Notuss, sir, notuss! I'll take that amount of notuss of it that all
the metropoluss shall hear of my wrongs. I'll assault 'um, sir; I'll
assault 'um in the face of the school,--the very next time he
dares to provoke me! I'll rise in my might, and smite his bald crown
with his own ruler! I'm not a tall man, Mr. Waymark, but I can reach
his crown, and that he shall be aware of before he knows ut. He sets
me at naught in my own class, sir; he pooh-poohs my mathematical
demonstrations, sir; he encourages my pupils in insubordination! And
Mrs. Tootle! Bedad, if I don't invent some device for revenging
myself on that supercilious woman. The very next time she presumes
to address me disrespectfully at the dinner-table, sir, I'll rise in
my might, sir,--see if I don't!--and I'll say to her, 'Mrs.
Tootle, ma'am, you seem to forget that I'm a gentleman, and have a
gentleman's susceptibilities. When I treat _you_ with disrespect,
ma'am, pray tell me of ut, and I'll inform you you speak an
untruth!'"

Waymark smiled, with the result that the expression of furious wrath
immediately passed from his colleague's countenance, giving place to
a broad grin.

"Waymark, look here!" exclaimed the Irishman, snatching up a piece
of chalk, and proceeding to draw certain outlines upon a
black-board. "Here's Tootle, a veritable Goliath;--here's me, as
it were David. Observe; Tootle holds in his hand his 'little
compendium,' raised in haughty superciliousness. Observe me with the
ruler!--I am on tiptoe; I am taking aim; there is wrath in every
sinew of my arrum! My arrum descends on the very centre of Tootle's
bald pate--"

"Mr. O'Gree!"

The tableau was most effective. Unnoticed by either the Irishman or
Waymark, the door had opened behind them, and there had appeared a
little red-faced woman, in slatternly dress. It was Mrs. Tootle. She
had overheard almost the whole of O'Gree's vivid comment upon his
graphic illustration, in silence, until at length she could hold her
peace no longer, and gave utterance to the teacher's name in a voice
which trembled with rage and mortification.

"Mr. O'Gree! Are you aware of my presence, sir?"

The chalk dropped from O'Gree's fingers, but otherwise his attitude
remained unaltered; struck motionless with horror, he stood pointing
to the drawing on the board, his face pale, his eyes fascinated by
those of Mrs. Tootle. The latter went on in a high note.

"Well, sir, as soon as you have had enough of your insulting
buffoonery, perhaps you will have the goodness to attend to me, and
to your duty! What do you mean by allowing the dormitories to get
into this state of uproar? There's been a pillow-fight going on for
the last half-hour, and you pay no sort of attention; the very house
is shaking?"

"I protest I had not heard a sound, ma'am, or I should have--"

"Perhaps you hear nothing now, sir,--and the doctor suffering from
one of his very worst headaches, utterly unable to rest even if the
house were perfectly quiet!"

O'Gree darted to the door, past Mrs. Tootle, and was lost to sight.
There was indeed a desperate uproar in the higher regions of the
house. In a moment the noise increased considerably. O'Gree had
rushed up without a light, and was battling desperately in the
darkness with a score of pillow-fighters, roaring out threats the
while at the top of his voice. Mrs. Tootle retired from the masters'
room with much affectation of dignity, leaving the door open behind
her.

Waymark slammed it to, and turned with a laugh to the poor Swiss.

"In low spirits to-night, I'm afraid, Mr. Egger?"

Egger let his chair tilt forward, rose slowly, drew a yellow
handkerchief from his mouth and wiped his eyes with it, then
exclaimed, in the most pitiful voice--

"Mr. Waymark, I have made my possible!--I can no more!"

It was his regular phrase on these occasions; Waymark had always
much ado to refrain from laughter when he heard it repeated, but he
did his best to be seriously sympathetic, and to attempt consolation
in such German as was at his command. Egger's despondency only
increased, and he wept afresh to hear accents which were
intelligible to him. Mr. O'Gree re-entered the room, and the Swiss
retired to his comer.

Philip was hot with excitement and bodily exertion; he came in
mopping his forehead, and, without turning to Waymark, stood with
eyes fixed on the chalk caricatures. Very gradually he turned round.
Waymark was watching him, on his face an expression of subdued
mirth. Their looks met, and both exploded in laughter.

"Bedad, my boy," exclaimed O'Gree, "I'm devilish sorry! I wouldn't
have had it happen for a quarter's salary,--though I sadly need a
new pair of breeches. She's a supercilious cat-o-mountain, and she
loses no opportunity of insulting me, but after all she's a woman."

"By-the-by, Waymark," he added in a moment, "what a stunner the new
governess is! You're a lucky dog, to sit in the same room with her.
What's her name, I say?"

"Miss Enderby. You've seen her, have you?"

"I caught a glimpse of her as she came downstairs; it was quite
enough; she floored me. She's never been out of my thoughts for a
minute since I saw her. 'I love her, I love her, and who shall dare,
to chide me for loving that teacher fair!'"

"Well, yes," said Waymark, "she has a tolerable face; seems to me a
long way too good to be teaching those unlicked cubs. The dragon
wasn't too civil to her, though it was the first day."

"Not civil to her? If I were present, and heard that woman breathe
the slight eat incivility, I'd--"

He broke off in the midst of his vehemence with a startled look
towards the door.

"Mr. Egger," he exclaimed, "a song; I beg, a song. Come, I'll lead
off.

'Miss Enderby hath a beaming eye'--

Bah! I'm not in voice to-night."

Egger was persuaded to sit down to the piano. It was a mournful
instrument, reduced to discordant wheeziness by five-finger
exercises, but the touch of the Swiss could still evoke from it some
kind of harmony. He sang a Volkslied, and in a way which showed that
there was poetry in the man's nature, though his outward appearance
gave so little promise of it. His voice was very fair, and well
suited to express the tender pathos of these inimitable melodies.
Waymark always enjoyed this singing; his eyes brightened, and a fine
emotion played about his lips. And as he walked along the dark ways
to his lodgings, Egger's voice was still in his ears--

"_Der Mensch wenn er fortgeht, der kommt nimmermefr_."

"Heaven be thanked, no!" the young man said to himself.

Poverty was his familiar companion, and had been so for years. His
rent paid each week, there often remained a sum quite insufficient
for the absolute necessities of existence; for anything more, he had
to look to chance pupils in the evenings, and what little he could
earn with his pen. He wrote constantly, but as yet had only
succeeded in getting two articles printed. Then, it was a necessity
of his existence to mix from time to time in the life of the town,
and a stroll into the Strand after nightfall inevitably led to the
expenditure of whatever cash his pocket contained. He was
passionately found of the theatre; the lights about the open
entrance drew him on irresistibly, and if, as so often, he had to
choose between a meal and a seat in the gallery, the meal was
sacrificed. Hunger, indeed, was his normal state; semi-starvation,
alternating with surfeits of cheap and unwholesome food, brought
about an unhealthy condition of body. Often he returned to Walcot
Square from his day-long drudgery, and threw himself upon the bed,
too exhausted to light a fire and make his tea,--for he was his
own servant in all things except the weekly cleaning-out of the
room. Those were dark hours, and they had to be struggled through in
solitude.

Weary as he was he seldom went to bed before midnight, sometimes
long after, for he clung to those few hours of freedom with
something like savage obstinacy; during this small portion of each
day at least, he would possess his own soul, be free to think and
read. Then came the penalty of anguish unutterable when the morning
had to be faced. These dark, foggy February mornings crushed him
with a recurring misery which often drove him to the verge of mania.
His head throbbing with the torture of insufficient sleep, he lay in
dull half-conscious misery till there was no longer time to prepare
breakfast, and he had to hasten off to school after a mouthful of
dry bread which choked him. There had been moments when his strength
failed, and he found his eyes filling with tears of wretchedness. To
face the hideous drudgery of the day's teaching often cost him more
than it had cost many men to face the scaffold. The hours between
nine and one, the hours between half-past two and five, Waymark
cursed them minute by minute, as their awful length was measured by
the crawling hands of the school-clock. He tried sometimes, in mere
self-defence, to force himself into an interest in his work, that
the time might go the quicker; but the effort was miserably vain.
His senses reeled amid the din and rattle of classes where
discipline was unknown and intelligence almost indiscoverable. Not
seldom his temper got the better even of sick lassitude; his face at
such times paled with passion, and in ungoverned fury he raved at
his tormentors. He awed them, too, but only for the moment, and the
waste of misery swallowed him up once more.

Was this to be his life?--he asked himself. Would this last for
ever?

For some reason, the morning after the visit to the masters' room
just spoken of found him in rather better spirits than usual.
Perhaps it was that he had slept fairly well; a gleam of unwonted
sunshine had doubtless something to do with it. Yet there was
another reason, though he would scarcely admit it to himself. It was
the day on which he gave a drawing-lesson to Dr. Tootle's two eldest
children. These drawing-lessons were always given in a room
upstairs, which was also appropriated to the governess who came
every morning to teach three other young Tootles, two girls and a
boy, the latter considered not yet old enough to go into the school.
On the previous day, Waymark had been engaged in the room for half
an hour touching up some drawings of boys in the school, which were
about to be sent home. He knew that he should find a fresh governess
busy with the children, the lady hitherto employed having gone at a
moment's notice after a violent quarrel with Mrs. Tootle, an
incident which had happened not infrequently before. When he entered
the room, he saw a young woman seated with her back to him, penning
a copy, whilst the children jumped and rioted about her in their
usual fashion. The late governess had been a mature person of
features rather serviceable than handsome; that her successor was of
a different type appeared sufficiently from the fair round head, the
gracefully handed neck, the perfect shoulders, the slight, beautiful
form. Waymark took his place and waited with some curiosity till she
moved. When she did so, and, rising, suddenly became aware of his
presence, there was a little start on both sides; Miss Enderby--so
Waymark soon heard her called by the pupils--had not been aware,
owing to the noise, of a stranger's entrance, and Waymark on his
side was so struck with the face presented to him. He had expected,
at the most, a pretty girl of the commonplace kind: he saw a
countenance in which refinement was as conspicuous as beauty. She
was probably not more than eighteen or nineteen. In speaking with
the children she rarely if ever smiled, but exhibited a gentle
forbearance which had something touching in it; it was almost as
though she appealed for gentleness in return, and feared a harsh
word or look.

"That's Mr. Waymark," cried out Master Percy Tootle, when his
overquick eyes perceived that the two had seen each other. "He's our
drawing-master. Do you like the look of him?"

Miss Enderby reddened, and laid her hand on the boy's arm, trying to
direct his attention to a book. But the youngster shook off her
gentle touch, and looked at his brothers and sisters with a much too
knowing grin. Waymark had contented himself with a slight bow, and
at once bent again over his work.

Very shortly the two eldest children, both girls, came in, and with
them their mother. The latter paid no attention to Waymark, but
proceeded to cross-examine the new governess as to her methods of
teaching, her experience, and so on, in the coarse and loud manner
which characterised Mrs. Tootle.

"You'll find my children clever," said Mrs. Tootle, "at least, that
has been the opinion of all their teachers hitherto. If they don't
make progress, it certainly will not be their own fault. At the same
time, they are high-spirited, and require to be discreetly managed.
This, as I previously informed you, must be done without the help of
punishment in any shape; I disapprove of those methods altogether.
Now let me hear you give them a lesson in geography."

Waymark retired at this juncture; he felt that it would be nothing
less than cruelty to remain. The episode, however, had lightened his
day with an interest of a very unusual kind. And so it was that, on
the following morning, not only the gleam of watery sunshine, but
also the thought of an hour to be spent in the presence of that
timid face, brought him on his way to the school with an unwonted
resignation. Unfortunately his drawing lessons were only given on
two mornings in the week. Still, there would be something in future
to look forward to, a novel sensation at The Academy.





CHAPTER IX

THE COUSINS




Harriet Smales had left home in a bad temper that Sunday afternoon,
and when she came back to tea, after her walk with Julian, her state
of mind did not appear to have undergone any improvement. She took
her place at the tea-table in silence. She and Mrs. Ogle were alone
this evening; the latter's husband--he was a journeyman printer,
and left entirely in his wife's hands the management of the shop in
Gray's Inn Road--happened to be away. Mrs. Ogle was a decent,
cheerful woman, of motherly appearance. She made one or two attempts
to engage Harriet in conversation, but, failing, subsided into
silence, only looking askance at the girl from time to time. When
she had finished her tea and bread-and-butter, Harriet coughed, and,
without facing her companion, spoke in rather a cold way.

"I may be late back to-night, Mrs. Ogle. You won't lock the door?"

"I sha'n't go to bed till eleven myself," was the reply.

"But it may be after twelve when I get back."

"Where are you going to, Harriet?"

"If you must know always, Mrs. Ogle, I'm going to see my friend in
Westminster."

"Well, it ain't no business of mine, my girl," returned the woman,
not unkindly, "but I think it's only right I should have some idea
where you spend your nights. As long as you live in my house, I'm
responsible for you, in a way."

"I don't want any one to be responsible for me, Mrs. Ogle."

"Maybe not, my girl. But young people ain't always the best judges
of what's good for them, and what isn't. I don't think your cousin
'ud approve of your being out so late. I shall sit up for you, and
you mustn't be after twelve."

It was said very decidedly. Harriet made no reply, but speedily
dressed and went out. She took an omnibus eastward, and sought a
neighbourhood which most decently dressed people would have been
chary of entering after nightfall, or indeed at any other time,
unless compelled to do so. The girl found the object of her walk in
a dirty little public-house at the corner of two foul and narrow
by-ways. She entered by a private door, and passed into a parlour,
which was behind the bar.

A woman was sitting in the room, beguiling her leisure with a Sunday
paper. She was dressed with vulgar showiness, and made a lavish
display of jewellery, more or less valuable. Eight years ago she was
a servant in Mr. Smales's house, and her name was Sarah. She had
married in the meanwhile, and become Mrs. Sprowl.

She welcomed her visitor with a friendly nod, but did not rise.

"I thought it likely you'd look in, as you missed larst week. How's
things goin' in your part o' the world?"

"Very badly," returned Harriet, throwing off her hat and cloak, and
going to warm her hands and feet at the fire. "It won't last much
longer, that's the truth of it."

"Eh well, it's all in a life; we all has our little trials an'
troubles, as the sayin' is."

"How's the baby?" asked Harriet looking towards a bundle of wrappers
which lay on a sofa.

"I doubt it's too good for this world," returned the mother,
grinning in a way which made her ugly face peculiarly revolting.
"Dessay it'll join its little brother an' sister before long. Mike
put it in the club yes'day."

The burial-club, Mrs. Sprowl meant, and Harriet evidently understood
the allusion.

"Have you walked?" went on the woman, doubling up her paper, and
then throwing it aside. "Dessay you could do with somethin' to take
the cold orff yer chest.--Liz," she called out to some one behind
the bar, with which the parlour communicated by an open door; "two
Irish!"

The liquor was brought. Presently some one called to Mrs. Sprowl,
who went out. Leaning on the counter, in one of the compartments,
was something which a philanthropist might perhaps have had the
courage to claim as a human being; a very tall creature, with bent
shoulders, and head seeming to grow straight out of its chest;
thick, grizzled hair hiding almost every vestige of feature, with
the exception of one dreadful red eye, its fellow being dead and
sightless. He had laid on the counter, with palms downward as if
concealing something, two huge hairy paws. Mrs. Sprowl seemed
familiar with the appearance of this monster; she addressed him
rather bad-temperedly, but otherwise much as she would have spoken
to any other customer.

"No, you don't, Slimy! No, you don't! What you have in this house
you pay for in coppers, so you know. Next time I catch you tryin' to
ring the changes, I'll have you run in, and then you'll get a warm
bath, which you wouldn't partic'lar care for."

The creature spoke, in hoarse, jumbled words, not easy to catch
unless you listened closely.

"If you've any accusion to make agin me, Mrs. Sprowl, p'r'aps you'll
wait till you can prove it. I want change for arf a suvrin: ain't
that straight, now?"

"Straight or not, you won't get no change over this counter, so
there you've the straight tip. Now sling yer 'ook, Slimy, an' get it
somewhere else."

"If you've any accusion to make--"

"Hold yer noise!--What's he ordered, Liz?"

"Pot o' old six," answered the girl.

"Got sixpence, Slimy?"

"No, I ain't, Mrs. Sprowl," muttered the creature. "I've got arf a
suvrin."

"Then go an' get change for it. Now, once more, sling yer 'ook."

The man moved away, sending back a horrible glare from his one fiery
eyeball.

Mrs. Sprowl re-entered the parlour.

"I wish you'd take me on as barmaid, Sarah," Harriet said, when she
had drunk her glass of spirits.

"Take you on?" exclaimed the other, with surprise. "Why, have you
fallen out with your cousin? I thought you was goin' to be married
soon."

"I didn't say for sure that I was; I only said I might be. Any way
it won't be just yet, and I'm tired of my place in the shop."

"Don't you be a fool, Harriet," said the other, with genial
frankness. "You're well enough off. You stick where you are till you
get married. You wouldn't make nothin' at our business; 'tain't all
sugar an' lemon, an' sittin' drinkin' twos o' whisky till further
orders. You want a quiet, easy business, you do, an' you've got it.
If you keep worritin' yerself this way, you won't never make old
bones, an' that's the truth. You wait a bit, an' give yer cousin a
chance to arst you,--if that's what you're troublin' about"

"I've given him lots o' chances," said Harriet peevishly.

"Eh well, give him lots more, an' it'll all come right. We're all
born, but we're not buried.--Hev' another Irish?"

Harriet allowed herself to be persuaded to take another glass.

When the clock pointed to half-past nine, she rose and prepared to
depart. She had told Mrs. Sprowl that she would take the 'bus and go
straight home; but something seemed to have led her to alter her
purpose, for she made her way to Westminster Bridge, and crossed the
river. Then she made some inquiries of a policeman, and, in
consequence, got into a Kennington omnibus. Very shortly she was set
down close by Walcot Square. She walked about till, with some
difficulty in the darkness, she had discovered the number at which
Julian had told her his friend lived. The house found, she began to
pace up and down on the opposite pavement, always keeping her eyes
fixed on the same door. She was soon shivering in the cold night
air, and quickened her walk. It was rather more than an hour before
the door she was watching at length opened, and two friends came out
together. Harriet followed them as closely as she could, until she
saw that she herself was observed. Thereupon she walked away, and,
by a circuit, ultimately came back into the main road, where she
took a 'bus going northwards.

Harriet's cousin, when alone of an evening, sat in his bedroom, the
world shut out, his thoughts in long past times, rebuilding the
ruins of a fallen Empire.

When he was eighteen, the lad had the good luck to light upon a
cheap copy of Gibbon in a second-hand book-shop. It was the first
edition; six noble quarto volumes, clean and firm in the old
bindings. Often he had turned longing eyes upon newer copies of the
great book, but the price had always put them beyond his reach. That
very night he solemnly laid open the first volume at the first page,
propping it on a couple of meaner books, and, after glancing through
the short Preface, began to read with a mind as devoutly disposed as
that of any pious believer poring upon his Bible. "In the second
century of the Christian AEra, the empire of Rome comprehended
the fairest part of the earth, and the most civilised portion of
mankind. The frontiers of that extensive monarchy were guarded by
ancient renown and disciplined valour." With what a grand epic roll,
with what anticipations of solemn music, did the noble history
begin! Far, far into the night Julian turned over page after page,
thoughtless of sleep and the commonplace duties of the morrow.

Since then he had mastered his Gibbon, knew him from end to end, and
joyed in him more than ever. Whenever he had a chance of obtaining
any of the writers, ancient or modern, to whom Gibbon refers, he
read them and added to his knowledge. About a year ago, he had
picked up an old Claudian, and the reading of the poet had settled
him to a task which he had before that doubtfully sought. He wanted
to write either a poem or a drama on some subject taken from the
"Decline and Fall," and now, with Claudian's help, he fixed upon
Stilicho for his hero. The form, he then decided, should be
dramatic. Upon "Stilicho" he had now been engaged for a year, and
to-night he is writing the last words of the last scene. Shortly
after twelve he has finished it, and, throwing down his pen, he
paces about the room with enviable feelings.

He had not as yet mentioned to Waymark the work he was engaged upon,
though he had confessed that he wrote verses at times. He wished to
complete it, and then read it to his friend. It was now only the
middle of the week, and though he had decided previously to wait
till his visit to Walcot Square next Sunday before saying a word
about "Stilicho," he could not refrain now from hastily penning a
note to Waymark, and going out to post it at once.

When the day came, the weather would not allow the usual walk with
Harriet, and Julian could not help feeling glad that it was so. He
was too pre-occupied to talk in the usual way with the girl, and he
knew how vain it would be to try and make her understand his state
of mind. Still, he went to see her as usual, and sat for an hour in
Mrs. Ogle's parlour. At times, throughout the week, he had thought
of the curious resemblance between Harriet and the girl he had
noticed on leaving Waymark's house last Sunday, and now he asked
her, in a half-jesting way, whether it had really been she.

"How could it be?" said Harriet carelessly. "I can't be in two
places at once."

"Did you stay at home that evening?"

"No,--not all the evening."

"What friends are they you go to, when you are out at night,
Harriet?"

"Oh, some relations of the Colchester people.--I suppose you've
been spending most of your time in Kennington since Sunday?"

"I haven't left home. In fact, I've been very busy. I've just
finished some work that has occupied me for nearly a year."

After all, he could not refrain from speaking of it, though he had
made up his mind not to do so.

"Work? What work?" asked Harriet, with the suspicious look which
came into her grey eyes whenever she heard something she could not
understand.

"Some writing. I've written a play."

"A play? Will it be acted?"

"Oh no, it isn't meant for acting."

"What's the good of it then?"

"It's written in verse. I shall perhaps try to get it published."

"Shall you get money for it?"

"That is scarcely likely. In all probability I shall not be able to
get it printed at all."

"Then what's the good of it?" repeated Harriet, still suspicious,
and a little contemptuous.

"It has given me pleasure, that's all."

Julian was glad when at length he could take his leave. Waymark
received him with a pleased smile, and much questioning.

"Why did you keep it such a secret? I shall try my hand at a play
some day or other, but, as you can guess, the material will scarcely
be sought in Gibbon. It will be desperately modern, and possibly not
altogether in accordance with the views of the Lord Chamberlain.
What's the time? Four o'clock. We'll have a cup of coffee and then
fall to. I'm eager to hear your 'deep-chested music,' your 'hollow
oes and aes.'"

The reading took some three hours; Waymark smoked a vast number of
pipes the while, and was silent till the close. Then he got up from
his easy-chair, took a step forward, and held out his hand. His face
shone with the frankest enthusiasm. He could not express himself
with sufficient vehemence. Julian sat with the manuscript rolled up
in his hands, on his face a glow of delight.

"It's very kind of you to speak in this way," he faltered at length.

"Kind! How the deuce should I speak? But come, we will have this off
to a publisher's forth with. Have you any ideas for the next work?"

"Yes; but so daring that they hardly bear putting into words."

"Try the effect on me."

"I have thought," said Julian, with embarrassment, "of a long poem
--an Epic. Virgil wrote of the founding of Rome; her dissolution is
as grand a subject. It would mean years of preparation, and again
years in the writing. The siege and capture of Rome by Alaric--
what do you think?"

"A work not to be raised from the heat of youth, or the vapours of
wine. But who knows?"

There was high talk in Walcot Square that evening. All unknown to
its other inhabitants, the poor lodging-house was converted into a
temple of the Muses, and harmonies as from Apollo's lyre throbbed in
the hearts of the two friends. The future was their inexhaustible
subject, the seed-plot of strange hopes and desires. They talked the
night into morning, hardly daunted when perforce they remembered the
day's work.





CHAPTER X

THE WAY OUT




The ruling spirit of the Academy was Mrs. Tootle. Her husband's
constitutional headache, and yet more constitutional laziness, left
to her almost exclusively the congenial task of guiding the
household, and even of disciplining the school. In lesson-time she
would even flit about the classrooms, and not scruple to administer
sharp rebukes to a teacher whose pupils were disorderly, the effect
of this naturally being to make confusion worse confounded. The boys
of course hated her with the hatred of which schoolboys alone are
capable, and many a practical joke was played at her expense, not,
however, with impunity. Still more pronounced, if possible, was the
animus entertained against Mrs. Tootle's offspring, and it was upon
the head of Master Felix that the full energy of detestation
concentrated itself. He was, in truth, as offensive a young imp as
the soil of a middle-class boarding-school could well produce. If
Mrs. Tootle ruled the Academy, he in turn ruled Mrs. Tootle, and on
all occasions showed himself a most exemplary autocrat. his
position, however, as in the case of certain other autocratic
rulers, had its disadvantages; he could never venture to wander out
of earshot of his father or mother, who formed his body-guard, and
the utmost prudence did not suffice to protect him from an
occasional punch on the head, or a nip in a tender part, meant
probably as earnest of more substantial kindnesses to be conferred
upon him at the very earliest opportunity.

To poor Egger fell the unpleasant duty of instructing these young
Tootles in the elements of the French language. For that purpose he
went up every morning to the class-room on the first floor, and for
a while relieved Miss Enderby of her charge. With anguish of spirit
he felt the approach of the moment which summoned him to this dread
duty, for, in addition to the lively spite of Master Felix and the
other children, he had to face the awful superintendence of Mrs.
Tootle herself; who was invariably present at these lessons. Mrs.
Tootle had somehow conceived the idea that French was a second
mother-tongue to her, and her intercourse with Mr. Egger was
invariably carried on in that language. Now this was a refinement of
torture, seeing that it was often impossible to gather a meaning
from her remarks, whilst to show any such difficulty was to incur
her most furious wrath. Egger trembled when he heard the rustle of
her dress outside, the perspiration stood on his forehead as he rose
and bowed before her.

"Bon jour, Monsieur," she would come in exclaiming. "Quel un beau
matin! Vous trouverez les jeunes dames et messieurs en bons eaprits
ce matin."

The spirits of Master Felix had manifested themselves already in his
skilfully standing a book upright on the teacher's chair, so that
when Egger subsided from his obeisance he sat down on a sharp edge
and was thrown into confusion.

"Monsieur Felix," cried his mother, "que faites-vous la?--Les
jeunes messieurs anglais sont plus spirituels que les jeunes
messieurs suisses, n'est ce pas, Monsieur Egger?"

"En effet, madame," muttered the teacher, nervously arranging his
books.

"Monsieur Egger," exclaimed Mrs. Tootle, with a burst of good
humour, "est-ce vrai ce qu'on dit que les Suisses sont si
excessivement sujets a etre _chez-malades_?"

The awful moment had come. What on earth did _chez-malades_ mean?
Was he to answer yes or no? In his ignorance of her meaning, either
reply might prove offensive. He reddened, fidgeted on his chair,
looked about him with an anguished mute appeal for help. Mrs. Tootle
repeated her question with emphasis and a change of countenance
which he knew too well. The poor fellow had not the tact to appear
to understand, and, as he might easily have done, mystify her by
some idiomatic remark. He stammered out his apologies and excuses,
with the effect of making Mrs. Tootle furious.

Then followed a terrible hour, at the end of which poor Egger rushed
down to the Masters' Room, covered his head with his hands and wept,
regardless of the boy strumming his exercises on the piano. Waymark
shortly came in to summon him to some other class, whereupon he
rose, and, with gestures of despair, groaned out--

"Let me, let me!--I have made my possible; I can no more!"

Waymark alone feared neither Mrs. Tootle nor her hopeful son, and,
in turn, was held in some little awe by both of them. The lady had
at first tried the effect of interfering in his classes, as she did
in those of the other masters, but the result was not encouraging.

"Don't you think, Mr. Waymark," she had said one day, as she walked
through the school-room and paused to listen to our friend's
explanation of some rule in English grammar; "don't you think it
would be better to confine yourself to the terms of the doctor's
little compendium? The boys are used to it."

"In this case," replied Waymark calmly, "I think the terms of the
compendium are rather too technical for the fourth class."

"Still, it is customary in this school to use the compendium, and it
has never yet been found unsatisfactory. Whilst you are discoursing
at such length, I observe your class gets very disorderly."

Waymark looked at her, but kept silence. Mrs. Tootle stood still.

"What are you waiting for, Mr. Waymark?" she asked sharply.

"Till your presence has ceased to distract the boys' attention, Mrs.
Tootle," was the straightforward reply.

The woman was disconcerted, and, as Waymark preserved his calm
silence, she had no alternative but to withdraw, after giving him a
look not easily forgotten.

But there was another person whose sufferings under the tyranny of
mother and children were perhaps keenest of all. Waymark had
frequent opportunities of observing Miss Enderby under persecution,
and learned to recognise in her the signs of acutest misery. Many
times he left the room, rather than add to her pain by his presence;
very often it was as much as he could do to refrain from taking her
part, and defending her against Mrs. Tootle. He had never been
formally introduced to Miss Enderby, and during several weeks held
no kind of communication with her beyond a "good morning" when he
entered the room and found her there. The first quarter of a year
was drawing to a close when there occurred the first conversation
between them. Waymark had been giving some of the children their
drawing-lesson, whilst the governess taught the two youngest. The
class-time being over, the youngsters all scampered off. For a
wonder, Mrs. Tootle was not present, anti Waymark seized the
opportunity to exchange a word with the young lady.

"I fear your pupils give you dreadful trouble," he said, as he stood
by the window pointing a pencil.

She started at being spoken to.

"They are full of life," she replied, in the low sad voice which was
natural to her.

"Which would all seem to be directed towards shortening that of
others," said Waymark, with a smile.

"They are intelligent," the governess ventured to suggest, after a
silence. "It would be a pleasure to teach them if they--if they
were a little more orderly."

"Certainly. If their parents had only common sense--"

He stopped. A flush had risen to the girl's face, and a slight
involuntary motion of her hand seemed to warn him. The reason was
that Mrs. Tootle stood in the doorway, to which he had his back
turned. Miss Enderby said a quick "good morning" and left him.

He was taking up some papers, preparatory to leaving the room, when
he noticed that the governess had left behind her a little book in
which she was accustomed to jot down lessons for the children. He
took it up and examined it. On the first page was written "Maud
Enderby, South Bank, Regent's Park." He repeated the name to himself
several times. Then he smiled, recalling the way in which the
governess had warned him that Mrs. Tootle could overhear what he
said. Somehow, this slight gesture of the girl's had seemed to bring
them closer to each other; there was an unpremeditated touch of
intimacy in the movement, which it pleased him to think of. This was
by no means the first time that he had stood with thoughts busied
about her, but the brief exchange of words and what had followed
gave something of a new complexion to his feelings. Previously he
had been interested in her; her striking features had made him
wonder what was the history which their expression concealed; but
her extreme reticence and the timid coldness of her look had left
his senses unmoved. Now he all at once experienced the awakening of
quite a new interest; there had been something in her eyes as they
met his which seemed to desire sympathy; he was struck with the
possibilities of emotion in the face which this one look had
revealed to him. Her situation seemed, when he thought of it, to
affect him more strongly than hitherto; he felt that it would be
more difficult henceforth to maintain his calmness when he saw her
insulted by Mrs. Tootle or disrespectfully used by the children.

Nor did the new feelings subside as rapidly as they had arisen. At
home that night he was unable to settle to his usual occupations,
and, as a visit to his friends in the Masters' Room would have been
equally distasteful, he rambled about the streets and so tired
himself. His duties did not take him up to the children's classroom
on the following morning, but he invented an excuse for going there,
and felt rewarded by the very faint smile and the inclination of the
head with which Miss Enderby returned his "good morning." Day after
day, he schemed to obtain an opportunity of speaking with her again,
and he fancied that she herself helped to remove any chances that
might have occurred. Throughout his lessons, his attention remained
fixed upon her; he studied her face intently, and was constantly
discovering in it new meanings. When she caught his eyes thus busy
with her, she evinced, for a moment, trouble and uneasiness; he felt
sure that she arranged her seat so as to have her back to him more
frequently than she had been accustomed to do. Her work appeared to
him to be done with less self-forgetfulness than formerly; the
rioting and impertinence of the children seemed to trouble her more;
she bore Mrs. Tootle's interference with something like fear. Once,
when Master Felix had gone beyond his wonted licence, in his
mother's absence, Waymark went so far as to call him to order. As
soon as he had spoken, the girl looked up at him in a startled way,
and seemed silently to beg him to refrain. All this only
strengthened the influence she exercised upon Waymark.

Since the climax of wretchedness which had resulted in his
advertisement and the forming of Julian Casti's acquaintance, a
moderate cheerfulness had possessed him. Now he once more felt the
clouds sinking about him, was aware of many a threatening portent,
the meaning whereof he too well understood. There had been a week or
two of prevailing bad weather, a state of things which always
wrought harmfully upon him; his thoughts darkened under the dark
sky, and the daily downpour of rain sapped his energies. It was
within a few days of Easter, but the prospect of a holiday had no
effect upon him. Night after night he lay in fever and unrest. He
felt as though some voice were calling upon him to undertake a
vaguely hazardous enterprise which yet he knew not the nature of.

On one of these evenings, Mr. O'Gree announced to him that Miss
Enderby was going to give up her position at the end of the quarter.
Philip had gathered this from a conversation heard during the day
between Dr. Tootle and his wife.

"The light of my life will be gone out," exclaimed O'Gree, "when I
am no longer able to catch a glimpse of her as she goes past the
schoolroom door. And I've never even had a chance of speaking to
her. You know the tale of Raleigh and Queen Elizabeth. Suppose I
were to rush out and throw my top-coat on the muddy door-step, just
as she's going out; d'ye think she'd say thank you?"

"Probably," muttered Waymark, without knowing what he said. It was
Mr. O'Gree's habit to affect this violent devotion to each new
governess in turn, but Waymark did not seem to find the joke amusing
at present.

"Bedad, I'll do it then! Or, rather, I would, if I'd two top-coats.
Hang it! There's no behaving like a gentleman on twenty-five pounds
a year."

Waymark walked about the streets the greater part of the night, and
the next morning came to school rather late. Dr. Tootle had to
consult with him about some matter as soon as he arrived.

"You seem indisposed, Mr. Waymark," the doctor remarked, when he had
in vain tried to elicit intelligible replies to his questions.

"I am a little out of sorts," the other returned carelessly.
"Perhaps we could talk about these things to-morrow."

"As you please," said Dr. Tootle, a little surprised at his
assistant's indifference.

It was a drawing-lesson morning. As he went upstairs, his ears
apprised him of the state of things he would find m Miss Enderby's
room. The approach of the Easter holidays was making the youngsters
even more than usually uproarious, and their insubordination had
passed beyond all pretence of attending to tasks. When Waymark
entered, his first glance, as always, was towards the governess. She
looked harassed and ill; was in vain endeavouring to exert some
authority with her gentle voice. Her eyes showed unmistakable
gratitude as the teacher appeared, for his approach meant that she
would be relieved from the three elder children. Waymark called
sharply to his pupils to come and take their places, but without any
attention on their part. Master Felix openly urged the rest to
assume a defiant attitude, and began to improvise melodies on a
trumpet formed by rolling up a copy-book.

"Felix," said Miss Enderby, "give me your copy-book and go to the
drawing-lesson."

The boy removed the trumpet from his mouth, and, waving it once
round his head, sent it flying across the room at the speaker; it
hit her on the cheek. In the same minute, Waymark had bent across
his knee a large pointer which stood in a corner of the room, and
had snapped it into two pieces. Holding the lighter of these in one
hand, with the other hand he suddenly caught Master Felix by the
coat-collar, and in a second had him out of the room and on to the
landing. Then did the echoes of the Academy wake to such a bellowing
as they had probably never heard before. With a grip impossible even
to struggle against, Waymark held the young imp under his arm, and
plied the broken pointer with great vigour; the stripes were almost
as loud as the roarings. There was a rush from the rooms below in
the direction of the disturbance; all the boys were in a trice
leaping about delightedly on the stairs, and behind them came
O'Gree, Egger, and Dr. Tootle himself. From the room above rushed
out all the young Tootles, yelling for help. Last of all, from still
higher regions of the house there swept down a vision of disordered
female attire, dishevelled hair, and glaring eyes; it was Mrs.
Tootle, disturbed at her toilet, forgetting all considerations of
personal appearance at the alarming outcry. Just as she reached the
spot, Waymark's arm dropped in weariness; he flung the howling young
monkey into one corner, the stick into another, and deliberately
pulled his coat-sleeves into position once more. He felt vastly
better for the exercise, and there was even a smile on his heated
face.

"You brutal ruffian!" shrieked Mrs. Tootle. "How dare you touch my
child? You shall answer for this in the police court, sir."

"Waymark," cried her husband, who had struggled to the scene through
the crowd of cheering boys, "what's the meaning of this? You forget
yourself, sir. Who gave you authority to use corporal chastisement?"

"The boy has long deserved a good thrashing," he said, "and I'm glad
I lost my temper sufficiently to give him a portion of his deserts.
If you wish to know the immediate cause, it simply was that he threw
a book at his governess's head and hit her."

"Mr. O'Gree," called out the doctor, "take your boys back to their
duties, sir! I am quite unable to understand this disgraceful lack
of discipline. Every boy who is not at his seat in one minute will
have five hundred verses of the Psalms to write out!--Mr. Waymark,
I shall be obliged to you if you will step into my study."

Five minutes after, Waymark was closeted with Dr. Tootle. The latter
had all at once put off his appearance of indignation.

"Really," he began, "it's a great pity you let yourself be carried
away like that. I think it very probable indeed that Felix deserved
castigation of some kind, but you would have done much better to
report him to me, you know, and let me see to it. You have put me in
an awkward position. I fear you must make an apology to Mrs. Tootle,
and then perhaps the matter can be allowed to blow over."

"I think not," replied Waymark, whose mind was evidently made up.
There was a look of recklessness on his face which one could at any
time have detected lurking beneath the hard self-control which
usually marked him. "I don't feel disposed to apologise, and I am
tired of my position here. I must give it up."

Dr. Tootle was annoyed. It would not be easy to get another teacher
of the kind at so cheap a rate.

"Come, you don't mean this," he said. "You are out of temper for the
moment. Perhaps the apology could be dispensed with; I think I may
promise that it can be. The lad will be no worse for his little
correction. Possibly we can come to some more satisfactory
arrangements for the future--"

"No," interposed Waymark; "I have quite made up my mind. I mean to
give up teaching altogether; it doesn't suit me. Of course I am
willing to come as usual the next two days."

"You are aware that this notice should have been given me at the
beginning of the quarter?" hinted the principal.

"Oh yes. Of course you will legally owe me nothing. I am prepared
for that."

"Well, I shall have to consider it. But I still think that you--"

"As far as I am concerned, the matter is decided. I go at Easter."

"Very well. I think you are blind to your own interest, but of
course you do as you please. If Mrs. Tootle should press me to take
out a summons against you for assault, of course I--"

"Good morning, Dr. Tootle."

The summons was not taken out, but Waymark's resolution suffered no
change. There was another interview between him and the principal,
from which he issued with the sum of six pounds ten in his pocket,
being half the quarter's salary. He had not applied for this, but
did not refuse it when it was offered. Seeing that the total amount
of cash previously in his possession was something less than five
shillings, he did wisely, perhaps, to compromise with his dignity,
and let Dr. Tootle come out of the situation with a certain show of
generosity.





CHAPTER XI

BY THE WAYSIDE





"So there ends another chapter. How many more to the end of the
story? How many more scenes till the farce is played out? There is
something flattering to one's vanity in this careless playing with
fate; it is edifying, moreover, to sot circumstances at defiance in
this way, now and then, to assert one's freedom. Freedom! What a
joke the word must be to whoever is pulling the wires and making us
poor puppets dance at his pleasure. Pity that we have to pay the
piper so heavily for our involuntary jigging!"

A passage from the letter Waymark wrote to his friend Casti, on the
evening when his school-work came to an end. That night he sought
rest early, and slept well. The sensations with which he woke next
morning were such as he had not experienced for a long time. He was
at liberty,--with six pounds ten in his pocket. He could do what
he liked and go whither he liked,--till lack of a dinner should
remind him that a man's hardest master is his own body. He dressed
leisurely, and, having dressed, treated himself to an egg for
breakfast. Absolutely no need for hurry; the thought of school-hours
dismissed for ever; a horizon quite free from the vision of hateful
toil; in the real sky overhead a gleam of real sunshine, as if to
make credible this sudden change. His mood was still complete
recklessness, a revolt against the idea of responsibility,
indifference to all beyond the moment.

It was Thursday; the morrow would be Good Friday; after that the
intervention of two clear days before the commencement of a new week
In the meantime the sun was really shining, and the fresh spring air
invited to the open ways. Waymark closed the door of his room behind
him, and went downstairs, whistling to himself. But, before reaching
the bottom, he turned and went back again. It seemed warm enough to
sit in one of the parks and read. He laid his hand on a book, almost
at haphazard, to put in his pocket. Then he walked very leisurely
along Kennington Road, and on, and on, till he had crossed the
river.

Wondering in which direction he should next turn, he suddenly found
himself repeating, with unaccountable transition of thought, the
words "South Bank, Regent's Park." In all likelihood, he said to
himself presently, they were suggested by some inscription on a
passing omnibus, noted unconsciously. The address was that he had
read in Miss Enderby's note-book. Why not ramble in that direction
as well as another, and amuse himself by guessing which house it was
that the governess lived in? He had not seen her since the uproar
which had terminated his connection with the young Tootles. Was it
true that she had then already decided to give up her position? If
not, his outbreak of temper had doubtless resulted unpleasantly for
her, seeing that Mrs. Tootle would almost certainly dismiss her out
of mere spite. Several times during the last two days he had thought
of conveying to her a note by some means, to express in some way or
other this fear, and the regret it caused him; the real motive, he
knew well enough, would be a hope of receiving a reply from her. But
now she had perhaps left the school, and he did not know her exact
address. He made his way across the Park in the direction of St.
John's Wood, and had soon reached South Bank.

He had walked once the length of the road, and was looking at the
nearest houses before he turned, when a lady came round the corner
and paused to avoid him, as he stood in the middle of the pavement.
It was Miss Enderby herself. Her embarrassment was apparently not as
great as his own. She smiled with friendliness; seemed indeed in a
happier frame of mind than any in which Waymark had as yet seen her.
But she did not offer her hand, and the other, having raised his
hat, was almost on the point of passing on, when he overcame his
diffidence and spoke.

"I came here to try and discover where you lived, Miss Enderby."

There was something grotesque in this abruptness; his tone only
saved it from impertinence. The girl looked at him with frank
surprise.

"Pray don't misunderstand me," he went on hurriedly. "I wished, if
possible, to--well, to tell you that I feared I acted
thoughtlessly the other day; without regard, I mean, to any
consequences it might have for yourself."

"Rather I ought to thank you for defending me. It made no difference
in the way you mean. It had already been decided that I should
leave. I did not suit Mrs. Tootle."

It was very pleasant to look down into her earnest face, and watch
it as she spoke in this unrestrained way. She seemed so slight and
frail, evidently thought so depreciatingly of herself, looked as
though her life had in it so little joy, that Waymark had speedily
assumed a confident attitude, and gazed at her as a man does at one
whom he would gladly guard and cherish.

"You were certainly unsuited for the work, in every way," he said,
with a smile. "Your efforts were quite wasted there. Still, I am
sorry you have left."

"I am going into a family," were her next words, spoken almost
cheerfully. "It is in the country, in Essex. There are only two
children, quite young. I think I shall succeed better with them; I
hope so."

"Then I suppose," Waymark said, moving a little and keeping his eyes
fixed on her with an uneasy look, "I shall--I must say good-bye to
you, for the last time?"

A scarcely heard "yes" fell from her lips. Her eyes were cast down.

"I am going to make a bold request," Waymark exclaimed, with a sort
of recklessness, though his voice expressed no less respect than
hitherto. "Will you tell me where you are going to?"

She told him, without looking up, and with a recurrence to the timid
manner which had marked her in the schoolroom. This gave Waymark
encouragement; his confidence grew as hers diminished.

"Will you let me write to you--occasionally? Would you let me keep
up our acquaintance in this way,--so that, if you return to
London, I might look forward to meeting you again some time?"

The girl answered timidly--

"I shall be glad to keep up our acquaintance. I shall be glad to
hear from you."

Then, at once feeling that she had gone too far, her confusion made
her pale. Waymark held out his hand, as if to take leave.

"Thank you very much," he said warmly. "I am very grateful."

She gave him a quick "good-bye," and then passed on. Waymark moved
at once in the opposite direction, turning the corner. Then he
wished to go back and notice which house she entered, but would not
do so lest she should observe him. He walked straight forwards.

How the aspect of the world had changed for him in these few
minutes; what an incredible revolution had come to pass in his own
desires and purposes t The intellectual atmosphere he breathed was
of his own creation; the society of cultured people he had never had
an opportunity of enjoying. A refined and virtuous woman had
hitherto existed for him merely in the sanctuary of his imagination;
he had known not one such. If he passed one in the street, the
effect of the momentary proximity was only to embitter his thoughts,
by reminding him of the hopeless gulf fixed between his world and
that in which such creatures had their being. In revenge, he tried
to soil the purity of his ideals; would have persuaded himself that
the difference between the two spheres was merely in externals, that
he was imposed upon by wealth, education, and superficial refinement
of manners. Happily he had never really succeeded in thus deceiving
himself, and the effort had only served to aggravate his miseries.
The habit of mind, however, had shown itself in the earlier stages
of his acquaintance with Miss Enderby. The first sight of her had
moved him somewhat, but scarcely with any foreshadowing of serious
emotion. He felt that she was different from any woman with whom he
had ever stood on an equal footing; but, at the same time, the very
possibility of establishing more or less intimate relations with her
made him distrustful of his judgment. In spite of himself, he tried
to disparage her qualities. She was pretty, he admitted, but then of
such a feeble, characterless type; doubtless her understanding
corresponded with the weakness of her outward appearance. None the
less, he had continued to observe her keenly, and had noted with
pleasure every circumstance which contradicted his wilful
depreciation of her. His state of mind after the thrashing he gave
to young Tootle had been characteristic. What had been the cause of
his violence? Certainly not uncontrollable anger, for he had in
reality been perfectly cool throughout the affair; simply, then, the
pleasure of avenging Miss Enderby. And for this he had sacrificed
his place, and left himself without resources. He had acted
absurdly; certainly would not have repeated the absurdity had the
scene been to act over again. This was not the attitude of one in
love, and he knew it. Moreover, though he had thought of writing to
her, it would in reality have cost him nothing if she had forthwith
passed out of his sight and knowledge. Now how all this had been
altered, by a mere chance meeting. The doubts had left him; she was
indeed the being from a higher world that he would have liked to
believe her from the first; the mysterious note of true sympathy had
been struck in that short exchange of words and looks, and, though
they had taken leave of each other for who could say how long,
mutual knowledge was just beginning, real intercourse about to be
established between them. He might write to her, and of course she
would reply.

He walked without much perception of time or distance, and found
himself at home just before nightfall. He felt disposed for a quiet
evening, to be spent in the companionship of his thoughts. But when
he had made his coffee and eaten with appetite after the day's
rambling, restlessness again possessed him. After all, it was not
retirement that he needed; these strange new Imaginings would
consort best with motion and the liveliness of the streets. So he
put out his lamp, and once more set forth. The night air freshened
his spirits; he sang to himself as he went along. It was long since
he had been to a theatre, and just now he 'vas so hopelessly poor
that he could really afford a little extravagance. So he was soon
sitting before the well-known drop of a favourite play-house, as
full of light-hearted expectancy as a boy who is enjoying a holiday.
The evening was delightful, and passed all too quickly.

The play over, he was in no mood to go straight home. He lit a cigar
and drifted with the current westward, out of the Strand and into
Pall Mall. A dispute between a cabdriver and his fare induced him to
pause for a moment under the colonnade, and, when the little cluster
of people had moved on, he still stood leaning against one of the
pillars, enjoying the mild air and the scent of his cigar. He felt
his elbow touched, and, looking round with indifference, met the
kind of greeting for which he was prepared. He shook his head and
did not reply; then the sham gaiety of the voice all at once turned
to a very real misery, and the girl began to beg instead of trying
to entice him in the ordinary way. He looked at her again, and was
shocked at the ghastly wretchedness of her daubed face. She was ill,
she said, and could scarcely walk about, but must get money somehow;
if she didn't, her landlady wouldn't let her sleep in the house
again, and she had nowhere else to go to. There could be no mistake
about the genuineness of her story, at all events as far as bodily
suffering went. Waymark contrasted her state with his own, and took
out what money he had in his pocket; it was the change out of a
sovereign which he had received at the theatre, and he gave her it
all. She stared, and did not understand.

"Are you coming with me?" she asked, feeling obliged to make a
hideous attempt at professional coaxing in return for such
generosity.

"Good God, no!" Waymark exclaimed. "Go home and take care of
yourself."

She thanked him warmly, and turned away at once. As his eye followed
her, he was aware that somebody else had drawn near to him from
behind. This also was a girl, but of a different kind. She was well
dressed, and of graceful, rounded form; a veil almost hid her face,
but enough could be seen to prove that she had good looks.

"That a friend of yours?" she asked abruptly, and her voice was
remarkably full, clear, and sweet.

Waymark answered with a negative, looking closely at her.

"Then why did you give her all that money?"

"How do you know what I gave her?"

"I was standing just behind here, and could see."

"Well?"

"Nothing; only I should think you are one out of a thousand. You
saved me a sovereign, too; I've watched her begging of nearly a
dozen people, and I couldn't have stood it much longer."

"You would have given her a sovereign?"

"I meant to, if she'd failed with you."

"Is she a friend of yours?"

"Never saw her before to-night."

"Then you must be one out of a thousand."

The girl laughed merrily.

"In that case," she said, "we ought to know each other, shouldn't
we?"

"If we began by thinking so well of each other," returned Waymark,
smiling, "we should not improbably suffer a grievous disappointment
before long."

"Well, _you_ might. You have to take my generosity on trust, but I
have proof of yours."

"You're an original sort of girl," said Waymark, throwing away the
end of his cigar. "Do you talk to everybody in this way?"

"Pooh, of course not. I shouldn't be worth much if I couldn't suit
my conversation to the man I want to make a fool of. Would you
rather have me talk in the usual way? Shall I say--"

"I had rather not."

"Well, I knew that."

"And how?"

"Well, _you_ don't wear a veil, if I do."

"You can read faces?"

"A little, I flatter myself. Can you?"

"Give me a chance of trying."

She raised her veil, and he inspected her for some moments, then
looked away.

"Excellently well, if God did all," he observed, with a smile.

"That's out of a play," she replied quickly. "I heard it a little
time ago, but I forget the answer. I'd have given anything to be
able to cap you! Then you'd have put me down for a clever woman, and
I should have lived on the reputation henceforth and for ever. But
it's all my own, indeed; I'm not afraid of crying."

"_Do_ you ever cry? I can't easily imagine it."

"Oh yes, sometimes," she answered, sighing, and at the same time
lowering her veil again. "But you haven't read my face for me."

"It's a face I'm sorry to have seen."

"Why?" she asked, holding her hands clasped before her, the palms
turned outwards.

"I shall think of it often after tonight, and imagine it with all
its freshness gone, and marks of suffering and degradation upon it."

"Suffering, perhaps; degradation, no. Why should I be degraded?"

"You can't help yourself. The life you have chosen brings its
inevitable consequences."

"Chosen!" she repeated, with an indignant face. "How do you know I
had any choice in the matter? You have no right to speak
contemptuously, like that."

"Perhaps not. Certainly not. I should have said--the life you are
evidently leading."

"Well, I don't know that it makes so much difference. I suppose
everybody has a choice at all events between life and death, and you
mean that I ought to have killed myself rather than come to this.
That's my own business, however, and--"

A man had just passed behind them, and, catching the sound of the
girl's voice, had turned suddenly to look at her. She, at the same
moment, looked towards him, and stopped all at once in her speech.

"Are you walking up Regent Street?" she asked Waymark, in quite a
different voice. "Give me your arm, will you?"

Waymark complied, and they walked together in the direction she
suggested.

"What is the matter with you?" he asked. "Why are you trembling?"

"Don't look round. It's that fellow behind us; I know he is
following."

"Somebody you know?"

"Yes, and hate. Worse than that, I'm afraid of him. Will you keep
with me till he's gone?"

"Of course I will. What harm can he do you though?"

"None that I know of. It's a strange stupid feeling I have. I can't
bear the sight of him. Don't look round!"

"Has he been a--a friend of yours?"

"No, no; not in that way. But he follows me about. He'll drive me
out of London, I know."

They had reached Piccadilly Circus.

"Look back now," she said, "and see if he's following still."

Waymark turned his head; the man was at a little distance behind. He
stopped when be saw himself observed, and stood on the edge of the
pavement, tapping his boot with his cane. He was a tall and rather
burly fellow, well dressed, with a clean-shaven face.

"Let's make haste round the corner," the girl said, "and get into
the restaurant. You must have some supper with me."

"I should be very happy, had I a penny in my pocket."

"See how easily good deeds are forgotten," returned the other,
laughing in the old way. "Now comes my turn to give proof of
generosity. Come and have some supper all the same."

"No; that's out of the question."

"Fiddlestick Surely you won't desert me when I ask your protection?
Come along, and pay me back another time, if you like."

They walked round the corner, then the girl started and ran at her
full speed. Waymark followed in the same way, somewhat oppressed by
a sense of ridiculousness. They reached the shelter of the
restaurant, and the girl led the way upstairs, laughing
immoderately.

Supper was served to them, and honoured with due attention by both.
Waymark had leisure to observe his companion's face in clearer
light. It was beautiful, and, better still, full of character.

He presently bent forward to her, and spoke in a low voice.

"Isn't this the man who followed us just coming in now? Look, he has
gone to the table on the right."

She looked round hastily, and shuddered, for she had met the man's
eyes.

"Why did you tell me?" she exclaimed impatiently. "Now I can't
finish my supper. Wait till he has given his order, and then we will
go."

Waymark examined this mysterious persecutor. In truth, the
countenance was no good one, and a woman might well dislike to have
such eyes turned upon her. It was a strong face; coarse originally,
and, in addition to the faults of nature, it now bore the plainest
traces of hard living. As soon as he perceived Waymark and his
companion, he fixed them with his eyes, and scarcely looked away as
long as they remained in the room. The girl seemed shrinking under
this gaze, though she sat almost with her back to him. She ceased
talking, and, as soon as she saw that Waymark had finished, made a
sign to him to pay quickly (with a sovereign she pushed across the
table) and let them be gone. They rose, accordingly, and left. The
man watched them, but remained seated.

"Are you in a hurry to get home?" the girl asked, when they were in
the street again.

"No; time is of no consequence to me."

"Do you live far off?"

"In Kennington. And you?"

"If you like, I'll show you. Let us walk quickly. I feel rather
cold."

She led the way into the Strand. At no great distance from Temple
Bar she turned off into a small court.

"This is a queer place to live in," observed Waymark, as he looked
up at the dark houses.

"Don't be afraid," was the good-humoured reply, as she opened the
door with a latch-key. They went up two flights of stairs, then
entered a room where a bright fire was burning. Waymark's conductor
held a piece of paper to the flame, and lit a lamp. It was a small,
pleasantly furnished sitting-room.

"Do you play?" Waymark asked, seeing an open piano, with music upon
it.

"I only wish I could. My landlady's daughter is giving me lessons.
But I think I'm getting on. Listen to me do this exercise."

She sat down, and, with much conscientious effort, went over some
simple bars. Then she looked up at her companion and caught him
smiling.

"Well," she exclaimed, in a pet, "you must begin at the beginning in
everything, mustn't you? Come and let me hear what you can do."

"Not even so much."

"Then don't laugh at a poor girl doing her best. You have such a
queer smile too; it seems both ill-natured and good-natured at the
same time. Now wait a minute till I come back."

She went into an inner room, and closed the door behind her. In five
minutes it opened again. She appeared in a dressing gown and with
her feet in slippers. Her fine hair fell heavily about her
shoulders; in her arms she held a beautiful black cat, with white
throat and paws.

"This is my child. Don't you admire him? Shake hands, Grim."

"Why Grim?"

"It's short for Grimalkin. the name of a cat in a hook of fairy
tales I used to be fond of reading. Don't you think he's got a
beautiful face, and a good deal more intelligent than some people we
could mention? I picked him up on our door-step, two months ago. Oh,
you never saw such a wretched little object, dripping with rain, and
with such a poor starved little face, and bones almost coming
through the skin. He looked up at me, and begged me as plain as
plain could be to have pity on him and help him; didn't you, Grimmy?
And so I brought him upstairs, and made him comfortable, and now we
shall never part.--Do you like animals?"

"Yes."

The door of the room suddenly opened, and there sprang in a
fresh-coloured young girl in hat and jacket, short, plump, pretty,
and looking about seventeen. She started back on seeing that the
room was occupied.

"What is it, Sally?" asked Grim's mistress, with a good-natured
laugh.

"Why, Mrs. Walter told me you wasn't in yet; I'm awful sorry, I beg
your pardon."

She spoke with a strong south-west-country accent.

"Do you want me?"

"It's only for Grim," returned Sally. showing something which she
held wrapped up in paper. "I'd brought un home a bit o' fish, a nice
bit without bone; it'll just suit he."

"Then come and give it he," said the other, with a merry glance at
Waymark. "But he mustn't make a mess on the hearthrug."

"Oh, trust un for that," cried Sally. "He won't pull it off the
paper."

Grim was accordingly provided with his supper, and Sally ran away
with a "good-night."

"Who's that?" Waymark asked. "Where on earth does she come from?"

"She's from Weymouth. They talk queerly there, don't they? She lives
in the house, and goes to business. Sally and I are great friends."

"Do you come from the country?" Waymark inquired, as she sat down in
an easy-chair and watched the cat eating.

"No, I'm a London girl. I've never been out of the town since I was
a little child."

"And how old are you now?"

"Guess."

"Not twenty."

"Eighteen a month ago. All my life before me, isn't it?"

Waymark kept silence for a moment.

"How do you like my room?" she asked suddenly, looking round.

"It's very comfortable. I always thought there were nothing but
business places all about here. I should rather like to live in the
very middle of the town, like this."

"Should you? That's just what I like. Oh, how I enjoy the noise and
the crowds! I should be ill if I had to live in one of those long,
dismal streets, where the houses are all the same shape, and
costermongers go bawling about all day long. I suppose you live in a
place like that?"

"Very much the same."

In taking his handkerchief out, Waymark just happened to feel a book
in his overcoat-pocket. He drew it forth to see what it was, having
forgotten entirely that he had been carrying the volume about with
him since morning.

"What's that?" asked the girl. "Will you let me look? Is it a tale?
Lend it me; will you?"

"Do you read books?"

"Oh yes; why not? Let me keep this till you come again. Is this your
name written here--Osmond Waymark?"

"Yes. And what is your name?"

"Ida Starr."

"Ida? That's a beautiful name. I was almost afraid to ask you, for
fear it should be something common."

"And why shouldn't I have a common name?"

"Because you are by no means a common girl."

"You think not? Well, perhaps you are right. But may I keep the book
till I see you again?"

"I had better give it you, for it isn't very likely you will see me
again."

"Why not?"

"My acquaintance would be anything but profitable to you. I often
haven't enough money to live on, and--"

Ida stooped down and played for a few moments with Grim, who turned
over lazily on to his back, and stroked his mistress's hands
delicately with his soft white paws.

"But you are a gentleman," she said, rising again, and rustling over
the pages of the book she still held. "Are you in the city?"

"The Lord deliver me!"

"What then?"

"I am nothing."

"Then you must be rich."

"It by no means follows. Yesterday I was a teacher in a school.
To-day I am what is called out of work."

"A teacher. But I suppose you'll get another place."

"No. I've given it up because I couldn't endure it any longer."

"And how are you going to live?"

"I have no idea."

"Then you must have been very foolish to give away your money like
that to-night."

"I don't pretend to much wisdom. If I had had another sovereign in
my pocket, no doubt I should have given it you before this, and you
wouldn't have refused it."

"How do you know?" she asked sharply. "Why should you think me
selfish?"

"Certainly I have no reason to. And by the by, I already owe you
money for the supper. I will send it you to-morrow."

"Why not bring it?"

"Better not. I have a good deal of an unpleasant quality which
people call pride, and I don't care to make myself uncomfortable
unnecessarily."

"You can't have more pride than I have. Look." She held out her
hands. "Will you be my friend, really my friend? You understand me?"

"I think I understand, but I doubt whether it is possible."

"Everything is possible. Will you shake hands with me, and, when you
come to see me again, let us meet as if I were a modest girl, and
you had got to know me in a respectable house, and not in the street
at midnight?"

"You really wish it? You are not joking?"

"I am in sober earnest, and I wish it. You won't refuse?"

"If I did I should refuse a great happiness."

He took her hand and again released it.

"And now look at the time," said she, pointing to a clock on the
mantelpiece. "Half-past one. How will you get home?"

"Walk. It won't take me more than an hour. May I light my pipe
before I start?"

"Of course you may. When shall I see you again?"

"Shall we say this night next week?"

"Very well. Come here any time you like in the evening. I will be at
home after six. And then I can give you your book back."

Waymark lit his pipe, stooped to give Grim a stroke, and buttoned up
his coat. Ida led the way downstairs. They shook hands again, and
parted.





CHAPTER XII

RENT DAY




It was much after his usual hour when Waymark awoke on Good Friday
morning. He had been troubled throughout the night with a strangely
vivid dream, which seemed to have repeated itself several times;
when he at length started into consciousness the anguish of the
vision was still upon him.

He rose at once, and dressed quickly, doing his best to shake off
the clinging misery of sleep. In a little while it had passed, and
he tried to go over in his mind the events of the preceding day.
Were they, too, only fragments of a long dream? Surely so many and
strange events could not have crowded themselves into one period of
twelve hours; and for him, whose days passed with such dreary
monotony. The interview with Maud Enderby seemed so unnaturally long
ago; that with Ida Starr, so impossibly fresh and recent. Yet both
had undoubtedly taken place. He, who but yesterday morning had felt
so bitterly his loneliness in the world, and, above all, the
impossibility of what he most longed for--woman's companionship--
found himself all at once on terms of at least friendly intimacy
with two women, both young, both beautiful, yet so wholly different.
Each answered to an ideal which he cherished, and the two ideals
were so diverse, so mutually exclusive. The experience had left him
in a curious frame of mind. For the present, he felt cool, almost
indifferent, to both his new acquaintances. He had asked and
obtained leave to write to Maud Enderby; what on earth could he
write about? How could he address her? He had promised to go and see
Ida Starr, on a most impracticable footing. Was it not almost
certain that, before the day came round, her caprice would have
vanished, and his reception would prove anything but a flattering
one? The feelings which both girls had at the time excited in him
seemed artificial; in his present mood he in vain tried to
resuscitate his interest either in the one or the other. It was as
though he had over-exerted his emotional powers, and they lay
exhausted. Weariness was the only reality of which he was conscious.
He must turn his mind to other things. Having breakfasted, he
remembered what day it was, and presently took down a volume of his
Goethe, opening at the Easter morning scene in Faust, favourite
reading with him. This inspired him with a desire to go into the
open air; it was a bright day, and there would be life in the
streets. Just as he began to prepare himself for walking, there came
a knock at his door, and Julian Casti entered.

"Halloa!" Waymark cried. "I thought you told me you were engaged
with your cousin to-day."

"I was, but I sent her a note yesterday to say I was unable to meet
her."

"Then why didn't you write at the same time and tell me you were
coming? I might have gone out for the day."

"I had no intention of coming then."

"What's the matter? You look out of sorts."

"I don't feel in very good spirits. By the by, I heard from the
publishers yesterday. Here's the note."

It simply stated that Messrs. So-and-so had given their best
attention to the play of "Stilicho," which Mr. Casti had been so
good as to submit to them, and regretted their inability to make any
proposal for its publication, seeing that its subject was hardly
likely to excite popular interest. They thanked the author for
offering it to them, and begged to return the MS.

"Well, it's a disappointment," said Waymark, "but we must try again.
I myself am so hardened to this kind of thing that I fear you will
think me unsympathetic. It's like having a tooth out. You never
quite get used to it, but you learn after two or three experiments
to gauge the moment's torture at its true value. Re-direct your
parcel, and fresh hope beats out the old discouragement"

"It wasn't altogether that which was making me feel restless and
depressed," Casti said, when they had left the house and were
walking along. "I suppose I'm not quite right in health just at
present. I seem to have lost my natural good spirits of late; the
worst of it is, I can't settle to my day's work as I used to. In
fact, I have just been applying for a new place, that of dispenser
at the All Saints' Hospital. If I get it, it would make my life a
good deal more independent. I should live in lodgings of my own, and
have much more time to myself."

Waymark encouraged the idea strongly. But his companion could not be
roused to the wonted cheerfulness. After a long silence, he all at
once put a strange question, and in an abashed way.

"Waymark, have you ever been in love?"

Osmond laughed, and looked at his friend curiously.

"Many thousand times," was his reply.

"No, but seriously," urged Julian.

"With desperate seriousness for two or three days at a time. Never
longer."

"Well now, answer me in all earnestness. Do you believe it possible
to love a woman whom in almost every respect you regard as your
inferior, who you know can't understand your thoughts and
aspirations, who has no interest in anything above daily needs?"

"Impossible to say. Is she good-looking?"

"Suppose she is not; yet not altogether plain."

"Then does she love you?"

Julian reddened at the direct application.

"Suppose she seems to."

"Seems to, eh?--On the whole, I should say that I couldn't declare
it possible or the contrary till I had seen the girl. I myself
should be very capable of falling desperately in love with a girl
who hadn't an idea in her head, and didn't know her letters. All I
should ask would be passion in return, and--well, yes, a pliant
and docile character."

"You are right; the character would go for much. Never mind, we
won't speak any more of the subject. It was an absurd question to
ask you."

"Nevertheless, you have made me very curious."

"I will tell you more some other time; not now. Tell me about your
own plans. What decision have you come to?"

Waymark professed to have formed no plan whatever. This was not
strictly true. For some months now, ever and again, as often indeed
as he had felt the burden of his schoolwork more than usually
intolerable, his thoughts had turned to the one person who could be
of any assistance to him, and upon whom he had any kind of claim;
that was Abraham Woodstock, his father's old friend. He had held no
communication with Mr. Woodstock for four years; did not even know
whether he was living. But of him he still thought, now that
absolute need was close at hand, and, as soon as Julian Casti had
left him to-day, he examined a directory to ascertain whether the
accountant still occupied the house in St. John Street Road.
Apparently he did. And the same evening Waymark made up his mind to
visit Mr. Woodstock on the following day.

The old gentleman was sitting alone when the servant announced a
visitor. In personal appearance he was scarcely changed since the
visit of his little grand-daughter. Perhaps the eye was not quite so
vivid, the skin on forehead and cheeks a trifle less smooth, but his
face had the same healthy colour; there was the same repose of force
in the huge limbs, and his voice had lost nothing of its resonant
firmness.

"Ah!" he exclaimed, as Waymark entered. "You! I've been wondering
where you were to be found."

The visitor held out his hand, and Abraham, though he did not rise,
smiled not unpleasantly as he gave his own.

"You wanted to see me?" Waymark asked.

"Well, yes. I suppose you've come about the mines."

"Mines? What mines?"

"Oh, then you haven't come about them. You didn't know the Llwg
Valley people have begun to pay a dividend?"

Waymark remembered that one of his father's unfortunate speculations
had been the purchase of certain shares in some Welsh mines. The
money thus invested had remained, for the last nine years, wholly
unproductive. Mr. Woodstock explained that things were looking up
with the company in question, who had just declared a dividend of 4
per cent. on all their paid-up shares.

"In other words," exclaimed Waymark eagerly, "they owe me some
money?"

"Which you can do with, eh?" said Abraham, with a twinkle of
good-humoured commiseration in his eye.

"Perfectly. What are the details?"

"There are fifty ten-pound shares. Dividend accordingly twenty
pounds."

"By Jingo! How is it to be got at?"

"Do you feel disposed to sell the shares?" asked the old man,
looking up sideways, and still smiling.

"No; on the whole I think not."

"Ho, ho, Osmond, where have you learnt prudence, eh?--Why don't
you sit down?--If you didn't come about the mines, why did you
come, eh?"

"Not to mince matters," said Waymark, taking a chair, and speaking
in an off-hand way which cost him much effort, "I came to ask you to
help me to some way of getting a living."

"Hollo!" exclaimed the old man, chuckling. "Why, I should have
thought you'd made your fortune by this time. Poetry doesn't pay, it
seems?"

"It doesn't. One has to buy experience. It's no good saying that I
ought to have been guided by you five years ago. Of course I wish I
had been, but it wasn't possible. The question is, do you care to
help me now?"

"What's your idea?" asked Abraham, playing with his watch-guard, a
smile as of inward triumph flitting about his lips.

"I have none. I only know that I've been half-starved for years in
the cursed business of teaching, and that I can't stand it any
longer. I want some kind of occupation that will allow me to have
three good meals every day, and leave me my evenings free. That
isn't asking much, I imagine; most men manage to find it. I don't
care what the work is, not a bit. If it's of a kind which gives a
prospect of getting on, all the better; if that's out of the
question, well, three good meals and a roof shall suffice."

"You're turning out a devilish sensible lad, Osmond," said Mr.
Woodstock, still smiling. "Better late than never, as they say. But
I don't see what you can do. You literary chaps get into the way of
thinking that any fool can make a man of business, and that it's
only a matter of condescending to turn your hands to desk work and
the ways clear before you. It's a mistake, and you're not the first
that'll find it out."

"This much I know," replied Waymark, with decision. "Set me to
anything that can be learnt, and I'll be perfect in it in a quarter
the time it would take the average man."

"You want your evenings free?" asked the other, after a short
reflection. "What will you do with them?"

"I shall give them to literary work."

"I thought as much. And you think you can be a man of business and a
poet at the same time? No go, my boy. If you take up business, you
drop poetising. Those two horses never yet pulled at the same shaft,
and never will."

Mr. Woodstock pondered for a few moments. He thrust out his great
legs with feet crossed on the fender, and with his hands jingled
coin in his trouser-pockets.

"I tell you what," he suddenly began. "There's only one thing I know
of at present that you're likely to be able to do. Suppose I gave
you the job of collecting my rents down east."

"Weekly rents?"

"Weekly. It's a rough quarter, and they're a shady lot of customers.
You wouldn't find the job over-pleasant, but you might try, eh?"

"What would it bring me in,--to go at once to the point?"

"The rents average twenty-five pounds. Your commission would be
seven per cent. You might reckon, I dare say, on five-and-thirty
shillings a week."

"What is the day for collecting?"

"Mondays; but there's lots of 'em you'd have to look up several
times in a week. If you like I'll go round myself on Tuesday--
Easter Monday's no good--and you can come with me."

"I will go, by all means," exclaimed Waymark

Talk continued for some half-hour. When Waymark rose at length, he
expressed his gratitude for the assistance promised.

"Well, well," said the other, "wait till we see how things work. I
shouldn't wonder if you throw it up after a week or two. However, be
here on Tuesday at ten. And prompt, mind: I don't wait for any man."

Waymark was punctual enough on the following Tuesday, and the two
drove in a hansom eastward. It was rather a foggy morning, and
things looked their worst. After alighting they had a short walk.
Mr. Woodstock stopped at the end of an alley.

"You see," he said, "that's Litany Lane. There are sixteen houses in
it, and they're all mine. Half way down, on the left, runs off Elm
Court, where there are fourteen houses, and those are all mine,
too."

Waymark looked. Litany Lane was a narrow passage, with houses only
on one side; opposite to them ran a long high wall, apparently the
limit of some manufactory. Two posts set up at the entrance to the
Lane showed that it was no thoroughfare for vehicles. The houses
were of three storeys. There were two or three dirty little shops,
but the rest were ordinary lodging-houses, the front-doors standing
wide open as a matter of course, exhibiting a dusky passage, filthy
stairs, with generally a glimpse right through into the yard in the
rear. In Elm Court the houses were smaller, and had their fronts
whitewashed. Under the archway which led into the Court were
fastened up several written notices of rooms to be let at this or
that number. The paving was in evil repair, forming here and there
considerable pools of water, the stench and the colour whereof led
to the supposition that the inhabitants facilitated domestic
operations by emptying casual vessels out of the windows. The dirty
little casements on the ground floor exhibited without exception a
rag of red or white curtain on the one side, prevailing fashion
evidently requiring no corresponding drapery on the other. The Court
was a _cul de sac_, and at the far end stood a receptacle for ashes,
the odour from which was intolerable. Strangely enough, almost all
the window-sills displayed flower-pots, and, despite the wretched
weather, several little bird-cages hung out from the upper storeys.
In one of them a lark was singing briskly.

They began their progress through the tenements, commencing at the
top of Litany Lane. Many of the rooms were locked, the occupiers
being away at their work, but in such case the rent had generally
been left with some other person in the house, and was forthcoming.
But now and then neither rent nor tenant was to be got at, and dire
were the threats which Abraham bade the neighbours convey to the
defaulters on their return. His way with one and all was curt and
vigorous; to Waymark it seemed needlessly brutal. A woman pleading
inability to make up her total sum would be cut short with a
thunderous oath, and the assurance that, if she did not pay up in a
day or two, every stick would be carried off. Pitiful pleading for
time had absolutely no effect upon Abraham. Here and there e tenant
would complain of high rent, and point out a cracked ceiling, a
rotten piece of stairs, or something else imperatively calling for
renovation. "If you don't like the room, clear out," was the
landlord's sole reply to all such speeches.

In one place they came across an old Irish woman engaged in washing.
The room was hung with reeking clothes from wall to wall. For a time
it was difficult to distinguish objects through the steam, and
Waymark, making his way in, stumbled and almost fell over an open
box. From the box at once proceeded a miserable little wail, broken
by as terrible a cough as a child could be afflicted with; and
Waymark then perceived that the box was being used as a cradle, in
which lay a baby gasping in the agonies of some throat disease,
whilst drops from the wet clothing trickled on to its face.

On leaving this house, they entered Elm Court. Here, sitting on the
doorstep of the first house, was a child of apparently nine or ten,
and seemingly a girl, though the nondescript attire might have
concealed either sex, and the face was absolutely sexless in its
savagery. Her hair was cut short, and round her neck was a bit of
steel chain, fastened with string. On seeing the two approach, she
sprang up, and disappeared with a bound into the house.

"That's the most infernal little devil in all London, I do believe,"
said Mr. Woodstock, as they began to ascend the stairs. "Her mother
owes two weeks, and if she don't pay something to-day, I'll have her
out. She'll be shamming illness, you'll see. The child ran up to
prepare her."

The room in question was at the top of the house. It proved to be
quite bare of furniture. On a bundle of straw in one corner was
lying a woman, to all appearances _in extremis_. She lay looking up
to the ceiling, her face distorted into the most ghastly anguish,
her lips foaming; her whole frame shivered incessantly.

"Ha, I thought so," exclaimed Abraham as he entered. "Are you going
to pay anything this week?"

The woman seemed to be unconscious.

"Have you got the rent?" asked Mr. Woodstock, turning to the child,
who had crouched down in another corner.

"No, we ain't," was the reply, with a terribly fierce glare from
eyes which rather seemed to have looked on ninety years than nine.

"Then out you go! Come, you, get up now; d' you hear? Very well;
come along, Waymark; you take hold of that foot, and I'll take this.
Now, drag her out on to the landing."

They dragged her about half-way to the door, when suddenly Waymark
felt the foot he had hold of withdrawn from his grasp, and at once
the woman sprang upright. Then she fell on him, tooth and nail,
screaming like some evil beast. Had not Abraham forthwith come to
the rescue, he would have been seriously torn about the face, but
just in time the woman's arms were seized in a giant grip, and she
was flung bodily out of the room, falling with a crash upon the
landing. Then from her and the child arose a most terrific uproar of
commination; both together yelled such foulness and blasphemy as can
only be conceived by those who have made a special study of this
vocabulary, and the vituperation of the child was, if anything,
richer in quality than the mother's. The former, moreover, did not
confine herself to words, but all at once sent her clenched fist
through every pain of glass in the window, heedless of the fearful
cuts she inflicted upon herself, and uttering a wild yell of triumph
at each fracture. Mr. Woodstock was too late to save his property,
but he caught up the creature like a doll, and flung her out also on
to the landing, then coolly locked the door behind him, put the key
in his pocket, and, letting Waymark pass on first, descended the
stairs. The yelling and screeching behind them continued as long as
they were in the Court, but it drew no attention from the
neighbours, who were far too accustomed to this kind of thing to
heed it.

In the last house they had to enter they came upon a man asleep on a
bare bedstead. It was difficult to wake him. When at length he was
aroused, he glared at them for a moment with one blood-shot eye (the
other was sightless), looking much like a wild beast which doubts
whether to spring or to shrink back.

"Rent, Slimy," said Mr. Woodstock with more of good humour than
usual.

The man pointed to the mantelpiece, where the pieces of money were
found to be lying. Waymark looked round the room. Besides the
bedstead, a table was the only article of furniture, and on it stood
a dirty jug and a glass. Lying about was a strange collection of
miscellaneous articles, heaps of rags and dirty paper, bottles,
boots, bones. There were one or two chairs in process of being
new-caned; there was a wooden frame for holding glass, such as is
carried about by itinerant glaziers, and, finally, there was a
knife-grinding instrument, adapted for wheeling about the streets.
The walls were all scribbled over with obscene words and drawings.
On the inside of the door had been fitted two enormous bolts, one
above and one below.

"How's trade, Slimy?" inquired Mr. Woodstock.

"Which trade, Mr. Woodstock?" asked the man in return, in a very
husky voice.

"Oh, trade in general."

"There never was sich times since old Scratch died," replied Slimy,
shaking his head. "No chance for a honest man."

"Then you're in luck. This is the new collector, d'you see."

"I've been a-looking at him," said Slimy, whose one eye, for all
that, had seemed busy all the time in quite a different direction.
"I seen him somewheres, but I can't just make out where."

"Not many people you haven't seen, I think," said Abraham, nodding,
as he went out of the room. Waymark followed, and was glad to get
into the open streets again.





CHAPTER XIII

A MAN-TRAP




Julian Casti was successful in his application for the post of
dispenser at the All Saints' Hospital, and shortly after Easter he
left the shop in Oxford Street, taking lodgings in Beaufort Street,
Chelsea. His first evening there was spent in Waymark's company, and
there was much talk of the progress his writing would make, now that
his hours of liberty were so considerably extended. For the first
time in his life he was enjoying the sense of independence. Waymark
talked of moving from Walcot Square, in order to be nearer to his
friend. He, too, was possessed of more freedom than had been the
case for a long time, and his head was full of various fancies. They
would encourage each other in their work, afford by mutual
appreciation that stimulus which is so essential to the young
artist.

But in this world, though man may propose, it is woman who disposes.
And at this moment, Julian's future was being disposed of in a
manner he could not well have foreseen.

Harriet Smales had heard with unconcealed pleasure of his leaving
the shop and taking lodgings of his own. She had been anxious to
come and see the rooms, and, though the following Sunday was
appointed for her visit, she could not wait so long, but, to her
cousin's surprise, presented herself at the house one evening, and
was announced by the landlady, who looked suspicious. Julian, with
some nervousness, hastened to explain that the visitor was a
relative, which did not in the least alter his landlady's
preconceived ideas. Harriet sat down and looked about her with a
sigh of satisfaction. If she could but have such a home! Girls had
no chance of getting on as men did. If only her father could have
lived, things would have been different. Now she was thrown on the
world, and had to depend upon her own hard work. Then she gave way
to an hysterical sob, and Julian--who felt sure that the landlady
was listening at the door--could only beg her nervously not to be
so down-hearted.

"Whatever success I have," he said to her, "you will share it."

"If I thought so!" she sighed, looking down at the floor, and moving
the point of her umbrella up and down. Harriet had saturated her
mind with the fiction of penny weeklies, and owed to this training
all manner of awkward affectations which she took to be the most
becoming manifestations of a susceptible heart. At times she would
express herself in phrases of the most absurdly high-flown kind, and
lately she had got into the habit of heaving profound sighs between
her sentences. Julian was not blind to the meaning of all this. His
active employments during the past week had kept his thoughts from
brooding on the matter, and he had all but dismissed the trouble it
had given him. But this visit, and Harriet's demeanour throughout
it, revived all his anxieties. He came back from accompanying his
cousin part of her way home in a very uneasy frame of mind. What
could he do to disabuse the poor girl of the unhappy hopes she
entertained? The thought of giving pain to any most humble creature
was itself a pain unendurable to Julian. His was one of those
natures to which self-sacrifice is infinitely easier than the idea
of sacrificing another to his own desires or even necessities, a
vice of weakness often more deeply and widely destructive than the
vices of strength.

The visit having been paid, it was arranged that on the following
Sunday Julian should meet his cousin at the end of Gray's Inn Road
as usual. On that day the weather was fine, but Harriet came out in
no mood for a walk. She had been ailing for a day or two, she said,
and felt incapable of exertion; Mrs. Ogle was away from home for the
day, too, and it would be better they should spend the afternoon
together in the house. Julian of course assented, as always, and
they established themselves in the parlour behind the shop. In the
course of talk, the girl made mention of an engraving Julian had
given her a week or two before, and said that she had had it framed
and hung it in her bed-room.

"Do come up and look at it," she exclaimed; "there's no one in the
house. I want to ask you if you can find a better place for it. It
doesn't show so well where it is."

Julian hesitated for a moment, but she was already leading the way,
and he could not refuse to follow. They went up to the top of the
house, and entered a little chamber which might have been more tidy,
but was decently furnished. The bed was made in a slovenly way, the
mantelpiece was dusty, and the pictures on the walls hung askew.
Harriet closed the door behind them, and proceeded to point out the
new picture, and discuss the various positions which had occurred to
her. Julian would have decided the question as speedily as possible,
and once or twice moved to return downstairs, but each time the girl
found something new to detain him. Opening a drawer, she took out
several paltry little ornaments, which she wished him to admire,
and, in showing them, stood very close by his side. All at once the
door of the room was pushed open, and a woman ran in. On seeing the
stranger present, she darted back with an exclamation of surprise.

"Oh, Miss Smales, I didn't know as you wasn't alone! I heard you
moving about, and come just to arst you to lend me--but never
mind, I'm so sorry; why didn't you lock the door?"

And she bustled out again, apparently in much confusion.

Harriet had dropped the thing she held in her hand, and stood
looking at her cousin as if dismayed.

"I never thought any one was in," she said nervously. "It's Miss
Mould, the lodger. She went out before I did, and I never heard her
come back. Whatever will she think!"

"But of course," he stammered, "you will explain everything to her.
She knows who I am, doesn't she?"

"I don't think so, and, even if she did--"

She stopped, and stood with eyes on the ground, doing her best to
display maiden confusion. Then she began to cry.

"But surely, surely there is no need to trouble yourself," exclaimed
Julian, almost distracted, beginning to be dimly conscious of all
manner of threatening possibilities. "I will speak to the woman
myself, and clear you of every--. Oh, but this is all nonsense.
Let us go down at once, Harriet. What a pity you asked me to come up
here!"

It was the nearest to a reproach that he had ever yet addressed to
her. His face showed clearly how distressed he was, and that on his
own account more than hers, for he could not conceive any blame save
on himself for being so regardless of appearances.

"Go as quietly as ever you can," Harriet whispered. "The stairs
creak so. Step very softly."

This was terrible to the poor fellow. To steal down in this guilty
way was as bad as a confession of evil intentions, and he so
entirely innocent of a shadow of evil even in his thought. Yet he
could not but do as she bade him. Even on the stairs she urged him
in a very loud whisper to be yet more cautious. He was out of
himself with mortification; and felt angry with her for bringing him
into such ignominy. In the back parlour once more, he took up his
hat at once.

"You mustn't go yet," whispered Harriet. "I'm sure that woman's
listening on the stairs. You must talk a little. Let's talk so she
can hear us. Suppose she should tell Mrs. Ogle."

"I can't see that it matters," said Julian, with annoyance. "I will
myself see Mrs. Ogle."

"No, no! The idea! I should have to leave at once. Whatever shall I
do if she turns me away, and won't give me a reference or anything!"

Even in a calmer mood, Julian's excessive delicacy would have
presented an affair of this kind in a grave light to him; at present
he was wholly incapable of distinguishing between true and false, or
of gauging these fears at their true value. The mere fact of the
girl making so great a matter out of what should have been so easy
to explain and have done with, caused an exaggeration of the
difficulty in his own mind. He felt that he ought of course to
justify himself before Mrs. Ogle, and would have been capable of
doing so had only Harriet taken the same sensible view; but her
apparent distress seemed--even to him--so much more like
conscious guilt than troubled innocence, that such a task would cost
him the acutest suffering. For nearly an hour he argued with her,
trying to convince her how impossible it was that the woman who had
surprised them should harbour any injurious suspicions.

"But she knows--" began Harriet, and then stopped, her eyes
falling.

"What does she know?" demanded her cousin in surprise; but could get
no reply to his question. However, his arguments seemed at length to
have a calming effect, and, as he took leave, he even affected to
laugh at the whole affair. For all that, he had never suffered such
mental trouble in his life as during this visit and throughout the
evening which followed. The mere thought of having been obliged to
discuss such things with his cousin filled him with inexpressible
shame and misery. Waymark came to spend the evening with him, but
found poor entertainment. Several times Julian was on the point of
relating what had happened, and asking for advice, but he found it
impossible to broach the subject. There was an ever-recurring anger
against Harriet in his mind, too, for which at the same time he
reproached himself. He dreaded the next meeting between them.

Harriet, though herself quite innocent of fine feeling and nice
complexities of conscience, was well aware of the existence of such
properties in her cousin. She neither admired nor despised him for
possessing them; they were of unknown value, indifferent to her,
indeed, until she became aware of the practical use that might be
made of them. Like most narrow-minded girls, she became a shrewd
reader of character, when her affections and interests were
concerned, and could calculate Julian's motives, and the course
wherein they would lead him, with much precision. She knew too well
that he did not care for her in the way she desired, but at the same
time she knew that he was capable of making almost any sacrifice to
spare her humiliation and trouble, especially if he felt that her
unhappiness was in any way caused by himself.

Thus it came about that, on the Tuesday evening of the ensuing week,
Julian was startled by his landlady's announcing another visit from
Miss Smales. Harriet came into the room with a veil over her face,
and sank on a chair, sobbing. What she had feared had come to pass.
The lodger had told Mrs. Ogle of what had taken place in her absence
on the Sunday afternoon, and Harriet had received notice that she
must find another place at once. Mrs. Ogle was a woman of severe
virtue, and would not endure the suspicion of wrong-doing under her
roof. To whom could she come for advice and help, but to Julian?

Julian was overwhelmed. His perfectly sincere nature was incapable
of suspecting a far more palpable fraud. He started up with the
intention of going forthwith to Gray's Inn Road, but Harriet clung
to him and held him back. The idea was vain. The lodger, Miss Mould,
had long entertained a spite against her, Harriet said, and had so
exaggerated this story in relating it to Mrs. Ogle, that the latter,
and her husband, had declared that Casti should not as much as put
foot in their shop again.

"If you only knew what they've been told!" sobbed the girl, still
clinging to Julian. "They wouldn't listen to a word you said. As if
I could have thought of such a thing happening, and that woman to
say all the bad things of us she can turn her tongue to! I sha'n't
never get another place; I'm thrown out on the wide world!"

It was a phrase she had got out of her penny fiction; and very
remarkable indeed was the mixture of acting and real sentiment which
marked her utterances throughout.

Julian's shame and anger began to turn to compassion. A woman in
tears was a sight which always caused him the keenest distress.

"But," he cried, with tears in his own eyes, "it is impossible that
you should suffer all this through me, and I not even make an
attempt to clear you of such vile charges!"

"It was my own fault. I was thoughtless. I ought to have known that
people's always ready to think harm. But I think of nothing when I'm
with you, Julian!"

He had disengaged himself from her hands, and was holding one of
them in his own. But, as she made this last confession, she threw
her arms about his neck and drooped her head against his bosom.

"Oh, if you only felt to me like I do to you!" she sobbed.

No man can hear without some return of emotion a confession from a
woman's lips that she loves him. Harriet was the only girl whom
Julian had ever approached in familiar intercourse; she had no rival
to fear amongst living women; the one rival to be dreaded was
altogether out of the sphere of her conceptions,--the ideal love
of a poet's heart and brain. But the ideal is often least present to
us when most needed. Here was love; offer but love to a poet, and
does he pause to gauge its quality? The sudden whirl of conflicting
emotions left Julian at the mercy of the instant's impulse. She was
weak; she was suffering through him; she loved him.

"Be my wife, then," he whispered, returning her embrace, "and let me
guard you from all who would do you harm."

She uttered a cry of delight, and the cry was a true one.





CHAPTER XIV

NEAR AND FAR




Osmond Waymark was light-hearted; and with him such a state meant
something not at all to be understood by those with whom lightness
of heart is a chronic affection. The man who dwells for long periods
face to face with the bitter truths of life learns so to distrust a
fleeting moment of joy, gives habitually so cold a reception to the
tardy messenger of delight, that, when the bright guest outdares his
churlishness and perforce tarries with him, there ensues a
passionate revulsion unknown to hearts which open readily to every
fluttering illusive bliss. Illusion it of course remains; is ever
recognised as that; but illusion so sweet and powerful that he
thanks the god that blinds him, and counts off with sighs of joy the
hours thus brightly winged.

He awaited with extreme impatience the evening on which he would
again see Ida. Distrustful always, he could not entirely dismiss the
fear that his first impressions might prove mistaken in the second
interview; yet he tried his best to do so, and amused himself with
imagining for Ida a romantic past, for her and himself together a
yet more romantic future. In spite of the strange nature of their
relations, he did not delude himself with the notion that the girl
had fallen in love with him at first sight, and that she stood
before him to take or reject as he chose. He had a certain awe of
her. He divined in her a strength of character which made her his
equal; it might well be, his superior. Take, for instance, the
question of the life she was at present leading. In the case of an
ordinary pretty and good-natured girl falling in his way as Ida
Starr had done, he would have exerted whatever influence he might
acquire over her to persuade her into better paths. Any such direct
guidance was, he felt, out of the question here. The girl had
independence of judgment; she would resent anything said by him on
the assumption of her moral inferiority, and, for aught he knew,
with justice. The chances were at least as great that he might prove
unworthy of her, as that she should prove unworthy of him.

When he presented himself at the house in the little court by Temple
Bar, it was the girl Sally who opened the door to him. She beckoned
him to follow, and ran before him upstairs. The sitting-room
presented the same comfortable appearance, and Grim, rising lazily
from the hearthrug, came forward purring a welcome, but Ida was not
there.

"She was obliged to go out," said Sally, in answer to his look of
inquiry. "She won't be long, and she said you was to make yourself
comfortable till she came back."

On a little side-table stood cups and saucers, and a box of cigars.
The latter Sally brought forward.

"I was to ask you to smoke, and whether you'd like a cup of coffee
with it?" she asked, with the curious _naivete_ which marked her
mode of speech.

"The kettle's boiling on the side," she added, seeing that Waymark
hesitated. "I can make it in a minute."

"In that case, I will."

"You don't mind me having one as well?"

"Of course not."

"Shall I talk, or shall I keep quiet? I'm not a servant here, you
know," she added, with an amusing desire to make her position clear.
"Ida and me's friends, and she'd do just as much for I."

"Talk by all means," said Waymark, smiling, as he lit his cigar. The
result was that, in a quarter of an hour Sally had related her whole
history. As Ida had said, she came from Weymouth, where her father
was a fisherman, and owner of bum-boats. Her mother kept a laundry,
and the family had all lived together in easy circumstances. She
herself had come to London--well, just for a change. And what was
she doing? Oh, getting her living as best she could. In the day-time
she worked in a city workroom.

"And how much do you think I earn a week?" she asked.

"Fifteen shillings or so, I suppose?"

"Ah, that's all you know about it! Now, last week was the best I've
had yet, and I made seven shillings."

"What do you do?"

"Machine work; makin' ulsters. How much do you think we get, now,
for makin' a ulster--one like this?" pointing to one which hung
behind the door.

"Have no idea."

"Well,--_fourpence_: there now!"

"And how many can you make in a day?"

"I can't make no more than two. Some make three, but it's blessed
hard work. But I get a little job now and then to do at home."

"But you can't live on seven shillings a week?"

"I sh'd think not, indeed. We have to make up the rest as best we
can, s'nough."

"But your employers must know that?"

"In course. What's the odds? All us girls are the same; we have to
keep on the two jobs at the same time. But I'll give up the day-work
before long, s'nough. I come home at night that tired out I ain't
fit for nothing. I feel all eyes, as the sayin' is. And it's hard to
have to go out into the Strand, when you're like that."

"But do they know about all this at home?"

"No fear! If our father knew, he'd be down here precious soon, and
the house wouldn't hold him. But I shall go back some day, when I've
got a good fit-out."

The door opened quietly, and Ida came in.

"Well, young people, so you are making yourselves at home."

The sweet face, the eyes and lips with their contained mirth, the
light, perfect form, the graceful carriage,--Waymark felt his
pulses throb at the sound of her voice and the touch of her hand.

"You didn't mind waiting a little for me? I really couldn't help it.
And then, after all, I thought you mightn't come."

"But I promised to."

"Promises, promises, oh dear!" laughed Ida. "Sally, here's an orange
for you."

"You _are_ a duck!" was the girl's reply, as she caught it, and,
with a nod to Waymark, left the room.

"And so you've really come," Ida went on, sitting down and beginning
to draw off her gloves.

"You find it surprising? To begin with, I have come to pay my
debts."

"Is there another cup of coffee?" she asked, seeming not to have
heard. "I'm too tired to get up and see."

Waymark felt a keen delight in waiting upon her, in judging to a
nicety the true amount of sugar and cream, in drawing the little
table just within her reach.

"Mr. Waymark," she exclaimed, all at once, "if you had had supper
with a friend, and your friend had paid the bill, should you take
out your purse and pay him back at your next meeting?"

"It would depend entirely on circumstances."

"Just so. Then the present circumstances don't permit anything of
the kind, and there's an end of _that_ matter. Light another cigar,
will you?"

"You don't dislike the smoke?"

"If I did, I should say so."

Having removed her outer garments one by one, she rose and took them
into the inner room. On reappearing, she went to the sitting-room
door and turned the key in the lock.

"Could you let me have some more books to read?" she asked.

"I have brought one, thinking you might be ready for it."

It was "Jane Eyre." She glanced over the pages eagerly.

"I don't know how it is," she said, "I have grown so hungry for
reading of late. Till just now I never cared for it. When I was a
child and went to school, I didn't like my lessons. Still I learned
a good deal, for a little girl, and it has stayed by me. And oh, it
seems so long ago! Never mind, perhaps I will tell you all about
that some day."

They were together for an hour or so. Waymark, uneasily watching his
companion's every movement, rose as soon as she gave sign of
weariness, and Ida did not seek to detain him.

"I shall think much of you," he said.

"The less the better," was Ida's reply.

For his comfort, yes,--Waymark thought, as he walked homewards.
Ida had already a dangerous hold upon him; she possessed his senses,
and set him on fire with passionate imaginings. Here, as on every
hand, his cursed poverty closed against him the possibilities of
happiness. That she should ever come to love him, seemed very
unlikely; the alliance between them could only be a mere caprice on
her part, such as girls of her kind are very subject to; he might
perhaps fill up her intervals of tedium, but would have no share in
her real life. And the thought of that life fevered him with
jealousy. She might say what she liked about never having known
love, but it was of course impossible that she should not have a
preference among her lovers. And to think of the chances before such
a girl, so blessed with rare beauty and endless charms. In the
natural order of events she would become the mistress of some rich
man; might even, as at times happens, be rescued by marriage; in
either case, their acquaintance must cease. And, indeed, what right
had he to endeavour to gain her love having nothing but mere
beggarly devotion to offer her in return? He had not even the excuse
of one who could offer her married life in easy circumstances,--
supposing that to be an improvement on her present position. Would
it not be better at once to break off these impossible relations?
How often he had promised himself, in moments of clear thought,
never again to enter on a course which would obviously involve him
in futile suffering. Why had he not now the strength to obey his
reason, and continue to possess his soul in the calm of which he had
enjoyed a brief taste?

The novel circumstances of the past week had almost driven from his
mind all thought of Maud Enderby. He regretted having asked and
obtained permission to write to her. She seemed so remote from him,
their meeting so long past. What could there be in common between
himself and that dim, quiet little girl, who had excited his
sympathy merely because her pretty face was made sad by the same
torments which had afflicted him? He needed some strong, vehement,
original nature, such as Ida Starr's; how would Maud's timid
conventionality--doubtless she was absolutely conventional--suit
with the heresies of which he was all compact? Still, he could not
well ignore what had taken place between them, and, after all, there
would be a certain pleasant curiosity in awaiting her reply. In any
case, he would write just such a letter as came naturally from him.
If she were horrified, well, there was an end of the matter.

Accordingly, he sat down on the morning after his visit to Ida, and,
after a little difficulty in beginning, wrote a long letter. It was
mainly occupied with a description of his experiences in Litany Lane
and Elm Court. He made no apology for detailing such unpleasant
matters, and explained that he would henceforth be kept in pretty
close connection with this unknown world. Even this, he asserted,
was preferable to the world of Dr. Tootle's Academy. Then he dwelt a
little on the contrast between this life of his and that which Maud
was doubtless leading in her home on the Essex coast; and finally he
hoped she would write to him when she found leisure, and be able to
let him know that she was no longer so unhappy as formerly.

This he posted on Friday. On the following Monday morning, the post
brought two letters for him, both addressed in female hand, one
bearing a city, the other a country, post-mark. Waymark smiled as he
compared the two envelopes, on one of which his name stood in firm,
upright characters, on the other in slender, sloping, delicate
writing. The former he pressed to his lips, then tore open eagerly;
it was the promised intimation that Ida would be at home after eight
o'clock on Wednesday and Friday evenings, nothing more. The second
letter he allowed to lie by till he had breakfasted. He could see
that it contained more than one sheet. When at length he opened it,
he read this:--

"DEAR MR. WAYMARK,--I have an hour of freedom this Sunday afternoon, and
I will spend it in replying as well as I can to your very interesting
letter. My life is, as you say, very quiet and commonplace compared with
that you find yourself suddenly entering upon. I have no such strange
and moving things to write about, but I will tell you in the first place
how I live and what I do, then put down some of the thoughts your letter
has excited in me.

"The family I am with consists of very worthy but commonplace
people. They treat me with more consideration than I imagine
governesses usually get, and I am grateful to them for this, but
their conversation, especially that of Mrs. Epping, I find rather
wearisome. It deals with very trivial concerns of everyday life, in
which I vainly endeavour to interest myself.

"Then there is the religious formalism of the Eppings and their
friends. They are High Church. They discuss with astonishing vigour
and at dreadful length what seems to me the most immaterial points
in the Church service, and just at present an impulse is given to
their zeal by the fact of their favourite clergyman being threatened
with a prosecution for ritualistic practices. Of course I have to
feign a becoming interest in all this, and to take part in all their
religious forms and ceremonies. And indeed it is all so new to me
that I have scarcely yet got over the first feelings of wonder and
curiosity.

"Have I not, then, you will ask, the courage of my opinions? But
indeed my religious opinions are so strangely different from those
which prevail here, that I fear it would be impossible to make my
thoughts clear to these good people. They would scarcely esteem me a
Christian; and yet I cannot but think that it is they who are widely
astray from Christian belief and practice. The other evening the
clergyman dined with us, and throughout the meal discussions of the
rubric alternated with talk about delicacies of the table! That the
rubric should be so interesting amazes me, but that an earnest
Christian should think it compatible with his religion to show the
slightest concern in what he shall eat or drink is unspeakably
strange to me. Surely, if Christianity means anything it means
asceticism. My experience of the world is so slight. I believe this
is the first clergyman I ever met in private life. Surely they
cannot all be thus?

"I knew well how far the world at large had passed from true
Christianity; that has been impressed upon me from my childhood. But
how strange it seems to me to hear proposed as a remedy the
formalism to which my friends here pin their faith! How often have I
burned to speak up among them, and ask--'What think ye, then, of
Christ? Is He, or is He not, our exemplar? Was not His life meant to
exhibit to us the ideal of the completest severance from the world
which is consistent with human existence? To follow Him, should we
not, at least in the spirit, cast off everything which may tempt us
to consider life, as life, precious?' We cannot worship both God and
the world, and yet nowadays Christians seem to make a merit of doing
so. When I conceive a religious revival, my thought does not in the
least concern itself with forms and ceremonies. I imagine another
John the Baptist inciting the people, with irresistible fervour, to
turn from their sins--that is, from the world and all its concerns
--and to purify themselves by Renunciation. What they call
'Progress,' I take to be the veritable Kingdom of Antichrist. The
world is evil, life is evil; only by renunciation of the very desire
for life can we fulfil the Christian idea. What then of the
civilisation which endeavours to make the world more and more
pleasant as a dwelling-place, life more and more desirable for its
own sake?

"And so I come to the contents of your own letter. You say you
marvel that these wretched people you visited do not, in a wild
burst of insurrection, overthrow all social order, and seize for
themselves a fair share of the world's goods. I marvel also;--all
the more that their very teachers in religion seem to lay such
stress on the joys of life. And yet what profit would a real
Christian preacher draw for them from this very misery of their
existence! He would teach them that herein lay their supreme
blessing, not their curse; that in their poverty and nakedness lay
means of grace and salvation such as the rich can scarcely by any
means attain to; that they should proudly, devoutly, accept their
heritage of woe, and daily thank God for depriving them of all that
can make life dear. Only awaken the spirit in these poor creatures,
and how near might they be to the true Kingdom of Heaven! And surely
such a preacher will yet arise, and there will be a Reformation very
different from the movement we now call by that name. But I weary
you, perhaps. It may be you have no interest in all this. Yet I
think you would wish me to write from what I am.

"It would interest me to hear your further experiences in the new
work. Believe me to be your sincere friend,

"MAUD ENDERBY."

Waymark read, and thought, and wondered.

Then it was time to go and collect his rents.





CHAPTER XV

UP THE RIVER




Here is an extract from a letter written by Julian Casti to Waymark
in the month of May. By this time they were living near to each
other, but something was about to happen which Julian preferred to
communicate in writing.

"This will be the beginning of a new life for me. Already I have
felt a growth in my power of poetical production. Verse runs
together in my thoughts without effort; I feel ready for some really
great attempt. Have you not noticed something of this in me these
last few days? Come and see me to-night, if you can, and rejoice
with me."

This meant that Julian was about to be married. Honeymoon journey
was out of the question for him. He and his wife established
themselves in the lodgings which he was already occupying. And the
new life began.

Waymark had made Harriet's acquaintance a couple of weeks before;
Julian had brought her with him one Sunday to his friend's room. She
was then living alone, having quitted Mrs. Ogle the day after that
decisive call upon Julian. There was really no need for her to have
done so, Mrs. Ogle's part in the comedy being an imaginary one of
Harriet's devising. But Julian was led entirely by his cousin, and,
as she knew quite well, there was not the least danger of his going
on his own account to the shop in Gray's Inn Road; he dreaded the
thought of such an interview.

Waymark was not charmed with Miss Smales; the more he thought of
this marriage, the more it amazed him; for, of course, he deemed it
wholly of his friend's bringing about.

The marriage affected their intercourse. Harriet did not like to be
left alone in the evening, so Julian could not go to Waymark's, as
he had been accustomed to, and conversation in Mrs. Casti's presence
was, of course, under restraint. Waymark bore this with impatience,
and even did his best to alter it. One Sunday afternoon, about three
weeks after the marriage, he called and carried Julian off to his
room across the street. Harriet's face sufficiently indicated her
opinion of this proceeding, and Julian had difficulty m appearing at
his case. Waymark understood what was going on, and tried to discuss
the matter freely, but the other shrank from it.

"I am grievously impatient of domestic arrangements," Waymark said.
"I fancy it would never do for me to marry, unless I had limitless
cash, and my wife were as great a Bohemian as myself. By the by, I
have another letter from Maud. Her pessimism is magnificent. This
intense religiousness is no doubt a mere phase; it will pass, of
course; I wonder how things would arrange themselves if she came
back to London. Why shouldn't she come here to sit and chat, like
you do?"

"That would naturally lead to something definite," said Casti,
smiling.

"Oh, I don't know. Why should it? I'm a believer in friendship
between men and women. Of course there is in it the spice of the
difference of sex, and why not accept that as a pleasant thing? How
much better if, when we met a woman we liked, we could say frankly,
'Now let us amuse each other without any _arriere pensee_. If I
married you to-day, even though I feel quite ready to, I should ten
to one see some one next week who would make me regret having bound
myself. So would you, my dear. Very well, let us tantalise each
other agreeably, and be at ease in the sense that we are on the
right side of the illusion.' You laugh at the idea?"

Julian laughed, but not heartily. They passed to other things.

"I'm making an article out of Elm Court," said Waymark.
"Semi-descriptive, semi-reflective, wholly cynical Maybe it will pay
for my summer holiday. And, apropos of the same subject, I've got
great ideas. This introduction to such phases of life will prove
endlessly advantageous to me, artistically speaking. Let me get a
little more experience, and I will write a novel such as no one has
yet ventured to write, at all events in England. I begin to see my
way to magnificent effects; ye gods, such light and shade! The fact
is, the novel of every-day life is getting worn out. We must dig
deeper, get to untouched social strata. Dickens felt this, but he
had not the courage to face his subjects; his monthly numbers had to
lie on the family tea-table. Not _virginibus puerisque_ will be my
book, I assure you, but for men and women who like to look beneath
the surface, and who understand that only as artistic material has
human life any significance. Yes, that is the conclusion I am
working round to. The artist is the only sane man. Life for its own
sake?--no; I would drink a pint of laudanum to-night. But life as
the source of splendid pictures, inexhaustible material for effects
--_that_ can reconcile me to existence, and that only. It is a
delight followed by no bitter after-taste, and the only such delight
I know."

Harriet was very quiet when Julian returned. She went about getting
the tea with a sort of indifference; she let a cup fall and break,
but made no remark, and left her husband to pick up the pieces.

"Waymark thinks I'm neglecting him," said Julian, with a laugh, as
they sat down together.

"It's better to neglect him than to neglect me, I should think," was
Harriet's reply, in a quiet ill-natured tone which she was mistress
of.

"But couldn't we find out some way of doing neither, dear?" went on
Julian, playing with his spoon. "Now suppose I give him a couple of
hours one evening every week? You could spare that, couldn't you?
Say, from eight to ten on Wednesdays?"

"I suppose you'll go if you want to." said Harriet, rising from the
tea-table, and taking a seat sulkily by the window.

"Come, come, we won't say any more about it, if it's so disagreeable
to you," said Julian, going up to her, and coaxing her back to her
place. "You don't feel well to-day, do you? I oughtn't to have left
you this afternoon, but it was difficult to refuse, wasn't it?"

"He had no business to ask you to go. He could see I didn't like
it."

Waymark grew so accustomed to receiving Ida's note each Monday morning,
that when for the first time it failed to conic he was troubled
seriously. It happened, too, that he was able to attach a particular
significance to the omission. When they had last parted, instead of just
pressing her hand as usual, he had raised it to his lips. She frowned
and turned quickly away, saying no word. He had offended her by this
infringement of the conditions of their friendship; for once before,
when he had uttered a word which implied more than she was willing to
allow, Ida had engaged him in the distinct agreement that he should
never do or say anything that approached love-making. As, moreover, it
was distinctly understood that he should never visit her save at times
previously appointed, he could not see her till she chose to write.
After waiting in the vain expectation of some later post bringing news,
he himself wrote, simply asking the cause of her silence. The reply came
speedily.

"I have no spare time in the week. I thought you would understand this.

I. S."

It was her custom to write without any formal beginning or ending; yet
Waymark felt that this note was briefer than it would have been, had all
been as usual between them. The jealousy which now often tortured him
awoke with intolerable vehemence. He spent a week of misery.

But late on Saturday evening came a letter addressed in the
well-known hand. It said--

"Sally and I are going up the river to-morrow, if it is fine. Do you
care to meet us on the boat which reaches Chelsea Pier at 10.30?

I. S."

It seemed he did care; at all events he was half an hour too soon at the
pier. As the boat approached his eye soon singled out two very
quietly-dressed girls, who sat with their backs to him, and neither
turned nor made any sign of expecting any addition to their party. With
like undemonstrativeness he took a seat at Ida's side, and returned
Sally's nod and smile. Ida merely said "Good morning;" there was nothing
of displeasure on her face, however, and when he began to speak of
indifferent things she replied with the usual easy friendliness.

It was the first time he had seen her by daylight. He had been
uncertain whether she used any artificial colour on her cheeks;
seemingly she did, for now she looked much paler than usual. But the
perfect clearness of her complexion, the lustre of her eyes,
appeared to indicate complete health. She breathed the fresh sun-lit
air with frank enjoyment, and smiled to herself at objects on either
side of the river.

"By the by," Waymark said, when no words had been exchanged for some
minutes, "you didn't tell me where you were going; so I took no
ticket, and left matters to fate."

"Are you a good walker?" Ida asked.

"Fairly good, I flatter myself."

"Then this is what I propose. It's a plan I carried out two or three
times by myself last summer, and enjoyed. We get off at Putney, walk
through Roehampton, then over the park into Richmond. By that time
we shall be ready for dinner, and I know a place where we can have
it in comfort."

There was little thought of weariness throughout the delightful
walk. All three gave themselves up for the time to simple enjoyment;
their intercourse became that of children; the troubles of passion,
the miseries of self-consciousness, the strain of mutual observation
fell from them as the city dropped behind; they were once more
creatures for whom the external world alone had reality. There was a
glorious June sky; there were country roads scented with flower and
tree; the wide-gleaming common with its furze and bramble; then the
great park, with felled trunks to rest upon, and prospects of
endlessly-varied green to soothe the eye. The girls exhibited their
pleasure each in her own way. Sally threw off restraint, and sprang
about in free happiness, like one of the young roes, the sight of
which made her utter cries like a delighted child. She remembered
scenes of home, and chattered in her dialect of people and places
strange enough to both her companions. She was in constant
expectation of catching a glimpse of the sea; in spite of all
warnings it was a great surprise and disappointment to her that
Richmond Hill did not end in cliffs and breakers. Ida talked less,
but every now and then laughed in her deep enjoyment. She had no
reminiscence of country life it was enough that all about her was
new and fresh and pure; nothing to remind her of Regent Street and
the Strand. Waymark talked of he knew not what, cheerful things that
came by chance to his tongue, trifling stories, descriptions of
places, ideal plans for spending of ideal holidays; but nothing of
London, nothing of what at other times his thoughts most ran upon.
He came back to himself now and then, and smiled as he looked at the
girls, but this happened seldom.

The appetites of all three were beyond denying when they had passed
the "Star and Garter" and began to walk down into the town. Waymark
wondered whither their guide would lead them, but asked no
questions. To his surprise, Ida stopped at a small inn half way down
the hill.

"You are to go straight in," she said, with a smile, to Waymark,
"and are to tell the first person you meet that three people want
dinner. There's no choice--roast beef and vegetables, and some
pudding or other afterwards. Then you are to walk straight upstairs,
as if you knew your way, and we will follow."

These directions were obeyed, with the result that all reached an
upper chamber, wherein a table was cleanly and comfortably laid, as
if expecting them. French windows led out on to a quaint little
verandah at the back of the house, and the view thence was perfect.
The river below, winding between wooded banks, and everywhere the
same splendour of varied green which had delighted their eyes all
the morning. Just below the verandah was the tiled roof of an
outhouse, whereon lay a fine black and white cat, basking in the hot
sun. Ida clapped her hands.

"He's like poor old Grim," she cried. Then, turning to Waymark: "If
you are good, you may bring out a chair and smoke a cigar here after
dinner."

They had just began to eat, when footsteps were heard coining up the
stairs.

"Oh bother!" exclaimed Sally. "There's some one else a-comin',
s'nough."

There was. The door opened, and two gentlemen walked in. Waymark
looked up, and to his astonishment recognised his old friends O'Gree
and Egger. Mr. O'Gree was mopping his face with a handkerchief, and
looked red and hungry; Mr. Egger was resplendent in a very
broad-brimmed straw hat, the glistening newness of which contrasted
with the rest of his attire, which had known no variation since his
first arrival at Dr. Tootle's. He, too, was perspiring profusely,
and, as he entered, was just in the act of taking out the great
yellow handkerchief which Waymark had seen him chewing so often in
the bitterness of his spirit.

"Hollo, Waymark, is it you?" cried Mr. O'Gree, forgetting the
presence of the strangers in his astonishment. "Sure, and they told
us we'd find a _gentleman_ here."

"And I was the last person you would have thought of as answering
that description?"

"Well, no, I didn't mean that. I meant there was no mention of the
ladies."

Waymark flashed a question at Ida with his eyes, and understood her
assent in the smile and slight motion of the head.

"Then let me introduce you to the ladies."

The new-comers accordingly made the acquaintance of Miss Starr and
Miss Fisher (that was Sally's name), and took seats at the table, to
await the arrival of their dinners. Both were on their good
behaviour. Mr. O'Gree managed to place himself at Sally's left hand,
and led the conversation with the natural ease of an Irishman,
especially delighted if Sally herself seemed to appreciate his
efforts to be entertaining.

"Now, who'd have thought of the like of this." he exclaimed. "And we
came in here by the merest chance; sure, there's a fatality in these
things. We've walked all the way from Hammersmith."

"And we from Putney," said Waymark.

"You don't mean it? It's been a warm undertaking."

"How did you find the walk, Mr. Egger?"

"Bedad," replied that gentleman, who had got hold of his friend's
exclamation, and used it with killing effect; "I made my possible,
but, bedad, I could not much more."

"You both look warm," Waymark observed, smiling. "I fear you
hurried. You should have been leisurely, as we were."

"Now that's cruel, Waymark. You needn't have reflected upon our
solitariness. If we'd been blessed with society such as you had,
we'd have come slow enough. As it was, we thought a good deal of our
dinners."

No fresh guests appeared to disturb the party. When all had appeased
their hunger, Waymark took a chair out on to the verandah for Ida.
He was spared the trouble of providing in the same way for Sally by
Mr. O'Gree's ready offices. Poor Egger, finding himself deserted,
opened a piano there was in the room, and began to run his finger
over the keys.

"Let us have one of your German songs, my boy," cried O'Gree.

"But it is the Sunday, and we arc still in England," said the Swiss,
hesitating.

"Pooh, never mind," said Waymark. "We'll shut the door. Sing my
favourite, Mr. Egger,--'_Wenn's Mailufterl_.'"

When they left the inn, Waymark walked first with Ida, and Mr.
O'Gree followed with Sally. Egger brought up the rear; he had
relapsed into a dreamy mood, and his mind seemed occupied with
unearthly things.

With no little amusement Waymark had noted Sally's demeanour under
Mr. O'Gree's attentions. The girl had evidently made up her mind to
be absolutely proper. The Irishman's respectful delicacy was
something so new to her and so pleasant, and the question with her
was how she could sufficiently show her appreciation without at the
same time forfeiting his good opinion for becoming modesty. All so
new to her, accustomed to make an art of forwardness, and to school
herself in the endurance of brutality. She was constantly blushing
in the most unfeigned way at his neatly-turned little compliments,
and, when she spoke, did so with a pretty air of self-distrust which
sat quite charmingly on her. Fain, fain would O'Gree have proposed
to journey back to London by the same train, but good taste and good
sense prevailed with him. At the ticket-barrier there was a parting.

"How delightful it would be, Miss Fisher," said Mr. O'Gree, in
something like a whisper, "if this lucky chance happened again. If I
only knew when you were coming again, there's no telling but it
might."

Sally gave her hand, smiled, evidently wished to say something, but
ended by turning away and running after her companions.





CHAPTER XVI

EXAMPLE WITHOUT PRECEPT




Waymark was grateful for the help Mr. Woodstock had given him.
Indeed, the two soon began to get on very well together. In a great
measure, of course, this was due to the change in Waymark's
philosophy; whereas his early idealism had been revolted by what he
then deemed Mr. Woodstock's crass materialism and vulgarity, the
tolerance which had come with widened experience now made him regard
these characteristics with far less certainty of condemnation. He
was often merely amused at what had formerly enraged and disgusted
him. At the same time, there were changes in Abraham himself, no
doubt--at all events in his manner to the young man. He, on his
side, was also far more tolerant than in the days when he had
growled at Osmond for a conceited young puppy.

One Sunday morning in early July, Waymark was sitting alone in his
room, when he noticed that a cab stopped before the house. A minute
after, there was a knock at his door, an d, to his great surprise,
Mr. Woodstock entered, bearing a huge volume in his arms. Abraham
deposited it on a chair, wiped his forehead, and looked round the
room.

"You smoke poor tobacco," was his first remark, as he sniffed the
air.

"Good tobacco happens to be expensive," was the reply. "Will you sit
down?"

"Yes, I will." The chair creaked under him. "And so here you hang
out, eh? Only one room?"

"As you see."

"Devilish unhealthy, I should think."

"But economical."

"Ugh!"

The grunt meant nothing in particular. Waymark was eyeing the mighty
volume on the chair, and had recognised it Some fortnight
previously, he had come upon Abraham, in the latter's study, turning
over a collection of Hogarth's plates, and greatly amusing himself
with the realism which so distinctly appealed to his taste in art.
The book had been pledged in the shop, and by lapse of time was
become Abraham's property. It was the first time that Waymark had
had an opportunity of examining Hogarth; the pictures harmonised
with his mood; they gave him a fresh impulse in the direction his
literary projects were taking. He spent a couple of hours in turning
the leaves, and Mr. Woodstock had observed his enjoyment. What meant
the arrival of the volume here in Beaufort Street?

Abraham lit a cigar, still looking about the room.

"You live alone?" he asked, in a matter-of-fact way.

"At present."

"Ha! Didn't know but you might have found it lonely; I used to, at
your age."

Then, after a short silence--

"By-the-by, it's your birthday."

"How do you know?"

"Well, I shouldn't have done, but for an old letter I turned up by
chance the other day. How old are you?"

"Five-and-twenty."

"H'm. I am sixty-nine. You'll be a wiser man when you get to my age.
--Well, if you can find room anywhere for that book there, perhaps
you'd like to keep it!"

Waymark looked up in astonishment.

"A birthday present!" he exclaimed. "It's ten years since I had one.
Upon my word, I don't well know how to thank you!"

"Do you know what the thing was published at?" asked Abraham in an
off-hand way.

"No."

"Fifty pounds."

"I don't care about the value. It's the kindness. You couldn't have
given me anything, either, that would have delighted me so much."

"All right; keep it, and there's an end of the matter. And what do
you do with yourself all day, eh? I didn't think it very likely I
should find you in."

"I'm writing a novel."

"H'm. Shall you get anything for it?"

"Can't say. I hope so."

"Look here. Why don't you go in for politics?"

"Neither know nor care anything about them."

"Would you like to go into Parliament?"

"Wouldn't go if every borough in England called upon me to-morrow?"

"Why not?"

"Plainly, I think myself too good for such occupation. If you once
succeed in getting _outside_ the world, you have little desire to go
back and join in its most foolish pranks."

"That's all damned nonsense! How can any one be too good to be in
Parliament? The better men you have there, the better the country
will be governed, won't it?"

"Certainly. But the best man, in this case, is the man who sees the
shortest distance before his nose. If you think the world worth all
the trouble it takes to govern it, go in for politics neck and crop,
by all means, and the world will no doubt thank you in its own way."

Abraham looked puzzled, and half disposed to be angry.

"Then you think novel-writing better than governing the country?" he
asked.

"On its own merits, vastly so."

"And suppose there was no government What about your novels then?"

"I'd make a magnificent one out of the spectacle of chaos."

"But you know very well you're talking bosh," exclaimed Abraham,
somewhat discomfited. "There must be government, and there must be
order, say what you like. Its nature that the strong should rule
over the weak, and show them what's for their own good. What else
are we here for? if you're going to be a parson, well and good; then
cry down the world as much as you please, and think only about
heaven and hell. But as far as I can make out, there's government
there too. The devil rebelled and was kicked out. Serve him right If
he wasn't strong enough to hold his own, he'd ought to have kept
quiet."

"You're a Conservative, of course," said Waymark, smiling. "You
believe only in keeping the balance. You don't are about reform."

"Don't be so sure of that Let me have the chance and he power, and
I'd reform hard enough, many a thing."

"Well, one might begin on a small scale. Suppose one took in hand
Litany Lane and Elm Court? Suppose we exert our right as the
stronger, and, to begin with, do a little whitewashing? Then sundry
stairs and ceilings might be looked to. No doubt there'd be
resistance, but on the whole it would be for the people's own good.
A little fresh draining mightn't be amiss, or--"

"What the devil's all this to do with politics?" cried Abraham,
whose face had grown dark.

"I should imagine, a good deal," returned Waymark, knocking out his
pipe. "If you're for government, yen mustn't be above considering
details."

"And so you think you have a hit at me, eh? Nothing of the kind.
These are affairs of private contract, and no concern of government
at all. In private contract a man has only a right to what he's
strong enough to exact If a tenant tells me my houses ain't fit to
live in, I tell him to go where he'll be better off' and I don't
hinder him; I know well enough in a day or two there'll come
somebody else. Ten to one he can't go, and he don't. Then why should
I be at unnecessary expense in making the places better? As Boon as
I can get no tenants I'll do so; not till then."

"You don't believe in works of mere humanity?"

"What the devil's humanity got to do with business?" cried Abraham.

"True," was Waymark's rejoinder.

"See, we won't talk of these kind of things," said Mr. Woodstock.
"That's just what we always used to quarrel about, and I'm getting
too old for quarrelling. Got any engagement this afternoon?"

"I thought of looking in to see a friend here in the street"

"Male or female?"

"Both; man and wife."

"Oh, then you have got some friends? So had I when I was your age.
They go somehow when you get old. Your father was the last of them,
I think. But you're not much like him, except a little in face.
True, he was a Radical, but you,--well, I don't know what you are.
If you'd been a son of mine, I'd have had you ill Parliament by now,
somehow or other."

"I think you never had a son?" said Way mark, observing the note of
melancholy which every now and then came up in the old man's talk.

"No."

"But you had some children, I think?"

"Yes, yes,--they're dead."

He had walked to the window, and suddenly turned round with a kind
of impatience.

"Never mind the friend to-day; come and have some dinner with me. I
seem to want a bit of company."

This was the first invitation of the kind Waymark had received. He
accepted it, and they went out together.

"It's a pleasant part this," Mr. Woodstock said, as they walked by
the river. "One might build himself a decent house somewhere about
here, eh?"

"Do you think of doing so?"

"I think of doing so! What's the good of a house, and nobody to live
in it?"

Waymark studied these various traits of the old man's humour, and
constantly felt more of kindness towards him.

On the following day, just as he had collected his rents, and was on
his way out of Litany Lane, Waymark was surprised at coming face to
face with Mrs. Casti; yet more surprised when he perceived that she
had come out from a public-house. She looked embarrassed, and for a
moment seemed about to pass without recognising him; but he had
raised his hat, and she could not but move her head in reply. She so
obviously wished to avoid speaking, that he walked quickly on in
another direction. He wondered what he could be doing in such a
place as this. It could hardly be that she had acquaintances or
connections here. Julian had not given him any particulars of
Harriet's former life, and his friend's marriage was still a great
puzzle to him. He knew well that the girl had no liking for himself;
it was not improbable that this casual meeting would make their
intercourse yet more strained. He thought for a moment of
questioning Julian, but decided that the matter was no business of
his.

It was so rare for him to meet an acquaintance in the streets, that
a second chance of the same kind, only a few minutes later,
surprised him greatly. This time the meeting as a pleasant one;
somebody ran across to him from over the way, and he saw that it was
Sally Fisher. She looked pleased. The girl had preserved a good deal
of her sea-side complexion through the year and a half of town life,
and, when happy, glowed all over her cheeks with the healthiest hue.
She held out her hand in the usual frank, impulsive way.

"Oh, I thought it was you! You won't see I no more at the old
place."

"No? How's that?"

"I'm leavin' un to-morrow. I've got a place in a shop, just by here,
--a chandler's shop, and I'm going to live in."

"Indeed? Well, I'm glad to hear it. I dare say you'll be better
off."

"Oh, I say,--you know your friend?"

"The Irishman?"

"Yes."

"What about him?" asked the other, smiling as he looked into the
girl's pretty face.

"Well," said Sally, "I don't mind you telling un where I live now,
--if you like.--Look, there's the address on that paper; you can
take it."

"Oh, I see. In point of fact, you _wish_ me to tell him?"

"Oh, I don't care. I dessay he don't want to know anything about I.
But you can if you like."

"I will be sure to, and no doubt he will be delighted. He's been
growing thin since I told him you declined to renew his
acquaintance."

"Oh, don't talk! And now I must be off. Good-bye. I dessay I shall
see you sometimes?"

"Without doubt. We'll have another Sunday at Richmond soon.
Good-bye."

It was about four in the afternoon when Sally reached home, and she
ran up at once to Ida's room, and burst in, crying out, "I've got
it! I've got it!" with much dancing about and joyous singing. Ida
rose with a faint smile of welcome. She had been sitting at the
window, reading a book lent her by Waymark.

"They said they liked my appearance," Sally went on, "and 'ud give
me a try. I go in to-morrow. It won't be a over easy place, neither.
I've to do all the cleaning in the house, and there's a baby to look
after when I'm not in the shop."

"And what will they give you?"

"Ten shillings a month for the first half-year; then a rise."

"And you're satisfied?"

"Oh, it'll do till something better turns up. Oh, I say, I met your
friend just after I'd come away."

"Did you?" said Ida quietly.

"Yes; and I told him he could tell his friend where I was, if he
liked."

"His friend?"

"The Irishman, you know," explained Sally, moving about the room. "I
told you he'd been asking after me."

Ida seemed all at once to awake from a dream. She uttered a long
"Ah!" under her breath, and for a moment looked at the girl like one
who is struck with an unexpected explanation. Then she turned away
to the window, and again gazed up at the blue sky, standing so for
nearly a minute.

"Are you engaged to-night?" Sally asked presently.

"No; will you sit with me?"

"You're not feeling very well to-day, are you?"

"I think not," replied Ida, passing her hand over her forehead.
"I've been thinking of going out of London for a few days, perhaps
to the seaside."

"Go to Weymouth!" cried Sally, delighted at the thought. "Go and see
my people, and tell un how I'm getting on. They'll make you hide
with un all the time you're there, s'nough. It isn't a big house,
but it's comfortable, and see if our mother wouldn't look after you!
It's three weeks since I wrote; if I don't mind there'll be our
father up here looking after I. Now, do go!"

"No, it's too far. Besides, if I go, I shall want to be quite
alone."

On the following evening Waymark was expected. At his last visit he
had noticed that Ida was not in her usual spirits. To-night he saw
that something was clearly wrong, and when Ida spoke of going to the
seaside, he strongly. urged her to do so.

"Where should you go to?" he asked.

"I think to Hastings. I went there once, when I was a child, with my
mother--I believe I told you. I had rather go there than anywhere
else."

"I feel the need of a change myself," he said, a moment after, and
without looking at her. "Suppose I were to go to Hastings, too--at
the same time that you're there--would you dislike it?"

She merely shook her head, almost indifferently. She did not care to
talk much to-night, and frequently nodded instead of replying with
words.

"But--you would rather I didn't?" he urged.

"No, indeed," still in the same indifferent way. "I should have
company, if I found it dull."

"Then let us go down by the same train--will you, Ida?"

As far as she remembered, it was the first time that he had ever
addressed her thus by her name. She looked up and smiled slightly.

"If you like," was her answer.





CHAPTER XVII

THE MISSING YEARS




"Why shouldn't life be always like this?" said Waymark, lying on the
upper beach and throwing pebbles into the breakers, which each
moment drew a little further hack and needed a little extra exertion
of the arm to reach them. There was small disturbance by people
passing, here some two miles up the shore eastward from Hastings. A
large shawl spread between two walking-sticks stuck upright gave, at
this afternoon hour, all the shade needful for two persons lying
side by side, and, even in the blaze of unclouded summer, there were
pleasant airs flitting about the edge of the laughing sea. "Why
shouldn't life be always like this? It might be--sunshine or
fireside--if men were wise. Leisure is the one thing that all
desire, but they strive for it so blindly that they frustrate one
another's hope. And so at length they have come to lose the end in
the means; are mad enough to set the means before them as in itself
an end."

"We must work to forget our troubles," said his companion simply.

"Why, yes, and those very troubles are the fit reward of our folly.
We have not been content to live in the simple happiness of our
senses. We must be learned and wise, forsooth. We were not content
to enjoy the beauty of the greater and the lesser light. We must
understand whence they come and whither they go--after that, what
they are made of and how much they weigh. We thought for such a long
time that our toil would end in something; that we might become as
gods, knowing good and evil. Now we are at the end of our tether, we
see clearly enough that it has all been worse than vain; how good if
we could unlearn it all, scatter the building of phantasmal
knowledge in which we dwell so uncomfortably! It is too late. The
gods never take back their gifts; we wearied them with our prayers
into granting us this one, and now they sit in the clouds and mock
us."

Ida looked, and kept silent; perhaps scarcely understood.

"People kill themselves in despair," Waymark went on, "that is, when
they have drunk to the very dregs the cup of life's bitterness. If
they were wise, they would die at that moment--if it ever comes--
when joy seems supreme and stable. Life can give nothing further,
and it has no more hellish misery than disillusion following upon
delight."

"Did you ever seriously think of killing yourself?" Ida asked,
gazing at him closely.

"Yes. I have reached at times the point when I would not have moved
a muscle to escape death, and from that it is not far to suicide.
But my joy had never come, and it is hard to go away without that
one draught.--And you!"

"I went so far once as to buy poison. But neither had I tasted any
happiness, and I could not help hoping."

"And you still wait--still hope?"

Ida made no direct answer. She gazed far off at the
indistinguishable border-land of sea and sky, and when she spoke it
was in a softened tone.

"When I was here last, I was seven years old. Now I am not quite
nineteen. How long I have lived since then--how long! Yet my life
didnot really begin till I was about eleven. Till then I was a
happy child, understanding nothing. Between then and now, if I have
discovered little good either in myself or in others, I have learned
by heart everything that is bad in the world. Nothing in meanness or
vileness or wretchedness is a secret to me. Compare me with other
girls of nineteen--perhaps still at school. What sort of a
companion should I be for one of those, I wonder! What strange
thoughts I should have, if ever I talked with such a girl; how old I
should feel myself beside her!"

"Your knowledge is better in my eyes than their ignorance. My ideal
woman is the one who, knowing every darkest secret of life, keeps
yet a pure mind--as you do, Ida."

She was silent so long that Waymark spoke again.

"Your mother died when you were eleven!"

"Yes, and that was when my life began. My mother was very poor, but
she managed to send me to a pretty good school. But for that, my
life would have been very different; I should not have understood
myself as well as I always have done. Poor mother,--good, good
mother! Oh, if I could but have her now, and thank her for all her
love, and give her but one year of quiet happiness. To think that I
can see her as if she were standing before me, and yet that she is
gone, is nowhere, never to be brought back to me if I break my heart
with longing!"

Tears stood in her eyes. They meant more than she could ever say to
another, however close and dear to her. The secret of her mother's
life lay in the grave and in her own mind; the one would render it
up as soon as the other. For never would Ida tell in words of that
moment when there had come to her maturing intelligence clear
insight into her mother's history, when the fables of childhood had
no longer availed to blind her, and every recalled circumstance
pointed but to one miserable truth.

"She's happier than we are," Waymark said solemnly. "Think how long
she has been resting."

Ida became silent, and presently spoke with a firmer voice.

"They took her to a hospital in her last illness, and she died
there. I don't know where her grave is."

"And what became of you? Had you friends to go to?"

"No one; I was quite alone.--We had been living in lodgings. The
landlady told me that of course I couldn't stay on there; she
couldn't afford to keep me; I must go and find a home somewhere. Try
and think what that meant to me. I was so young and ignorant that
such an idea as that I might one day have to earn my own living had
never entered my mind. I was fed and clothed like every one else,--
a good deal better, indeed, than some of the children at school,--
and I didn't know why it shouldn't always be so. Besides, I was a
vain child; I thought myself clever; I had even begun to look at
myself in the glass and think I was handsome. It seemed quite
natural that every one should be kind and indulgent to me. I shall
never forget the feeling I had when the landlady spoke to me in that
hard, sharp way. My whole idea of the world was overset all at once;
I seemed to be in a miserable dream. I sat in my mother's bedroom
hour after hour, and, every step I heard on the stairs, I thought it
must be my mother coming back home to me;--it was impossible to
believe that I was left alone, and could look to no one for help and
comfort."

"Next morning the landlady came up to me again, and said, if I
liked, she could tell me of a way of earning my living. It was by
going as a servant to an eating-house in a street close by, where
they wanted some one to wash up dishes and do different kinds of
work not too hard for a child like me. I could only do as I was
advised; I went at once, and was engaged. They took off the dress I
was wearing, which was far too good for me then, and gave me a
dirty, ragged one; then I was set to work at once to clean some
knives. Nothing was said about wages or anything of that kind; only
I understood that I should live in the house, and have all given me
that I needed. Of course I was very awkward. I tried my very hardest
to do everything that was set me, but only got scolding for my
pains; and it soon came to boxes on the ear, and even kicks. The
place was kept by a man and wife; they had a daughter older than I,
and they treated her just like a hired servant. I used to sleep with
the girl in a wretched kitchen underground, and the poor thing kept
me awake every night with crying and complaining of her hard life.
It was no harder than mine, and I can't think she felt it more; but
I had even then a kind of stubborn pride which kept me from showing
what I suffered. I couldn't have borne to let them see what a
terrible change it was for me, all this drudgery and unkindness; I
felt it would have been like taking them into my confidence, opening
my heart to them, and I despised them too much for that. I even
tried to talk in a rough rude way, as if I had never been used to
anything better--"

"That was fine, that was heroic!" broke in Waymark admiringly.

"I only know it was miserable enough. And things got worse instead
of better. The master was a coarse drunken brute, and he and his
wife used to quarrel fearfully. I have seen them throw knives at
each other, and do worse things than that, too. The woman seemed
somehow to have a spite against me from the first, and the way her
husband behaved to me made her hate me still more. Child as I was,
he did and said things which made her jealous. Often when she had
gone out of an evening, I had to defend myself against him, and call
the daughter to protect me. And so it went on, till, what with fear
of him, and fear of her, and misery and weariness, I resolved to go
away, become of me what might. One night, instead of undressing for
bed as usual, I told Jane--that was the daughter--that I
couldn't bear it any longer, and was going away, as soon as I
thought the house was quiet. She looked at me in astonishment, and
asked me if I had anywhere to go to. Will you believe that I said
yes, I had? I suppose I spoke in a way which didn't encourage her to
ask questions; she only lay down on the bed and cried as usual.
"Jane," I said, in a little, "if I were you, I'd run away as well."
"I will," she cried out, starting up, "I will this very night! We'll
go out together." It was my turn to ask her if _she_ had anywhere to
go to. She said she knew a girl who lived in a good home at
Tottenham, and who'd do something for her, she thought. At any rate
she'd rather go to the workhouse than stay where she was. So, about
one o'clock, we both crept out by a back way, and ran into Edgware
Road. There we said good-bye, and she went one way, and I another.

"All that night I walked about, for fear of being noticed loitering
by a policeman. When it was morning, I had come round to Hyde Park,
and, though it was terribly cold--just in March--I went to sleep
on a seat. I woke about ten o'clock, and walked off into the town,
seeking a poor part, where I thought it more likely I might find
something to do. Of course I asked first of all at eating-houses,
but no one wanted me. It was nearly dark, and I hadn't tasted
anything. Then I begged of one or two people--I forgot everything
but my hunger--and they gave me a few coppers. I bought some
bread, and still wandered about. There are some streets into which I
can never bear to go now; the thought of walking about them eight
years ago is too terrible to me. Well, I walked till midnight, and
then could stand up no longer. I found myself in a dirty little
street where the house doors stood open all night; I went into one,
and walked up as far as the first landing, and there fell down in a
corner and slept all night."

"Poor child!" said Waymark, looking into her face, which had become
very animated as the details of the story succeeded each other in
her mind.

"I must have looked a terrible little savage on that next morning,"
Ida went on, smiling sadly. "Oh, how hungry I was! I was awoke by a
woman who came out of one of the rooms, and I asked her if she'd
give me something to eat. She said she would, if I'd light her fire
for her, and clean up the grate. I did this, gladly enough. Then she
pretended I had done it badly, and gave me one miserable little dry
crust, and told me to be off. Well, that day I found another woman
who said she'd give me one meal and twopence a day for helping her
to chop wood and wash vegetables; she had a son who was a
costermonger, and the stuff he sold had to be cleaned each day. I
took the work gladly. She never asked me where I spent the night;
the truth was I chose a different house each night, where I found
the door open, and went up and slept on the stairs. I often found
several people doing the same thing, and no one disturbed us.

"I lived so for a fortnight, then I was lucky enough to get into
another eating-house. I lived there nearly two months, and had to
leave for the very same reason as at the first place. I only half
understood the meaning of what I had to resist, but my resistance
led to other unbearable cruelties, and again I ran away. I went
about eight o'clock in the evening. The thought of going back to my
old sleeping places on the stairs was horrible. Besides, for some
days a strange idea had been in my head. I had not forgotten my
friend Jane, and I wondered whether, if I went to Tottenham, it
would be possible to find her. Perhaps she might be well off there,
and could help me. I had made inquiries about the way to Tottenham,
and the distance, and when I left the eating-house I had made up my
mind to walk straight there. I started from Hoxton, and went on and
on, till I had left the big streets behind. I kept asking my way,
but often went long distances in the wrong direction. I knew that
Tottenham was quite in the country, and my idea was to find a
sleeping-place in some field, then to begin my search on the next
day. It was summer, but still I began to feel cold, and this drew me
away out of my straight road to a fire which I saw burning a little
way off. I thought it would be nice to sit down by it and rest. I
found that the road was being mended, and by the fire lay a watchman
in a big tub. Just as I came up he was eating his supper. He was a
great, rough man, but I looked in his face and thought it seemed
good, so I asked him if he'd let me rest a little. Of course he was
surprised at seeing me there, for it must have been midnight, and
when he asked me about myself I told him the truth, because he spoke
in a kind way. Then he stopped eating and gave me what was left; it
was a bit of fat bacon and some cold potatoes; but how good it was,
and how good _he_ was! To this moment I can see that man's face. He
got out of his tub and made me take his place, and he wrapped me up
in something he had there. Then he sat by the fire, and kept looking
at me, I thought, in a sad sort of way; and he said, over and over
again, 'Ay, it's bad to be born a little girl; it's bad to be born a
little girl; pity you wasn't a boy.' Oh, how well I can hear his
voice this moment! And as he kept saying this, I went off to sleep."

She stopped, and played with the pebbles.

"And in the morning?" asked Waymark.

"Well, when I woke up, it was light, and there were a lot of other
men about, beginning their work on the road. I crept out of the tub,
and when they saw me, they laughed in a kind sort of way, and gave
me some breakfast. I supose I thanked them, I hope I did; the
watchman was gone, but no doubt he had told the others my story, for
they showed me the way to Tottenham, and wished me luck."

"And you found your friend Jane!"

"No, no; how was it likely I should? I wandered about till I could
stand no longer, and then I went up to the door of a house which
stood in a garden, and begged for something to eat. The servant who
opened was sending me away, when her mistress heard, and came to the
door. She stood looking at me for some time, and then told me to
come in. I went into the kitchen, and she asked me all about myself.
I told her the truth; I was too miserable now to do anything else.
Well, the result was--she kept me there."

"For good?"

"Indeed, for good. In that very house I lived for six years. Oh; she
was the queerest and kindest little body! At first I helped her
servant in the kitchen,--she lived quite by herself, with one
servant,--but little by little she made me a sort of lady's maid,
and I did no more rough work. You wouldn't believe the ridiculous
fancies of that dear old woman! She thought herself a great beauty,
and often told me so very plainly, and she used to talk to me about
her chances of being married to this and the other person in the
neighbourhood. And the result of all this was that she had to spend
I don't know how long every day in dressing herself, and then
looking at herself in the glass. And I had to learn how to do her
hair, and put paint and powder on her face, and all sorts of
wonderful things. She was as good to me as she could be, and I never
wanted for anything. And so six years passed, and one morning she
was found dead in her bed.

"Well, that was the end of the happiest time of my life. In a day or
two some relatives came to look after things, and I had to go. They
were kind to me, however; they gave me money, and told me I might
refer to them if I needed to. I came to London, and took a room, and
wondered what I should do.

"I advertised, and answered advertisements, but nothing came. My
money was going, and I should soon be as badly off as ever. I began
to do what I had always thought of as the very last thing, look for
needlework, either for home or in a workroom. I don't know how it is
that I have always hated sewing. For one thing, I really can't sew.
I was never taught as a child, and few girls are as clumsy with a
needle as I am. I've always looked upon a work-girl's life as the
most horrible drudgery; I'd far rather scrub floors. I suppose I've
a rebellious disposition, and just because sewing is looked upon as
a woman's natural slavery, I rebelled against it.

"By this time I was actually starving. I had one day to tell my
landlady I couldn't pay my rent. She was a very decent woman, and
she talked to me in a kind way. What was better, she gave me help.
She had a sister who kept a laundry, and she thought I might perhaps
get something to do there; at all events she would go and see. The
result was I got work. I was in the laundry nearly six months, and
became quite clever in getting up linen. Now this was a kind of work
I liked. You can't think what a pleasure it was to me to see shirts
and collars turning out so spotless and sweet--"

Waymark laughed.

"Oh, but you don't understand. I do so like cleanliness! I have a
sort of feeling when I'm washing anything, that I'm really doing
good in the world, and the dazzling white of linen after I'd ironed
it seemed to thank me for my work."

"Yes, yes, I understand well enough," said Waymark earnestly.

"For all that I couldn't stay. I was restless. I had a foolish
notion that I should like to be with a better kind of people again
--I mean people in a higher position. I still kept answering
advertisements for a lady's maid's place, and at last I got what I
wanted. Oh yes, I got it."

She broke off' laughing bitterly, and remained silent. Waymark would
not urge her to continue. For a minute it seemed as if she would
tell no more; she looked at her watch, and half arose.

"Oh, I may as well tell you all, now I've begun," she said, falling
back again in a careless way. "You know what the end's going to be;
never mind, at all events I'll try and make you understand how it
came.

"The family I got into was a lady and her two grown-up daughters,
and a son of about five-and-twenty. They lived in a small house at
Shepherd's Bush. My wages were very small, and I soon found out that
they were a kind of people who keep up a great deal of show on very
little means. Of course I had to be let into all the secrets of
their miserable shifts for dressing well on next to nothing at all,
and they expected me--mother and daughters--to do the most
wonderful and impossible things. I had to turn old rags into smart
new costumes, to trim worn-out hats into all manner of gaudy shapes,
even to patch up boots in a way you couldn't imagine. And they used
to send me with money to buy things they were ashamed to go and buy
themselves; then, if I hadn't laid out their few pence with
marvellous result, they all but accused me of having used some of
the money for myself. I had fortunately learnt a great deal with the
old lady in Tottenham, or I couldn't have satisfied them for a day.
I'm sure I did what few people could have done, and for all that
they treated me from almost the first very badly. I had to be
housemaid as well as lady's maid; the slavery left me every night
worn out with exhaustion. And I hadn't even enough to eat. As time
went on, they treated me worse and worse. They spoke to me often in
a way that made my heart boil, as if they were so many queens, and I
was some poor mean wretch who was honoured by being allowed to toil
for them. Then they quarrelled among themselves unceasingly, and of
course I had to bear all the bad temper. I never saw people hate one
another like those three did; the sisters even scratched each
other's faces in their fits of jealousy, and sometimes they both
stormed at their mother till she went into hysterics, just because
she couldn't give them more money. The only one in the house who
ever spoke decently to me was the son--Alfred Bolter, his name
was. I suppose I felt grateful to him. Once or twice, when he met me
on the stairs, he kissed me. I was too miserable even to resent it.

"I went about, day after day, in a dazed state, trying to make up my
mind to leave the people, but I couldn't. I don't know how it was, I
had never felt so afraid of being thrown out into the world again. I
suppose it was bodily weakness, want of proper food, and overwork. I
began to feel that the whole world was wronging me. Was there never
to be anything for me but slaving? Was I never to have any enjoyment
of life, like other people? I felt a need of pleasure, I didn't care
how or what. I was always in a fever; everything was exaggerated to
me. What was going to be my future?--I kept asking myself. Was it
only to be hard work, miserably paid, till I died? And I should die
at last without having known what it was to enjoy my life. When I
was allowed to go out--it was very seldom--I walked aimlessly
about the streets, watching all the girls I passed, and fancying
they all looked so happy, all enjoying their life so. I was growing
thin and pale. I coughed, and began to think I was consumptive. A
little more of it and I believe I should have become so really.

"It came to an end, suddenly and unexpectedly. All three, mother and
daughters, had been worrying me through a whole morning, and at last
one of them called me a downright fool, and said I wasn't worth the
bread I ate. I turned on them. I can't remember a word I said, but
speak I did, and in a way that astonished them; they shrank back
from me, looking pale and frightened. I felt in that moment that I
was a thousand times their superior; I believe I told them so. Then
I rushed up to my room, packed my box, and went out into the street.

"I had just turned a corner, when some one came up to me, and it was
Mr. Bolter. He had followed me from the house. He laughed, said I
had done quite right, and asked me if I had any money. I shook my
head. He walked on by me, and talked. The end was, that he found me
rooms, and provided for me.

"I had not the least affection for him, but he had pleasant,
gentlemanly ways, and it scarcely even occurred to me to refuse his
offers. I was reckless; what happened to me mattered little, as long
as I had not to face hard work. I needed rest. For one in my
position there was, I saw well enough, only one way of getting it. I
took that way."

Ida had told this in a straightforward, unhesitating manner, not
meeting her companion's gaze, yet not turning away. One would have
said that judgments upon her story were indifferent to her; she
simply related past events. In a moment, she resumed.

"Do you remember, on the night when you first met me, a man
following us in the street?"

Waymark nodded.

"He was a friend of Alfred Bolter's, and sometimes we met him when
we went to the theatre, and such places. That is the only person I
ever hated from the first sight,--hated and dreaded in a way I
could not possibly explain."

"But why do you mention him?" asked Waymark. "What is his name?"

"His name is Edwards," returned Ida, pronouncing it as if the sound
excited loathing in her. "I had been living in this way for nearly
half-a-year, when one day this man called and came up to my
sitting-room. He said he had an appointment with Mr. Bolter, who
would come presently. I sat scarcely speaking, but he talked on.
Presently, Mr. Bolter came. He seemed surprised to find the other
man with me, and almost at once turned round and went out again.
Edwards followed him, saying to me that he wondered what it all
meant. The meaning was made clear to me a few hours after. There
came a short note from Mr. Bolter, saying that he had suspected that
something was wrong, and that under the circumstances he could of
course only say good-bye.

I can't say that I was sorry; I can't say that I was glad. I
despised him for his meanness, not even troubling myself to try and
make sure of what had happened. The same night Edwards came to see
me again, made excuses, blamed his friend, shuffled here and there,
and gave me clearly to understand what he wanted. I scarcely spoke,
only told him to go away, and that he need never speak to me
anywhere or at any time; it would be useless. Well, I changed my
lodgings for those I now have, and simply began the life I now--
the life I have been leading. Work was more impossible for me than
ever, and I had to feed and clothe myself."

"How long ago was that?" asked Waymark, without looking up.

"Four months."

Ida rose from the beach. The tide had gone down some distance; there
were stretches of smooth sand, already dry in the sunshine.

"Let us walk back on the sands," she said, pointing.

"You are going home?"

"Yes, I want to rest a little. I will meet you again about eight
o'clock, if you like."

Waymark accompanied her as far as the door, then strolled on to his
own lodgings, which were near at hand. It was only the second day
that they had been in Hastings, yet it seemed to him as if he had
been walking about on the seashore with Ida for weeks. For all that,
he felt that he was not as near to her now as he had been on certain
evenings in London, when his arrival was to her a manifest pleasure,
and their talk unflagging from hour to hour. She did not show the
spirit of holiday, seemed weary from time to time, was too often
preoccupied and indisposed to talk. True, she had at length
fulfilled her promise of telling him the whole of her story, but
even this increase of confidence Waymark's uneasy mind strangely
converted into fresh source of discomfort to himself. She had made
this revelation--he half believed--on purpose to keep up the
distance between them, to warn him how slight occasion had led her
from what is called the path of virtue, that he might not delude
himself into exaggerated estimates of her character. Such a thought
could of course only be due to the fact that Ida's story had indeed
produced something of this impression upon her hearer. Waymark had
often busied himself with inventing all manner of excuses for her,
had exerted his imagination to the utmost to hit upon some most
irresistible climax of dolorous circumstances to account for her
downfall. He had yet to realise that circumstances are as relative
in their importance as everything else in this world, and that
ofttimes the greatest tragedies revolve on apparently the most
insignificant outward events--personality being all.

He spent the hours of her absence in moving from place to place,
fretting in mind. At one moment, he half determined to bring things
to some issue, by disregarding all considerations and urging his
love upon her. Yet this he felt he could not do. Surely--he asked
himself angrily he was not still so much in the thraldom of
conventionality as to be affected by his fresh reminder of her
position and antecedents? Perhaps not quite so much prejudice as
experience which disturbed him. He was well acquainted with the
characteristics of girls of this class; he knew how all but
impossible it is for them to tell the truth, the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth. And there was one thing particularly in Ida's
story that he found hard to credit; was it indeed likely that she
had not felt more than she would confess for this man whose mistress
she became so easily? If she had _not_, if what she said were true,
was not this something like a proof of her lack of that refined
sentiment which is, the capacity for love, in its real sense?
Torturing doubts and reasonings of this kind once set going in a
brain already confused with passion, there is no limit to the range
of speculation opened; Waymark found himself--in spite of
everything--entertaining all his old scepticism. In any case, had
he the slightest ground for the hope that she might ever feel to him
as warmly as he did to her? He could not recall one instance of
Ida's having betrayed a trace of fondness in her intercourse with
him. The mere fact of their intercourse he altogether lost sight of.
Whereas an outsider would, under the circumstances, have been
justified in laying the utmost stress on this, Waymark had grown to
accept it as a matter of course, and only occupied himself with
Ida's absolute self-control, her perfect calmness in all situations,
the ease with which she met his glance, the looseness of her hand in
his, the indifference with which she heard him when he had spoken of
his loneliness and frequent misery. Where was the key of her
character? She did not care for admiration; it was quite certain
that she was not leading him about just to gratify her own vanity.
Was it not purely an intellectual matter? She was a girl of superior
intellect, and, having found in him some one with whom she could
satisfy her desire for rational converse, did she not on this
account keep up their relations? For the rest--well, she liked
ease and luxury; above all, ease. Of that she would certainly make
no sacrifice. How well he could imagine the half-annoyed,
half-contemptuous smile which would rise to her beautiful face, if
he were so foolish as to become sentimental with her! That, he felt,
would be a look not easy to bear. Humiliation he dreaded.

When eight o'clock came, he was leaning over the end of the pier, at
the appointed spot, still busy in thought. There came a touch on his
arm.

"Well, are you thinking how you can make a book out of my story?"

The touch, the voice, the smile,--how all his sophistry was swept
away in a rush of tenderness and delight!

"I must wait for the end of it," he returned, holding out his hand,
which she did not take.

"The end?--Oh, you must invent one. Ends in real life are so
commonplace and uninteresting."

"Commonplace or not," said Waymark, with some lack of firmness in
his voice, "the end of your story should not be an unhappy one, if I
had the disposing of it. And I might have--but for one thing."

"What's that?" she asked, with sudden interest.

"My miserable poverty. If I only had money--money"--

"Money!" she exclaimed, turning away almost angrily. Then she added,
with the coldness which she did not often use, but which, when she
did, chilled and checked him--"I don't understand you."

He pointed with a bitter smile down to the sands.

"Look at that gold of the sunset in the pools the tide has left. It
is the most glorious colour in nature, but it makes me miserable by
reminding me of the metal it takes its name from."

She looked at him with eyes which had in them a strange wonder, sad
at first, then full of scorn, of indignation. And then she laughed,
drawing herself away from him. The laugh irritated him. He
experienced a terrible revulsion of feeling, from the warmth and
passion which had possessed him, to that humiliation, which he could
not bear.

And just now a number of people came and took their stands close by,
in a gossiping group. Ida had half turned away, and was looking at
the golden pools. He tried to say something, but his tongue was dry,
and the word would not come. Presently, she faced him again, and
said, in very much her ordinary tone--

"I was going to tell you that I have just had news from London,
which makes it necessary for me to go back to-morrow. I shall have
to take an early train."

"This is because I have offended you," Waymark said, moving nearer
to her. "You had no thought of going before that."

"I am not surprised that you refuse to believe me," returned Ida,
smiling very faintly. "Still, it is the truth. And now I must go in
again;--I am very tired."

"No," he exclaimed as she moved away, "you must not go in till--
till you have forgotten me. At least come away to a quiet place,
where I can speak freely to you; these people--"

"To-morrow morning," she said, waving her hand wearily. "I can't
talk now--and indeed there is no need to speak of this at all. I
have forgotten it."

"No, you have not; how could you?--And you will not go to-morrow;
you shall not."

"Yes, I must," she returned firmly.

"Then I shall go with you."

"As you like. I shall leave by the express at five minutes past
nine."

"Then I shall be at the station. But at least I may walk home with
you?"

"No, please. If you wish me to think you are sincere,--if you wish
us still to be friends--stay till I have left the pier.--Good
night."

He muttered a return, and stood watching her as she walked quietly
away.

When it was nearly midnight, Ida lay on her bed, dressed, as she had
lain since her return home. For more than an hour she had cried and
sobbed in blank misery, cried as never since the bitter days long ago,
just after her mother's death. Then, the fit over, something like a
reaction of calm followed, and as she lay perfectly still in the
darkness, her regular breathing would have led one to believe her
asleep. But she was only thinking, and in deed very far from sleep The
long day in the open air had so affected her eyes that, as she looked up
at the ceiling, it seemed to her to be a blue space, with light clouds
constantly flitting across it. Presently this impression became painful,
and a growing restlessness made her rise. The heat of the room was
stifling, for just above was the roof, upon which all day the sun had
poured its rays. She threw open the window, and drank in the air. The
night was magnificent, flooded with warm moonlight, and fragrant with
sea breathings. Ida felt an irresistible desire to leave the house and
go down to the shore, which she could not see from her window; the tide,
she remembered, would just now be full, and to walk by it in the
solitude of midnight would bring her that peace and strength of soul she
so much needed. She put on her hat and cloak, and went downstairs. The
front door was only latched, and, as she had her key, no doubt she would
be able to let herself in at any hour.

The streets were all but deserted, and, when she came to the beach,
no soul was anywhere visible. She walked towards the place where she
had spent the afternoon with Waymark, then onwards still further to
the east, till there was but a narrow space between the water and
the cliffs. Breakers there were none, not more ripple at the clear
tide-edge than on the border of a little lake. So intense was the
silence that every now and then could be distinctly heard a call on
one of the fishing-boats lying some distance from shore. The town
was no longer in sight.

It was close even here; what little breeze there was brushed the
face like the warm wing of a passing bird. Ida dipped her hands in
the water and sprinkled it upon her forehead. Then she took off her
boots and stockings, and walked with her feet in the ripples. A
moment after she stopped, and looked all around, as if hesitating at
some thought, and wishing to see that her solitude was secure. Just
then the sound of a clock came very faintly across the still air,
striking the hour of one. She stepped from the water a few paces,
and began hastily to put off her clothing; in a moment her feet were
again in the ripples, and she was walking out from the beach, till
her gleaming body was hidden. Then she bathed, breasting the full
flow with delight, making the sundered and broken water flash myriad
reflections of the moon and stars.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Waymark was at the station next morning half an hour before train-time.
He waited for Ida's arrival before taking his ticket. She did not come.
He walked about in feverish impatience, plaguing himself with all manner
of doubt and apprehension. The train came into the station, and yet she
had not arrived. It started, and no sign of her.

He waited yet five minutes, then walked hastily into the town, and
to Ida's lodgings. Miss Starr, he was told, had left very early that
morning; if he was Mr. Waymark, there was a note to be delivered to
him.

"I thought it better that I should go to London by an earlier train, for
we should not have been quite at our ease with each other. I beg you
will not think my leaving you is due to anything but necessity--indeed
it is not. I shall not be living at the old place, but any letter you
send there I shall get. I cannot promise to reply at once, but hope you
will let me do so when I feel able to.

I. S."

Waymark took the next train to town.





CHAPTER XVIII

THE ENDERBYS




Some twenty years before the date we have reached, the Rev. Paul
Enderby, a handsome young man, endowed with moral and intellectual
qualities considerably above the average, lived and worked in a
certain small town of Yorkshire.

He had been here for two years, an unmarried man; now it was made
known that this state of things was to come to an end; moreover, to
the disappointment of not a few households, it was understood that
the future Mrs. Enderby had been chosen from among his own people,
in London. The lady came, and there was a field-day of criticism.
Mrs. Enderby looked very young, and was undeniably pretty; she had
accomplishments, and evidently liked to exhibit them before her
homely visitors. She exaggerated the refinement of her utterance
that it might all the more strike off against the local accent. It
soon became clear that she would be anything but an assistance to
her husband in his parochial work; one or two attempts were made,
apparently with good will, at intercourse with the poor
parishioners, but the enterprise was distinctly a failure; it had to
be definitively given up. Presently a child was born in the
parsonage, and for a little while the young mother's attention was
satisfactorily engaged at home. The child was a girl and received
the name of Maud.

Paul Enderby struggled to bate no jot of his former activity, but a
change was obvious to all. No less obvious the reason of it. Mrs.
Enderby's reckless extravagance had soon involved her husband in
great difficulties. He was growing haggard; his health was failing;
his activity shrank within the narrowest possible limits; he shunned
men's gaze.

Yet all at once there happened something which revived much of his
old zeal, and, in spite of everything, brought him once more
prominently forward. A calamity had visited the town. By a great
explosion in a neighbouring colliery, numbers of homes had been
rendered destitute, and aid of every kind was imperatively called
for on all sides. In former times, Paul Enderby would have been just
the man for this occasion, and even now he was not wanting.
Extensive subscriptions were raised, and he, as chief man in the
committee which had been formed, had chief control of the funds.
People said afterwards that they had often remarked something
singular in his manner as he went about in these duties. Whether
that was true or not, something more than singular happened when,
some two months later, accounts were being investigated and cleared
up. Late one evening, Mr. Enderby left home,--and never returned
to it. It was very soon known that he must have appropriated to his
own use considerable sums which had reached his hands for charitable
purposes, and the scandal was terrific. Mrs. Enderby and her child
disappeared in a day or two. It was said that ladies from London had
come and fetched her away, and she was no more heard of in that
little town.

Miss Bygrave, an elder sister of Mrs. Enderby, had received a letter
from Paul summoning her to the wife's aid: and this letter, dated
from Liverpool, after disclosing in a few words the whole situation,
went on to say that the writer, though he would never more be seen
by those who knew him, would not fail to send his wife what money he
could as often as he could. And, after half a year, sums had begun
to be remitted, in envelopes bearing a Californian postmark. They
were not much use, however, to Mrs. Enderby. A few days after her
arrival at her home in London, she had been discovered hanging, with
a rope round her neck, from a nail behind her bedroom door. Cut down
in time, her life was saved, but reason had forsaken her. She was
taken away to an asylum, and remained there for five years.

By that time, she seemed to have quite recovered. Her home was now
to be with her sister, Theresa Bygrave. Her child, Maud Enderby, was
nearly seven years old. Mrs. Enderby returned to the world not quite
the same woman as when she left it. She had never lacked character,
and this now showed itself in one immutable resolution. Having found
that the child had learnt nothing of its parents, she determined
that this ignorance should continue; or rather that it should be
exchanged for the belief that those parents were both long dead. She
dwelt apart, supported by her sister. Finally, after ten years'
absence, Paul Enderby returned to England, and lived again with his
wife. But Maud, their daughter, still believed herself alone in the
world, save for her aunt, Miss Bygrave.

At the time when Waymark and Ida were together at Hastings, Mrs.
Enderby called one evening at Miss Bygrave's house--the house of
Maud's childhood, still distinguished by the same coldness, bareness
and gloom, the same silence echoing to a strange footfall. Theresa
Bygrave had not greatly altered; tall, upright, clad in the plainest
black garment, she walked into the room with silent dignity, and
listened to a suggestion made by her brother-in-law.

"We have talked it over again," said Paul, "and we have decided to
take this step."

He paused and watched the listener's face eagerly, glancing quickly
away as soon as she looked up.

"And you still wish me to break it to Maud, and in the way you
said?"

"If you will.--But I do so wish you would let me know your own
thoughts about this. You have so much claim to be considered. Maud
is in reality yours far more than she is ours. Will it--do you
think now it will really be for our own happiness? Will the
explanation you are able to give be satisfactory to her? What will
be her attitude towards us? You know her character--you understand
her."

"If the future could be all as calm as the past year has been," said
Miss Bygrave, "I should have nothing to urge against your wishes."

"And this will contribute to it," exclaimed Enderby. "This would
give Emily the very support she needs."

Miss Bygrave looked into his face, which had a pleading earnestness,
and a deep pity lay in her eyes.

"Let it be so," she said with decision. "I myself have much hope
from Maud's influence. I will write and tell her not to renew her
engagement, and she will be with us at the end of September."

"But you will not tell her anything till she comes?"

"No."

Miss Bygrave lived in all but complete severance from the world.
When Maud Enderby was at school, she felt strongly and painfully the
contrast between her own home life and that of her companions. The
girl withdrew into solitary reading and thinking; grew ever more
afraid of the world; and by degrees sought more of her aunt's
confidence, feeling that here was a soul that had long since
attained to the peace which she was vainly seeking.

But it was with effort that Miss Bygrave brought herself to speak to
another of her form of faith. After that Christmas night when she
addressed Maud for the first time on matters of religion, she had
said no second word; she waited the effect of her teaching, and the
girl's spontaneous recurrence to the subject. There was something in
the very air of the still, chill house favourable to ascetic
gravity. A young girl, living under such circumstances, must either
pine away, eating her own heart, or become a mystic, and find her
daily food in religious meditation.

Only when her niece was seventeen years old did Miss Bygrave speak
to her of worldly affairs. Her own income, she explained, was but
just sufficient for their needs, and would terminate upon her death;
had Maud thought at all of what course she would choose when the
time for decision came? Naturally, only one thing could suggest
itself to the girl's mind, and that was to become a teacher. To
begin with, she took subordinate work in the school where she had
been a pupil; later, she obtained the engagement at Dr. Tootle's.

An education of this kind, working upon Maud Enderby's natural
temperament, resulted in an abnormal character, the chief trait of
which was remarkable as being in contradiction to the spirit of her
time. She was oppressed with the consciousness of sin. Every most
natural impulse of her own heart she regarded as a temptation to be
resisted with all her strength. Her ideal was the same as Miss
Bygrave's, but she could not pursue it with the latter's assured
calm; at every moment the voice of her youth spoke within her, and
became to her the voice of the enemy. Her faith was scarcely capable
of formulation in creeds; her sins were not of omission or
commission in the literal sense; it was an attitude of soul which
she sought to attain, though ever falling away. What little she saw
of the world in London, and afterwards at her home by the sea-side,
only served to increase the trouble of her conscience, by making her
more aware of her own weakness. For instance, the matter of her
correspondence with Waymark. In very truth, the chief reason why she
had given him the permission he asked of her was, that before so
sudden and unexpected a demand she found herself confused and
helpless; had she been able to reflect, the temptation would
probably have been resisted, for the pleasantness of the thought
made her regard it as a grave temptation. Casuistry and sophistical
reasoning with her own heart ensued, to the increase of her morbid
sensitiveness; she persuaded herself that greater insight into the
world's evil would be of aid in her struggle, and so the contents of
Waymark's first letter led her to a continuance of the
correspondence. A power of strong and gloomy description which she
showed in her letters, and which impressed Waymark, afforded the key
to her sufferings; her soul in reality was that of an artist, and,
whereas the artist should be free from everything like moral
prepossession, Maud's aesthetic sensibilities were in perpetual
conflict with her moral convictions. She could not understand
herself, seeing that her opportunities had never allowed her to
obtain an idea of the artistic character. This irrepressible delight
and interest in the active life of the world, what could it be but
the tendency to evil, most strongly developed? These heart-burnings
whenever she witnessed men and women rejoicing in the exercise of
their natural affections, what could that be but the proneness to
evil in its grossest form?

It was naturally a great surprise to Maud when she received the
letter from her aunt, which asked her not to continue her engagement
into the new quarter, giving as a reason merely that the writer
wished for her at home. It was even with something of dread and
shrinking that she looked forward to a renewal of the old life.
Still, it was enough that her aunt had need of her. On her return to
London, she was met with strange revelations. Miss Bygrave's story
had been agreed upon between herself and Paul. It had been deemed
best to make Mrs. Enderby's insanity the explanation of Maud's
removal from her parents, and the girl, stricken as she was with
painful emotions, seemed to accept this undoubtingly.

The five years or so since Paul Enderby's reappearance in England
seemed to have been not unprosperous. The house to which Maud was
welcomed by her father and mother was not a large one, and not in a
very fashionable locality, but it was furnished with elegance. Mrs.
Enderby frequently had her hired brougham, and made use of it to
move about a good deal where people see and are seen. Mr. Enderby's
business was "in the City." How he had surmounted his difficulties
was not very clear; his wife learned that he had brought with him
from America a scheme for the utilisation of waste product in some
obscure branch of manufacture, which had been so far successful as
to supply him with a small capital. He seemed to work hard, leaving
home at nine each morning, getting back to dinner at half-past six,
and, as often as not, spending the evening away from home, and not
returning till the small hours. He had the feverish eye of a man
whose subsistence depends upon speculative acuteness and restless
calculation. No doubt he was still so far the old Paul, that,
whatever he undertook, he threw himself into it with surpassing
vigour.

Mrs. Enderby was in her thirty-eighth year, and still handsome. Most
men, at all events, would have called her so, for most men are
attracted by a face which is long, delicate, characterless, and
preserves late the self-conscious expression of a rather frivolous
girl of seventeen. She had ideals of her own, which she pursued
regardless of the course in which they led her; and these ideals
were far from ignoble. To beauty of all kinds she was passionately
sensitive. As a girl she had played the piano well, and, though the
power had gone from long disuse, music was still her chief passion.
Graceful ease, delicacy in her surroundings, freedom from domestic
cares, the bloom of flowers, sweet scents--such things made up her
existence. She loved her husband, and had once worshipped him; she
loved her recovered daughter; but both affections were in her, so to
speak, of aesthetic rather than of moral quality.

Intercourse between Maud and her parents, now that they lived
together, was, as might have been expected, not altogether natural
or easy. She came to them with boundless longings, ready to expend
in a moment the love of a lifetime; they, on their side, were
scarcely less full of warm anticipation; yet something prevented the
complete expression of this mutual yearning. The fault was not in
the father and mother if they hung back somewhat; in very truth,
Maud's pure, noble countenance abashed them. This, their child, was
so much the superior of them both; they felt it from the first
moment, and could never master the consciousness. Maud mistook this
for coldness; it checked and saddened her. Yet time brought about
better things, though the ideal would never be attained. In her
father, the girl found much to love; her mother she could not love
as she had hoped, but she regarded her with a vast tenderness, often
with deep compassion. Much of sympathy, moreover, there was between
these two. Maud's artistic temperament was inherited from her
mother, but she possessed it in a stronger degree, of purer quality,
and under greater restraint. This restraint, however, did not long
continue to be exercised as hitherto. Life for the first time was
open before her, and the music which began to fill her ears, the
splendour which shone into her eyes, gradually availed to still that
inner voice which had so long spoken to her in dark admonishings.
She could not resign herself absolutely to the new delight; it was
still a conflict; but from the conflict itself she derived a kind of
joy, born of the strength of her imagination.

Yes, there was one portion of the past which dwelt with her, and by
degrees busied her thoughts more and more. The correspondence with
Waymark had ceased, and by her own negligence. In those days of
mental disturbance which preceded her return to London, his last
letter had reached her, and this she had not replied to. It had been
her turn to write, but she had not felt able to do so; it had seemed
to her, indeed, that, with her return home, the correspondence would
naturally come to an end; with a strange ignorance of herself, such
as now and then darkens us, she had suddenly come to attach little
value to the connection. Not improbably, Waymark's last two letters
had been forced and lacking in interest. He had never said anything
which could be construed into more than an expression of friendly
interest, or intellectual sympathy. It may be that Maud's condition,
dimly prophetic of the coming change, required more than this, and
she conceived a certain dissatisfaction. Then came the great event,
and for some weeks she scarcely thought of her correspondent. One
day, however, she chanced upon the little packet of his letters, and
read them through again. It was with new eyes. Thoughts spoke to her
which had not been there on the first reading. Waymark had touched
at times on art and kindred subjects, and only now could she
understand his meaning. She felt that, in breaking off her
connection with him, she had lost the one person who could give her
entire sympathy; to whom she might have spoken with certainty of
being understood, of all the novel ideas which possessed her; who,
indeed, would have been invaluable as a guide in the unknown land
she was treading. It was now almost the end of the year; more than
three months had gone by since she received that last letter from
him. Could she write now, and let him know that she was in London?
She could not but give expression to her altered self; and would he
be able to understand her? Yet,--she needed him; and there was
something of her mother in the fretting to which she was now and
then driven by the balked desire. At length she was on the point of
writing a letter, with whatever result, when chance spared her the
trouble.

One morning in December, she went with her mother to an exhibition
of pictures in Bond Street. Such visits had been common of late;
Mrs. Enderby could rarely occupy herself at home, and pictures, as
everything beautiful, always attracted her. They had been in the
gallery a few minutes only, when Maud recognised Waymark close at
hand. He was looking closely at a canvas, and seemed quite unaware
of her proximity. She laid her hand on her mother's arm, and spoke
in a nervous whisper.

"Mother, I know that gentleman."

"This one?" asked Mrs. Enderby, indicating Waymark, with a smile.
She showed no surprise, any more than she would have done had Maud
been only her friend.

"Yes. If he should notice me, may I introduce him to you? He was at
the school where I taught a year ago."

"Why, certainly, my love," replied her mother, with cheerful assent.
"It is quite natural that you should have acquaintances I should
like to know. Shall I ask him to come and see us?"

There was no opportunity of answering. Waymark, in moving on, had
glanced round at the groups of people, and his eye had fallen on
Maud. He seemed uncertain; looked quickly away; glanced again, and,
meeting her eyes, raised his hat, though still without conviction in
his face. Maud came naturally forward a step or two, and they shook
hands; then at once she introduced him to her mother. No one ever
experienced awkward pauses in Mrs. Enderby's presence; conversation
linked itself with perfect ease, and in a minute they were examining
the pictures together. Mrs. Enderby had made up her mind with regard
to her new acquaintance in one or two gleams of her quick eyes, and
then talked on in an eager, intelligent way, full of contagious
enthusiasm, which soon brought out Waymark's best powers. Maud said
very little. Whenever it was possible unobserved, she gazed at
Waymark's face. She found herself thinking that, in external
appearance, he had improved since she last saw him. He had no longer
that hungry, discontented look to which she had grown accustomed in
the upper schoolroom at Dr. Tootle's; his eye seemed at once quieter
and keener; his complexion was brighter; the habitual frown had
somewhat smoothed away. Then, he was more careful in the matter of
dress. On the whole, it seemed probable that his circumstances had
changed for the better.

Waymark, on his side, whilst he talked, was not less full of
speculation about Maud. For the change in her appearance was
certainly much more noticeable than it could be in his own. Not only
that she had put aside her sad-coloured and poor raiment for a
costume of tasteful and attractive simplicity--this, of course,
her mother's doing--but the look of shrinking, almost of fear,
which he had been wont to see on her face, was entirely gone. Her
eyes seemed for ever intelligent of new meanings; she was pale, but
with the pallor of eager, joy-bringing thought. There was something
pathetic in this new-born face; the lips seemed still to speak of
past sorrows, or, it might be, to hold unspoken a sad fate
half-foreseen.

If this renewal of acquaintanceship came just at the right time for
Maud, it was no less welcome to Waymark. When he wrote his last
letter to her, it had proceeded more from a sense of obligation than
any natural impulse. For he was then only just recovering from a
period of something like despair. His pursuit of Ida Starr to London
had been fruitless. It was true that she had left her former abode,
and the landlady professed to be ignorant of her new one, though she
admitted that she had seen Ida scarcely two hours before Waymark's
arrival. He wrote, but had no reply. His only comfort was an
ever-rising suspicion of the truth (as he would learn it later), but
fears were, on the whole, strongest within him. Confidence in her he
had not. All the reflections of that last evening on Hastings pier
lived and re-lived in his mind; outcome of the cynicism which was a
marked feature in his development, and at the same time tending to
confirm it. She had been summoned back suddenly by a letter; who but
a simpleton could doubt what that meant? He thought of Sally, of
course, and the step she had taken; but could he draw conclusions
about Ida from Sally, and did ever two such instances come within a
man's experience? To Sally herself he had naturally had recourse,
but in vain. She said that she knew nothing of the lost girl. So
Waymark fought it out, to the result of weariness; then plunged into
his work again, and had regained very much his ordinary state of
mind when Maud Enderby unexpectedly came before him.

He called upon the Enderbys, and was soon invited to dine, which
necessitated the purchase of a dress suit. On the appointed evening,
he found Maud and her mother in a little drawing-room, which had a
pleasant air of ease and refinement. It was a new sensation for
Waymark as he sank into a soft chair, and, in speaking, lowered his
voice, to suit the quietness of the room. The soft lamp-light
spreading through the coloured shade, the just perceptible odour of
scent when Mrs. Enderby stirred, the crackling of the welcome fire,
filled him with a sense of luxury to which he was not accustomed. He
looked at Maud. She was beautiful in her evening dress; and, marking
the grave, sweet thoughtfulness of her face, the grace of her
movements, the air of purity which clung about her, his mind turned
to Ida Starr, and experienced a shock at the comparison. Where was
Ida at this moment? The mere possibilities which such a question
brought before his mind made him uneasy, almost as if he had
forgotten himself and uttered aloud some word all unfit for ladies'
ears. The feeling was a novel one, and, in afterwards recalling it,
he could smile rather contemptuously, If we are enraptured with one
particular flower, shall we necessarily despise another, whose
beauty and perfume happen to be of quite a different kind?

Mr. Enderby appeared, followed by another gentleman. Waymark noticed
an unpleasant heat in the hand held out to him; there was a flush in
Paul's cheeks, too, and his eyes were very bright. He greeted the
visitor with somewhat excessive warmth, then turned and introduced
his companion, by the name of Mr. Rudge.

Waymark observed that this gentleman and his hostess were on terms
of lively intimacy. They talked much throughout the evening.

During the three months that followed, Waymark's intercourse with
the Enderbys was pretty frequent. Mrs. Enderby asked few questions
about him, and Maud was silent after she had explained Waymark's
position, so far as she was acquainted with it, and how she had come
to know him. To both parents, the fact of Maud's friendship was a
quite sufficient guarantee, so possessed were they with a conviction
of the trustworthiness of her judgment, and the moral value of her
impulses. In Waymark's character there was something which women
found very attractive; strength and individuality are perhaps the
words that best express what it was, though these qualities would
not in themselves have sufficed to give him his influence, without a
certain gracefulness of inward homage which manifested itself when
he talked with women, a suggestion, too, of underlying passion which
works subtly on a woman's imagination. There was nothing commonplace
in his appearance and manner; one divined in him a past out of the
ordinary range of experiences, and felt the promise of a future
which would, in one way or another, be remarkable.

The more Waymark saw of Maud Enderby the more completely did he
yield to the fascination of her character. In her presence he
enjoyed a strange calm of spirit. For the first time he knew a woman
who by no word or look or motion could stir in him a cynical
thought. Here was something higher than himself, a nature which he
had to confess transcended the limits of his judgment, a soul with
insight possibly for ever denied to himself. He was often pained by
the deference with which she sought his opinion or counsel; the
words in which he replied to her sounded so hollow; he became so
often and so keenly sensible of his insincerity,--a quality which,
with others, he could consciously rely upon as a resource, but
which, before Maud, stung him. He was driven to balance judgments,
to hesitate in replies, to search his own heart, as perhaps never
before.

Artificial good humour, affected interest, mock sympathy, were as
far from her as was the least taint of indelicacy; every word she
uttered rang true, and her very phrases had that musical fall which
only associates itself with beautiful and honest thought. She never
exhibited gaiety, or a spirit of fun, but could raise a smile by an
exquisite shade of humour--humour which, as the best is, was more
than half sadness. Nor was she fond of mixing with people whom she
did not know well; when there was company at dinner, she generally
begged to be allowed to dine alone. Though always anxious to give
pleasure to her parents, she was most happy when nothing drew her
from her own room; there she would read and dream through hours
There were times when the old dreaded feelings took revenge;
night-wakings, when she lay in cold anguish, yearning for the dawn.
She was not yet strong enough to face past and future, secured in
attained conviction. As yet, she could not stir beyond the present,
and in the enjoyment of the present was her strength.





CHAPTER XIX

IN THE MEANTIME




It was one Wednesday evening in early April, that Waymark found a
letter awaiting him, addressed in a hand he at once recognised.

"Will you come and see me? I am at home after eight o'clock till the end
of the week, and all day on Sunday.

I. S."

No distinct pleasure was aroused in Waymark as he read this. As was
always the case for hours after he had left Maud's presence, her face
and voice lived with him to the exclusion of every other thought. There
was even something of repulsion in the feeling excited by his thus
having the memory of Ida brought suddenly before him; her face came as
an unwelcome intruder upon the calm, grave mood which always possessed
him on these evenings. In returning home each Wednesday night, Waymark
always sought the speediest and quietest route, unwilling to be brought
in contact with that life of the streets which at other times delighted
him. Ida's note seemed a summons from that world which, for the moment,
he held at a distance. But the call was not to be silenced at his will.
He began to wonder about her life during the past half-year. Why had she
written just now, after so long a silence? Where, and under what
circumstances, should he meet her? Did she think to find him the same as
when they last talked together?

Through the night he woke constantly, and always with thoughts busy
about Ida. In the morning his first impulse was to re-read her
message; received so carelessly, it had in the meantime become of
more account, and Waymark laughed in his wonted way as he saw
himself thus swayed between forces he could not control. The
ordinary day's task was neglected, and he impatiently waited for the
hour when he could be sure of finding Ida at home. The address was
at Fulham, and, on reaching it, he found a large new block of the
kind known as model lodging-houses. Ida's number was up at the very
top. When he knocked, the door opened immediately, and she stood
there, holding out her hand to him.

She wore the same dress that she had worn at Hastings, but the gold
brooch and watch-chain were missing, and her hair was arranged in a
simpler way. She was a trifle pale, perhaps, but that might be due
to the excitement of the moment; her voice shook a little as she
spoke.

Waymark looked about him as he went in. There appeared to be two
rooms, one of them a very small bedroom, the other fitted with a
cooking-grate and oven; the kind of tenement suitable to very poor
working-people. The floors were bare, and there was nothing in the
way of furniture beyond the most indispensable articles: a table,
two chairs, and a few cups, saucers, and plates on a shelf; through
the half-open door, he saw that the bed-room was equally plain. A
fire was burning, and a kettle on it; and in front, on a little
square piece of carpet, lay Ida's inseparable friend, Grim. Grim had
lifted his head at Waymark's entrance, and, with gathering curiosity
in his eyes, slowly stood up; then stretched himself, and, looking
first at one, then at the other, waited in doubt.

Ida stooped and took him up in her arms.

"And who's this?" she asked, talking to him as one talks to a child,
whilst she pressed his warm black cheek against her own. "Does Grim
remember who this is? We still keep together," she added, looking at
Waymark. "All day long, whilst I'm away, he keeps house; I'm often
afraid he suffers dreadfully from loneliness, but, you see, I'm
obliged to lock him in. And he knows exactly the time when I come
home. I always find him sitting on that chair by the door, waiting,
waiting, oh so patiently! And I often bring him back something nice,
don't I, Grimmy? You should see how delighted he is as soon as I
enter the door."

Ida was changed, and in many ways. She seemed to have grown younger;
in her voice and manner there was a girlishness which was quite new
to Waymark. Her motions were lighter and nimbler; there was no
longer that slow grace of step and carriage which had expressed
absolute leisure, and with it had gone, perhaps, something of
dignity, which used to sit so well upon her. She laughed from time
to time in a free, careless way; formerly she seldom did more than
smile. In the old days, there was nothing about her suggestive of
what are called the domestic virtues; now she seemed perfectly at
home amid these simple surroundings, and, almost as soon as her
visitor had sat down, she busied herself in laying the table in a
quick, ready way, which came of the habit of waiting upon herself.

"You'll have a cup of tea with me?" she said, looking at Waymark
with the curiosity which seemed to show that she also found
something changed in him. "I only get home about eight o'clock, and
this is the quietest and pleasantest meal in the day for me."

"What do you do all day, then?" Waymark asked, softening the
bluntness of his question with a smile.

She stepped near to him, and held out her hands for him to look at;
then, as he met her eyes again, laughed merrily.

"Do you guess?" she asked.

"I believe I can. You have gone back to the laundry again?"

"Yes."

"And how long is it since you did so?"

"How long is it since we last saw each other?"

"Did you begin at once when you returned to London?"

"Yes."

Waymark kept silence, whilst Ida poured out a cup of tea for him,
and then took her seat at the table.

"Don't you think I'm comfortable here?" Ida said. "It's like having
a house of my own. I see nothing of the other people in the
building, and feel independent."

"Did you buy the furniture yourself?"

"Yes; just the things I couldn't do without. I pay only
three-and-sixpence a week, and so long as I can earn that, I'm sure
at all events of a home, where I can be happy or miserable, as I
please."

Waymark wondered. There was no mistaking the genuineness of her
tone. What, then, had been the reason for this astonishing change, a
change extending, it would seem, almost to temperament? What
intermediate phases had led up to this result? He wished to ask her
for an explanation, but to do so would be to refer to the condition
she had left, and that he did not wish to do. All would no doubt
explain itself as they talked; in the meantime she told him how her
days were ordered, and the details of her life.

"Have you brought your pipe?" she asked, when they had drank their
tea.

"May I smoke?"

"Of course,--just as you used to."

"But it is not the same," Waymark said, half to himself.

"Are you sorry for the change?" Ida asked, as she handed him a box
of matches.

"What induced you to make it?"

"Oh, I have strange fancies. The idea came, just like others do. Are
you sorry?"

"The opposite. Did the idea come whilst we were at Hastings?"

"Before that. Do you remember my telling you that I had a letter
calling me back to London?"

Waymark nodded.

"It was from the laundry, to say I could go to work as soon as I
liked."

"And why didn't you tell me that?"

Ida seemed about to reply, but altered her intention, and, after
being silent for a moment, asked another question.

"Did you think you would ever hear from me?"

"I had given up hope."

"And did you wonder what had become of me?"

"Often. Why didn't you write before?"

"I wasn't ready."

"What does that mean?" Waymark asked, looking closely at her.

"Perhaps I shall be able to explain some day. If not, well, it won't
matter."

"And will you let me see you often?" said Waymark, after thinking a
little. "Are we to be friends again, as we used to be?"

"If you would care for it."

Waymark turned away as their eyes met.

"Certainly I should care for it," he said, feeling all at once a
difficulty in speaking naturally. Then he looked at Ida again; she
was bending down and stroking Grim's ears. There was rather a long
silence, which Waymark at length forced himself to break.

"Shall I bring you books again?" he said.

"I have very little time for reading," was Ida's reply. "It's
better, perhaps, that it is so."

"But why?"

"Perhaps it would make me discontented with my work, and want all
sorts of things I couldn't have."

"You have your Sundays free?" Waymark said, after another rather
long silence.

"Yes."

"Then we must have some expeditions again, now that the fine days
have come. By the by, do you ever see Sally?"

Ida looked up with a smile and said, "Yes; do you?"

"No; but I hear of her."

"From your friend?"

"Yes, from O'Gree."

"Do your other friends still live near you?" Ida asked, speaking
quickly, as if to interrupt what Waymark was about to say.

"The Castis? Oh yes."

"What is Mrs. Casti like?" she said, in a tone which attracted
Waymark's attention.

"Well," he replied, "it's difficult to describe her. There's nothing
very good about her, and I suppose nothing very bad. I see little of
her now; she's almost always ill."

"What's the matter with her?"

"Can't say; general weakness and ill health, I think?"

"But she's so young, isn't she? Has she friends to go and see her?"

"Very few, I think."

"It must be dreadful to be like that," said Ida. "I'm thankful that
I have my health, at all events. Loneliness isn't so hard to bear,
as it must he in illness."

"Do you feel lonely?"

"A little, sometimes," said Ida. "But it's ungrateful to poor old
Grim to say so."

"Have you no acquaintances except the people you work with?"

She shook her head.

"And you don't read? Wouldn't you like to go on reading as you used
to? You have a better head than most women, and it's a pity not to
make use of it. That's all nonsense about in making you
discontented. You won't always be living like this, I suppose."

"Why not?" Ida asked simply.

"Well," said Waymark, without meeting her look, "even if you do, it
will be gain to you to cultivate your mind?"

"Do you wish me to cultivate my mind?"

"You know I do."

Waymark seemed uneasy. He rose and leaned against the mantelpiece.

"I will do whatever you bid me," Ida said. "I can get an hour or so
each night, and I have all Sunday."

Waymark felt only too well the effect of the tone he was adopting.
The situation was by this time clear enough to him, and his own
difficulties no less clear. He avoided looking at Ida as much as he
could. A change had again come over her manner; the girlishness was
modified, the old sadder tone was audible at moments.

"If it's fine on Sunday," he said, "will you go with me to Richmond,
and let us have dinner at the old place?"

"No," was Ida's reply, with a smile, "I can't afford it."

"But I invite you. Of course I didn't mean that it should be any
expense."

She still shook her head.

"No, I must take my own share, wherever we go."

"Then I shall certainly refuse your cup of tea next time I come,"
said Waymark jestingly.

"That's quite different," said Ida. "But if you like, we can go in
the afternoon, and walk about Roehampton; that I can afford."

"As you please. When shall I call for you?"

"Half-past one."

She opened the door for him, and held out her hand. Their eyes did
not meet as they said good-bye. The door closed, and Waymark went so
slowly down the stone steps that he seemed at every moment on the
point of stopping and turning back.





CHAPTER XX

A SUGGESTION




Waymark and Julian Casti were sitting together in the former's room.
It was Saturday evening--two days after Waymark's visit to Ida.
Julian had fallen into a sad reverie.

"How is your wife?" asked his friend, after watching the melancholy
face for a while.

"She said her headache was worse to-night."

"Curiously," observed Waymark, with a little acidity, "it always is
when you have to leave home."

Julian looked up, and seemed to reach a crisis in his thoughts.

"Waymark," he began, reddening as he still always did when greatly
moved, "I fear I have been behaving very foolishly. Many a time I
have wished to speak out to you plainly, but a sort of delicacy--a
wrong kind of delicacy, I think--prevented me. I can't keep this
attitude any longer. I must tell you how things are going on, and
you must give me what help you can. And perhaps I shall be telling
you what you already know?"

"I have suspected."

"Where is the blame?" Julian broke out, with sudden vehemence. "I
cannot think that ever husband was more patient and more indulgent
than I have been. I have refused her nothing that my means could
possibly obtain. I have given up all the old quiet habits of my life
that she mightn't think I slighted her; I scarcely ever open a book
at home, knowing that it irritates her to see me reading; I do my
best to amuse her at all times. How does she reward me? For ever she
grumbles that I can't perform impossibilities,--take her to
theatres, buy her new dresses, procure for her friends and
acquaintances. My wishes, expressed or understood, weigh with her
less than the least of her own caprices. She wantonly does things
which she knows will cause me endless misery. Her companions are
gross and depraved people, who constantly drag her lower and lower,
to their own level. The landlady has told me that, in my absence,
women have called to see her who certainly ought not to enter any
decent house. When I entreat her to give up such associates, her
only answer is to accuse me of selfishness, since I have friends
myself, and yet won't permit her to have any. And things have gone
from bad to worse. Several nights of late, when I have got home, she
has been away, and has not returned till much after midnight. Hour
after hour I have sat there in the extremest misery, waiting,
waiting, feeling as though my brain would burst with its strain! I
have no idea where she goes to. If I ask, she only retorts by asking
me where I spend the nights when I am with you, and laughs
contemptuously when I tell her the truth. Her suspicions and
jealousy are incessant, and torture me past endurance. Once or
twice, I confess, I have lost patience, and have spoken angrily, too
angrily; then she has accused me of brutal disregard of her
sufferings. It would hurt me less if she pierced me with a knife.
Only this morning there was a terrible scene; she maddened me past
endurance by her wretched calumnies--accusing me of I know not
what disgraceful secrets--and when words burst from me
involuntarily, she fell into hysterics, and shrieked till all the
people in the house ran up in alarm. Can you understand what this
means to one of my temperament? To have my private affairs forced
upon strangers in this way tortures me with the pains of hell. I am
naturally reticent and retiring--too much so, I dare say--and no
misery could have been devised for me more dreadful than this. Her
accusations are atrocious, such as could only come from a grossly
impure mind, or at the suggestion of vile creatures. You she hates
with a rabid hatred--God only knows why. She would hate any one
who was my friend, and whose society relieved me for a moment from
my ghastly torments!"

He ceased for very exhaustion, so terribly did the things he
described work upon him.

"What am I to do, Waymark? Can you give me advice?"

Waymark had listened with his eyes cast down, and he was silent for
some time after Julian ceased.

"You couldn't well ask for advice in a more difficult case," he said
at length. "There's nothing for it but to strengthen yourself and
endure. Force yourself into work. Try to forget her when she is out
of sight."

"But," broke in Julian, "this amounts to a sentence of death! What
of the life before me, of the years I shall have to spend with her?
Work, forget myself, forget her,--that is just what I _cannot_ do!
My nerves are getting weaker every day; I am beginning to have fits
of trembling and horrible palpitation; my dreams are hideous with
vague apprehensions, only to be realised when I wake. Work! Half my
misery is caused by the thought that my work is at an end for ever.
It is all forsaking me, the delight of imagining great things, what
power I had of putting my fancies into words, the music that used to
go with me through the day's work. It is long since I wrote a line
of verse. Quietness, peace, a calm life of thought, these things are
what I _must_ have; I thought I should have them in a higher degree
than ever, and I find they are irretrievably lost. I feel my own
weakness, as I never could before. When you bid me strengthen
myself, you tell me to alter my character. The resolution needed to
preserve the better part of my nature through such a life as this,
will never be within my reach. It is fearful to think of what I
shall become as time goes on. I dread myself! There have been
revealed to me depths of passion and misery in my own heart which I
had not suspected. I shall lose all self-control, and become as
selfish and heedless as she is."

"No, you will not," said Waymark encouragingly. "This crisis will
pass over, and strength will be developed. We have a wonderful
faculty for accommodating ourselves to wretchedness; how else would
the world have held together so long? When you begin to find your
voice again, maybe you won't sing of the dead world any longer, but
of the living and suffering. Your thoughts were fine; they showed
you to be a poet; but I have never hidden from you how I wished that
you had been on my side. Art, nowadays, must be the mouthpiece of
misery, for misery is the key-note of modern life."

They talked on, and Julian, so easily moulded by a strong will,
became half courageous.

"One of her reproaches," he said, "is just; I can't meet it. If I
object to her present companions it is my duty to find her more
suitable ones. She lives too much alone. No doubt it is every
husband's duty to provide his wife with society. But how am I to
find it? I am so isolated, and always have been. I know not a soul
who could be a friend to her."

Waymark grew thoughtful, and kept silent.

"One person I know," he said presently, and in a cautious way, "who
might perhaps help you."

"You do?" cried Julian eagerly.

"You know that I make all sorts of queer acquaintances in my
wanderings. Well, I happen to know a girl of about your wife's age,
who, if she were willing, would be just the person you want. She is
quite alone, parentless, and almost without friends. She lives by
herself, and supports herself by working in a laundry. For all this,
she is by no means the ordinary London work-girl; you can't call her
educated, but she speaks purely, and has a remarkably good
intelligence. I met her by chance, and kept up her acquaintance.
There has been nothing wrong--bah! how conventional one is, in
spite of oneself!--I mean to say there has been nothing more than
a pleasant friendship between us; absolutely nothing. We see each
other from time to time, and have a walk, perhaps a meal, together,
and I lend her books. Now, do you think there would be any way of
getting your wife to accept her society, say of an evening now and
then? Don't do anything rash; it is of course clear that _you_ must
have no hand in this. I must manage it if it is to be done.
Naturally, I can't answer at once for the girl's readiness; but I
believe she would do what I asked her to. Do you think it is worth
entertaining, this idea?"

"I do, indeed; it would be salvation, I really believe."

"Don't be too sanguine, Casti; that's another of your faults. Still,
I know very well that this girl could cure your wife of her ill
propensities if any living creature could. She is strong in
character, admirably clear-headed, mild, gentle, womanly; in fact,
there is perhaps no one I respect so much, on the whole."

"Respect, only?" asked Julian, smiling.

"Ye-es; yes, I believe I am perfectly honest in saying so, though I
couldn't have been so sure about it some little time ago. Our
relations, no doubt, are peculiar; on her side there is no more
warmth than on mine"--Waymark tried so to believe--"and indeed
her clear sight has no doubt gauged me fairly well at my true
value."

"What is her name?"

"Ida Starr."

"What!" cried Julian startled. "That is a strange thing! You have
noticed the scar on Harriet's forehead?"

"Well?"

"Why, it was a wound given her at school by a girl of that very
name! I remember the name as well as possible. It was a blow with a
slate dealt in passion--some quarrel or other. They were both
children then, and Ida Starr left the school in consequence."

"Is it possible that it is the same person?" asked Waymark,
wondering and reflecting.

"If so, that puts a new difficulty in our way."

"Removes one, I should have thought"

"Harriet is not of a very forgiving nature," said Julian gravely.

"I shouldn't have supposed she was; but a long time has gone by
since then, and, after all, one is generally glad to see an old
school-fellow."

At this point the conversation was interrupted by a knock at the
door, followed by the announcement that a gentleman named O'Gree
wished to see Mr. Waymark. Waymark smiled at Julian.

"Don't run away," he said. "You ought to know O'Gree in the flesh."

The teacher came into the room with a rush, and was much taken aback
at the sight of a stranger present. Perspiration was streaming
profusely from his face, which was aglow with some great
intelligence. After being introduced to Casti, he plunged down on a
chair, and mopped himself with his handkerchief, uttering
incoherencies about the state of the weather. Waymark made an effort
to bring about a general conversation, but failed; O'Gree was so
preoccupied that any remark addressed to him had to be repeated
before he understood it, and Julian was in no mood for making new
acquaintances. So, in a few minutes, the latter took his hat and
left, Waymark going with him to the door to speak a few words of
encouragement.

"The battle's won!" cried O'Gree, with much gesticulation, as soon
as Waymark returned. "The campaign's at an end!--I'm sorry if I've
driven your friend away, but I was bound to tell you."

"All right. Let me have a description of the manoeuvres."

"Look here, my boy," said O'Gree, with sudden solemnity, "you've
never been very willing to talk to me about her. Now, before I tell
you anything, I want to know this. _Why_ wouldn't you tell me how
you first got to know her, and so on?"

"Before I answer, I want to know this: have you found out why I
wouldn't?"

"Yes, I have--that is, I suppose I have--and from her own lips,
too! You knew her when she lived near the Strand there, eh?"

"I did."

"Well now, understand, my boy. I don't want to hear anything
disagreeable; in fact, I won't listen to anything disagreeable;--
all I want to know is, whether I may safely tell you what she has
told me. If you don't know it already, there's no need to talk of
it."

"I understand, and I don't think you can tell me anything I'm not
well aware of."

"Sure, then, I will tell you, and if there's another girl as brave
and honest as Sally in all this worruld, I'll be obliged if you'll
make me acquainted with her! Well, you know she has a Saturday
afternoon off every month. It hasn't been a very cheerful day, but it
couldn't be missed; and, as it was too rainy to walk about, I
couldn't think of any better place to go to than the British Museum.
Of course I wanted to find a quiet corner, but there were people
about everywhere, and the best we could manage was in the
mummy-room. We looked at all the mummies, and I told her all I knew
about them, and I kept thinking to myself: Now, how can I work round
to it? I've tried so often, you know, and she's always escaped me,
somehow, and I couldn't help thinking it was because I hadn't gone
about it in the proper way. Well, we'd been staring at a mummy for
about a quarter of an hour, and neither of us said anything, when
all at once a rare idea came into my head. 'Sally,' I said, glancing
round to see that there was no one by, 'that mummy was very likely a
pretty girl like you, once.' 'Do you think so?' she said, with that
look of hers which makes me feel like a galvanic battery. 'I do,' I
said, 'and what's more, there may once have been another mummy, a
man-mummy, standing by her just as I am standing by you, and wanting
very much to ask her something, and shaking in his shoes for fear he
shouldn't get the right answer.' 'Did the mummies wear shoes when
they were alive?' she asked, all at once. 'Wear shoes!' I cried out.
'I can't tell you, Sally; but one thing I feel very sure of, and
that is that they had hearts. Now, suppose,' I said, 'we're those
two mummies--' 'I'm sure it's bad luck!' interrupted Sally. 'Oh no,
it isn't,' said I, seeing something in her face which made me think
it was the opposite. 'Let me go on. Now, suppose the one mummy said
to the other, "Sally--"' '_Were_ the girl-mummies called Sally?'
she interrupted again. 'Sure I can't say,' said I, 'but we'll
suppose so. Well, suppose he said, "Sally if I can hit on some means
of making a comfortable home here by the Nile,--that's to say, the
Thames, you know,--will you come and keep it in order for me, and
live with me for all the rest of our lives?' Now what do you think
the girl-mummy would have answered:'"

Waymark laughed, but O'Gree had become solemn.

"She didn't answer at once, and there was something very queer in
her face. All at once she said, 'What has Mr. Waymark told you about
me?' 'Why, just nothing at all,' I said, rather puzzled. 'And do you
know,' she asked then, without looking at me, 'what sort of a girl I
am?' Well, all at once there came something into my head that I'd
never thought of before, and I was staggered for a moment; I
couldn't say anything. But I got over it. 'I don't want to know
anything,' I said. 'All I know is, that I like you better than I
ever shall any one else, and I want you to promise to be my wife,
some day.' 'Then you must let me tell you all my story first,' she
said. 'I won't answer till you know everything.' And so she told me
what it seems you know. Well, if I thought much of her before, I
thought a thousand times as much after that! And do you know what? I
believe it was on my account that she want and took that place in
the shop."

"Precisely," said Waymark.

"You think so?" cried the other, delighted.

"I guessed as much when she met me that day and said I might let you
know where she was."

"Ha!" exclaimed O'Gree, with a long breath.

"And so the matter is settled?"

"All but the most important part of it. There's no chance of my
being able to marry for long enough to come. Now, can you give me
any advice? I've quite made up my mind to leave Tootle. The position
isn't worthy of a gentleman; I'm losing my self-respect. The
she-Tootle gets worse and worse. If I don't electrify her, one of
these days, with an outburst of ferocious indignation, she will only
have my patience to thank. Let her beware how she drives the lion to
bay!"

"Couldn't you get a non-resident mastership?"

"I must try, but the pay is so devilish small."

"We must talk the matter over."





CHAPTER XXI

DIPLOMACY




Waymark had a good deal of frank talk with himself before meeting
Ida again on the Sunday. Such conversation was, as we know,
habitual. Under the circumstances, however, he felt that it behoved
him to become especially clear on one or two points; never mind what
course he might ultimately pursue, it was always needful to him to
dissect his own motives, that he might at least be acting with full
consciousness.

One thing was clear enough. The fiction of a mere friendship between
himself and Ida was impossible to support. It had been impossible
under the very different circumstances of a year ago, and was not
likely to last a week, now that Ida could so little conceal how her
own feelings had changed. What, then, was to be their future? Could
he accept her love, and join their lives without legal bond,
thinking only of present happiness, and content to let things
arrange themselves as they would in the years to come?

His heart strongly opposed such a step. Clearly Ida had changed her
life for his sake, and was undergoing hardships in the hope of
winning his respect as well as his love. Would she have done all
this without something of a hope that she might regain her place in
the every-day world, and be held by Waymark worthy to become his
wife? He could not certainly know, but there was little doubt that
this hope had led her on. Could he believe her capable of yet nobler
ideas; could he think that only in reverence of the sanctity of
love, and without regard to other things, she had acted in this way;
then, regarding her as indeed his equal, he would open his heart to
her and speak somewhat in this way. "Yes, I do love you; but at the
same time I know too well the uncertainty of love to go through the
pretence of binding myself to you for ever. Will you accept my love
in its present sincerity, neither hoping nor fearing, knowing that
whatever happens is beyond our own control, feeling with me that
only an ignoble nature can descend to the affectation of union when
the real links are broken?" Could Waymark but have felt sure of her
answer to such an appeal, it would have gone far to make his love
for Ida all-engrossing. She would then be his ideal woman, and his
devotion to her would have no bounds.

But he felt too strongly that in thus speaking he would sadden her
by the destruction of her great hope. On the other hand, to offer to
make her his legal wife would be to do her a yet greater injustice,
even had he been willing to so sacrifice himself. The necessity for
legal marriage would be a confession of her inferiority, and the
sense of being thus bound would, he well knew, be the surest means
of weakening his affection. This affection he could not trust. How
far was it mere passion of the senses, which gratification would
speedily kill?

In the case of his feeling towards Maud Enderby there was no such
doubt. Never was his blood so calm as in her presence. She was to
him a spirit, and in the spirit he loved her. With Maud he might
look forward to union at some distant day, a union outwardly of the
conventional kind. It would be so, not on account of any inferiority
to his ideal in Maud, for he felt that there was no height of his
own thought whither she would not in time follow him; but simply
because no point of principle would demand a refusal of the yoke of
respectability, with its attendant social advantages. And the
thought of thus binding himself to Maud had nothing repulsive, for
the links between them were not of the kind which easily yield, and
loyalty to a higher and nobler nature may well be deemed a duty.

So far logical arguing. But the fact remained that he had not the
least intention of breaking off his intercourse with Ida, despite
the certainty that passion would grow upon him with each of their
meetings, rendering their mutual relations more and more dangerous.
Of only one thing could he be sure: marriage was not to be thought
of. It remained, then, that he was in danger of being led into
conduct which would be the source of grievous unrest to himself, and
for Ida would lay the foundation of much suffering. Waymark was
honest enough in his self-communing to admit that he could not trust
himself. Gross deception he was incapable of, but he would not
answer for it that, the temptation pressing him too hard, he might
not be guilty of allowing Ida to think his love of more worth than
it really was. She knew his contempt of conventional ties, and her
faith in him would keep her from pressing him to any step he
disliked; she would trust him without that. And such trust would be
unmerited.

It was significant that he did not take into account loyalty to Maud
as a help in resisting this temptation. He was too sure of himself
as regarded that purer love; let what might happen, his loyalty to
Maud would be unshaken. It was independent of passion, and passion
could not shake it.

Then came the subject of the proposed acquaintance between Ida and
Mrs. Casti. An impulse of friendship had led to his conceiving the
idea; together, perhaps, with the recollection of what Ida had said
about her loneliness, and the questions she had asked about Mrs.
Casti. Waymark had little doubt that those questions indicated a
desire to become acquainted with his friends; the desire was
natural, under the circumstances. Still, he regretted what he had
done. To introduce Ida to his friends would be almost equivalent to
avowing some conventional relations between her and himself. And, in
the next place, it would be an obstacle in the way of those
relations becoming anything but conventional. Well, and was not this
exactly the kind of aid he needed in pursuing the course which he
felt to be right? Truly; yet--

At this point Waymark broke into that half contemptuous, half
indulgent laugh which so frequently interrupted his self-communings,
and, it being nearly one o'clock, set out to call for Ida. The day
was fine, and, when they left the steamer at Putney, they walked on
to the heath in good spirits and with cheerful talk. To be with Ida
under these circumstances, in the sunlight and the fresh breeze, was
very different from sitting with her yonder in the little room, with
the lamp burning on the table, and the quietness of night around.
The calm pleasure of passionless intercourse was realised and
sufficing. Ida, too, seemed content to enjoy the moment; there was
not that wistfulness in her eyes which had been so new to him and so
strong in its influence. It was easy to find indifferent subjects of
conversation, and to avoid the seriousness which would have been
fatal.

When they had found a pleasant spot to rest awhile before turning
back, Waymark made up his mind to fulfil his promise to Julian.

"It's rather strange," he said, "that you should have been asking me
questions about Mrs. Casti. Since then I've discovered that you
probably know her, or once did."

Ida looked surprised.

"Do you remember once having a schoolfellow called Harriet Smales?"

"Is that _her_ name?"

"It was, before her marriage."

Ida became grave, and thought for some moments before speaking
again.

"Yes, I remember her," she said, "and not pleasantly."

"You wouldn't care to renew her acquaintance then?" said Waymark,
half glad, in spite of himself, that she spoke in this way.

Ida asked, with earnestness, how he had made this discovery. Waymark
hesitated, but at length told the truth. He explained that Mrs.
Casti suffered from the want of companionship, and that he had
mentioned Ida's name to Julian; whence the discovery.

"Has _she_ been told about me?" asked Ida.

"Nothing was to be said till I had spoken to you."

Waymark paused, but presently continued in a more serious tone. In
recurring to that conversation with Julian, his friend's trouble
spoke strongly to him once more, and overcame selfish thoughts.

"I said that I had come to know you by chance, and that--strange
as it might sound--we were simply friends." He glanced for an
instant at Ida; her eyes were turned to the ground. "You will
believe me," he went on quickly, "when I tell you that I really said
nothing more?"

"I never doubt a word of yours," was Ida's quiet reply.

"Casti was overjoyed at the thought of finding such a friend for his
wife. Of course I told him that he must not certainly count either
on your consent or on his wife's. Hers I thought to be perhaps more
doubtful than yours."

"Could I really be of any use to her," asked Ida, after a silence,
"with so little free time as I have?"

"Supposing she would welcome you, I really believe you could be of
great use. She is a strange creature, miserably weak in body and
mind. If you could get to regard this as a sort of good work you
were called upon to undertake, you would very likely be little less
than an angel of mercy to both of them. Casti is falling into
grievous unhappiness--why, you will understand sufficiently if you
come to know them."

"Do you think she bears malice against me?"

"Of that I know nothing. Casti said she had never spoken of you in
that way. By-the-by, she still has a scar on her forehead, I often
wondered how it came there."

Ida winced.

"What a little termagant you must have been!" exclaimed Waymark,
laughing. "How hard it is to fancy you at that age, Ida.--What was
the quarrel all about?"

"I can't speak of it," she replied, in a low, sad voice. "It is so
long ago; and I want to forget it."

Waymark kept silence.

"Do you wish me to be her friend?" Ida asked, suddenly looking up.

"Certainly not if you dislike the thought."

"No, no. But you think it would be doing good? you would like me to
help your friend if I can?"

"Yes, I should," was Waymark's reply.

"Then I hope she will be willing to let me go and see her. I will do
my very best. Let us lose no time in trying. It is such a strange
thing that we should meet again in this way; perhaps it is something
more than chance."

Waymark smiled.

"You think I am superstitious?" she asked quickly. "I often feel so.
I have all sorts of hopes and faiths that you would laugh at."

Ida's thoughts were busy that night with the past and the future.
The first mention of Harriet's name had given her a shock; it
brought back with vividness the saddest moments of her life; it
awoke a bitter resentment which mere memory had no longer kept the
power to revive. That was only for a moment, however. The more she
accustomed herself to the thought, the easier it seemed to be to
bury the past in forgiveness. Harriet must have changed so much
since those days. Possibly there would never be a mention between
them of the old trouble; practically they would be new
acquaintances, and would be very little helped to an understanding
of each other by the recollections of childhood. And then Ida felt
there was so much to be glad of in the new prospects. She longed for
a world more substantial than that of her own imaginations, and
here, as she thought, it would be opened to her. Above all, by
introducing her to his friends, Waymark had strengthened the
relations between her and himself. He was giving her, too, a chance
of showing herself to him in a new light. For the first time he
would see her under the ordinary conditions of a woman's life in a
home circle Ida had passed from one extreme to the other. At present
there was nothing she desired so much as the simple, conventional,
every-day existence of the woman who has never swerved from the
beaten track. She never saw a family group anywhere without envying
the happiness which to her seemed involved in the mere fact of a
home and relations. Her isolation weighed heavily upon her. If there
were but some one who could claim her services, as of right, and in
return render her the simple hum-drum affection which goes for so
much in easing the burden of life. She was weary of her solitary
heroism, though she never regarded it as heroism, but merely as the
path in which she was naturally led by her feelings. Waymark could
not but still think of her very much in the old light, and she
wished to prove to him how completely she was changed. The simple
act of making tea for him when he came to see her had been a
pleasure; it was domestic and womanly, and she had often glanced at
his face to see whether he noticed it at all. Then the fact of
Harriet's being an invalid would give her many opportunities for
showing that she could be gentle and patient and serviceable. Casti
would observe these things, and doubtless would speak of them to
Waymark. Thinking in this way, Ida became all eagerness for the new
friendship. There was of course the possibility that Harriet would
refuse to accept her offered kindness, but it seemed very unlikely,
and the disappointment would be so great that she could not bear to
dwell on the thought. Waymark had promised to come as soon as he had
any news. The time would go very slowly till she saw him.

Waymark had met Harriet very seldom of late. Julian spent regularly
one evening a week with him, but it was only occasionally that
Waymark paid a visit in turn. He knew that he was anything but
welcome to Mrs. Casti, who of course had neither interest nor
understanding for the conversation between himself and Julian.
Formerly he had now and then tried his best to find some common
subject for talk with her, but the effort had been vain; she was
hopelessly stupid, and more often than not in a surly mood, which
made her mere presence difficult to be endured. Of late, whenever he
came, she made her illness an excuse for remaining in her bed-room.
And hence arose another trouble. The two rooms were only divided by
folding doors, and when Harriet got impatient with what she
conceived to be the visitor's undue stay, she would rap on the
doors, to summon Julian to her. This rapping would take place
sometimes six or seven times in half an hour, till Waymark hastened
away in annoyance. And indeed there was little possibility of
conversing in Julian's own room. Julian sat for ever in a state of
nervous apprehension, dreading the summons which was sure to come
before long. When he left the room for a moment, in obedience to it,
Waymark could hear Harriet's voice speaking in a peevish or
ill-tempered tone, and Julian would return pale with agitation,
unable to utter consecutive words. It was a little better when the
meeting was at Waymark's, but even then Julian was anything but at
his ease. He would often sit for a long time in gloomy silence, and
seldom could even affect his old cheerfulness. The change which a
year had made in him was painful. His face was growing haggard with
ceaseless anxiety. The slightest unexpected noise made him start
nervously. His old enthusiasms were dying away. His daily work was a
burden which grew more and more oppressive. He always seemed weary,
alike in body and mind.

Harriet's ailments were not of that unreal kind which hysterical
women often affect, for the mere sake of demanding sympathy, though
it was certain she made the most of them. The scrofulous taint in
her constitution was declaring itself in many ways. The most serious
symptoms took the form of convulsive fits. On Julian's return home
one evening, he had found her stretched upon the floor, unconscious,
foaming at the mouth, and struggling horribly. Since then, he had
come back every night in agonies of miserable anticipation. Her
illness, and his own miseries, were of course much intensified by
her self-willed habits. When she remained away from home till after
midnight, Julian was always in fear lest some accident had happened
to her, and once or twice of late she had declared (whether truly or
not it was impossible to say) that she had had fits in the open
street. Weather made no difference to her; she would leave home on
the pretence of making necessary purchases, and would come back
drenched with rain. Protest availed nothing, save to irritate her.
At times her conduct was so utterly unreasonable that Julian looked
at her as if to see whether she had lost her senses. And all this he
bore with a patience which few could have rivalled. Moments there
were when she softened, and, in a burst of hysterical weeping,
begged him to forgive her for some unusual violence, pleading her
illness as the cause; and so sensible was he to compassion, that he
always vowed in his mind to bear anything rather than deal harshly
with her. Love for her, in the true sense, he had never felt, but
his pity often led him to effusions of tenderness which love could
scarcely have exceeded. He was giving up everything for her. Through
whole evenings he would sit by her, as she lay in pain, holding her
hands, and talking in a way which he thought would amuse or interest
her.

"You're sorry you married me," she would often say at such times.
"It's no good saying no; I'm sure you are."

That always made Julian think of her father, and of his own promise
always to be a friend to the poor, weak, ailing creature; and he
strengthened himself in his resolution to bear everything.

Waymark decided that he would venture on the step of going to see
Harriet during the daytime, whilst Julian was away, in order to
speak of Ida. This he did on the Monday, and was lucky enough to
find her at home. She was evidently surprised at his visit, and
perhaps still more so at the kind and friendly way in which he began
to speak to her. In a few minutes he had worked round to his
subject. He had, he said, a friend, a young lady who was very
lonely, and for whom he wanted to find an agreeable companion. It
had occurred to him that perhaps he might ask to be allowed to
introduce her. Waymark had concluded that this would probably be the
best way of putting it; Harriet would perhaps be flattered by being
asked to confer the favour of her acquaintance. And indeed she
seemed so; there was even something like a momentary touch of colour
in her pale cheek.

"Does Julian know her?" she asked, fixing her eyes on his with the
closest scrutiny.

"No, he does not."

He would leave her to what conclusion she liked about his relations
to Ida; in reality that mattered little.

"She is some one," he went on, "for whom I have a great regard. As I
say, she has really no friends, and she earns her own living. I feel
sure you would find her company pleasant; she is sensible and
cheerful, and would be very grateful for any kindness you showed
her. Her name, by-the-by, is Ida Starr."

"Ida Starr?"

"Is the name familiar to you?"

"I used to know some one called that."

"Indeed? How strange it would be if you knew her already. I have
spoken to her of you, but she didn't tell me she knew your name."

"Oh no, she wouldn't. It was years and years ago. We used to go to
school together--if it's the same."

The way in which this was spoken was not very promising, but Waymark
would not be discouraged, having once brought himself to the point
of carrying the scheme through. Harriet went on to ask many
questions, all of which he answered as satisfactorily as he could,
and in the end she expressed herself quite willing to renew Ida's
acquaintance. Waymark had watched her face as closely as she did
his, and he was able to read pretty accurately what was passing in
her mind. Curiosity, it was clear, was her main incentive. Good will
there was none; its growth, if at all possible, would depend upon
Ida herself. There was even something very like a gleam of hate in
her dark eyes when Ida's name was first spoken.

"When may I bring her!" Waymark asked. "Perhaps you would like to
talk it over with Julian first? By-the-by, perhaps he remembers her
as your schoolfellow?"

"I don't know, I'm sure," she said, with a pretence of indifference.
"I don't see what he can have to say against it. Bring her as soon
as you like."

"She is not free till seven at night. Perhaps we had better leave it
till next Sunday?"

"Why? Why couldn't she come to-morrow night?"

"It is very good of you. I have no doubt she would be glad."

With this understanding Waymark took his departure.

"Do you remember Ida Starr?" was Harriet's first question to her
husband when he returned that evening.

"Certainly I do," replied Julian, with complete self-control. "Why?"

"When did you see her last?" followed quickly, whilst she examined
him as keenly as she had done Waymark.

"See her?" repeated Julian, laughing. "Do you mean the girl you went
to school with?"

"Of course I do."

"I don't know that I ever saw her in my life."

"Well, she's coming here to-morrow night."

An explanation followed.

"Hasn't he ever spoken to you about her?" Harriet asked.

"No," said Julian, smiling. "I suppose he thought it was a private
affair, in which no one else had any interest."

"I hope you will like her," he said presently. "It will be very nice
to have a friend of that kind, won't it?"

"Yes,--if she doesn't throw one of my own plates at me."





CHAPTER XXII

UNDER-CURRENTS




"Well, how do you like her?" Julian asked, when their visitors had
left them.

"Oh, I dare say she's all right," was the reply. "She's got a good
deal to say for herself."

Julian turned away, and walked about the room.

"What does she work at?" said Harriet, after glancing at him
furtively once or twice.

"I have no idea."

"It's my belief she doesn't work at all."

"Why should Waymark have said so, then?" asked Julian, standing
still and looking at her. He spoke very quietly, but his face
betrayed some annoyance.

Harriet merely laughed, her most ill-natured and maliciously
suggestive laugh, and rose from her seat. Julian came up and faced
her.

"Harriet," he said, with perfect gentleness, though his lips
trembled, "why do you always prefer to think the worst of people? I
always look for the good rather than the evil in people I meet."

"We're different in a good many things, you see," said Harriet, with
a sneer. Her countenance had darkened. Julian had learnt the
significance of her looks and tones only too well. Under the
circumstances it would have been better to keep silence, but
something compelled him to speak.

"I am sure of this," he said. "If you will only meet her in her own
spirit, you will find her a valuable friend--just such a friend as
you need. But of course if you begin with all manner of prejudices
and suspicions, it will be very hard for her to make you believe in
her sincerity. Certainly her kindness, her sympathy, her whole
manner, was perfect to-night."

"You seemed to notice her a good deal."

"Naturally I did, being so anxious that you should find a friend and
companion."

"And who is she, I should like to know?" said Harriet, with
perfection of subdued acrimony. "How can I tell that she's a proper
person to be a friend to me? I know what her mother was, at all
events."

"Her mother? What do you know of her mother?"

Julian had never known the whole story of that scar on his wife's
forehead.

"Never mind," said Harriet, nodding significantly.

"I have no idea what you mean," Julian returned. "At all events I
can trust Waymark, and I know very well he would not have brought
her here, if she hadn't been a proper person for you to know. But
come," he added quickly, making an effort to dismiss the
disagreeable tone between them, "there's surely no need for us to
talk like this, Harriet. I am sure you will like her, when you know
her better. Promise me that you will try, dear. You are so lonely,
and it would rejoice me so to feel that you had a friend to help you
and to be a comfort to you. At all events you will judge her on her
own merits, won't you, and put aside all kind of prejudice?"

"I haven't said I shouldn't; but I suppose I must get to know her
first?"

Ominous as such a commencement would have been under any other
circumstances, Julian was so prepared for more decided hostility,
that he was even hopeful. When he met Waymark next, the change in
his manner was obvious; he was almost cheerful once more. And the
improvement held its ground as the next two or three weeks went by.
Ida came to Beaufort Street often, and Julian was able to use the
freedom he thus obtained to spend more time in Waymark's society.
The latter noticed the change in him with surprise.

"Things go well still?" he would ask, when Julian came in of an
evening.

"Very well indeed. Harriet hasn't been out one night this week."

"And you think it will last?"

"I have good hope."

They did not speak much of Ida, however. It was only when three
weeks had gone by that Julian asked one night, with some hesitation
in putting the question, whether Waymark saw her often.

"Pretty often," was the reply. "I am her tutor, in a sort of way. We
read together, and that kind of thing."

"At her lodgings?"

"Yes. Does it seem a queer arrangement?"

"She seems very intelligent," said Julian, letting the question pass
by, and speaking with some constraint. "Isn't it a pity that she
can't find some employment better suited to her?"

"I don't see what is open. Could you suggest anything?"

Julian was silent.

"In any case, it won't last very long, I suppose?" he said, looking
up with a smile which was rather a trembling of the lip.

"Why?"

They gazed at each other for a moment.

"No," said Waymark, shaking his head and smiling. "It isn't as you
think. It is perfectly understood between us that we are to be
agreeable company to each other, and absolutely nothing beyond that.
I have no motive for leading you astray in the matter. However
things were, I would tell you frankly."

There was another silence.

"Do you think there is anything like confidence between your wife
and her?" Waymark asked.

"That I hardly know. When I am present, of course they only talk
about ordinary women's interests, household affairs, and so on."

"Then you have no means of--well, of knowing whether she has
spoken about me to your wife in any particular way?"

"Nothing of the kind has ever been hinted to me"

"Waymark," Julian continued, after a pause, "you are a strange
fellow."

"In what respect."

"Do you mean to tell me honestly that--that you--"

"Well?--you mean to say, that I am not in love with the girl?"

"No, I wasn't going to say that," said Julian, with his usual
bashfulness, heightened in this case by some feeling which made him
pale. "I meant, do you really believe that _she_ has no kind of
regard for you beyond mere friendship?"

"Why? Have you formed any conclusions of your own on the point?"

"How could I help doing so?"

"And you look on me," said Waymark, after thinking for a moment, "as
an insensible dog, with a treasure thrown at his feet which he is
quite incapable of appreciating or making use of?"

"No. I only feel that your position must be a very difficult one.
But perhaps you had rather not speak of these things?"

"On the contrary. You are perfectly right, and the position is as
difficult as it well could be."

"You had made your choice, I suppose, before you knew Ida at all?"

"So far from that, I haven't even made it yet. I am not at all sure
that my chance of ever marrying Maud Enderby is not so utterly
remote, that t ought to put aside all thought of it. In that
case--"

"But this is a strange state of mind," said Julian, with a forced
laugh. "Is it possible to balance feelings in this way?"

"You, in my position, would have no doubt?"

"I don't know Miss Enderby," said Julian, reddening.

Waymark walked up and down the room, with his hands behind his back,
his brows bent. He had never told his friend anything of Ida's
earlier history; but now he felt half-tempted to let him know
everything. To do so, might possibly give him that additional motive
to a clear and speedy decision in the difficulties which grew ever
more pressing. Yet was it just to Ida to speak of these things even
to one who would certainly not repeat a word? Once or twice he all
but began, yet in the end a variety of motives kept him silent.

"Well," he exclaimed shortly, "we'll talk about this another time.
Perhaps I shall have more to tell you. Don't be gloomy. Look, here I
am just upon the end of my novel. If all goes smoothly I shall
finish it in a fortnight, and then I will read it to you."

"I hope you may have better luck with it than I had," said Julian.

"Oh, your time is yet to come. And it's very likely I shall be no
better off. There are things in the book which will scarcely
recommend it to the British parent. But it shall be published, if it
is at my own expense. If it comes to the worst, I shall sell my
mining shares to Woodstock."

"After all," said Julian, smiling, "you are a capitalist."

"Yes, and much good it does me."

Since that first evening Julian had refrained from speaking to his
wife about Ida, beyond casual remarks and questions which could
carry no significance. Harriet likewise had been silent. As far as
could be observed, however, she seemed to take a pleasure in Ida's
society, and, as Julian said, with apparently good result to
herself. She was more at home than formerly, and her health even
seemed to profit by the change. Still, there was something not
altogether natural in all this, and Julian could scarcely bring
himself to believe in the happy turn things seemed to be taking. In
Harriet herself there was no corresponding growth of cheerfulness or
good-nature. She was quiet, but with a quietness not altogether
pleasant; it was as though her thoughts were constantly occupied, as
never hitherto; and her own moral condition was hardly likely to be
the subject of these meditations. Julian, when he sat reading,
sometimes became desperately aware of her eyes being fixed on him
for many minutes at a time. Once, on this happening, he looked up
with a smile.

"What is it, dear?" he asked, turning round to her. "You are very
quiet. Shall I put away the book and talk?"

"No; I'm all right."

"You've been much better lately, haven't you?" he said, taking her
hand playfully. "Let me feel your pulse; you know I'm half a
doctor."

She drew it away peevishly. But Julian, whom a peaceful hour had
made full of kindness, went on in the same gentle way.

"You don't know how happy it makes me to see you and Ida such good
friends. I was sure it would be so. Don't you feel there is
something soothing in her society? She speaks so gently, and always
brings a sort of sunshine with her."

Harriet's lips curled, very slightly, but she said nothing.

"When are you going to see her again? It's hardly fair to let the
visiting be always on her side, is it?"

"I shall go when I feel able. Perhaps to-morrow."

Julian presently went back to his book again. If he could have seen
the look Harriet turned upon him when his face was averted, he would
not have read so calmly.

That same evening Harriet herself was the subject of a short
conversation between Ida and Waymark, as they sat together in the
usual way.

"I fear there will never be anything like confidence between us,"
Ida was saying. "Do you know that I am sometimes almost afraid of
her; sometimes she looks and speaks as if she hated me."

"She is a poor, ill-conditioned creature," Waymark re plied, rather
contemptuously.

"Can you explain," asked Ida, "how it was that Mr. Casti married
her?"

"For my life, I can't! I half believe it was out of mere pity; I
shouldn't wonder if the proposal came from her side. Casti might
once have done something; but I'm afraid he never will now."

"And he is so very good to her. I pity him from my heart whenever I
see them together. Often I have been so discouraged by her cold
suspicious ways, that I half-thought I should have to give it up,
but I felt it would be cruel to desert him so. I met him in the
street the other night just as I was going to her, and he thanked me
for what I was doing in a way that almost made me cry."

"By-the-by," said Waymark, "you know her too well to venture upon
anything like direct criticism of her behaviour, when you talk
together!"

"Indeed, I scarcely venture to speak of herself at all. It would be
hard to say what we talk about."

"Of course," Waymark said, after a short silence, "there are limits
to self-devotion. So long as it seems to you that there is any
chance of doing some good, well, persevere. But you mustn't be
sacrificed to such a situation. The time you give her is so much
absolute loss to yourself."

"Oh, but I work hard to make up for it. You are not dissatisfied
with me?"

"And what if I were? Would it matter much?"

This was one of the things that Waymark was ever and again saying,
in spite of himself. He could not resist the temptation of proving
his power in this way; it is so sweet to be assured of love, even
though every voice within cries out against the temptation to enjoy
it, and condemns every word or act that could encourage it to hope.
Ida generally met such remarks with silence; but in this instance
she looked up steadily, and said--

"Yes, it _would_ matter much." Waymark drew in his breath, half
turned away--and spoke of some quite different matter.

Harriet carried out her intention of visiting Ida on the following
day. In these three weeks she had only been to Ida's lodgings once.
The present visit was unexpected. She waited about the pavement for
Ida's return from work, and shortly saw her approaching.

"This is kind of you," Ida said. "We'll have some tea, and then, if
you're not too tired, we might go into the park. It will be cool
then."

She dreaded the thought of sitting alone with Harriet. But the
latter said she must get home early, and would only have time to sit
for half an hour. When Ida had lit her fire, and put the kettle on,
she found that the milk which she had kept since the morning for
Grim and herself had gone sour; so she had to run out to a dairy to
fetch some.

"You won't mind being left alone for a minute?" she said.

"Oh, no; I'll amuse myself with Grim."

As soon as she was alone, Harriet went into the bed-room, and began
to examine everything. Grim had followed her, and came up to rub
affectionately against her feet, but she kicked him, muttering, "Get
off; you black beast!" Having scrutinised the articles which lay
about, she quickly searched the pockets of a dress which hung on the
door, but found nothing except a handkerchief. All the time she
listened for any footfall on the stone steps without. Next she went
to the chest of drawers, and was pleased to find that they were
unlocked. In the first she drew out there were some books and
papers. These she rummaged through very quickly, and at length,
underneath them, came upon a little bundle of pawn-tickets. On
finding these, she laughed to herself, and carefully inspected every
one of them. "Gold chain," she muttered; "bracelet; seal-skin;--
what was she doing with all those things, I wonder? Ho, ho, Miss
Starr?"

She started; there was a step on the stairs. In a second everything
was replaced, and she was back in the sitting-room, stooping over
Grim, who took her endearments with passive indignation.

"Have I been long?" panted Ida, as she came in. "The kettle won't be
a minute. You'll take your things off?"

Harriet removed her hat only. As Ida went about, preparing the tea,
Harriet watched her with eyes in which there was a new light. She
spoke, too, in almost a cheerful way, and even showed a better
appetite than usual when they sat down together.

"You are better to-day?" Ida said to her.

"Perhaps so; but it doesn't last long."

"Oh, you must be more hopeful. Try not to look so much on the dark
side of things. How would you be," she added, with a good-humoured
laugh, "if you had to work all day, like me? I'm sure you've a great
deal to make you feel happy and thankful."

"I don't know what," returned Harriet coldly.

"But your husband, your home, your long, free days?"

The other laughed peevishly. Ida turned her head away for a moment;
she was irritated by this wretched humour, and, as had often been
the case of late, found it difficult to restrain some rather
trenchant remark.

"It may sound strange," she said, with a smile, "but I think I
should be very willing to endure bad health for a position something
like yours."

Harriet laughed again, and still more unpleasantly.

Later in the evening Harriet went to call upon her friend Mrs.
Sprowl. Something of an amusing kind seemed to be going forward in
front of the house. On drawing near and pressing into the crowd of
loitering people, she beheld a spectacle familiar to her, and one
which brought a smile to her face. A man of wretched appearance, in
vile semblance of clothing which barely clung together about him,
was standing on his head upon the pavement, and, in that attitude,
drawling out what was meant for a song, while those around made
merry and indulged in practical jokes at his expense. One such put a
sudden end to the exhibition. A young ragamuffin drew near with a
handful of rich mud, and carefully cast it right into the singer's
inverted mouth. The man was on his feet in an instant, and pursuing
the assailant, who, however, succeeded in escaping down an alley
hard by. Returning, the man went from one to another in the crowd,
holding out his hand. Harriet passed on into the bar.

"Slimy's up to his larks to-night," exclaimed Mrs. Sprowl, with a
laugh, as she welcomed her visitor in the bar-parlour. "He'll be
losin' his sweet temper just now, see if he don't, an' then one o'
them chaps 'll get a bash i' the eye."

"I always like to see him singing on his head," said Harriet, who
seemed at once thoroughly at her ease in the atmosphere of beer and
pipes.

"It's funny, ain't it? And 'ow's the world been a-usin' you,
Harriet? Seen anything more o' that affectionate friend o' yourn?"

This was said with a grin, and a significant wink.

"Have you found out anything about her?" asked Harriet eagerly.

"Why yes, I have; somethin' as 'll amuse you. It's just as I
thought."

"How do you mean?"

"Why, Bella, was in 'ere th' other night, so I says to her, 'Bella,'
I says, 'didn't you never hear of a girl called Ida Starr?' I says.
'Course I did,' she says. 'One o' the 'igh an' 'aughty lot, an' she
lived by herself somewhere in the Strand.' So it's just as I told
you."

"But what is she doing now?"

"You say she's turned modest."

"I can't make her out quite," said Harriet, reflecting, with her
head on one side. "I've been at her lodgings tonight, and, whilst
she was out of the room, I happened to get sight of a lot of
pawn-tickets, for gold chains and sealskins, and I don't know what."

"Spouted 'em all when she threw up the job, I s'pose," suggested
Mrs. Sprowl. "You're sure she does go to work?"

"Yes, I've had somebody to follow her and watch her. There's Waymark
goes to see her often, and I shouldn't wonder if she half keeps him;
he's just that kind of fellow."

"You haven't caught no one else going there?" asked Mrs. Sprowl,
with another of her intense winks.

"No, I haven't, not yet," replied Harriet, with sudden vehemence,
"but I believe he does go there, or else sees her somewhere else."

"Well," said the landlady, with an air of generous wisdom, "I told
you from the first as I 'adn't much opinion of men as is so anxious
to have their wives friendly with other women. There's always
something at the bottom of it, you may bet. It's my belief he's one
too many for you, Harriet; you're too simple-minded to catch him."

"I'll have a good try, though," cried the girl, deadly pale with
passion. "Perhaps I'm not so simple as you think. I'm pretty quick
in tumbling to things--no fear. If they think I don't notice what
goes on, they must take me for a damned silly fool, that's all! Why,
I've seen them wink at each other, when they thought I wasn't
looking."

"You're not such a fool as to leave them alone together?" said the
woman, who seemed to have a pleasure in working upon Harriet's
jealousy.

"No fear! But they understand each other; I can see that well
enough. And he writes to her; I'm dead sure he writes to her. Let me
get hold of a letter just once, that's all!"

"And he's orful good-natured to her, ain't he? Looks after her when
she has tea with you, and so on?"

"I should think he did. It's all--'Won't Miss Starr have this?'
and 'Won't Miss Starr have that?' He scarcely takes his eyes off of
her, all the time."

"I know, I know; it's allus the same! You keep your eyes open,
Harriet, and you'll 'ave your reward, as the Scriptures says."

When she reached home, Julian was in the uneasy condition always
brought about by these late absences. To a remark he made about the
time, she vouchsafed no answer.

"Have you been with Ida all the evening?" he asked.

"No, I haven't," was her reply.

She went into the bed-room, and was absent for a few minutes, then
reappeared.

"Do you know where my silver spoon is?" she asked, looking closely
at him.

"Your silver spoon?" he returned, in surprise. "Have you lost it?"

The article in question, together with a fork, hod been a
wedding-present from Mrs. Sprowl, whose character had in it a sort
of vulgar generosity, displayed at times in gifts to Harriet.

"I can't find it," Harriet said. "I was showing it to Ida Starr when
she was here on Sunday, and now I come to look for it, it's gone."

"Oh, it can't be very far off," said Julian. "You'll find it if you
look."

"But I tell you I've looked everywhere. It's gone, that's all I
know."

"Well, but--what do you mean? How can it have gone?"

"I don't know. I only know I was showing it her on Sunday."

"And what connection is there between the two things?" asked Julian,
almost sternly. "You don't wish me to understand that Ida Starr
knows anything about the spoon?"

"How can I tell? It's gone."

"Come," exclaimed Julian, with a laugh, "this is too absurd,
Harriet! You must have taken leave of your senses. If it's gone,
then some one in the house has taken it."

"And why not Ida Starr?"

Julian stared at her with mingled anger and alarm.

"Why not? Simply because she is incapable of such a thing."

"Perhaps _you_ think so, no doubt. You think a good deal of her, it
seems to me. Perhaps you don't know quite as much about her as I
do."

"I fancy I know much more," exclaimed Julian indignantly.

"Oh, do you?"

"If you think her capable of stealing your spoon, you show complete
ignorance of her character. What do you know of her that you should
have such suspicions?"

"Never mind," said Harriet, nodding her head obstinately.

There was again a long silence. Julian reflected.

"We will talk about this again to-morrow," he said, "when you have
had time to think. You are under some strange delusion. After all, I
expect you will find the spoon, and then you'll be sorry for having
been so hasty."

Harriet became obstinately silent. She cut a piece of bread and
butter, and took it into the other room. Julian paced up and down.






CHAPTER XXIII

THE OPPORTUNITY




One or two days after this, Ida Starr came home from work with a
heavy heart. Quite without notice, and without explanation, her
employer had paid her a week's wages and dismissed her. Her first
astonished questions having been met with silence by the honest but
hard-grained woman who kept the laundry, Ida had not condescended to
any further appeal. The fact was that the laundress had received a
visit from a certain Mrs. Sprowl, who, under pretence of making
inquiries for the protection of a young female friend, revealed the
damaging points of Ida's story, and gained the end plotted with
Harriet Casti.

Several circumstances united to make this event disastrous to Ida.
Her wages were very little more than she needed for her week to week
existence, yet she had managed to save a shilling or two now and
then. The greater part of these small savings she had just laid out
in some new clothing, the reason for the expense being not so much
necessity, as a desire to be rather better dressed when she
accompanied Waymark on those little country excursions which had
reestablished themselves of late. By no means the smallest part of
Ida's heroism was that involved in this matter of external
appearance. A beautiful woman can never be indifferent to the way in
which her beauty is arrayed. That Waymark was not indifferent to
such things she knew well, and often she suffered from the thought
that one strong means of attraction was lost to her. If at one
moment Ida was conscious of her claim to inspire a noble enthusiasm,
at another she fell into the saddest self-distrust, and, in her
hunger for love, would gladly have sought every humblest aid of
grace and adornment. So she had yielded to the needs of her heart,
and only this morning was gladdened by the charm of some new
clothing which became her well, and which Waymark would see in a day
or two. It lay there before her now that she returned home, and, in
the first onset of trouble, she sat down and cried over it.

She suffered the more, too, that there had been something of a
falling off of late in the good health she generally enjoyed. The
day's work seemed long and hard; she felt an unwonted need of rest.
And these things caused trouble of the mind. With scarcely an hour
of depression she had worked on through those months of solitude,
supported by the sense that every day brought an accession of the
strength of purity, that the dark time was left one more stage
behind, and that trust in herself was growing assured.

But it was harder than she had foreseen, to maintain reserve and
reticence when her heart was throbbing with passion; the effect upon
her of Waymark's comparative coldness was so much harder to bear
than she had imagined. Her mind tortured itself incessantly with the
fear that some new love had taken possession of him. And now there
had befallen her this new misfortune, which, it might be, would once
more bring about a crisis in her life.

Of course she must forthwith set about finding new work. It would be
difficult, seeing that she had now no reference to give. Reflection
had convinced her that it must have been some discovery of her
former life which had led to her sudden dismissal, and this
increased her despondency. Yet she would not give way to it. On the
following morning she began her search for employment, and day after
day faced without result the hateful ordeal. Hope failed as she saw
her painfully-eked-out coins become fewer and fewer. In a day or two
she would have nothing, and what would happen then?

When she returned to London to begin a new life, now nearly a year
ago, she had sold some and pawned the rest of such possessions as
would in future be useful to her. Part of the money thus obtained
had bought the furniture of her rooms; what remained had gone for a
few months to supplement her weekly wages, thus making the winter
less a time of hardship than it must otherwise have been. One or two
articles yet remained capable of being turned into small sums, and
these she now disposed of at a neighbouring pawnbroker's--the same
she had previously visited on the occasion of pawning one or two of
the things, the tickets for which Harriet Casti had so carefully
inspected. She spoke to no one of her position. Yet now the time was
quickly coming when she must either have help from some quarter or
else give up her lodgings. In food she was already stinting herself
to the verge of starvation. And through all this she had to meet her
friends as hitherto, if possible without allowing any trace of her
suffering to become visible. Harriet, strange to say, had been of
late a rather frequent visitor, and was more pressing than formerly
in her invitations. Ida dreaded her coming, as it involved the
unwarrantable expense of obtaining luxuries now unknown in her
cupboard, such as tea and butter. And, on the other hand, it was
almost impossible to affect cheerfulness in the company of the
Castis. At times she caught Julian's eyes fixed upon her, and felt
that he noticed some change in her appearance. She had a sense of
guilt in their presence, as if she were there on false pretences.
For, together with her daily work, much of her confidence had gone;
an inexplicable shame constantly troubled her. She longed to hide
herself away, and be alone with her wretchedness.

If it came to asking for help, of whom could she ask it but of
Waymark? Yet for some time she felt she could not bring herself to
that. In the consciousness of her own attitude towards him, it
seemed to her that Waymark might well doubt the genuineness of her
need, might think it a mere feint to draw him into nearer relations.
She could not doubt that he knew her love for him; she did not
desire to hide it, even had she been able. But him she could not
understand. A struggle often seemed going on within him in her
presence; he appeared to repress his impulses; he was afraid of her.
At times passion urged her to break through this barrier between
them, to bring about a situation which would end in clear mutual
understanding, cost her what it might. At other times she was driven
to despair by the thought that she had made herself too cheap in his
eyes. Could she put off the last vestige of her independence, and,
in so many words, ask him to give her money?

This evening she expected Waymark, but the usual time of his coming
went by. She sat in the twilight, listening with painful intentness
to every step on the stairs; again and again her heart leaped at
some footfall far below, only to be deceived. She had not even now
made up her mind how to speak to him, or whether to speak to him at
all; but she longed passionately to see him. The alternations of
hope and disappointment made her feverish. Illusions began to
possess her. Once she heard distinctly the familiar knock. It seemed
to rouse her from slumber: she sprang to the door and opened it, but
no one was there. She ran half way down the stairs, but saw no one.
It was now nearly midnight. The movement had dispelled for a little
the lethargy which was growing upon her, and she suddenly came to a
resolution. Taking a sheet of note-paper, she wrote this:--

"I have been without work for a fortnight. All my money is done, and I
am in want. Can you send me some, for present help, till I get more
work? _Do not bring it yourself, and do not speak a word of this when
you see me, I beg you earnestly_. If I shall fail to get work, I will
speak to you of my own accord.

I. S."

She went out and posted this, though she had no stamp to put on the
envelope; then, returning, she threw herself as she was on to the bed,
and before long passed into unconsciousness.

Waymark's absence that evening had been voluntary. His work had come to
a standstill; his waking hours were passed in a restless misery which
threatened to make him ill. And to-night he had not dared to go to Ida;
in his present state the visit could have but one result, and even yet
he hoped that such a result might not come about. He left home and
wandered about the streets till early morning. All manner of projects
occupied him. He all but made up his mind to write a long letter to Ida
and explain his position without reserve. But he feared lest the result
of that might be to make Ida hide away from him once more, and to this
loss he could not reconcile himself. Yet he was further than ever from
the thought of giving himself wholly to her, for the intenser his
feeling grew, the more clearly he recognised its character. This was not
love he suffered from, but mere desire. To let it have its way would be
to degrade Ida. Love might or might not follow, and how could he place
her at the mercy of such a chance as that? Her faith and trust in him
were absolute; could he take advantage of it for his own ends? And, for
all these fine arguments, Waymark saw with perfect clearness how the
matter would end. Self would triumph, and Ida, if the fates so willed
it, would be sacrificed. It was detestable, but a fact; as good already
as an accomplished fact.

And on the following morning Ida's note reached him. It was final.
Her entreaty that he would merely send money had no weight with him
for a moment; he felt that there was a contradiction between her
words and her wishes. This note explained the strangeness he had
noticed in her on their last evening together. He pitied her, and,
as is so often the case, pity was but fuel to passion. He swept from
his mind all obstinate debatings. Passion should be a law unto
itself. Let the future bring things about as it would.

He had risen late, and by the time he had finished a hasty breakfast
it was eleven o'clock. Half an hour after he went up the stairs of
the lodging-house and knocked at the familiar door.

But his knock met with no answer. Ida herself had left home an hour
before. Upon waking, and recalling what she had done, she foresaw
that Waymark would himself come, in spite of her request. She could
not face him. For all that her exhaustion was so great that walking
was slow and weary, she went out and strayed at first with no aim;
but presently she took the direction of Chelsea, and so came to
Beaufort Street. She would go in and see Harriet, who would give her
something to eat. She cared little now for letting it be known that
she had left her employment; with the step which she had at last
taken, her position was quite changed; she had only kept silence
lest Waymark should come to know. Harriet was at first surprised to
see her then seemed glad.

"I've only a minute ago sent a note, asking you to be sure to come
round to-night. I wanted you to help me with this new hat; you have
such good taste in trimming."

Ida would have been astonished at another time; for Harriet to be
paying compliments was indeed something novel. There was a flush on
the latter's usually sallow face; she did not sit down, and kept
moving aimlessly about.

"Give me your hat and jacket," she said, "and let me take them into
the other room."

She took them away, and returned. Ida was not looking at her;
otherwise she must surely have noticed that weird pallor which had
all at once succeeded to the unhealthy flush, and the unwonted
gleaming of her eyes. Of what passed during those next two hours Ida
had afterwards no recollection. They ate together, and they talked,
Ida as if in a dream, Harriet preoccupied in a way quite out of her
habit. Ida explained that she was out of employment, news which
could scarcely be news to the listener, who would in that case have
heard it with far less composure. There were long silences,
generally brought to an end by some outburst of forced merriment
from Harriet. Ida was without consciousness of time, but her
restless imagination at length compelled her to go forth again.
Harriet did not urge her to stay, but rose and watched her as she
went into the other room to put her things on. In a few moments they
had parted.

The instant Harriet, from the head of the stairs, heard the
front-door close, she ran back into her bed-room, put on her hat,
and darted down. Opening the door, she saw Ida moving away at a
short distance. Turning her eyes in the opposite direction, she
perceived a policeman coming slowly down the street. She ran towards
him.

"I've caught her at last," she exclaimed, as she met him, pointing
eagerly after Ida. "She's taken a brooch of mine. I put it in a
particular place in my bed-room, and it's gone."

"Was she alone in the room?" inquired the constable, looking keenly
at Harriet, then down the street.

"Yes, she went in alone to put her things on. Be quick, or she'll be
off!"

"I understand you give her in charge?"

"Of course I do."

A brisk walk of two or three minutes, and they had caught up Ida,
who turned at the sound of the quick footsteps, and stood in
surprise.

"This lady charges you with stealing some articles of hers," said
the constable, looking from face to face. "You must come with me to
the station."

Ida blanched. When the policeman had spoken, she turned to Harriet,
and gazed at her fixedly. She could neither speak nor move. The
constable touched her arm impatiently. Her eyes turned to him, and
she began to walk along by his side.

Harriet followed in silence. There were not many people on the way
to the police-station in King's Road, and they reached it speedily.
They came before the inspector, and the constable made his report.

"Have you got this brooch?" asked the inspector, looking at Ida.

Ida put her hand into one of her jacket-pockets, then into the
other, and from the second brought out the object in question. It
was of gold, and had been given by Julian to his wife just after
their marriage. As she laid it before her on the desk, she seemed
about to speak, but her breath failed, and she clutched with her
hands at the nearest support.

"Look out," exclaimed the inspector. "Don't let her fall."

Five or six times, throughout the day and evening, Waymark had knocked
at Ida's door. About seven o'clock he had called at the Castis', but
found neither of them at home. Returning thence to Fulham, he had walked
for hours up and down, in vain expectation of Ida's coming. There was no
light at her window.

Just before midnight he reached home, having on his way posted a
letter with money in it. As he reached his door, Julian stood there,
about to knock.

"Anything amiss?" Waymark asked, examining his friend by the light
of the street-lamp.

Julian only made a sign to him to open the door. They went upstairs
together, and Waymark speedily obtained a light. Julian had seated
himself on the couch. His face was ghastly.

"What's the matter?" Waymark asked anxiously. "Do you know anything
about Ida?"

"She's locked up in the police cells," was the reply. "My wife has
accused her of stealing things from our rooms."

Waymark stared at him.

"Cacti, what's the matter with you?" he exclaimed, overcome with
fear, in spite of his strong self-command. "Are you ill? Do you know
what you're saying?"

Julian rose and made an effort to control himself.

"I know what I'm saying, Waymark I've only just heard it. She has
come back home from somewhere--only just now--she seems to have
been drinking. It happened in the middle of the day, whilst I was at
the hospital. She gave her in charge to a policeman in the street,
and a brooch was found on her."

"A brooch found on her? Your wife's?"

"Yes. When she came in, she railed at me like a fury, and charged me
with the most monstrous things. I can't and won't go back there
to-night! I shall go mad if I hear her voice. I will walk about the
streets till morning."

"And you tell me that Ida Starr is in custody?"

"She is. My wife accuses her of stealing several things."

"And you believe this?" asked Waymark, under his voice, whilst his
thoughts pictured Ida's poverty, of which he had known nothing, and
led him through a long train of miserable sequences.

"I don't know. I can't say. She says that Ida confessed, and, gave
the brooch up at once. But her devilish malice is equal to anything.
I see into her character as I never did before. Good God, if you
could have seen her face as she told me! And Ida, Ida! I am afraid
of myself, Waymark. If I had stayed to listen another moment, I
should have struck her. It seemed as if every vein was bursting. How
am I ever to live with her again? I dare not! I should kill her in
some moment of madness! What will happen to Ida?"

He flung himself upon the couch, and burst into tears. Sobs
convulsed him; he writhed in an anguish of conflicting passions.
Waymark seemed scarcely to observe him, standing absorbed in
speculation and the devising of a course to be pursued.

"I must go to the police-station," he said at length, when the
violence of the paroxysm had passed and left Julian in the still
exhaustion of despair. "You, I think, had better stay here. Is there
any danger of her coming to seek you?"

Julian made a motion with his hand, otherwise lay still, his pale
face turned upwards.

"I shall be back very quickly," Waymark added, taking his hat. Then,
turning back for a moment, "You mustn't give way like this, old
fellow; this is horrible weakness. Dare I leave you alone?"

Julian stretched out his hand, and Waymark pressed it.





CHAPTER XXIV

JUSTICE




Waymark received from the police a confirmation of all that Julian
had said, and returned home. Julian still lay on the couch, calmer,
but like one in despair. He begged Waymark to let him remain where
he was through the night, declaring that in any case sleep was
impossible for him, and that perhaps he might try to pass the hours
in reading. They talked together for a time; then Waymark lay down
on the bed and shortly slept.

He was to be at the police court in the morning. Julian would go to
the hospital as usual.

"Shall you call at home on your way?" Waymark asked him.

"No."

"But what do you mean to do?"

"I must think during the day. I shall come to-night, and you will
tell me what has happened."

So they parted, and Waymark somehow or other whiled away the time
till it was the hour for going to the court. He found it difficult
to realise the situation; so startling and brought about so
suddenly. Julian had been the first to put into words the suspicion
of them both, that it was all a deliberate plot of Harriet's; but he
had not been able to speak of his own position freely enough to let
Waymark understand the train of circumstances which could lead
Harriet to such resoluteness of infamy. Waymark doubted. But for the
unfortunate fact of Ida's secret necessities, he could perhaps
scarcely have entertained the thought of her guilt. What was the
explanation of her being without employment? Why had she hesitated
to tell him, as soon as she lost her work? Was there not some
mystery at the bottom of this, arguing a lack of complete frankness
on Ida's part from the first?

The actual pain caused by Ida's danger was, strange to say, a far
less important item in his state of mind than the interest which the
situation inspired. Through the night he had thought more of Julian
than of Ida. What he had for some time suspected had now found
confirmation; Julian was in love with Ida, in love for the first
time, and under circumstances which, as Julian himself had said,
might well suffice to change his whole nature. Waymark had never
beheld such terrible suffering as that depicted on his friend's face
during those hours of talk in the night. Something of jealousy had
been aroused in him by the spectacle; not jealousy of the ordinary
gross kind, but rather a sense of humiliation in the thought that he
himself had never experienced, was perhaps incapable of, such
passion as racked Julian in every nerve. This was the passion which
Ida was worthy of inspiring, and Waymark contrasted it with his own
feelings on the previous day, and now since the calamity had fallen.
He had to confess that there was even an element of relief in the
sensations the event had caused in him. He had been saved from
himself; a position of affairs which had become intolerable was got
rid of without his own exertion. Whatever might now happen, the old
state of things would never be restored. There was relief and
pleasure in the thought of such a change, were it only for the sake
of the opening up of new vistas of observation and experience. Such
thoughts as these indicated very strongly the course which Waymark's
development was taking, and he profited by them to obtain a clearer
understanding of himself.

The proceedings in the court that morning were brief. Waymark, from
his seat on the public benches, saw Ida brought forward, and heard
her remanded for a week. She did not see him; seemed, indeed, to see
nothing. The aspect of her standing there in the dock, her head
bowed under intolerable shame, made a tumult within him. Blind anger
and scorn against all who surrounded her were his first emotions;
there was something of martyrdom in her position; she, essentially
so good and noble, to be dragged here before these narrow-natured
slaves of an ignoble social order, in all probability to be
condemned to miserable torment by men who had no shadow of
understanding of her character and her circumstances.

Waymark was able, whilst in court, to make up his mind as to how he
should act. When he left he took his way northwards, having in view
St. John Street Road, and Mr. Woodstock's house.

When he had waited about half an hour, the old man appeared. He gave
his hand in silence. Something seemed to be preoccupying him; he
went to his chair in a mechanical way.

"I have come on rather serious business," Waymark began. "I want to
ask your advice in a very disagreeable matter--a criminal case, in
fact."

Abraham did not at once pay attention, but the last words presently
had their effect, and he looked up with some surprise.

"What have you been up to?" he asked, with rather a grim smile,
leaning back and thrusting his hands in his pockets in the usual
way.

"It only concerns myself indirectly. It's all about a girl, who is
charged with a theft she is perhaps quite innocent of. If so, she is
being made the victim of a conspiracy, or something of the kind. She
was remanded to-day at Westminster for a week."

"A girl, eh? And what's your interest in the business?"

"Well, if you don't mind I shall have to go a little into detail.
You are at liberty?"

"Go on."

"She is a friend of mine. No, I mean what I say; there is absolutely
nothing else between us, and never has been. I should like to know
whether you are satisfied to believe that; much depends on it."

"Age and appearance?"

"About twenty--not quite so much--and strikingly handsome."

"H'm. Position in life?"

"A year ago was on the streets, to put it plainly; since then has
been getting her living at laundry-work."

"H'm. Name?"

"Ida Starr."

Mr. Woodstock had been gazing at the toes of his boots, still the
same smile on his face. When he heard the name he ceased to smile,
but did not move at all. Nor did he look up as he asked the next
question.

"Is that her real name?"

"I believe so."

The old man drew up his feet, threw one leg over the other, and
began to tap upon his knee with the fingers of one hand. He was
silent for a minute at least.

"What do you know about her?" he then inquired, looking steadily at
Waymark, with a gravity which surprised the latter. "I mean, of her
earlier life. Do you know who she is at all?"

"She has told me her whole story--a rather uncommon one, full of
good situations."

"What do you mean?"

The words were uttered with such harsh impatience that Waymark
started.

"What annoys you?" he asked, with surprise.

"Tell me something of the story," said the other, regaining his
composure, and apparently wishing to affect indifference. "I have a
twinge of that damned rheumatism every now and then, and it makes me
rather crusty. Do you think her story is to be depended upon?"

"Yes, I believe it is."

And Waymark linked briefly the chief points of Ida's history, as he
knew it, the old man continually interrupting him with questions.

"Now go on," said Abraham, when he had heard all that Waymark knew,
"and explain the scrape she's got into."

Waymark did so.

"And you mean to tell me," Abraham said, before the story was quite
finished, "that there's been nothing more between you than that?"

"Absolutely nothing."

"I don't believe you."

It was said angrily, and with a blow of the clenched fist on the
table. The old man could no longer conceal the emotion that
possessed him. Waymark looked at him in astonishment, unable to
comprehend his behaviour.

"Well if you don't believe me, of course I can offer no proof; and I
know well enough that every presumption is against me. Still, I tell
you the plain fact; and what reason have I for hiding the truth? If
I had been living with the girl, I should have said so, as an extra
reason for asking your help in the matter."

"What help can I give?" asked Woodstock, again cooling down, though
his eyes had in them a most unwonted light. He spoke as if simply
asking for information.

"I thought you might suggest something as to modes of defence, and
the like. The expenses I would somehow or other meet myself. It
appears that she will plead not guilty."

"And what's your belief?"

"I can't make up my mind."

"In that case, it seems to me, you ought to give her the benefit of
the doubt; especially as you seem to have made up your mind pretty
clearly about this Mrs. What's-her-name."

Waymark was silent, looking at Mr. Woodstock, and reflecting.

"What are your intentions with regard to the girl?" Abraham asked,
with a change in his voice, the usual friendliness coming back. He
looked at the young man in a curious way; one would almost have
said, with apprehensive expectation.

"I have no intentions."

"You would have had, but for this affair?"

"No; you are mistaken. I know the position is difficult to realise."

"Have you intentions, then, in any other quarter?"

"Well, perhaps yes."

"I've never heard anything of this."

"I could scarcely talk of a matter so uncertain."

There was silence. A sort of agitation came upon the old man ever
and again, in talking. He now grew absorbed in thought, and remained
thus for several minutes, Waymark looking at him the while. When at
length Abraham raised his eyes, and they met Waymark's, he turned
them away at once, and rose from the chair.

"I'll look into the business," he said, taking out a bunch of keys,
and putting one into the lock of a drawer in his desk. "Yes, I'll go
and make inquiries." He half pulled out the drawer and rustled among
some papers.

"Look here," he said, on the point of taking something out; but,
even in speaking, he altered his mind. "No; it don't matter. I'll go
and make inquiries. You can go now, if you like;--I mean to say, I
suppose you've told me all that's necessary.--Yes, you'd better
go, and look in again tomorrow morning."

Waymark went straight to Fulham. Reaching the block of tenements
which had been Ida's home, he sought out the porter. When the door
opened at his knock, the first face that greeted him was that of
Grim, who had pushed between the man's legs and was peering up, as
if in search of some familiar aspect.

From the porter he learned that the police had made that afternoon
an inspection of Ida's rooms, though with what result was not known.
The couple had clearly formed their own opinion as to Waymark's
interest in the accused girl, but took the position in a very
matter-of-fact way, and were eager to hear more than they succeeded
in getting out of the police.

"My main object in coming," Waymark explained, "was to look after
her cat. I see you have been good enough to anticipate me."

"The poor thing takes on sadly," said the woman. "Of course I
shouldn't have known nothing if the hofficers hadn't come, and it
'ud just have starved to death. It seems to know you, sir?"

"Yes, yes, I dare say. Do you think you could make it convenient to
keep the cat for the present, if I paid you for its food?"

"Well, I don't see why not, sir; we ain't got none of our own."

"And you would promise me to be kind to it? I don't mind the
expense; keep it well, and let me know what you spend. And of course
I should consider your trouble."

So that matter was satisfactorily arranged, and Waymark went home.

Julian spent his day at the hospital as usual, finding relief in
fixing his attention upon outward things. It was only when he left
his work in the evening that he became aware how exhausted he was in
mind and body. And the dread which he had hitherto kept off came
back upon him, the dread of seeing his wife's face and hearing her
voice. When he parted with Waymark in the morning, he had thought
that he would be able to come to some resolution during the day as
to his behaviour with regard to her. But no such decision had been
formed, and his overtaxed mind could do no more than dwell with dull
persistency on a long prospect of wretchedness. Fear and hatred
moved him in turns, and the fear was as much of himself as of the
object of his hate.

As he approached the door, a man came out whom he did not know, but
whose business he suspected. He had little doubt that it was a
police officer in plain clothes. He had to stand a moment and rest,
before he could use his latchkey to admit himself. When he entered
the sitting-room, he found the table spread as usual. Harriet was
sitting with sewing upon her lap. She did not look at him.

He sat down, and closed his eyes. There seemed to be a ringing of
great bells about him, overpowering every other sound; all his
muscles had become relaxed and powerless; he half forgot where and
under what circumstances he was, in a kind of deadly drowsiness.
Presently this passed, and he grew aware that Harriet was preparing
tea. When it was ready, he went to the table, and drank two or three
cups, for he was parched with thirst. He could not look at Harriet,
but he understood the mood she was in, and knew she would not be the
first to speak. He rose, walked about for a few minutes, then stood
still before her.

"What proof have you to offer," he said, speaking in a slow but
indistinct tone, "that she is guilty of this, and that it isn't a
plot you have laid against her?"

"You can believe what you like," she replied sullenly. "Of course I
know you'll do your worst against me."

"I wish you to answer my question. If I choose to suspect that you
yourself put this brooch in her pocket--and if other people choose
to suspect the same, knowing your enmity against her, what proof can
you give that she is guilty?"

"It isn't the first thing she's stolen."

"What proof have you that she took those other things?"

"Quite enough, I think. At all events, they've found a pawn-ticket
for the spoon at her lodgings, among a whole lot of other tickets
for things she can't have come by honestly."

Julian became silent, and, as Harriet looked up at him with eyes
full of triumphant spite, he turned pale. He could have crushed the
hateful face beneath his feet.

"You're a good husband, you are," Harriet went on, with a sudden
change to anger; "taking part against your own wife, and trying to
make her out all that's bad. But I think you've had things your own
way long enough. You thought I was a fool, did you, and couldn't see
what was going on? You and your Ida Starr, indeed! Oh, she would be
such a good friend to me, wouldn't she? She would do me so much
good; you thought so highly of her; she was just the very girl to be
my companion; how lucky we found her! I'm much obliged to you, but I
think I might have better friends than thieves and street-walkers."

"What do you mean?" asked Julian, starting at the last word, and
turning a ghastly countenance on her.

"I mean what I say. As if you didn't know, indeed!"

"Explain what you mean," Julian repeated, almost with violence. "Who
has said anything of that kind against her?"

"Who has? Why I can bring half a dozen people who knew her when she
was on the streets, before Waymark kept her. And you knew it, well
enough--no fear!"

"It's a lie, a cursed lie! No one can say a word against her purity.
Only a foul mind could imagine such things."

"Purity! Oh yes, she's very pure--you know that, don't you? No
doubt you'll be a witness, and give evidence for her, and against
me;--let everybody know how perfect she is, and what a beast and a
liar I am! You and your Ida Starr!"

Julian rushed out of the room.

Waymark could not but
observe peculiarities in Mr. Woodstock's behaviour during the
conversation about Ida. At first it had occurred to him--knowing a
good deal of Abraham's mode of life--that there must be some
disagreeable secret at the bottom, and for a moment the
ever-recurring distrust of Ida rose again. But he had soon observed
that the listener was especially interested in the girl's earliest
years, and this pointed to possibilities of a different kind. What
was it that was being taken from the drawer to show him, when the
old man suddenly altered his mind? Mr. Woodstock had perhaps known
Ida's parents. Waymark waited with some curiosity for the interview
on the morrow.

Accordingly, he was surprised when, on presenting himself, Mr.
Woodstock did not at first appear to remember what he had called
about.

"Oh, ay, the girl!" Abraham exclaimed, on being reminded. "What did
you say her name was? Ida something--"

Waymark was puzzled and suspicious, and showed both feelings in his
looks, but Mr. Woodstock preserved a stolid indifference which it
was very difficult to believe feigned.

"I've been busy," said the latter. "Never mind; there's time. She
was remanded for a week, you said? I'll go and see Helter about her.
May as well come along with me, and put the case in 'artistic'
form."

It was a word frequently on Waymark's lips, and he recognised the
unwonted touch of satire with a smile, but was yet more puzzled.
They set out together to the office of the solicitor who did
Abraham's legal business, and held with him a long colloquy. Waymark
stated all he knew or could surmise with perfect frankness. He had
heard from Julian the night before of the discovery which it was
said the police had made at Ida's lodgings, and this had
strengthened his fear that Harriet's accusation was genuine.

"How did this girl lose her place at the laundry?" asked Mr. Helter.

Waymark could not say; for all he knew it was through her own fault.

"And that's all you can tell us, Waymark?" observed Mr. Woodstock,
who had listened with a show of indifference. "Well, I have no more
time at present. Look the thing up, Helter."

On reaching home, Waymark wrote a few lines to Ida, merely to say
that Grim was provided for, and assure her that she was not
forgotten. In a day or two he received a reply. The official
envelope almost startled him at first. Inside was written this:

"You have been kind. I thank you for everything. Try to
think kindly of me, whatever happens; I shall be conscious of it,
and it will give me strength.
I. S."

The week went by, and Ida again appeared in court.
Mr. Woodstock went with Waymark, out of curiosity, he said. The
statement of the case against the prisoner sounded very grave. What
Harriet had said about the discovery of the pawn-ticket for her
silver spoon was true. Ida's face was calm, but paler yet and
thinner. When she caught sight of Harriet Casti, she turned her eyes
away quickly, and with a look of trouble. She desired to ask no
question, simply gave her low and distinct "Not guilty." She was
committed for trial.

Waymark watched Mr. Woodstock, who was examining Ida all the time;
he felt sure that he heard something like a catching of the breath
when the girl's face first became visible.

"And what's your opinion?" asked Waymark.

"I couldn't see the girl very well," said the old man coldly.

"She hasn't quite a fortnight to wait."

"No."

"You're sure Helter will do all that can he done?"

"Yes."

Mr. Woodstock nodded his head, and walked off by himself.

Julian Casti was ill. With difficulty he had dragged himself to the
court, and his sufferings as he sat there were horribly evident on
his white face. Waymark met him just as Mr. Woodstock walked off;
and the two went home together by omnibus, not speaking on the way.

"She will be convicted," was Julian's first utterance, when he had
sat for a few minutes in Waymark's room, whilst Waymark himself
paced up and down. The latter turned, and saw that tears were. on
his friends hollow cheeks.

"Did you sleep better last night?" he asked.

"Good God, no! I never closed my eyes. That's the third night
without rest. Waymark, get me an opiate of some kind, or I shall
kill myself; and let me sleep here."

"What will your wife say?"

"What do I care what she says!" cried Julian, with sudden
excitement, his muscles quivering, and his cheeks flaming all at
once. "Don't use that word 'wife,' it is profanation; I can't bear
it! If I see her to-night, I can't answer for what I may do. Curse
her to all eternity!"

He sank beck in exhaustion.

"Julian," said Waymark, using his friend's first name by exception,
"if this goes on, you will be ill. What the deuce shall we do then?"

"No, I shall not be ill. It will be all right if I can get sleep."

He was silent for a little, then spoke, with his eyes on the ground.

"Waymark, is this true they say about her--about the former time?"

"Yes; it is true."

Waymark in turn was silent.

"I suppose," he continued presently, "I owe you an apology."

"None. It was right of you to act as you did."

He was going to say something else, but checked himself. Waymark
noticed this, watched his face for a moment, and spoke with some
earnestness.

"But it was in that only I misled you. Do you believe me when I
repeat that she and I were never anything but friends!"

Julian looked up with a gleam of gratitude in his eyes.

"Yes, I believe you!"

"And be sure of this," Waymark went on, "whether or not this
accusation is true, it does not in the least affect the nobility of
her character. You and I are sufficiently honest, in the true sense
of the word, to understand this."

Waymark only saw Mr. Woodstock once or twice in the next fortnight,
and very slight mention was made between them of the coming trial.
He himself was not to be involved in the case in any way; as a
witness on Ida's side he could do no good, and probably would
prejudice her yet more in the eyes of the jury. It troubled him a
little to find with what complete calmness he could await the
result; often he said to himself that he must be sadly lacking in
human sympathy. Julian Casti, on the other hand, had passed into a
state of miserable deadness; Waymark in vain tried to excite hope in
him. He came to his friend's every evening, and sat there for hours
in dark reverie.

"What will become of her!" Julian asked once. "In either case--
what will become of her!"

"Woodstock shall help us in that," Waymark replied. "She must get a
place of some kind."

"How dreadfully she is suffering, and how dark life will be before
her!"

And so the day of the trial came. The pawnbroker's evidence was
damaging. The silver spoon had been pledged, he asserted, at the
same time with another article for which Ida possessed the
duplicate. The inscriptions on the duplicates supported him in this,
and he professed to have not the least doubt as to the prisoner's
identity. Pressed in cross-examination, he certainly threw some
suspicion on the trustworthiness of his assertions. "You positively
swear that these two articles were pledged by the prisoner, and at
the same time!" asked the cross-examiner. "Well," was the impatient
reply, "there's the same date and name, and both in my writing." But
even thus much of doubt he speedily retracted, and his evidence
could not be practically undermined.

Harriet's examination was long and searching, but she bore it
without the slightest damage to her credit. Plain, straightforward,
and stubborn were all her replies and assertions; she did not
contradict herself once. Waymark marvelled at her appearance and
manner. The venom of malice had acted upon her as a tonic,
strengthening her intellect, and bracing her nerves. Once she looked
directly into Ida's face and smiled.

Mrs. Sprowl had been summoned, and appeared in all the magnificence
of accumulated rings, bracelets, necklaces, and watch-chains. Helter
hoped to make good use of her.

"Did you on a certain occasion go to the person in whose employ the
prisoner was, and, by means of certain representations with regard
to the prisoner's antecedents, become the cause of her dismissal?"

"I did. I told all I knew about her, and I consider I'd a right to
do so."

Mrs. Sprowl was not to be robbed of her self-assurance by any array
of judicial dignity.

"What led you to do this?"

"A good enough one, I think. She'd been imposed on Mr. Casti and his
wife as a respectable character, and she was causing trouble between
them. She had to be got rid of somehow, and this was one step to
it."

"Was Mrs. Casti aware of your intention to take this step?"

"No, she wasn't."

"But you told her when you had done it?"

"Yes, I did."

The frankness of all this had its effect, of course. The case was
attracting much interest in court, and the public seats were quite
full. Mrs. Sprowl looked round in evident enjoyment of her position.
There was a slight pause, and then the examination continued.

"Of what nature was the trouble you speak of, caused by the prisoner
between this lady and her husband?"

"Mr. Casti began to pay a good deal too much attention to her."

There was a sound of whispers and a murmuring.

"Did Mrs. Casti impart to you her suspicions of the prisoner as soon
as she missed the first of these articles alleged to be stolen?"

"Yes, she did."

"And did you give any advice as to how she should proceed?"

"I told her to be on the look-out."

"No doubt you laid stress on the advantage, from a domestic point of
view, of securing this prisoner's detection?"

"Certainly I did, and I hoped and prayed as she might caught!"

Mrs. Sprowl was very shortly allowed to retire. For the defence
there was but one witness, and that was the laundress who had
employed Ida. Personal fault with Ida she had one at all to find;
the sole cause of her dismissal was the information given by Mrs.
Sprowl. Perhaps she had acted hastily and unkindly, but she had
young girls working in the laundry, and it behoved her to be careful
of them.

Julian's part in the trial had been limited to an examination as to
his knowledge of Ida's alleged thefts. He declared that he knew
nothing save from his wife's statements to him. He had observed
nothing in the least suspicious.

A verdict was returned of "Guilty."

Had the prisoner anything to say? Nothing whatever. There was a
pause, a longer pause than seemed necessary. Then, without remark,
she was sentenced to be imprisoned for six months with hard labour.

Waymark had been drawn to the court in spite of himself.
Strangely quiet hitherto, a fear fell upon him the night be fore the
trial. From an early hour in the morning he walked about the
streets, circling ever nearer to the hateful place. All at once he
found himself facing Mr. Woodstock. The old man's face was darkly
anxious, and he could not change its expression quickly enough.

"Are you going in?" he said sharply.

"Are you?"

"Yes."

"Then I shall not," said Waymark. "I'll go to your place, and wait
there."

But when Abraham, whose eyes had not moved from the prisoner
throughout the proceedings, rose at length to leave, a step or two
brought him to a man who was leaning against the wall, powerless
from conflicting excitement, and deadly pale. It was Waymark. Mr.
Woodstock took him by the arm and led him out.

"Why couldn't you keep away?" the old man exclaimed hoarsely, and
with more of age in his voice than any one had ever yet heard in it.

Waymark shook himself free, and laughed as one laughs under torment.





CHAPTER XXV

ART AND MISERY




One Monday afternoon at the end of October--three months had gone
by since the trial--Waymark carried his rents to St. John Street
Road as usual.

"I'm going to Tottenham," said Mr. Woodstock. "You may as well come
with me."

"By the by, I finished my novel the other day," Waymark said, as
they drove northward.

"That's right. No doubt you're on your way to glory, as the hymn
says."

Abraham was in good spirits. One would have said that he had grown
younger of late. That heaviness and tendency to absent brooding
which not long ago seemed to indicate the tightening grip of age,
was disappearing; he was once more active and loud and full of his
old interests.

"How's Casti?" Mr. Woodstock went on to ask.

"A good deal better, I think, but shaky. Of course things will be as
bad as ever when his wife comes out of the hospital."

"Pity she can't come out heels first," muttered Abraham.

Waymark found that the purpose of their journey was to inspect a
large vacant house, with a good garden and some fine trees about it.
The old man wished for his opinion, and, by degrees, let it be known
that he thought of buying the property.

"I suppose you think me an old fool to want a house like this at my
time of life, eh?"

There was a twinkle in his eye, and a moment after he fairly burst
into a laugh of pleasure. Waymark asked no questions, and received
no more information; but a thought rose in his mind which occupied
him for the rest of the day.

In the evening Julian came. He looked like one who had recovered
from a long illness, very pale and thin, and his voice had
tremblings and uncertainties of key. In fact, a feverish disorder
had been upon him for some weeks, never severe enough to prevent his
getting about, but weakening him to a serious degree. It would
doubtless have developed into some more pronounced illness, but for
the period of comparative rest and quietness which had begun shortly
after the miseries of the trial. Harriet's ailments had all at once
taken such a decided turn for the worse--her fits becoming
incessant, and other disorders traceable to the same source suddenly
taking hold upon her--that Julian had obtained her admission to
the hospital, where she still remained. He went to see her in the
ward two or three times a week, though he dreaded the necessity.
From little incidents which occurred at such times, he was convinced
that all her fellow-patients, as well as the "sister" and nurses of
the wards, had been prejudiced against him by her reports and
accusations. To meet their looks occasioned him the most acute
suffering. Sometimes he sat by the bedside for half an hour without
speaking, then rose and hastened away to hide himself and be alone
with his misery.

He was earnest and eager to-night in his praise of Waymark's book,
which he had just read in manuscript.

"It is horrible," he exclaimed; "often hideous and revolting to me;
but I feel its absolute truth. Such a book will do more good than
half a dozen religious societies."

"If only people can be got to read it. Yet I care nothing for that
aspect of the thing. Is it artistically strong? Is it good as a
picture? There was a time when I might have written in this way with
a declared social object. That is all gone by. I have no longer a
spark of social enthusiasm. Art is all I now care for, and as art I
wish my work to be judged."

"One would have thought," said Julian, "that increased knowledge of
these fearful things would have had just the opposite effect."

"Yes," exclaimed the other, with the smile which always prefaced
some piece of self-dissection, "and so it would in the case of a man
born to be a radical. I often amuse myself with taking to pieces my
former self. I was not a conscious hypocrite in those days of
violent radicalism, working-man's-club lecturing, and the like; the
fault was that I understood myself as yet so imperfectly. That zeal
on behalf of the suffering masses was nothing more nor less than
disguised zeal on behalf of my own starved passions. I was poor and
desperate, life had no pleasures, the future seemed hopeless, yet I
was overflowing with vehement desires, every nerve in me was a
hunger which cried to be appeased. I identified myself with the poor
and ignorant; I did not make their cause my own, but my own cause
theirs. I raved for freedom because I was myself in the bondage of
unsatisfiable longing."

"Well," he went on, after regarding his listener with still the same
smile, "I have come out of all that, in proportion as my artistic
self-consciousness has developed. For one thing, I am not so
miserable as I was then, personally; then again, I have found my
vocation. You know pretty well the phases I have passed through.
Upon ranting radicalism followed a period of philosophical study. My
philosophy, I have come to see, was worth nothing; what philosophy
is worth anything? It had its use for myself, however; it made me by
degrees self-conscious, and brought me to see that in art alone I
could find full satisfaction."

"Yet," urged Julian, "the old direction still shows itself in your
choice of subjects. Granting that this is pure art, it is a kind of
art only possible to an age in which the social question is
predominant."

"True, very likely. Every strong individuality is more or less the
expression of its age. This direction may be imposed upon me; for
all that, I understand why I pursue it."

After reflecting, Julian spoke in another tone. "Imagine yourself in
my position. Could you appreciate the artistic effect of your own
circumstances?"

"Probably not. And it is because I recognise that, that I grow more
and more careful to hold aloof from situations that would threaten
my peace of mind. My artistic egotism bids fair to ally itself with
vulgar selfishness. That tendency I must resist. For the artist
_ought_ to be able to make material of his own sufferings, even
while the suffering is at its height. To what other end does he
suffer? In very deed, he is the only man whose misery finds
justification in apparent result."

"I am not an artist," sighed Julian.

"On the contrary, I firmly believe that you are. And it makes me
angry to see the impulse dying in you."

"What am I to do?" Julian cried, almost with a voice of anguish. "I
am so helpless, so hopelessly fettered! Release is impossible. No
words could express the desperate struggles I go through when I
recognise how my life is being wasted and my powers, whatever they
may be, numbed and crushed. Something I might do, if I were free; I
feel that! But there is no hope of freedom. I shall fall into darker
and darker depths of weakness and ruin, always conscious of what I
am losing. What will be the end?"

"What the end will be, under the present circumstances, is only too
clear to me. But it might easily be averted?"

"How? Give me some practical advice, Waymark! Let us talk of the
matter freely. Tell me what you would do!"

Waymark thought for a moment.

"Does there seem any chance of her health being permanently
improved?" he asked.

"I can't say. She says she is better. It's no use my asking the
doctors; they despise me, and would not think of treating me with
any consideration."

"Why don't you do this?" began Waymark, after another pause. "Use
all means to find some convalescent home where she can be received
when she leaves the hospital. Then, if her fits and the rest of it
still continue, find some permanent place for her. You can afford
it. Never mind if it reduces you for a time to a garret and a
crust."

"She would refuse to go to such places," said Julian despondently.

"Then refuse to take her back! Sell your furniture; take one room
for yourself; and tell her she must live where she likes on a
sufficient allowance from you."

"I dare not. It is impossible. She would never leave me in peace."

"You will have to do this ultimately, if you are to continue to
live. Of that there is no doubt. So why not now?"

"I must think; it is impossible to make up my mind to such a thing
at once. I know you advise what is best; I have thought of it
myself. But I shall never have the courage! I am so miserably weak.
If only I could get my health back! Good God, how I suffer!"

Waymark did his best to familiarise Julian with the thought, and to
foster in him something of resoluteness, but he had small hope of
succeeding. The poor fellow was so incapable of anything which at
all resembled selfishness, and so dreaded the results of any such
severity on his part as that proposed. There were moments when
indignation almost nerved him to independence, but there returned so
soon the souse of pity, and, oftener still, the thought of that
promise made to Harriet's father, long ago, in the dark little
parlour which smelt of drugs. The poor chemist, whose own life was
full of misery, had been everything to him; but for Mr. Smales, he
might now have been an ignorant, coarse-handed working man, if not
worse. Was Harriet past all rescue? Was there not even yet a chance
of saving her from herself and those hateful friends of hers?

This was the natural reaction after listening to Waymark's
remorseless counsel. Going home, Julian fought once more the battle
with himself, till the usual troubled sleep severed his thoughts
into fragments of horrible dreams. The next day he felt differently;
Waymark's advice seemed more practical. In the afternoon he should
have visited Harriet in the ward, but an insuperable repulsion kept
him away, and for the first time. It was a bleak, cheerless day; the
air was cold with the breath of the nearing winter; At night he
found it impossible to sit in his own room, and dreaded to talk with
any one. His thoughts were fixed upon one place; a great longing
drew him forth, into the darkness and the rain of the streets,
onwards in a fixed direction. It brought him to Westminster, and to
the gate of Tothill Fields Prison. The fetters upon the great doors
were hideous in the light of the lamps above them; the mean houses
around the gaol seemed to be rotting in its accursed shadow. A
deadly stillness possessed the air; there was blight in the dropping
of the rain.

He leaned against the great, gloomy wall, and thought of Ida. At
this hour she was most likely asleep, unless sorrow kept her waking.
What unimagined horrors did she suffer day after day in that
accursed prison-house? How did she bear her torments? Was she well
or ill? What brutality might she not be subjected to? He pictured
her face wasted with secret tears, those eyes which were the light
of his soul fixed on the walls of the cell, hour after hour, in
changeless despair, the fire of passionate resentment feeding at her
life's core.

The night became calmer. The rained ceased, and a sudden gleam made
him look up, to behold the moon breaking her way through billows of
darkness.





CHAPTER XXVI

STRAYING




The Enderbys were at Brighton during the autumn. Mr. Enderby only
remained with them two or three days at a time, business requiring
his frequent presence in town. Maud would have been glad to spend
her holidays at some far quieter place, but her mother enjoyed
Brighton, and threw herself into its amusements of the place with
spirits which seemed to grow younger. They occupied handsome rooms,
and altogether lived in a more expensive way than when at home.

Maud was glad to see her mother happy, but could not be at ease
herself in this kind of life. It was soon arranged that she should
live in her own way, withholding from the social riot which she
dreaded, and seeking rest in out-of-the-way parts of the shore,
where more of nature was to be found and less of fashion. Maud
feared lest her mother should feel this as an unkind desertion, but
Mrs. Enderby was far from any such trouble; it relieved her from the
occasional disadvantage of having by her side a grown-up daughter,
whose beauty so strongly contrasted with her own. So Maud spent her
days very frequently in exploring the Downs, or in seeking out
retired nooks beneath the cliffs, where there was no sound in her
ears but that of the waves. She would sit for hours with no
companion save her thoughts, which were unconsciously led from phase
to phase by the moving lights and shadows upon the sea, and the soft
beauty of unstable clouds.

Even before leaving London, she had begun to experience a frequent
sadness of mood, tending at times to weariness and depression, which
foreshadowed new changes in her inner life. The fresh delight in
nature and art had worn off in some degree; she read less, and her
thoughts took the habit of musing upon the people and circumstances
about her, also upon the secrets of the years to come. She grew more
conscious of the mystery in her own earlier life, and in the
conditions which now surrounded her. A sense which at times besets
all imaginative minds came upon her now and then with painful force;
a fantastic unreality would suddenly possess all she saw and heard;
it seemed as if she had been of a sudden transported out of the old
existence into this new and unrealised position; if any person spoke
to her, it was difficult to feel that she was really addressed and
must reply; was it not all a mere vision she was beholding, out of
which she would presently awake! Such moments were followed by dark
melancholy. This life she was leading could not last, but would pass
away in some fearful shock of soul. Once she half believed herself
endowed with the curse of a hideous second-sight. Sitting with her
father and mother, silence all at once fell upon the room, and
everything was transfigured in a ghostly light. Distinctly she saw
her mother throw her head back and raise to her throat what seemed
to be a sharp, glistening piece of steel; then came a cry, and all
was darkened before her eyes in a rush of crimson mist. The cry she
had herself uttered, much to her parents' alarm; what her mother
held was in reality only a paper-knife, with which she had been
tapping her lips in thought. A slight attack of illness followed on
this disturbance, and it was some days before she recovered from the
shock; she kept to herself, however, the horrible picture which her
imagination had conjured up.

She began to pay more frequent visits to her aunt Theresa, whom at
first she had seen very seldom. There was not the old confidence
between them. Maud shrank from any direct reference to the change in
herself, and Miss Bygrave spoke no word which could suggest a
comparison between past and present. Maud tried once more to draw
near to the pale, austere woman, whose life ever remained the same.
She was not repelled, but neither did any movement respond to her
yearning. She always came away with a sad heart.

One evening in the week she looked forward to with eagerness; it was
that on which Waymark was generally expected. In Waymark's presence
she could forget those dark spirits that hovered about her; she
could forget herself, and be at rest in the contemplation of
strength and confidence. There was a ring in his voice which
inspired faith; whatever might be his own doubts and difficulties--
and his face testified to his knowledge of both--it was so certain
that he had power to overcome them. This characteristic grew
stronger in him to her observation; he was a far other man now than
when she first knew him; the darkness had passed from his eyes,
which seemed always to look straight forward, and with perception of
an end he was nearing. Why could she not make opportunities of
speaking freely with him, alone with him? They were less near to
each other, it seemed, after a year of constant meeting, than in the
times when, personally all but strangers, they had corresponded so
frankly and unconventionally. Of course he came to the house for her
sake; it could not but be so; yet at times he seemed to pay so
little attention to her. Her mother often monopolised him through a
whole evening, and not apparently to his annoyance. And all the time
he had in his heart the message for which she longed; support and
comfort were waiting for her there, she felt sure, could he but
speak unrestrainedly. In herself was no salvation; but he had
already overcome, and why could she not ask him for the secret of
his confidence? Often, as the evening drew to an end, and he was
preparing to leave, an impatience scarcely to be repressed took hold
upon her; her face grew hot, her hands trembled, she would have
followed him from the room and begged for one word to herself had it
been possible. And when he was gone, there came the weakest moments
her life had yet known; a childish petulance, a tearful fretting, an
irritable misery of which she was ashamed. She went to her room to
suffer in silence, and often to read through that packet of his
letters, till the night was far spent.

It had cost her much to leave London. She feared lest, during her
absence, something should occur to break off the wonted course of
things, and that Waymark might not resume his visits on their
return. After the feverish interval of those first weeks, she tried
sometimes to distract her thoughts by reading, and got from a
library a book which Waymark had recommended to her at their last
meeting--Rossetti's poems. These gave her much help in restoring
her mind to quietness. Their perfect beauty entranced her, and the
rapturous purity of ideal passion, the mystic delicacies of emotion,
which made every verse gleam like a star, held her for the time high
above that gloomy cloudland of her being, rife with weird shapes and
muffled voices. That Beauty is solace of life, and Love the end of
being,--this faith she would cling to in spite of all; she grasped
it with the desperate force of one who dreaded lest it should fade
and fail from her. Beauty alone would not suffice; too often it was
perceived as a mere mask, veiling horrors; but in the passion and
the worship of love was surely a never-failing fountain of growth
and power; this the draught that would leave no bitter aftertaste,
its enjoyment the final and all-sufficient answer to the riddle of
life. Rossetti put into utterance for her so much that she had not
dared to entrust even to the voice of thought. Her spirit and flesh
became one and indivisible; the old antagonism seemed at an end for
ever.

Such dreamings as these naturally heightened Maud's dislike for the
kind of life her mother led, and she longed unspeakably for the time
of her return to London. They had been at Brighton already nearly a
month, when a new circumstance was added to her discomfort. As she
walked with her mother one day, they met their acquaintance, Mr.
Budge. This gentleman dined with them that evening at Mrs. Enderby's
invitation, and persuaded the latter to join a party he had made up
for an excursion on the following day. Maud excused herself. She did
not like Mr. Budge, and his demeanour during the evening only
strengthened her prejudice. He was unduly excited and fervent, and
allowed himself a certain freedom in his conversation with Mrs.
Enderby which Maud resented strongly.

When they were once more in London, Maud did not win back the former
quiet of mind. Waymark came again as usual, but if anything the
distance between him and herself seemed more hopeless. He appeared
preoccupied; his talk, when he spoke with her, was of a more general
kind than formerly; she was conscious that her presence did not
affect him as it had done. She sank again into despondency; books
were insipid, and society irritated her. She began the habit of
taking long walks, an aimless wandering about the streets and parks
within her reach. One evening, wending wearily homewards, she was
attracted by the lights in a church in Marylebone Road, and, partly
for a few minutes' rest, partly out of a sudden attraction to a
religious service, she entered. It was the church of Our Lady of the
Rosary. She had not noticed that it was a Roman Catholic place of
worship, but the discovery gave her an unexpected pleasure. She was
soothed and filled with a sense of repose. Sinking into the attitude
of prayer, she let her thoughts carry her whither they would; they
showed her nothing but images of beauty and peace. It was with
reluctance that she arose and went back into the dark street, where
the world met her with a chill blast, sleet-laden.

Our Lady of the Rosary received her frequently after this. But there
were days when the thought of repose was far from her. At one such
time, on an evening in November, a sudden desire possessed her mind;
she would go out into the streets of the town and see something of
that life which she knew only in imagination, the traffic of highway
and byway after dark, the masque of pleasure and misery of sin of
which a young girl can know nothing, save from hints here and there
in her reading, or from the occasional whispers and head-shakings of
society's gossip. Her freedom was complete; her absence, if noticed,
would entail no questions; her mother doubtless would conclude that
she was at her aunt Theresa's. So she clad herself in walking attire
of a kind not likely to attract observation, and set forth. The
tumult which had been in her blood all day received fresh impulse
from the excitement of the adventure. She had veiled her face, but
the veil hindered her observation, and she threw it back. First into
Edgware Road, then down Oxford Street. Her thoughts pointed to an
eastern district, though she feared the distance would be too great;
she had frequently talked with Waymark of his work in Litany Lane
and Elm Court, and a great curiosity possessed her to see these
places. She entered an omnibus, and so reached the remote
neighbourhood. Here, by inquiry of likely people, she found her way
to Litany Lane, and would have penetrated its darkness, but was
arrested by a sudden event characteristic of the locality.

Forth from the alley, just before her, rushed a woman of hideous
aspect, pursued by another, younger, but, if possible, yet more
foul, who shrieked curses and threats. In the way of the fugitive
was a costermonger's stall; unable to check herself, the woman
rushed against this, overturning it, and herself falling among the
ruin. The one in pursuit, with a yell of triumph, sprang upon her
prostrate enemy, and attacked her with fearful violence, leaping on
her body, dashing her head against the pavement, seemingly bent on
murder. In a moment there was a thick crowd rushing round, amid
which Maud was crushed and swayed without possibility of disengaging
herself. The screams of the one woman, and the terrific objurgations
of the other, echoed through the street. From the words of those
about her, Maud understood that the two women were mother and
daughter, and that it was no rare occurrence for the younger woman
to fall just short of killing her parent. But only for a moment or
two could Maud understand anything; horror and physical oppression
overcame her senses. Her fainting caused a diversion in the crowd,
and she was dragged without much delay to the nearest doorstep.

She was not long unconscious, and presently so far recovered as to
know that she was being helped to enter a cab. The cab began to
drive off. Then she saw that some one was sitting opposite her. "Who
is it?" she asked, trying to command herself, and to see clearly by
the light of the street lamps. At the sound of the voice which
answered, she started, and, looking again, at length recognised
Waymark.

"Do you feel better?" he asked. "Are you able to go on homewards?"

"Quite able," she answered, leaning back again, and speaking with
strange calmness.

"What on earth is the meaning of this?" was Waymark's next inquiry.
"How came you here at this time?"

"Curiosity brought me," Maud answered, with the same unnatural
composure.

"Had you been there long?"

"No; I had asked my way to Litany Lane, and all at once found myself
in the crowd."

"Thank goodness I happened to be by! I had just been looking up a
defaulting tenant. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw you lying
in that doorway. Why didn't you ask me to come with you, and show
you these places?"

"It would have been better," she said, with her eyes closed. Waymark
leaned back. Conversation was difficult in the noise of the vehicle,
and for a long time neither spoke.

"I told the man to drive to Edgware Road," Waymark said then. "Shall
he go on to the house?"

"No; I had rather walk the last part."

They talked brokenly of the Lane and its inhabitants. When at length
Maud alighted Waymark offered his arm, and she just laid her hand
upon it.

"I have seen dreadful things to-night," she said, in a voice that
still trembled; "seen and heard things that will haunt me."

"You give too much weight to the impressions of the moment. That
world is farther removed from yours than the farthest star; you must
forget this glimpse of it."

"Oh, I fear you do not know me; I do not know myself."

He made no reply, and, on their coming near to the house, Maud
paused.

"Mother's sending you a note this evening," she said, as she held
out her hand, "to ask you to come on Thursday instead of to-morrow.
She will be from home to-morrow night"

"Shall you also be from home?"

"I? No."

"Then may I not come and see you?--Not if it would be
troublesome."

"It would not, at all."

"It is good of you. I will come."





CHAPTER XXVII

THE WILL TO LIVE




Waymark made his way to Paddington at the usual time on the
following evening, and found Maud alone. There was agitation in her
manner as she welcomed him, and she resumed her seat as if the
attitude of rest was needful to her. In reply to his inquiries about
her health, she assured him she was well, and that she felt no
painful results from the previous evening. Waymark also showed an
unusual embarrassment. He stood for some moments by the table,
turning over the leaves of a book.

"I didn't know you had Rossetti," he said, without looking up. "You
never mentioned him."

"I seem to have had no opportunity."

"No. I too have many things that I have wanted to speak to you
about, but opportunity was wanting. I have sometimes been on the
point of asking you to let me write to you again."

He glanced inquiringly at her. Her eyes fell, and she tried to
speak, but failed. Waymark went to a seat at a little distance from
her.

"You do not look as well as when I met you in the summer," he said.
"I have feared you might be studying too hard. I hope you threw away
your books whilst you were at the sea-side."

"I did, but it was because I found little pleasure in them. It was
not rest that took the place of reading."

"Are your difficulties of a kind you could speak of to me?" he
asked, with some hesitation.

She kept her eyes lowered, and her fingers writhed nervously on the
arm of the chair.

"My only fear would be lest you should think my troubles unreal.
Indeed it is so hard to make them appear anything more than morbid
fancies. They are traceable, no doubt, to my earliest years. To
explain them fully, I should have to tell you circumstances of my
life which could have little interest for you."

"Tell me--do," Waymark replied earnestly.

"Will you let me?" she said, with a timid pleasure in her voice. "I
believe you could understand me. I have a feeling that you must have
experienced something of these troubles yourself, and have overcome
them. Perhaps you could help me to understand myself."

"If I thought I could, it would give me great happiness."

She was silent a little, then, with diffidence which lessened as she
went on, she related the history, as far as she knew it, of her
childhood, and described the growth of her mind up to the time when
she had left home to begin life as a governess. It was all very
simply, but very vividly, told; that natural command of impressive
language which had so struck Waymark in her letters displayed itself
as soon as she had gained confidence. Glimpses of her experience
Waymark had already had, but now for the first time he understood
the full significance of her early years. Whilst she spoke, he did
not move his eyes from her face. He was putting himself in her
position, and imagining himself to be telling his own story in the
same way. His relation, he knew, would have been a piece of more or
less clever acting, howsoever true; he would have been considering,
all the time, the effect of what he said, and, indeed, could not, on
this account, have allowed himself to be quite truthful. How far was
this the case with Maud Enderby? Could he have surprised the
faintest touch of insincerity in look or accent, it would have made
a world's difference in his position towards _her_. His instinct was
unfailing in the detection of the note of affected feeling; so much
the stronger the impression produced upon him by a soul unveiling
itself in the _naivete_ of genuine emotion. That all was
sincere he could have no doubt. Gradually he lost his critical
attitude, and at moments surprised himself under the influence of a
sympathetic instinct. Then he would lose consciousness of her words
for an interval, during which he pondered her face, and was wrought
upon by its strange beauty. The pure and touching spirituality of
Maud's countenance had never been so present to him as now; she was
pale with very earnestness, her eyes seemed larger than their wont,
there was more than womanly sweetness in the voice which so
unconsciously modulated itself to the perfect expression of all she
uttered. Towards the end, he could but yield himself completely to
the spell, and, when she ceased, he, like Adam at the end of the
angel's speech, did not at once perceive that her voice was silent.

"It was long," she said, after telling the outward circumstances of
her life with her aunt, "before I came to understand how differently
I had been brought up from other children. Partly I began to see it
at the school where we first met; but it only grew quite clear to me
when I shared in the home life of my pupils in the country. I found
I had an entirely different view of the world from what was usual.
That which was my evil, I discovered to be often others' good; and
my good, their abhorrence. My aunt's system was held to be utterly
unchristian. Little things which I sometimes said, in perfect
innocence, excited grave disapproval. All this frightened me, and
made me even more reserved than I should have been naturally.

"In my letters to you I began to venture for the first time to speak
of things which were making my life restless. I did little more than
hint my opinions; I wonder, in looking back, that I had the courage
to do even that. But I already knew that your mind was broader and
richer than mine, and I suppose I caught with a certain desperation
at the chance of being understood. It was the first opportunity I
had ever had of discussing intellectual things. With my aunt I had
never ventured to discuss anything; I reverenced her too much for
that; she spoke, and I received all she said. I thought that from
you I should obtain confirmation where I needed it, but your
influence was of the opposite kind. Your letters so abounded with
suggestion that was quite new to me, referred so familiarly to
beliefs and interests of which I was quite ignorant, showed such a
boldness in judging all things, that I drifted further and further
from certainty. The result of it all was that I fell ill.

"You see now what it is that has burdened me from the day when I
first began to ask myself about my beliefs. I was taught to believe
that the world was sin, and that the soul only freed itself from sin
in proportion as it learned to live apart from and independently of
the world. Everything was dark because of sin; only in the still,
secret places of the soul was the light of purity and salvation.

"I thought I had passed out of this. When I returned to London, and
began this new life, the burden seemed all at once lifted from me. I
could look here and there with freedom; the sky was bright above me;
human existence was cheerful and noble and justified in itself. I
began to learn a thousand things. Above all, my mind fixed on Art;
in that I thought I had found a support that would never fail me.

"Oh, why could it not last? The clouds began to darken over me
again. I heard voices once which I had hoped were for ever silenced.
That sense of sin and horror came upon me last night in the streets.
I suffered dreadfully."

She was silent, and, meeting Waymark's eyes so fixed on her own,
became conscious of the eagerness and fervour with which she had
spoken.

"Have you any experience of such things?" she asked nervously. "Did
you ever suffer in the same way?"

"It is all very strange," he said, without answering her question.
"This overpowering consciousness of sin is an anachronism in our
time. But, from the way in which you express yourself, I should have
thought you had been studying Schopenhauer. I suppose you know
nothing of him?"

"Nothing."

"Some of your phrases were precisely his. Your doctrine is simply
Pessimism, with an element of dogmatic faith added. With
Schopenhauer, the will to live is the root of sin; mortify this,
deny the first instincts of your being, and you approach
righteousness. Buddhism has the same system. And, in deducing all
this from the plain teachings of Christianity, I am disposed to
think you are right and consistent. Christianity _is_ pessimism, so
far as this world is concerned; we see that in such things as the
thanksgiving for a' person's death in the burial service, and the
prayer that the end of the world may soon come."

He paused, and thought for a moment.

"But all this," he resumed, rising from his seat, and going to stand
with one arm upon the mantelpiece, "is of course, with me, mere
matter of speculation. There are two allegories, which define
Pessimism and Optimism. First that of Adam and Christ. Adam falls
through eating of the tree of knowledge; in other words, sin only
comes with self-consciousness, sin _is_ the conscious enjoyment of
life. And, according to this creed, it can only be overcome by
abnegation, by the denial of the will to live. Accordingly, Christ
enters the world, and, representing Humanity, as Adam had done,
saves the world by denial, of Himself, even to death. The other
allegory is that of Prometheus. He also represents mankind, and his
stealing of the fire means man's acquirement of a conscious soul,
whereby he makes himself capable of sin. The gods put him in bondage
and torment, representing the subjection to the flesh. But
Prometheus is saved in a different way from Adam; not by
renunciation, but by the prowess of Hercules, that is to say, the
triumphant aspiration of Humanity. Man triumphs by asserting his
right to do so. Self-consciousness he claims as a good thing, and
embraces the world as his birthright. Here, you see, there is no
room for the crushing sense of sin. Sin, if anything, is weakness.
Let us rejoice in our strength, whilst we have it. The end of course
will come, but it is a wise man's part not to heed the inevitable.
Let us live whilst it is called to-day; we shall go to sleep with
all the better conscience for having used the hours of daylight."

Maud listened with head bent.

"My own temperament," Waymark went on, "is, I suppose, exceptional,
at all events among men who have an inner life. I never knew what
goes by the name of religious feeling; impulses of devotion, in the
common sense of the phrase, have always been strange to me. I have
known fear at the prospect of death; religious consolation, never.
Sin, above all, has been a word without significance to me. As a
boy, it was so; it is so still, now that I am self-conscious. I have
never been a deep student of philosophy, but the doctrine of
philosophical necessity, the idea of Fate, is with me an instinct. I
know that I could not have acted otherwise than I did in any
juncture of my life; I know that the future is beyond my control. I
shall do this, and avoid that, simply owing to a preponderance of
motives, which I can gauge, but not control. Certain things I hate
and shrink from; but I try to avoid, even in thought, such words as
vice and crime; the murderer could not help himself, and the saint
has no merit in his sanctity. Does all this seem horrible to you?"

Maud raised her eyes, and looked steadily at him, but did not speak.
It was the gaze of one who tries humbly to understand, and longs to
sympathise. But there was a shadow of something like fear upon her
face.

Waymark spoke with more earnestness.

"You will not think me incapable of what we call noble thought and
feeling? I have in me the elements of an enthusiast; they might have
led me to strange developments, but for that cold, critical spirit
which makes me so intensely self-conscious. This restless scepticism
has often been to me a torment in something the same way as that
burden of which you speak. Often, often, I would so gladly surrender
myself to my instincts of passion and delight. I may change; I may
perhaps some day attain rest in an absolute ideal. If I do, it will
be through the help of one who shall become to me that ideal
personified, who shall embody all the purer elements of my nature,
and speak to me as with the voice of my own soul."

She hung upon his words, and an involuntary sigh, born of the
intensity of the moment, trembled on her lips.

"I have spoken to you," he said, after what seemed a long silence,
"with a sincerity which was the due return for your own. I could
have shown myself in a more pleasing light. You see how little able
I am to help you; the centre-thought of your being is wholly strange
to me. And for all that--may I speak my thought?--we are nearer
to each other than before."

"Yes, nearer," she repeated, under her breath.

"You think that? You feel that? I have not repelled you?"

"You have not"

"And if I stood before you, now, as you know me--egotistic,
sceptical, calm--and told you that you are the only being in whom
I have ever felt complete confidence, whose word and thought I felt
to be one; that you exercise more power over me than any other ever
did or shall; that life in your companionship might gain the unity I
long for; that in your presence I feel myself face to face with a
higher and nobler nature than my own, one capable of sustaining me
in effort and leading me to great results--"

He became silent, for her face had turned deadly pale. But this
passed, and in her eyes, as they met his, trouble grew to a calm
joy. Without speaking, she held her hand to him.

"You are not afraid," Waymark said, "to link your fate with mine? My
life is made up of uncertainties. I have no position; it may be a
long time before I can see even the promise of success in my work. I
have chosen that work, however, and by it I stand or fall. Have you
sufficient faith in me to wait with confidence?"

"I have absolute faith in you. I ask no greater happiness than to
have a share in your aims. It will give me the strength I need, and
make my life full of hope."

It had come then, and just as he had foreseen it would. It was no
result of deliberate decision, he had given up the effort to
discover his true path, knowing sufficiently that neither reason nor
true preponderance of inclination was likely to turn the balance.
The gathering emotion of the hour had united with opportunity to
decide his future. The decision was a relief; as he walked
homewards, he was lighthearted.

On the way, he thought over everything once more, reviewing former
doubts from his present position. On the whole, he felt that fate
had worked for his happiness.

And yet there was discontent. He had never known, felt that perhaps
he might never know, that sustained energy of imaginative and
sensual longing which ideal passion demands. The respectable
make-believe which takes the form of domestic sentiment, that
everyday love, which, become the servant of habit, suffices to
cement the ordinary household, is not the state in which such men as
Waymark seek or find repose; the very possibility of falling into it
unawares is a dread to them. If he could but feel at all times as he
had felt at moments in Maud's presence. It might be that the growth
of intimacy, of mutual knowledge, would make his love for her a more
real motive in his life. He would endeavour that it should be so.
Yet there remained that fatal conviction of the unreality of every
self-persuasion save in relation to the influences of the moment. To
love was easy, inevitable; to concentrate love finally on one object
might well prove, in his case, an impossibility. Clear enough to him
already was the likelihood of a strong revulsion of feeling when Ida
once more came back, and the old life--if it could be--was
resumed. Compassion would speak so loudly for her; her face, pale
and illuminated with sorrow, would throw a stronger spell than ever
upon his senses. Well, there was no help. Whatever would be, would
be. It availed nothing to foresee and scheme and resolve.

And, in the same hour, Maud was upon her knees, in the silence of
her own chamber, shedding tears which were at once both sweet and
bitter, in her heart a tumult of emotion, joy and thanksgiving at
strife with those dark powers which shadowed her existence. _She_
had do doubts of the completeness and persistency of her love. But
was not this love a sin, and its very strength the testimony of her
soul's loss?





CHAPTER XXVIII

SLIMY'S DAY




Waymark had written to Ida just after her imprisonment began, a few
words of such comfort as he could send. No answer came; perhaps the
prison rules prevented it. When the term was drawing to a close, he
wrote again, to let her know that he would meet her on the morning
of her release.

It would be on a Tuesday morning. As the time drew near, Waymark did
his best to think of the matter quietly. The girl had no one else to
help her; it would have been brutality to withdraw and leave her to
her fate, merely because he just a little feared the effect upon
himself of such a meeting. And the feeling on her side? Well, that
he could not pretend to be ignorant of, and, in spite of everything,
there was still the same half-acknowledged pleasure in the thought.
He tried to persuade himself that he should have the moral courage
to let her as soon as possible understand his new position; he also
tried to believe that this would not involve any serious shock to
Ida. For all that, he knew only too well that man is "_ein
erbarmlicher Schuft_," and there was always the possibility
that he might say nothing of what had happened, and let things take
their course.

On the Monday he was already looking forward to the meeting with
restlessness. Could he have foreseen that anything would occur to
prevent his keeping his promise, it would have caused him extreme
anxiety. But such a possibility never entered his thoughts, and,
shortly before mid-day, he went down to collect his rents as usual.

The effect of a hard winter was seen in the decrease of the
collector's weekly receipts. The misery of cold and starvation was
growing familiar to Waymark's eyes, and scarcely excited the same
feelings as formerly; yet there were some cases in which he had not
the heart to press for the payment of rent, and his representations
to Mr. Woodstock on behalf of the poor creatures were more
frequently successful than in former times. Still, in the absence of
then but eviction, and Waymark more than once knew what ideal
philanthropy, there was nothing for it every now and it was to be
cursed to his face by suffering wretches whom despair made incapable
of discrimination. "Where are we to go?" was the oft-repeated
question, and the only reply was a shrug of the shoulders;
impossible to express oneself otherwise. They clung desperately to
habitations so vile that brutes would have forsaken them for cleaner
and warmer retreats in archway and by roadside. One family of seven,
a man and wife (both ill) with five children, could not be got out,
even when a man had been sent by Mr. Woodstock to remove the
window-frames and take the door away, furniture having already been
seized; only by force at length were they thrown into the street, to
find their way to perdition as best they might. Waymark did not
relish all this; it cost him a dark hour now and then. But it was
rich material; every item was stored up for future use.

Among others, the man named Slimy just managed to hold his footing.
Times were hard with Slimy, that was clear; still, he somehow
contrived to keep no more than a fortnight behind with his rent.
Waymark was studying this creature, and found in him the strangest
matter for observation; in Slimy there were depths beyond Caliban,
and, at the same time, curious points of contact with average
humanity, unexpectedly occurring. He was not ungrateful for the
collector's frequent forbearance, and, when able to speak
coherently, tried at times to show this. Waymark had got into the
habit of sitting with him in his room for a little time, whenever he
found him at home. Of late, Slimy had seemed not quite in his usual
health; this exhibited itself much as it would in some repulsive
animal, which suffers in captivity, and tries to find a remote
corner when pains come on. At times Waymark experienced a certain
fear in the man's presence; if ever he met the dull glare of that
one bleared blood-shot eye, a chill ran through him for a moment,
and he drew back a little. Personal uncleanliness made Slimy's
proximity at all times unpleasant; and occasionally his gaunt,
grimed face grew to an expression suggestive of disagreeable
possibilities.

On the present day, Waymark was told by a woman who lived on the
ground-floor that Slimy had gone out, but had left word with her, in
case the collector called, that he should be back in less than
half-an-hour. Doubtless this meant that the rent was not
forthcoming. The people who lived on the first floor were out as
usual, but had left their rent. Of the two rooms at the top, one was
just now vacant. Waymark went on to the two or three houses that
remained. On turning back, he met Slimy at the door; the man nodded
in his wonted way, grinning like a grisly phantom, and beckoned
Waymark to follow him upstairs. The woman below had closed her door
again, and in all probability no one observed the two entering
together.

Waymark sat down amid the collection of nondescript articles which
always filled the room, and waited for the tenant to produce his
rent. Slimy seemed to have other things in mind. After closing the
door, he too had taken a seat, upon a heap of filthy sacking, and
was running his fingers through the shock of black hair which made
his beard. Waymark examined him. There was no sign of intoxication,
but something was evidently working in the man's mind, and his
breath came quickly, with a kind of asthmatic pant, from between his
thin lips, still parted in the uncanny grin.

"Mr. Waymark," he began at length.

"Well?"

"I ain't got no rent."

"That's bad. You're two weeks behind, you know."

"Mr. Waymark."

The single eye fixed itself on Waymark's face in a way which made
the latter feel uncomfortable.

"Well?"

"I ain't a-gem' to pay you no more rent, nor yet no one else,
maybe."

"How's that?"

"'Cos I ain't, and 'cos I'm tired o' payin' rent."

"I'm afraid you'll find it difficult to get on without, though,"
said Waymark, trying to get into the jocular tone he sometimes
adopted with Slimy, but scarcely succeeding.

"Mr. Waymark."

There was clearly something wrong. Waymark rose to his feet. Slimy
rose also, and at the same time took up a heavy piece of wood,
looking like a piece of a cart-shaft, which had lain on the floor
beside him. His exclamation elicited no answer, and he spoke again,
hoarsely as always, but with a calmness which contrasted strangely
with the words he uttered.

"Do you believe in the devil and hell?"

"Why?" returned Waymark, trying hard to command himself, and to face
down the man as a wild beast has been known to be out-gazed.

"'Cos, by the devil himself, as 'll have me before many weeks is
over, and by the fires of hell, as 'll burn me, if you stir a step,
or speak a word above your breath, I'll bring you down just like
they do the bullocks. Y' understand!"

Waymark saw that the threat was no idle one. He could scarcely have
spoken, had he wished. Slimy grinned at the effect he had produced,
and continued in the same matter-of-fact way.

"It takes you back a bit, don't it! Never mind; you'll get over it.
I don't mean you no 'arm, Mr. Waymark, but I'll have to put you to a
little ill-convenience, that's all. See now; here's a bit o' stout
rope. With this 'ere, I'm a-goin' jist to tie you up, 'and an' foot,
you see. As I said before, if you give me any trouble, well, I'll
'ave to knock the senses out o' you fust, that's all."

Vain to think of grappling with the man, whose strength Waymark knew
to be extraordinary. For a moment, the shock of alarm had deprived
him of thought and power of movement; but this passed, and he was
able to consider his position. He looked keenly into Slimy's face.
Had the man gone mad! His manner was scarcely consistent with that
supposition. As the alternative before him was of such a kind,
Waymark could but choose the lesser evil. He allowed Slimy to remove
from his shoulders the satchel which contained the sums of money he
had just collected. It was quietly put aside.

"Now," said Slimy, with the same deliberation, "I have to arst you
just to lay down on the floor, just 'ere, see. It's better to lay
down quiet than to be knocked down, you see."

Waymark mentally agreed that it was. His behaviour might seem
cowardly, but--to say nothing of the loathsomeness of a wrestle
with Slimy--he knew very well that any struggle, or a shout for
help, would mean his death. He hesitated, felt ashamed, but looked
at Slimy's red eye, and lay down. In taking the position indicated,
he noticed that three very large iron hooks had been driven firmly
into the floor, in a triangular shape. Just beside the lower one of
these his feet had to rest; his head lay between the other two.
Slimy now proceeded to bind his captive's feet together with strong
cord, and then attach them firmly to the hook; then bidding him sit
up for a moment, he made his hands fast behind his back; lastly,
Waymark being again recumbent, a rope was passed once round his
neck, and each end of it firmly fastened to one of the remaining
hooks. This was not a pleasant moment, but, the operation completed,
Waymark found that, though he could not move his head an inch, there
was no danger of strangulation as long as he remained quiet. In
short, he was bound as effectually as a man could be, yet without
much pain. The only question was, how long he would have to remain
thus.

Slimy examined his work, and nodded with satisfaction. Then he took
up the satchel again, opened it, and for a few moments kept diving
his long black fingers into the coins, whilst his face was
transformed to an expression of grim joy. Presently, having
satisfied himself with the feel of the money, he transferred it all
to a pocket inside his ragged coat.

"Now, Mr. Waymark," he recommenced, seating himself on the chair
Waymark had previously occupied, "I ain't quite done with
ill-conveniencin' you. I'm sorry to say I'll 'ave jist to put a bit
of a gag on, to prevent you from 'ollerin' out too soon; but before
I do that, I've jist got a word or two to say. Let's spend our last
time together in a friendly way."

In spite of his alarm, Waymark observed with astonishment the change
which had come over the man's mode of speech. In all their previous
intercourse, Slimy had shown himself barely articulate; for the most
part it was difficult to collect meaning from his grunts and snarls.
His voice was still dreadfully husky, and indeed seemed unused to
the task of uttering so many words, but for all that he spoke
without hesitation, and with a reserve of force which made his
utterances all the more impressive. Having bespoken his hearer's
attention in this deliberate way, he became silent, and for a while
sat brooding, his fingers still busy among the coins in his pocket.

"I don't rightly know how old I may be," he began at length, "but
it's most like about fifty; we'll say fifty. For fifty years I've
lived in this world, and in all that time I can't remember not one
single 'appy day, not one. I never knowed neither father nor mother;
I never knowed not a soul as belonged to me. Friends I '_ave_ had;
four of 'em; and their names was Brandy, Whisky, Rum, an' Gin. But
they've cost me a good deal, an' somehow they ain't quite what they
used to be. They used to make me merry for a while, now and then;
but they've taken now to burnin' up my inside, an' filling my 'ead
with devils; an' I'm gettin' afeard of 'em, an' they'll 'ave to see
me through to the end.

"Fifty year," he resumed, after another interval of brooding, "an'
not one 'appy day. I was a-thinkin' of it over to myself, and, says
I, 'What's the reason on it?' The reason is, 'cos I ain't never 'ad
money. Money means 'appiness, an' them as never 'as money, 'll never
be 'appy, live as long as they may. Well, I went on a-sayin' to
myself, 'Ain't I to 'ave not _one_ 'appy day in all my life?' An' it
come to me all at once, with a flash like, that money was to be 'ad
for the trouble o' takin' it--money an' 'appiness."

The bleared eye rolled with a sort of self-congratulation, and the
coins jingled more loudly.

"A pound ain't no use; nor yet two pound; nor yet five pound. An'
five pound's what I never 'ad in fifty year. There's a good deal
more than five pound 'ere now, Mr. Waymark; I've reckoned it up in
my 'cad. What d' you think I'm a-goin' for to do with it?"

He asked this question after a pause, with his head bent forward,
his countenance screwed into the most hideous expression of cunning
and gratified desire.

"I'm a-goin'," he said, with the emphasis of a hoarse whisper, "I
a-goin' to drink myself dead! That's what I'm a-goin' to do, Mr.
Waymark. My four friends ain't what they used for to be, an' 'cos I
ain't got enough of 'em. It's unsatisfaction, that's what it is, as
brings the burnin' i' th' inside, an' the devils in the 'cad. Now
I've got money, an' for wunst in my life I'll be satisfied an'
'appy. And then I'll go where there's _real_ burnin', an' _real_
devils--an' let 'em make the most o' Slimy!"

Waymark felt his blood chill with horror. For years after, the face
of Slimy, as it thus glared at him, haunted him in dreamful nights.
Dante saw nothing more fearful in any circle of hell.

"Well, I've said my say," Slimy remarked, rising from his seat. "An'
now, I'm sorry I'll 'ave to ill-convenience you, Mr. Waymark. You've
behaved better to me than most has, and I wouldn't pay you in
ill-convenience, if I could help it. But I must have time enough to
get off clear. I'll 'ave jist to keep you from 'ollerin'--this
way, see--but I won't hurt you; the nose is good enough for
breathin'. I'll see as some one comes to let you out before
to-morrow mornin'. An' now I'll say good-bye, Mr. Waymark. You won't
see Slimy in this world again, an' if I only knowed 'ow to say a
prayer, why, I'd pray as you mightn't never see him in the next."

With one more look, a look at once of wild anticipation and friendly
regret, Slimy disappeared.

The relief consequent upon the certainty that no worse could happen
had brought Waymark into a state of mind in which he could regard
his position with equanimity. The loss of the money seemed now to be
the most serious result of the affair. Slimy had promised that
release should come before the morning, and would doubtless keep his
word Waymark had a certain confidence in this, which a less
interested person would perhaps have deemed scarcely warrantable. In
the meantime, the discomfort was not extreme to lie gagged and bound
on a garret-floor for some few hours was, after all, a situation
which a philosopher might patiently endure, and to an artist it
might well be suggestive of hints. Breathing, to be sure, was not
easy, but became more so by degrees.

But with the complete recollection of his faculties came back the
thought of what was involved in the question of release before the
following day. Early in the morning he had to be at the door of
Tothill Fields' Prison. How if his release were delayed, through
Slimy's neglect or that of the agent he might employ? As the first
hour passed slowly by, this became the chief anxiety in Waymark's
mind. It made him forgetful of the aching in his arms, caused by the
bind ing together of his hands behind him, and left no room for
anticipation of the other sufferings which would result from his
being left thus for an indefinite period. What would Ida do, if she
came out and found no one to meet her?

His absence would make no one anxious, at all events not till more
than a day had gone by. Hitherto he had always taken his rents at
once to Mr. Woodstock's office, but the old gentleman was not likely
to be disturbed by his non appearance; it would be accounted for in
some simple way, and his coming expected on the following morning.
Then it was as good as certain that no one would come to Slimy's
room. And, by the by, had not there been a sound of the turning of a
key when Slimy took his departure? He could not be quite sure of
this; just then he had noticed all things so imperfectly. Was it
impossible to free a limb, or to ungag his mouth? He tried to turn
his head, but it was clear that throttling would be the only result
of any such effort; and the bonds on hands and feet were immoveable.
No escape, save by Slimy's aid.

He determined not to face the possibility of Slimy's failing in his
word; otherwise, anxiety would make him desperate. He recognised
now, for the first time fully, how much it meant to him, that
meeting with Ida. The shock he had experienced on hearing her
sentence and beholding her face as she left the court had not,
apparently, produced lasting results; his weakness surprised him
when he looked back upon it. In a day or two he had come to regard
the event as finally severing him from Ida, and a certain calm
ensuing hereupon led to the phase which ultimately brought him to
Maud once more. But Waymark's introspection was at fault; he
understood himself less in proportion as he felt that the ground was
growing firmer under his feet. Even when he wrote the letter to the
prison, promising to meet Ida, he had acted as if out of mere
humanity. It needed a chance such as the present to open his eyes.
That she should quit the prison, and, not finding him, wander away
in blank misery and hopelessness, most likely embittered by the
thought that he had carelessly neglected to meet her, and so driven
to despair--such a possibility was intolerable. The fear of it
began to goad him in flesh and spirit. With a sudden violent
stringing of all his sinews, he wrenched at the bonds, but only with
the effect of exhausting himself and making the walls and ceiling
reel before his eyes. The attempt to utter cries resulted in nothing
but muffled moaning. Then, mastering himself once more, he resolved
to be patient. Slimy would not fail him.

He tried not to think of Ida in any way, but this was beyond his
power. Again and again she came before his mind. When he endeavoured
to supplant her by the image of Maud Enderby, the latter's face only
irritated him. Till now, it had been just the reverse; the thought
of Maud had always brought quietness; Ida he had recognised as the
disturbing element of his life, and had learned to associate her
with his least noble instincts. Thinking of this now, he began to
marvel how it could have been so. Was it true that Maud was his good
angel, that in her he had found his ideal? He had forced himself to
believe this, now that he was in honour bound to her; yet she had
never made his pulse quicken, as it had often done when he had
approached Ida. True, that warmth of feeling had come to represent
merely a temptation to him; but was not that the consequence of his
own ambiguous attitude? Suppose he had not known Maud Enderby, how
would he then have regarded Ida, and his relations to her? Were
these in very deed founded on nothing but selfish feeling? Then he
reviewed all his acquaintanceship with her from the first, and every
detail of the story grew to a new aspect.

Thinking of Ida, he found himself wondering how it was that Mr.
Woodstock appeared to take so much interest in her fate. Several
times during the past six months the old man had referred to her,
generally inquiring whether Waymark had written to or heard from
her. And, only two days ago, he had shown that he remembered the
exact date of her release, in asking whether Waymark meant to do
anything. Waymark replying that he intended to meet her, and give
her what assistance he could, the old gentleman had signified his
strong approval, and had even gone on to mention a house in the
neighbourhood of the office, where Ida could be lodged at first. A
room had accordingly been secured beforehand, and it was arranged
that Waymark should take her directly thither on the Tuesday
morning. In reviewing all this, Waymark found it more significant
than he had imagined. Why, he wondered, had Mr. Woodstock grown so
philanthrophic all at once? Why had he been so particular in making
sure that Waymark would meet the girl? Indeed, from the very
beginning of this affair, he had behaved with regard to it in a
manner quite unlike himself. Waymark had leisure now to ponder these
things, but could only conjecture explanations.

The hours went by; a church clock kept him aware of their progress.
The aching in his arms became severe; he suffered from cold. The
floor was swept by a draught which seemed strong and keen as a blast
of east wind; it made his eyes smart, and he kept them closed, with
some slight hope that this might also have the effect of inducing
sleep. Sleep, however, held far aloof from him. When he had wearied
his brain with other thoughts, his attention began to turn to sounds
in the court below. There, just as it grew dusk, some children were
playing, and he tried to get amusement from their games. One of them
was this. A little girl would say to the rest:--"I sent my
daughter to the oil-shop, and the first thing she saw was C;" and
the task was to guess for what article this initial stood.
"Carrots!" cried one, but was laughed to scorn. "Candles!" cried
another, and triumphed. Then there were games which consisted in the
saying of strange incantations. The children would go round and
round, as was evident from the sound of their feet, chanting the
while:--"Sally, Sally Wallflower, Sprinkle in a pan; Rise, Sally
Wallflower, And choose your young man. Choose for the fairest one,
Choose for the best, Choose for the rarest one, That you love best!"
Upon this followed words and movements only half understood; then at
length broke out a sort of hymeneal chorus:--"Here stands a young
couple, Just married and settled: Their father and mother they must
obey. They love one another like sister and brother. So pray, young
couple, come kiss together!" Lastly, laughter and screams and
confusion. This went on till it was quite dark.

Pitch dark in Slimy's room; only the faintest reflection on a
portion of the ceiling of lamplight from without. Waymark's
sufferings became extreme. The rope about his neck seemed to work
itself tighter; there were moments when he had to struggle for the
scant breath which the gag allowed him. He feared lest he should
become insensible, and so perhaps be suffocated. His arms were
entirely numbed; he could not feel that he was lying on them. Surely
Slimy's emissary would come before midnight.

"One, two, three, four--twelve!" How was it that e had lost all
count of the hours since eight o'clock? Whether that had been sleep
or insensibility, Waymark could not decide. Intensity of cold must
have brought back consciousness; his whole body seemed to be frozen;
his eyes ached insufferably. Continuous thought had somehow become
an impossibility; he knew that Ida was constantly in his mind, and
her image clear at times in the dark before him, but he could not
think about her as he wished and tried to do. Who was it that seemed
to come between her and him?--some one he knew, yet could not
identify. Then the hours sounded uncertainly; some he appeared to
have missed. There, at length, was seven. Why, this was morning; and
Slimy had promised that he should be set free before this. What was
it that tortured his struggling brain so? A thought he strove in
vain for a time to grasp. The meaning flashed upon him. By a great
effort he regained complete consciousness; mind alone seemed to be
left to him, his body was dead. Was he, then, really to be prevented
from keeping his promise to Ida? All the suffering of his previous
life amassed was nothing to what Waymark endured during the
successive quarters of this hour. His brain burned: his eyes had no
power to gather the growing daylight. That one name was his single
perception; the sound of it, uttered incessantly in thought, alone
seemed to keep him conscious. He could feel something slightly warm
on his cheeks, but did not know that it was the streaming of tears
from his darkened eyes. Then he lost consciousness once more.

The clock struck eight.





CHAPTER XXIX

FREEDOM




Mr. Woodstock was not so indifferent with regard to Waymark's
failure to bring the rents as the young man supposed. Under ordinary
circumstances he probably would have waited without any anxiety till
the following day; already on a previous occasion Waymark had
collected on Tuesday instead of Monday, though not without notice of
his intention to do so. But Mr. Woodstock had quite special reasons
for wishing to see his agent before the following morning; he
desired to assure himself once more that Waymark would not fail to
be at the prison punctually. When the afternoon passed without the
usual visit, he grew uneasy; he was incapable of attending to
matters of business, and walked up and down his office with
impatient step. Such a mood was extraordinary in Mr. Woodstock; he
had often waxed restive in this or that business difficulty; was,
indeed, anything but remarkable for equanimity under trial; but his
state of mind was quite different at present, and exhibited itself
in entirely different ways. He neither swore nor looked black; his
was the anxiety of a man who has some grave interest at stake
wherein the better part of his nature is concerned.

At five o'clock he took a cab, and went off to Waymark's lodgings in
Chelsea. Here he learned that Waymark had left home at the usual
time, and had not yet returned. Just as he was speaking with the
landlady at the door, another gentleman came up on the same errand.
Mr. Woodstock remembered Julian Casti, and held out his hand to him.
Casti looked ill; his handsome features had wasted, and his fair
complexion was turned to a dull, unhealthy, yellowish hue. It was a
comparatively warm day for the season, but his thin frame was
closely muffled up, and still he seemed to be shrinking under the
air.

"Have you any idea where he can be?" Mr. Woodstock asked, as they
turned away together.

"None whatever. I must see him to-night, though, if possible."

"Ha! And I too."

As he spoke Mr. Woodstock looked at the other keenly, and something
seemed to suggest itself to him.

"I'm going to see if he's been for the rents as usual. Would you
care to come with me?"

Julian looked surprised, but assented. They got into the cab
together, and alighted at the end of Litany Lane, having scarcely
spoken on the way. Inquiries here showed that the collector had gone
his rounds, and departed, it was said, in the ordinary way.

"Have you an hour to spare, Mr. Casti?" asked the old gentleman,
turning suddenly after a moment's reflection.

"Certainly."

"Then I wish you'd just come on with me to St. John's Street Road.
It's possible you may have it in your power to do me a great
service, if Waymark doesn't turn up. And yet, ten to one, I shall
find him waiting for me. Never mind, come along if you can spare the
time; you'll find him the sooner."

Mr. Woodstock tried to pooh-pooh his own uneasiness; yet, totally
improbable as it seemed that Waymark should disappear at such a
juncture, the impatience of the afternoon had worked him into a most
unwonted fit of nervousness. Doubts and suspicions which would
ordinarily never have occurred to him filled his mind. He was again
quite silent till his office was reached.

Waymark had not been. They walked upstairs together, and Mr.
Woodstock asked his companion to be seated. He himself stood, and
began to poke the fire.

"Do you live in Chelsea still?" he suddenly asked.

"Yes."

"I have left word at Waymark's lodgings that he is to come straight
here whenever he returns. If he's not here by midnight, should I
find you up if I called--say at half-past twelve or so?"

"I would in any case wait up for you, with pleasure?"

"Really," said Mr. Woodstock, who could behave with much courtesy
when he chose, "I must apologise for taking such liberties. Our
acquaintance is so slight. And yet I believe you would willingly
serve me in the matter in hand. Perhaps you guess what it is. Never
mind; I could speak of that when I came to you, if I have to come."

Julian's pale cheek had flushed with a sudden warmth. He looked at
the other, and faced steadily the gaze that met his own.

"I am absolutely at your disposal," he said, in a voice which he
tried to make firm, though with small success.

"I am obliged to you. And now you will come and have something to
eat with me; it is my usual time."

Julian declined, however, and almost immediately took his leave. He
walked all the way to Chelsea, regarding nothing that he passed.
When he found himself in his lodgings he put a match to the
ready-laid fire, and presently made himself some tea. Then he sat
idly through the evening, for the most part staring into the glowing
coals, occasionally taking up a book for a few minutes, and throwing
it aside again with a sigh of weariness. As it got late he shivered
so with cold, in spite of the fire, that he had to sit in his
overcoat. When it was past midnight he began to pace the room,
making impatient gestures, and often resting his head upon his hands
as if it ached. It must have been about a quarter to one when there
was the sound of a vehicle pulling up in the street below, followed
by a knock at the door. Julian went down himself, and admitted Mr.
Woodstock.

"What can it mean?" he asked anxiously, when they had walked up to
the room together. "What has become of him?"

"Don't know. I stopped at his place on the way here."

"Don't you fear some mischance? With all that money--"

"Pooh! It's some absurd freak of his, I'll warrant. He doesn't care
how much anxiety he gives other people."

Mr. Woodstock was excited and angry.

"But he will certainly go--go _there_ in the morning, wherever he
is," said Julian.

"I'm not so sure of that. I believe it's on that very account that
he's keeping out of the way!"

He smote his fist on the palm of the other hand with the emphasis of
conviction. Julian looked at him with an expression of wonder. There
was a short silence, and then Mr. Woodstock began to speak more
calmly. The conversation lasted only about a quarter of an hour. Mr.
Woodstock then returned to his cab, which had waited, and Julian
bade him good night at the door.

At six o'clock Julian arose. It was still quite dark when he left
the house, and the air was piercing. But he did not mind the weather
this morning. His step had a vigour very different from the trailing
weariness of the night before, and he looked straight before him as
he walked. There was a heat on his forehead which the raw breath of
the morning could not allay. Before he had gone half a mile, he
flung open his overcoat, as if it oppressed him. It was in the
direction of Westminster that he walked. Out of Victoria Street he
took the same turn as on one miserable night, one which he had taken
on many a night since then. But he was far too early at the prison
gate. He strayed about the little streets of the neighbourhood, his
eyes gazing absently in this or that direction, his hot breath
steaming up in the grey light. When it was drawing near the time, he
made some inquiries from a policeman whom he passed. Then he went to
the spot whither he was directed, and watched. Two or three people,
of poor appearance, were also standing about, waiting. Julian kept
apart from them. First, a miserable old woman, huddling herself in a
dirty shawl; looking on all sides with a greedy eye; hastening off
no one knew whither. Then two young girls, laughing aloud at their
recovered liberty; they repaired at once to the nearest
public-house. Then a figure of quite different appearance, coming
quickly forward, hesitating, gazing around; a beautiful face, calm
with too great self-control, sad, pale. Towards her Julian advanced.

"Mr. Waymark was unavoidably prevented from coming," he said
quickly. "But he has taken rooms for you. You will let me go with
you, and show you the house?"

"Thank you," was Ida's only reply.

They walked together into the main street, and Julian stopped the
first empty cab that passed. As he sat opposite to her, his eyes, in
spite of himself, kept straying to her face. Gazing at her, Casti's
eyes grew dim. He forced himself not to look at her again till the
cab stopped.

"They are prepared for you here," he said, as they stood on the
pavement. "Just give your name. And--you will not go away? You
will wait till some one calls?"

Ida nodded.

" No; but your word," Julian urged anxiously. "Promise me."

"I promise."

She went up to the door and knocked. Julian walked quickly away. At
the end of the street Mr. Woodstock was waiting.

"What's the matter?" he asked, examining the young man anxiously.

"Nothing--nothing!"

"Does she seem well?"

"I think so; yes," Casti replied, in a stifled voice. Then he asked
hurriedly, "Where can Waymark be? What does it all mean?"

Mr. Woodstock shook his head, looking annoyed.

"I am convinced," Julian said, "that something is wrong. Surely it's
time to make inquiries."

"Yes, yes; I will do so. But you look downright ill. Do you feel
able to get home? If I'd thought it would upset you like this--"

Mr. Woodstock was puzzled, and kept scrutinising the other's face.

"I shall go home and have a little rest," Julian said. "I didn't get
much sleep last night, that's all. But I must hear about Waymark."

"You shall. I'll warrant he turns up in the course of the day. Don't
be anxious: I'll get to work as soon as possible to find him; but,
depend upon it, the fellow's all right."

They shook hands, and Julian took his way homewards. Mr. Woodstock
went to the house which Ida had just entered. He knocked lightly,
and a woman opened to him and led him into a sitting-room on the
ground-floor.

"I'll just have a cup of coffee, Mrs. Sims," he said. "Does she seem
to care for her breakfast?"

"I'm afraid not, sir; she looks tired out, and poorly like."

"Yes, yes; the long journey and her troubles. Make her as
comfortable as you can. I'll make myself at home with the paper here
for an hour or so. Just see if she cares to lie down for a little;
If so I won't disturb her."

Abraham did not devote much attention to the news. He sat before the
fire, a cup of coffee within reach on the mantel piece, his legs
fully stretched out before him, his favourite attitude when
thinking. In spite of his fresh complexion and active limbs, you
would have seen, had you watched him in his present mood, that Mr.
Woodstock was beginning to age. Outwardly he was well-preserved--
few men of his years anything like so well. But let the inner man
become visible during a fit of brooding, and his features made
evident the progress of years. His present phase of countenance was
a recent development; the relaxed lines brought to light a human
kindliness not easily discoverable in the set expression of
wide-awake hours. At present there was even tenderness in his eyes,
and something of sad recollection. His strong mouth twitched a
little at times, and his brows contracted, as if in self-reproach.
When he returned to himself, it was with a sigh. He sat for about an
hour; then the woman presented herself again, and told him that Miss
Starr had been persuaded to lie down. It seemed likely she might
sleep.

"Very well," said Mr. Woodstock, rising. "I'll go to the office.
Send some one round when she's stirring, will you?"

Ida, to get rid of her troublesome though well-meaning attendant,
had promised to lie down, but she had no need of sleep. Alone, she
still kept her chair by the fire, sitting like one worn out with
fatigue, her hands upon her lap, her head drooping, her eyes fixed
on vacancy. She was trying to think, but thoughts refused to come
consecutively, and a dull annoyance at this inability to reason upon
her position fretted her consciousness. Not with impunity can the
human mind surrender itself for half a year to unvaried brooding
upon one vast misery; the neglected faculties revenge themselves by
rusting, and will not respond when at length summoned. For months
Ida's thoughts had gone round and round about one centre of anguish,
like a wailing bird circling over a ravaged nest. The image of her
mental state had been presented by an outward experience with which
she became familiar. Waking long before daylight, she would lie with
her eyes directed to the little barred window, and watch till there
came the first glimmer of dawn. Even so was it her sole relief in
the deep night of her misery to look forward for that narrow gleam
of hope--her ultimate release. As the day approached, she made it
the business of her thoughts to construct a picture of the events it
would bring. Even before hearing from Waymark, she had been sure
that he would meet her; Waymark and freedom grew identical images;
to be free meant to see him awaiting her and to put herself
absolutely in his hands. Now that everything had turned out
differently from what she had grown to anticipate with certainty,
she found herself powerless to face the unexpected. Why had Waymark
failed her?--she could do no more than repeat the question a
thousand times, till the faculty of self-communing forsook her. It
was as though the sun should fail one morning to rise upon the
world, and men should stand hopeless of day for ever.

She wondered vaguely whither she had been brought. At one moment she
seemed to have been waiting an eternity in this unknown room,
Julian's face and voice unspeakably remote; then again she would
look round and wonder that she no longer saw the hare walls and
barred window of her cell, the present seeming only a dream. All the
processes of her mind were slow, sinewless. She tried to hope for
something, to expect that something would happen, but could not
summon the energy. Resentment, revolt, bitterness of spirit, of
these things she knew just as little. They had been strong enough
within her at first, but how long ago that seemed! She had no
thought of time in the present; to sit waiting for an hour meant as
little as to wait five minutes; such was the habit that had become
impressed upon her by interminable days and nights. When at length
she heard a knock at the door it filled her with fear; she started
to her feet and looked with unintelligent eyes at the woman who
again presented herself.

"Do you feel better, 'm?" the landlady asked. "Have you rested
yourself?"

"Yes, thank you."

The woman went away; then came another knock, and Mr. Woodstock
entered the room. He closed the door behind him, and drew near. She
had again started up, and did not move her eyes from his face.

"Have you any recollection of me?" Abraham asked, much embarrassed
in her presence, his voice failing to be as gentle as he wished
through his difficulty in commanding it.

Ida had recognised him at once. He had undergone no change since
that day when she saw him last in Milton Street, and at this moment
it was much easier for her to concentrate her thoughts upon bygone
things than to realise the present.

"You are Abraham Woodstock," she said very coldly, the resentment
associated with the thought of him being yet stronger than the dead
habit which had but now oppressed her.

"Yes, I am. And I am a friend of Osmond Waymark. I should like to
talk a little with you, if you'll let me."

The old man found it so hard to give expression to the feelings that
possessed him. Ida concluded at once that he came with some hostile
purpose, and the name of Waymark was an incentive to her numbed
faculties.

"How can you be a friend of Osmond Waymark?" she asked, with cold
suspicion.

"Didn't he ever mention my name to you?"

"Never."

Waymark had in truth always kept silence with Ida about his
occupations, though he had spoken so freely of them to Maud. He
could not easily have explained to himself why he had made this
difference, though it had a significance. Mr. Woodstock was almost
at a loss how to proceed. He coughed, and moved his foot uneasily.

"I have known him all his life, for all that," he said. "And it was
through him I found you."

"Found me?"

"It'll seem very strange, what I have to tell you.--You were a
little girl when I saw you last, and you refused to come with me.
Had you any idea why I asked you?"

"I hadn't then."

"But you have thought of it since?"

Ida looked at him sternly, and turned her eyes away again. The
belief that he was her father had always increased the resentment
with which she recalled his face.

"I am your grandfather," Abraham said gravely. "Your mother was my
daughter."

A change came over her countenance; she gazed at him with wonder.

"Who did you think I was?" he asked.

She hesitated for a moment, then, instead of replying, said:

"You behaved cruelly to my poor mother."

"I won't deny it," the old man returned, mastering his voice with
difficulty. "I ought to have been more patient with her. But she
refused to obey me, and I can't help my nature. I repented it when
it was too late."

Ida could not know what it cost him to utter these abrupt sentences.
He seemed harsh, even in confining his harshness. She was as far
from him as ever.

"I can't do anything for _her_," Mr. Woodstock continued, trying to
look her in the face. "But you are her child, and I want to do now
what I ought to have done long ago. I've come here to ask you if
you'll live in my house, and be like a child of my own."

"I don't feel to you as a child ought," Ida said, her voice changing
to sadness. "You've left it too late."

"No, it isn't too late!" exclaimed the other, with emotion he could
not control. "You mustn't think of yourself, but of me. You have all
your life before you, but I'm drawing near to the end of mine.
There's no one in the world belonging to me but you. I have a
_right_ to--"

"No right! no right!" Ida interrupted him almost passionately.

"Then _you_ have a duty," said Abraham, with lowered voice. "My mind
isn't at ease, and it's in your power to help me. Don't imitate me,
and put off doing good till it is too late. I don't ask you to feel
kindly to me; all I want is that you'll let me take you to my home
and do all I can for you, both now and after I'm gone."

There was pathos in the speech, and Ida felt it.

"Do you know where I came from this morning ?" she asked, when both
had been silent for some moments.

"I know all about it. I was at the trial, and I did my best for you
then."

"Do you believe that I robbed that woman?" Ida asked, leaning
forward with eager eyes and quickened breath.

"Believe it! Not I! No one believes it who knows anything about her.
Waymark said he wouldn't have believed it if all the courts in
England found you guilty."

"_He_ said that?" she exclaimed. Then, as if suddenly becoming
clearer about her position: "Where is Mr. Waymark? Why didn't he
meet me as he promised?"

Abraham hesitated, but speedily made up his mind that it would be
best to speak the truth.

"I know as little as you do. He ought to have come to me yesterday,
but he didn't, and I can't discover him. I got Mr. Casti to meet you
instead."

The keenest trouble manifested itself on Ida's countenance. She
asked questions in rapid succession, and thus elicited an
explanation of all the circumstances hitherto unknown to her.

"Have you been through the houses?" she inquired, all her native
energy restored by apprehension. "Haven't you thought that he may
have been robbed and--"

She stopped, overcome by sudden weakness, and sank into the chair.

"Come, come, it isn't so bad as all that," said the old man,
observing her closely. "He may turn up at any moment; all sorts of
unexpected things may have happened. But I'll go again to his
lodgings, and if I can't hear anything there, I'll set the police to
work. Will you promise me to wait here quietly?"

"No, that I can't do. I want to move about; I must do something. Let
me go with you to look for him."

"No, no; that'll never do, Ida."

The power of speaking tenderly seemed to have been given to him all
at once; this and his calling her "Ida," struck so upon the girl's
agitated feelings that she began to sob.

"Let me, let me go with you! I will forget everything--I will be
your child--I will try to love you.--"

She was as weak as water, and would have sunk to the ground if
Abraham had not given her his support just in time. He could not
find words to soothe her, but passed his hand very tenderly over her
head.

"We are losing time!" she exclaimed, forcing herself into an
appearance of calmness. "Come at once."





CHAPTER XXX

ELM COURT




In Beaufort Street they only learnt that Waymark had not yet been
home. Thence they drove to the east, and stopped at a
police-station, where Abraham saw the inspector. The latter
suggested that Mr. Woodstock should go through all the houses which
Waymark would have visited; if that search proved fruitless, the
police would pursue the matter. Ida insisted on being allowed to
accompanying him when the cab stopped at the end of Litany Lane. She
gazed about her like one who had been suddenly set down in a new
country; this squalor and vileness, so familiar to her of old,
affected her strangely under the present conditions. The faces of
people at whom she looked remained fresh in her memory for years
after; the long confinement and the excitement which now possessed
her resulted in preternatural acuteness of observation. Abraham
spoke first with several people whom he had already questioned about
Waymark, but they had heard nothing since.

"Are you strong enough for this?" he asked Ida. "Hadn't you better
go back to the cab and wait for me!"

"Don't ask me to do that!" she entreated earnestly. "I _must_ be
active. I have strength now for anything."

Just as she spoke, Mr. Woodstock became aware of a disturbance of
some kind in a duty little tobacconist's shop close at hand. There
was a small crowd at the door, and the sound of wrangling voices
came from within. Such an occurrence was too ordinary to suggest any
special significance, but Abraham would not pass without making some
inquiry. Begging Ida to stand where he left her, he pushed his way
into the shop and listened to what was going on. A lad, well known
in these parts as "Lushy Dick," was, it appeared, charging the
tobacconist with cheating him; he alleged that he had deposited half
a sovereign on the counter in payment for a cigar, and the shopman
had given him change as if for sixpence, maintaining stoutly that
sixpence had been the coin given him, and no half-sovereign at all.
When Mr. Woodstock entered, the quarrel had reached a high pitch.

"Arf a quid!" the tobacconist was exclaiming contemptuously. "I'd
like to know where such as you's likely to git arf a quid from."

Lushy Dick, stung to recklessness by a succession of such remarks,
broke out in vehement self-justification.

"_Would_ yer like to know, y' old ----! Then yer shall, ---- soon!
I'm ---- if I don't tell jist the ---- truth, an' take the ----
consequences. It was Slimy as give it me, an' if yer want to know
where Slimy got it, yer 'll 'ave to ---- well find out, 'cos I don't
know myself."

"And how came Slimy to give you half a sovereign?" Mr. Woodstock at
once interposed, speaking with authority.

"Is that you, Mr. Woodstock?" exclaimed the boy, turning round
suddenly at the sound of the voice. "Now, look 'ere, I'm a-goin' to
make a ---- clean breast of it. This 'ere ---- bloke's been a
ringin' the changes on me; I'll show him up, an' ---- well chance
it. Slimy give me a quid afore he took his ---- hook."

The lad had clearly been drinking, but had not yet reached the
incoherent stage. He spoke in great excitement, repeating constantly
his determination to be revenged upon the tobacconist at all costs.
It was with difficulty that Mr. Woodstock kept him to the point.

"Why Slimy give it me? Well, I'll jist tell yer, Mr. Woodstock. It
was to do a job for him, which I never done it after all. Slimy told
me as 'ow I was to go to your orffice at ten o'clock last night, 'an
tell you from him as he'd no more 'casion for his room, so he'd sent
yer the key, an' yer'd better come as soon as possible an' see as
he'd left everything square behind him, an' 'cos he was afraid he'd
locked in a friend o' yourn by mistake an' in his hurry."

"And why the devil didn't you come?" exclaimed Abraham, looking at
him in angry surprise.

"'Cos why, Mr. Woodstock? Well, I'll tell yer just the bloomin'
truth, an' charnce it. I loss the key out o' my pocket, through
'avin' a ---- hole in it, so I thought as 'ow I'd best just say
nothink about neither Slimy nor his room, an' there y'ave it!"

Abraham was out of the shop again on the instant.

"I've found him," he said to Ida. "A house round there in the
court."

She walked quickly by his side, a cluster of people following them.
Fortunately, a policeman was just coming from the opposite end of
Litany Lane, and Mr. Woodstock secured his services to keep the mob
from entering the house where Slimy had lived. As soon as they got
inside, the old man begged Ida to remain in a room on the ground
floor whilst he went upstairs, and this she consented to do.
Reaching the garret, he tried the handle of the door, without
effect. Knocking and calling produced no response, and within all
was perfectly quiet. Hesitating no longer, he drew back as far as
the wall would allow him, and ran with his foot against the door.
The rotten woodwork cracked, and a second onset forced the lock
away. In the middle of the floor Waymark lay, just as Slimy had left
him nearly twenty-four hours ago. Abraham scarcely ventured to draw
near; there was no motion in the fettered body, and he dreaded to
look closely at the face. Before he could overcome this momentary
fear, there was a quick step behind him, and, with a smothered cry,
Ida had rushed into the room. She was on her knees beside Waymark,
her face close down to his.

"He is alive!" she cried. "His eyes have opened. A knife! Cut these
cords!"

That was soon accomplished, but Waymark lay motionless; he showed
that he understood what was going on, but he was quite blind, his
voice had all but gone, and a dead man could as soon have risen. Ida
still knelt by him, chafing one of his hands; when he tried to
speak, she gently raised his head and let it rest upon her lap. In a
few minutes Abraham had procured a glass of spirits, and, after
drinking this, Waymark was able to make himself understood.

"Who is touching me?" he asked in a hoarse whisper. "It is all dark.
Whose hand is this?"

"It's Ida," Abraham said, when she herself remained silent. "She and
I have had a rare hunt for you."

"Ida?"

He endeavoured to raise himself, but in vain. All he could do was to
press her hand to his heart. In the meantime the policeman had come
up, and with his help Waymark was carried downstairs, out into the
court, and thence to the end of Litany Lane, where the cab still
waited.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Four days after this the following paragraph appeared in the morning
papers:--

"The man wanted on a charge of robbery with violence in the East
End, and who appears to be known only by the nickname of Slimy, was
yesterday afternoon discovered by the police in a cellar in
Limehouse. He seems to have been in hiding there since the
perpetration of the crime, only going out from time to time to
purchase liquor at public-houses in the neighbourhood. Information
given by the landlord of one of these houses led to his arrest. He
was found lying on the stone floor, with empty bottles about him,
also a quantity of gold and silver coins, which appeared to have
rolled out of his pocket. He was carried to the police-station in an
insensible state, but on being taken to the cell, came to himself,
and exhibited symptoms of delirium tremens. Two officers remained
with him, but the assistance of a third shortly became necessary,
owing to the violence of his struggles. Towards midnight his fury
lessened, and. after a very brief interval of unconsciousness, the
wretched creature expired."





CHAPTER XXXI

NEW PROSPECTS




Mr. Woodstock's house at Tottenham was a cheerful abode when the
months of early summer came round, and there was thick leafage
within the shelter of the old brick wall which shut it off from the
road.

For the first time in his life he understood the attractions of
domesticity. During the early months of the year, slippers and the
fireside after dinner; now that the sunset-time was growing warm and
fragrant, a musing saunter about the garden walks; these were the
things to which his imagination grew fond of turning. Nor to these
only; blended with such visions of bodily comfort, perchance lending
to them their chief attraction, was the light of a young face, grave
always, often sad, speaking with its beautiful eyes to those simpler
and tenderer instincts of his nature which had hitherto slept. In
the presence of Ida (who was now known, by his wish, as Miss
Woodstock) Abraham's hard voice found for itself a more modest and
musical key.

He began--novel sensation--to look upon himself as a respectable
old gentleman; the grey patches on his head were grateful to him
from that point of view. If only he had been able to gather round
his granddaughter and himself a circle of equally respectable
friends and acquaintances, he would have enjoyed complete
satisfaction. Two or three at most there were, whom he could venture
to bring over with him from the old life to the new. For Ida he
could as yet provide no companionship at all.

But Ida did not feel the want. Since the day of her coming to the
new house her life had been very full; so much was passing within,
that she desired to escape, rather than discover, new distractions
in the world around her. For the week or so during which Waymark had
lain ill, her courage had triumphed over the sufferings to which she
was herself a prey; the beginning of his recovery brought about a
reaction in her state, and for some days she fell into a depressed
feebleness almost as extreme as on the first morning of her freedom.
It distressed her to be spoken to, and her own lips were all but
mute. Mr. Woodstock sometimes sat by her whilst she slept, or seemed
to be sleeping; when she stirred and showed consciousness of his
presence, he left her, so great was his fear of annoying her, and
thus losing the ground he had gained. Once, when he was rising to
quit the room, Ida held out her hand as if to stay him. She was
lying on a sofa, and had enjoyed a very quiet sleep.

"Grandfather," she murmured, turning to face him. It was the first
time she had addressed him thus, and the old man's eyes brightened
at the sound.

"Are you better for the sleep, Ida?" he asked, taking the hand she
had extended.

"Much; much better. How the sun shines!"

"Yes, it's a fine day. Don't you think you could go out a little?"

"I think I should like to, but I can't walk very far, I'm afraid."

"You needn't walk at all, my dear. Your carriage shall be here
whenever you like to order it."

"My carriage?"

The exclamation was like a child's pleased wonder. She coloured a
little, and seemed ashamed.

"How is Mr. Waymark?" was her next question.

"Nothing much amiss now, I think. His eyes are painful, he says, and
he mustn't leave the room yet, but it won't last much longer. Shall
we go together and see him?"

She hesitated, but decided to wait till he could come down.

"But you'll go out, Ida, if I order the carriage?"

"Thank you, I should like to."

That first drive had been to Ida a joy unspeakable. To-day for the
first time she was able to sweep her mind clear of the dread shadow
of brooding, and give herself up to simple enjoyment of the hour.

Abraham went and told Waymark of all this as soon as they got back.
In the exuberance of his spirits he was half angry with the invalid
for being gloomy. Waymark had by this time shaken off all effects of
his disagreeable adventure, with the exception of a weakness of the
eyes; but convalescence did not work upon him as in Ida's case. He
was morose, often apparently sunk in hopeless wretchedness. When
Abraham spoke to him of Ida, he could scarcely be got to reply.
Above all, he showed an extreme impatience to recover his health and
go back to the ordinary life.

"I shall be able to go for the rents next Monday," he said to Mr.
Woodstock one day.

"I should have thought you'd had enough of that. I've found another
man for the job."

"Then what on earth am I to do?" Waymark exclaimed impatiently. "How
am I to get my living if you take that work away from me?"

"Never mind; we'll find something," Abraham returned. "Why are you
in such a hurry to get away, I should like to know?"

"Simply because I can't always live here, and I hate uncertainty."

There was something in the young man's behaviour which puzzled Mr.
Woodstock; but the key to the puzzle was very shortly given him. On
the evening of the same day he presented himself once more in
Waymark's room. The latter could not see him, but the first sound of
his voice was a warning of trouble.

"Do you feel able to talk?" Abraham asked, rather gruffly.

"Yes. Why?"

"Because I want to ask you a few questions. I've just had a call
from that friend of yours, Mr. Enderby, and something came out in
talk that I wasn't exactly prepared for."

Waymark rose from his chair.

"Why didn't you tell me," pursued Mr. Woodstock, "that you were
engaged to his daughter?"

"I scarcely thought it necessary."

"Not when I told you who Ida was?"

This disclosure had been made whilst Waymark was still confined to
his bed; partly because Abraham had a difficulty in keeping the
matter to himself; partly because be thought it might help the other
through his illness. Waymark had said very little at the time, and
there had been no conversation on the matter between them since.

"I don't see that it made any difference," Waymark replied gloomily.

The old man was silent. He had been, it seemed, under a complete
delusion, and could not immediately make up his mind whether he had
indeed ground of complaint against Waymark.

"Why did Mr. Enderby call?" the latter inquired.

"Very naturally, it seems to me, to know what had become of you. He
didn't see the report in the paper, and went searching for you."

"Does Ida know of this?" he asked, after a pause, during which
Waymark had remained standing with his arms crossed on the back of
the chair.

"I have never told her. Why should I have done? Perhaps now you will
believe what I insisted upon before the trial, that there had been
nothing whatever--"

He spoke irritably, and was interrupted by the other with yet more
irritation.

"Never mention that again to me as long as you live, Waymark If you
do, we shall quarrel, understand!"

"I have no more pleasure in referring to it than you have," said
Waymark, more calmly; "but I must justify myself when you attack
me."

"How long has this been going on?" asked the other, after a silence.

"Some three months--perhaps more."

"Well, I think it would have been better if you'd been
straightforward about it, that's all. I don't know that I've
anything more to say. We know what we're about, and there's an end
of it."

So saying, the old man went out of the room. There was a difference
in him henceforth, something which Ida noticed, though she could not
explain it. On the following day he spoke with her on a matter she
was surprised to hear him mention, her education. He had been
thinking, he said, that she ought to learn to play the piano, and be
taught foreign languages. Wouldn't she like him to find some lady
who could live in the house and teach her all these things? Ida's
thoughts at once ran to the conclusion that this had been suggested
by Waymark, and, when she found that her grandfather really wished
it, gave a ready assent. A week or two later the suitable person had
been discovered--a lady of some thirty years of age, by name Miss
Hurst. She was agreeable and refined, endowed. moreover, with the
tact which was desirable in one undertaking an office such as this.
Ida found her companionship pleasant, and Mr. Woodstock con
gratulated himself on having taken the right step.

At the same time that the governess came to the house, Waymark left
it. He returned to his old lodgings, and, with an independence which
was partly his own impulse, partly the natural result of the slight
coolness towards him which had shown itself in Mr. Woodstock, set to
work to find a means of earning his living. This he was fortunate
enough to discover without any great delay; he obtained a place as
assistant in a circulating library. The payment was small, but be
still had his evenings free.

Ida did not conceal her disappointment when Abraham conveyed this
news to her; she had been hoping for better things. Her intercourse
with Waymark between his recovery and his leaving the house had been
difficult, full of evident constraint on both sides. It was the
desire of both not to meet alone, and in Mr. Woodstock's presence
they talked of indifferent things, with an artificiality which it
was difficult to support, yet impossible to abandon. They shunned
each other's eyes. Waymark was even less at his ease than Ida,
knowing that Mr. Woodstock observed him closely at all times. With
her grandfather Ida tried to speak freely of their friend, but she
too was troubled by the consciousness that the old man did not seem
as friendly to Waymark as formerly.

"This will of course only be for a time?" she said, when told of
Waymark's new employment.

"I don't know," Abraham replied indifferently. "I should think it
will suit him as well as anything else."

"But he is clever; he writes books. Don't you think he will make
himself known some day?"

"That kind of thing isn't much to be depended on, it seems to me.
It's a doubtful business to look forward to for a living."

Ida kept silence on the subject after that. She did not seem to
brood any longer over sad thoughts, yet it was seldom she behaved or
spoke light-heartedly; her face often indicated an absent mind, but
it was the calm musing of one whose thoughts look to the future and
strengthen themselves with hope. Times there were when she drew away
into solitude, and these were the intervals of doubt and
self-questioning. With her grandfather she was reconciled; she had
become convinced of his kindness to her, and the far-off past was
now seldom in her mind. The trouble originated in the deepest
workings of her nature. When she found herself comparing her
position now with that of former days, it excited in her a restive
mood to think that chance alone had thus raised her out of misery,
that the conscious strength and purity of her soul would never have
availed to help her to the things which were now within her grasp.
The old sense of the world's injustice excited anger and revolt in
her heart. Chance, chance alone befriended her, and the reflection
injured her pride. What of those numberless struggling creatures to
whom such happy fortune could never come, who, be their aspirations
and capabilities what they might, must struggle vainly, agonise, and
in the end despair? She had been lifted out of hell, not risen
therefrom by her own strength. Sometimes it half seemed to her that
it would have been the nobler lot to remain as she was, to share the
misery of that dread realm of darkness with those poor disinherited
ones, to cherish that spirit of noble rebellion, the consciousness
of which had been as a pure fire on the altar of her being. What was
to be her future? Would she insensibly forget her past self, let her
strength subside in refinement--it might be, even lose the passion
which had made her what she was?

But hope predominated. Forget! Could she ever forget those faces in
the slums on the day when she bade farewell to poverty and all its
attendant wretchedness? Litany Lane and Elm Court were names which
already symbolised a purpose. If ever she still looked at her
grandfather with a remnant of distrust, it was because she thought
of him as drawing money from such a source, enjoying his life of
ease in disregard of the responsibilities laid upon him. The day
would come when she could find courage to speak to him. She waited
and prepared herself.

Prepared herself, for that, and for so much else. Waymark's
behaviour would have cost her the bitterest misery, had she not been
able to explain it to her own satisfaction. There could be but one
reason why he held aloof from her, and that an all-sufficient one.
In her new position, it was impossible for him to be more than just
friendly to her. If that had been his attitude in the old days, how
could his self-respect allow him to show the slightest change? In
his anxiety not to do so, he had even fallen short of the former
kindness. No forgiveness was needed, when she felt that she
understood him so well. But all the more did it behove her to make
herself worthy of him in all things. She had still so much to learn;
she was so far his inferior in culture and understanding. Her
studies with Miss Hurst were fruitful. Nor were her domestic duties
forgotten. Mr. Woodstock had supplied her with a good housekeeper,
to help her inexperience, but Ida took an adequate burden on her own
shoulders. This again was a new and keen joy.

Waymark dined with them one Sunday in June, and, in the course of
the evening, went with Abraham to the smoking-room for some private
conversation.

"Do you remember," he began, "once offering to buy those shares of
mine?"

"Yes, I do," replied Mr. Woodstock, narrowing his eyes.

"Does the offer still hold good?"

"Yes, yes; if you're anxious to realise."

"I am. I want money--for two purposes."

"What are they?" Abraham asked bluntly.

"One is a private matter, which I don't think I need speak of; but
the other I can explain. I have found a courageous publisher who has
offered to bring my book out if I take a certain risk. This I have
made up my mind to do. I want to get the thing out, if only for the
sake of hearing Mrs. Grundy lift up her voice; and if it can't be
otherwise, I must publish at my own expense."

"Will it repay you?" Mr. Woodstock asked.

"Ultimately, I have no doubt; but I don't care so much about that."

"H'm. I should think that's the chief matter to be considered. And
you won't tell me what the other speculation is?"

"I'm going to lend a friend some money, but I don't wish to go into
detail."

The old man looked at him shrewdly.

"Very well," he said presently. "I'll let you have the cash. Could
you manage to look in at the office to-morrow at mid-day?"

This was arranged, and Waymark rose, but Mr. Woodstock motioned to
him to resume his seat.

"As we're talking," he began, "I may as well have over something
that's on my mind. Why haven't you told Ida yet about that
engagement of yours?"

"Haven't _you_ done so?" Waymark asked, in surprise.

"Did you think I had?"

"Why, yes, I did."

"I've done nothing of the kind," Abraham returned, pretending to be
surprised at the supposition, though he knew it was a perfectly
natural one.

Waymark was silent.

"Don't you think," the other pursued, "it's about time something was
said to her?"

"I can't see that it matters, and--"

"But I _can_ see. As long as that isn't known you're here, to speak
plainly, on false pretences."

"Then I won't come here at all!"

"Very good," exclaimed the old man irritably, "so long as you
explain to her first."

Waymark turned away, and stood gazing gloomily at the floor. Abraham
regarded him, and a change came over his hard face.

"Now, look here," he said, "there's something in all this I can't
make out. Is this engagement a serious one?"

"Serious?" returned the other, with a look of misery. "How can it be
otherwise?"

"Very well; in that case you're bound to let Ida know about it, and
at once. Damn it all, don't you know your own mind?"

Waymark collected himself, and spoke gravely.

"I, of course, understand why you press so for this explanation. You
take it for granted that Ida regards me as something more than a
friend. If so, my manner since she has been here must have clearly
shown her that, on my side, I have not the least thought of offering
more than friendship. You yourself will grant so much, I believe.
For all that, I don't deny that our relations have always been
unusual; and it would cost me very much to tell her of my
engagement. I ask you to relieve me of the painful task, on the
understanding that I never come here again. I can't make you
understand my position. You say my behaviour has not been
straightforward. In the ordinary sense of the word it has not;--
there let it rest. Tell Ida what you will of me, and let me
disappear from her world."

"The plain English of all which," cried Abraham angrily, "is, that,
as far as you are concerned, you would be quite willing to let the
girl live on false hopes, just to have the pleasure of her society
as long as you care for it"

"Not so, not so at all! I value Ida's friendship as I value that of
no other woman, and I am persuaded that, if I were free with her, I
could reconcile her entirely to our connection remaining one of
friendship, and nothing more."

Waymark, in his desperate straits, all but persuaded himself that he
told the truth. Mr. Woodstock gazed at him in doubt. He would give
him to the end of July to make up his mind; by that time Waymark
must either present himself as a free man, or allow Ida to be
informed of his position. In the meanwhile he must come to Tottenham
not oftener than once a week. To this Waymark agreed, glad of any
respite.

He returned to his lodgings in a state of nervous misery.
Fortunately, he was not left to his thoughts; in a few minutes a
knock at his door announced a visitor in the person of Mr. O'Gree.
The Irishman exhibited his wonted liveliness, and at once began to
relate an incident to the disadvantage of his archenemy.

"Faith," he cried, "I'd have given a trifle if ye could have heard
the conversation between Tootle and me, just after breakfast
yesterday. The boys were filing out of the room, when, 'Mr. O'Gree!'
cries Pendy.--'Sir!' I reply.--'The boys were called late this
morning, I hear.'--'No such thing, sir,' I assure 'um. 'Half-past
six to the minute, by my watch.'--'Oh, _your_ watch, Mr. O'Gree,'
cries the old reprobate. 'I fear your watch doesn't keep very good
time.'--'Sure, you're in the right, sir,' said I;' it's been
losing a little of late; so only last night I stopped it at
half-past six, to make sure it would show me the right calling-time
this morning.' And, when I'd said that, I just nod my head, as much
as to say, 'There's one for ye, me boy!' and walk off as jaunty as a
Limerick bantam."

Then, after a burst of merriment, O'Gree suddenly fixed his face in
a very grave expression.

"I'm resolved, Waymark, I'm resolved!" he exclaimed. "At midsummer I
break my chains, and stand erect in the dignity of a free man. I've
said it often, but now I mean it. Sally urges me to do ut, and Sally
never utters a worrud that isn't pure wisdom."

"Well, I think she's right. I myself should prefer a scavenger's
existence, on the whole. But have you thought any further of the
other scheme?"

"The commercial undertaking? We were talking it over the other
night. Sally says: Borrow the money and risk ut. And I think she's
in the right. If you enter the world of commerce, you must be
prepared for speculation. We looked over the advertisements in a
newspaper, just to get an idea, and we calculated the concern could
be set afloat for seventy-five pounds. Out of that we could pay a
quarter's rent, and stock the shop. Sally's been behind the counter
a good bit of late, and she's getting an insight into that kind of
thing. Wonderful girl, Sally! Put her in Downing Street for a week,
and she'd be competent to supplant the Premier!"

'You have decided for a chandler's?"

"Yes; we neither of us know much about tobacco, and tobacco perhaps
isn't quits the thing for a man of education. But to be a chandler
is something worthy of any man's ambition. You supply at once the
solids and the luxuries of life; you range from boiled ham and
pickles to mixed biscuits and preserves. You are the focus of a
whole street. The father comes to you for his mid-day bread and
cheese, the mother for her half-ounce of tea, the child for its
farthing's-worth of sweets. For years I've been leading a useless
life; once let me get into my shop, and I become a column of the
social system. Faith, it's as good as done!"

"From whom shall you borrow the cash?"

"Sally's going to think about that point. I suppose we shall go to a
loan office, and make some kind of arrangement. I'm rather vague on
these things, but Sally will find it out."

"I understand," said Waymark, checking his amusement, that you are
perfectly serious in this plan?"

"As serious as I was in the moment of my birth! There's no other
chance."

"Very well, then, suppose I offer to lend you the money."

"You, Waymark?"

"No less a person."

And he went on to explain how it was that he was able to make the
offer, adding that any sum up to a hundred pounds was at his
friend's disposal.

"Ye mean it, Waymark!" cried O'Gree, leaping round the room in
ecstasy. "Bedad, you are a man and a brother, and no mistake! Ye're
the first that ever offered to lend me a penny; ye're the first that
ever had faith in me! You shall come with me to see Sally on
Saturday, and tell her this yourself, and I shouldn't be surprised
if she gives you a kiss!"

O'Gree exhausted himself in capering and vociferation, then sat down
and began to exercise his luxuriant imagination in picturing
unheard-of prosperity.

"We'll take a shop in a new neighbourhood, where we shall have the
monopoly. The people 'll get to know Sally; she'll be like a magnet
behind the counter. I shall go to the wholesale houses, and impress
them with a sense of my financial stability; I flatter myself I
shall look the prosperous shopkeeper, eh? Who knows what we may come
to? Why, in a few years we may transfer our business to Oxford
Street or Piccadilly, and call ourselves Italian warehousemen; and
bedad, we'll turn out in the end another Crosse and Blackwell, see
if we don't!"

At the utmost limit of the time allowed him by the rules of The
Academy, the future man of business took his leave, in spirits
extravagant even for him.

"Faith," he exclaimed, when he was already at the door, "who d'ye
think I saw last Sunday? As I was free in the afternoon, I took a
walk, and, coming back, I went into a little coffee-shop for a cup
of tea. A man in an apron came up to serve me, and, by me soul, if
it wasn't poor old Egger! I've heard not a word of him since he left
last Christmas. He was ashamed of himself, poor devil; but I did my
best to make him easy. After all, he's better off than in the
scholastic line."

Waymark laughed at this incident, and stood watching Q'Gree's
progress down the street for a minute or two. Then he went to his
room again, and sitting down with a sigh, fell into deep brooding.





CHAPTER XXXII

A VISION OF SIN




Maud Enderby's life at home became ever more solitary. Such daily
intercourse as had been established between her mother and herself
grew less and less fruitful of real intimacy, till at length it was
felt by both to be mere form. Maud strove against this, but there
was no corresponding effort on the other side; Mrs. Enderby showed
no dislike for her daughter, yet unmistakably shunned her. If she
chanced to enter the sitting-room whilst Maud was there, she would,
if possible, retreat unobserved; or else she would feign to have
come in quest of something, and at once go away with it. Maud could
not fail to observe this, and its recurrence struck a chill to her
heart. She had not the courage to speak to her mother; a deadweight
of trouble, a restless spirit of apprehension, made her life one of
passive endurance; she feared to have the unnatural conditions of
their home openly recognised. Very often her thoughts turned to the
time when she had found refuge from herself in the daily occupation
of teaching, and, had she dared, she would gladly have gone away
once more as a governess. But she could not bring herself to propose
such a step. To do so would necessitate explanations, and that was
what she dreaded most of all. Whole days, with the exception of
meal-times, she spent in her own room, and there no one ever
disturbed her. Sometimes she read, but most often sat in prolonged
brooding, heedless of the hours.

Her father was now constantly away from home. He told her that he
travelled on business. It scarcely seemed to be a relief to him to
rest awhile in his chair; indeed, Paul had grown incapable of
resting. Time was deepening the lines of anxiety on his sallow face.
His mind seemed for ever racked with painful calculation. Mrs.
Enderby, too, spent much time away from the house, and Maud knew
nothing of her engagements. One thing, however, Maud could not help
noticing, and that was that her mother was clearly very extravagant
in her mode of living. New and costly dresses were constantly being
purchased, as well as articles of luxury for the house. Mrs. Enderby
had of late provided herself with a _femme de chambre_, a young
woman who arrayed herself with magnificence in her mistresses
castoff dresses, and whose appearance and demeanour had something
the reverse of domestic. Maud almost feared her. Then there was a
hired brougham constantly in use. Whenever Mrs. Enderby spent an
evening at home, company was sure to be entertained; noisy and showy
people filled the drawing-room, and remained till late hours. Maud
did not even see their faces, but the voices of one or two men and
women became only too familiar to her; even in the retirement of her
room she could not avoid hearing these voices, and they made her
shudder. Especially she was conscious of Mr. Rudge's presence; she
knew his very step on the stairs, and waited in feverish
apprehension for the first notes of an accompaniment on the piano,
which warned her that he was going to sing. He had a good voice, and
it was often in request. Sometimes the inexplicable dread of his
singing was more than she could bear; she would hurry on her
walking-attire, and, stealing like a shadow down the stairs, would
seek refuge in pacing about the streets of the neighbourhood,
heedless of weather or the hour.

Mrs. Enderby never came down to breakfast. One morning, when Paul
happened to be at home, he and Maud had finished that meal in
silence, and Maud was rising to leave the room, when her father
checked her. He leaned over the table towards her, and spoke in an
anxious undertone.

"Have you noticed anything a little--a little strange in your
mother lately, Maud? Anything in her way of speaking, I mean--her
general manner?"

The girl met his look, and shook her head. The approach to such a
conversation affected her as with a shock; she could not speak.

"She has very bad nights, you know," Paul went on, still in a tone
just above a whisper, "and of late she has been taking chloral. It's
against my wish, but the relief makes it an irresistible temptation.
I fear--I am afraid it is having some deleterious effect upon her;
she seemed to be a little--just a little delirious in the night, I
thought."

There was something horrible in his voice and face as he uttered
these words; he shuddered slightly, and his tongue seemed to labour
for utterance, as though he dreaded the sound of his own speech.

Maud sat unmoving and silent.

"I thought, also," Paul went on, "that she appeared a little strange
last evening, when the people were here.--You weren't in the
drawing-room?"

Maud shook her head again.

"Do you--do you think," he asked, "she is having too much
excitement? I know she needs a life of constant variety; it is
essential to her. I'm sure you understand that, Maud? You--you
don't misjudge her?"

"No, no; it is necessary to her," said the girl mechanically.

"But," her father pursued, with still lower voice, "there is always
the danger lest she should over-exert herself. Last night I--I
thought I noticed--but it was scarcely worth speaking of; I am so
easily alarmed, you know."

Maud tried to say something, but in vain.

"You--you won't desert her--quite--Maud?" said her father in a
tone of pleading. "I am obliged to be so muck away--God knows I
can't help it. And then I--I wonder whether you have noticed? I
seem to have little influence with her."

He stopped, but the next moment forced himself to utter what was in
his mind.

"Can't you help me a little more, Maud? Couldn't you induce her to
live a little more--more restfully at times?"

She rose, pushing the chair back behind her.

"Father, I can't!" she cried; then burst into a passion of tears.

"God help us!" her father breathed, rising and looking at her in
blank misery. But in a moment she had recovered herself. They faced
each other for an instant, but neither ventured to speak again, and
Maud turned and left him.

Waymark came as usual, but now he seldom saw Mrs. Enderby. Maud
received him alone. There was little that was lover-like in these
hours spent together. They kissed each other at meeting and parting,
but, with this exception, the manner of both was very slightly
different from what it had been before their engagement. They sat
apart, and talked of art, literature, religion, seldom of each
other. It had come to this by degrees; at first there had been more
warmth, but passion never. Waymark's self-consciousness often
weighed upon his tongue, and made his conversation but a string of
commonplaces; Maud was often silent for long intervals. Their eyes
never met in a steady gaze.

Waymark often asked himself whether Maud's was a passionless nature,
or whether it was possible that her reserve had the same origin as
his own. The latter he felt to be unlikely; sometimes there was a
pressure of her hands as their lips just touched, the indication, he
believed, of feeling held in restraint for uncertain reasons. She
welcomed him, too, with a look which he in vain endeavoured to
respond to--a look of sudden relief from weariness, of gentle
illumination; it smote him like a reproach. When the summer had set
in, he was glad to change the still room for the open air; they
walked frequently about Regent's Park, and lingered till after
sunset.

One evening, when it was dull and threatened rain, they returned to
the house sooner than usual. Waymark would have taken his leave at
the door, as he ordinarily did, but Maud begged him to enter, if
only for a few minutes. It was not quite nine o'clock, and Mrs.
Enderby was from home.

He seated himself, but Maud remained standing irresolutely. Waymark
glanced at her from under his eyebrows. He did not find it easy to
speak; they had both been silent since they left the park, with the
exception of the few words exchanged at the door.

"Will you let me sit here?" Maud asked suddenly, pushing a footstool
near to his chair, and kneeling upon it.

He smiled and nodded.

"When will they begin the printing?" she asked, referring to his
book, which was now in the hands of the publisher who had undertaken
it.

"Not for some months. It can't come out till the winter season."

"If it should succeed, it will make a great difference in your
position, won't it?"

"It might," he replied, looking away.

She sat with her eyes fixed on the ground. She wished to continue,
but something stayed her.

"I don't much count upon it," Waymark said, when he could no longer
endure the silence. "We mustn't base any hopes on that."

He rose; the need of changing his attitude seemed imperative.

"Must you go?" Maud asked, looking up at him with eyes which spoke
all that her voice failed to utter.

He moved his head affirmatively, and held out his hand to raise her.
She obeyed his summons, and stood up before him; her eyes had fixed
themselves upon his; he could not avoid their strange gaze.

"Good-bye," he said.

Her free hand rose to his shoulder, upon which it scarcely rested.
He could not escape her eyes, though to meet them tortured him. Her
lips were moving, but he could distinguish no syllable; they moved
again, and he could just gather the sense of her whisper.

"Do you love me?"

An immense pity thrilled through him. He put his arm about her, held
her closely, and pressed his lips against her cheek. She reddened,
and hid her face against him. Waymark touched her hair caressingly,
then freed his other hand, and went from the room.

Maud sat in thought till a loud ring at the door-bell made her start
and flee upstairs. The room in which she and Waymark sat when they
were by themselves was in no danger of invasion, but she feared the
possibility of meeting her mother to-night. Her father was away from
home, as usual, but the days of his return were always uncertain,
and Mrs. Enderby might perchance open the door of the little
sitting-room just to see whether he was there, as it was here he
ordinarily employed himself when in the house. From her bedroom Maud
could hear several people ascend the stairs. It was ten o'clock, but
an influx of visitors at such an hour was nothing remarkable. She
could hear her mother's laugh, and then the voice of a man, a voice
she knew but too well--that of Mr. Budge.

Her nerves were excited. The night was close, and there were
mutterings of thunder at times; the cloud whence they came seemed to
her to spread its doleful blackness over this one roof. An impulse
seized her; she took paper and sat down at her desk to write. It was
a letter to Waymark, a letter such as she had never addressed to
him, and which, even in writing it, she was conscious she could not
send. Her hand trembled as she filled the pages with burning words.
She panted for more than he had given her; this calm, half-brotherly
love of his was just now like a single drop of water to one dying of
thirst; she cried to him for a deeper draught of the joy of life.
The words came to her without need of thought; tears fell hot from
her eyes and blotted what she wrote.

The tears brought her relief; she was able to throw her writing
aside, and by degrees to resume that dull, vacant mood of habitual
suffering which at all events could be endured. From this, too,
there was at times a retreat possible with the help of a book. She
had no mind to sleep, and on looking round, she remembered that the
book she had been reading in the early part of the day was
downstairs. It was after midnight, and she seemed to have a
recollection of hearing the visitors leave the house a little while
ago; it would be safe to venture as far as the sitting-room below.

She began to descend the stairs quietly. There was still a light in
the hall, but the quietness of the house reassured her. On turning
an angle of the stairs, however, she saw that the door of the
drawing-room was open, and that just within stood two figures--her
mother and Mr. Rudge. They seemed to be whispering together, and in
the same moment their lips met. Then the man came out and went
downstairs. Mrs. Enderby turned back into the drawing-room.

Maud stood fixed to the spot. Darkness had closed in around her, and
she clung to the banisters to save herself from the gulf which
seemed to yawn before her feet. The ringing of a bell, the
drawing-room bell summoning Mrs. Enderby's maid, brought her back to
consciousness, and with trembling limbs she regained her room. It
was as though some ghastly vision of the night had shaken her soul.
The habit of her mind overwhelmed her with the conviction that she
knew at last the meaning of that mystery of horror which had of late
been strengthening its hold upon her imagination. The black cloud
which lowered above the house had indeed its significance; the
voices which wailed to her of sin and woe were the true expression
of things amid which she had been moving unconsciously. That
instinct which made her shrink from her mother's presence was not
without its justification; the dark powers which circled her
existence had not vainly forced their influence upon her. Her first
impulse was to flee from the house; the air breathed pestilence and
death, death of the soul. Looking about her in the anguish of
conflicting thoughts, her eyes fell upon the pages she had written.
These now came before her as a proof of contagion which had seized
upon her own nature; she tore the letter hastily into fragments,
and, striking fire with a match, consumed them in the grate. As she
watched the sparks go out, there came a rustling of dresses past her
door. She flung herself upon her knees and sought refuge in wild,
wordless prayer.

A fortnight after this Maud went late in the evening to the room
where she knew her father was sitting alone. Paul Enderby looked up
from his papers in surprise; it was some time since Maud had sought
private conversation with him. As he met her pale, resolute face, he
knew that she had a serious purpose in thus visiting him, and his
look changed to one of nervous anticipation.

"Do I disturb you, father?" Maud asked. "Could you spare me a few
minutes?"

Paul nodded, and she took a seat near him.

"Father, I am going to leave home, going to be a governess again."

He drew a sigh of relief; he had expected something worse than this.
Yet the relief was only for a moment, and then he looked at her with
eyes which made her soul fail for very compassion.

"You will desert me, Maud?" he asked, trying to convey in his look
that which he could not utter in words.

"Father, I can be of no help, and I feel that I must not remain
here."

"Have you found a place?"

"This afternoon I engaged myself to go to Paris with a French
family. They have been in England some time, and want to take back
an English governess for their children."

Paul was silent.

"I leave the day after to-morrow," she added; at first she had
feared to say how soon she was to go.

"You are right," her father said, shifting some papers about with a
tremulous hand. "You are right to leave us. You at least will be
safe."

"Safe?" she asked, under her breath.

He looked at her in the same despairing way, but said nothing.

"Father," she began, her lips quivering in the intensity of her
inward struggle, "can you not go away from here? Can you not take
mother away?"

They gazed at each other, each trying to divine what it was that
made the other so pale. Did her father know?--Maud asked herself.
Did Maud know something more than he himself?--was the doubt in
Paul's mind. But they were thinking of different things.

"I can't, I can't!" the wretched man exclaimed, spreading out his
arms on the desk. "Perhaps in a few months--but I doubt. I can do
nothing now; I am helpless; I am not my own master. O God, if I
could but go and leave it all behind me!"

Maud could only guess at the meaning of this. He had already hinted
to her of business troubles which were crushing him. But this was a
matter of no moment in her sight. There was something more terrible,
and she could not force her tongue to speak of it.

"You fear for her?" Paul went on. "You have noticed her
strangeness?" He lowered his voice. "What can I do, Maud?"

"You are so much away," she said hurriedly, laying her hand on his
arm. "Her visitors--she has so many temptations--"

"Temptations?"

"Father, help her against herself!"

"My help is vain. There is a curse on her life, and on mine. I can
only stand by and wait for the worst."

She could not speak. It was her duty, clearly her imperative duty,
yet she durst not fulfil it. She had come down from her room with
the fixed purpose, attained after nights of sleepless struggle, of
telling him what she had seen. She found herself alone again, the
task unfulfilled. And she knew that she could not face him again.





CHAPTER XXXIII

A GARDEN-PARTY




Waymark received with astonishment Maud's letter from Paris. He had
seen her only two days before, and their conversation had been of
the ordinary kind; Maud had given him no hint of her purpose, not
even when he spoke to her of the coming holiday season, and the
necessity of her having a change. She confessed she was not well.
Sometimes, when they had both sat for some minutes in silence, she
would raise her eyes and meet his gaze steadily, seeming to search
for something. Waymark could not face this look; it drove him to
break the suspense by any kind of remark on an indifferent subject.
He remembered now that she had gazed at him in that way persistently
on the last evening that they were together. When he was saying
good-bye, and as he bent to kiss her, she held him back for a
moment, and seemed to wish to say something. Doubtless she had been
on the point of telling him that she was going away; but she let him
leave in silence.

It was not a long letter that she wrote; she merely said that change
had become indispensable to body and soul, and that it had seemed
best to make it suddenly.

"I hope," she wrote in conclusion, "that you will see my father as
often as you can; he is very much in need of friendly company, and I
should like you to be able to send me news of him. Do not fear for
me; I feel already better. I am always with you in spirit, and in
the spirit I love you; God help me to keep my love pure!"

Waymark put away the letter carelessly; the first sensation of
surprise over, he did not even care to speculate on the reasons
which had led Maud to leave home. It was but seldom now that his
thoughts busied themselves with Maud; the unreal importance which
she had for a time assumed in his life was only a recollection; her
very face was ghostlike in his mind's eye, dim, always vanishing. If
the news of her departure from England moved him at all, it was with
a slight sense of satisfaction; it would be so much easier to write
letters to her than to speak face to face. Yet, in the days that
followed, the ghostlike countenance hovered more persistently before
him than was its wont; there was a far-off pleading in its look, and
sometimes that shadow of reproach which our uneasy conscience will
cast upon the faces of those we have wronged. This passed, however,
and another image, one which had ever grown in clearness and
persistency of presentment in proportion as Maud's faded away,
glided before him in the hours of summer sunlight, and shone forth
with the beauty of a rising star against the clouded heaven of his
dreams.

Waymark's mood was bitter, but, in spite of himself, it was no
longer cynical. He could not indulge himself in that pessimistic
scepticism which had aided him in bearing his poverty, and the
restless craving of sense and spirit which had accompanied it. His
enthusiasm for art was falling away; as a faith it had failed him in
his hour of need. In its stead another faith had come to him, a
faith which he felt to be all-powerful, and the sole stay of a man's
life amid the shifting shadows of intellectual creeds. And it had
been revealed too late. Led by perverse motives, now no longer
intelligible, he had reached a goal of mere frustration; between him
and the true end of his being there was a great gulf fixed.

To Ida, in the meanwhile, these weeks of early summer were bringing
health of body and cheerfulness of mind. She spent very much of her
time in the open air. Whenever it was possible she and Miss Hurst
took their books out into the garden, and let the shadows of the
rose-bushes mark the hours for them. Ida's natural vigour throve on
the strength-giving properties of sun and breeze the last traces of
unwholesome pallor passed from her face, and exercise sent her home
flushed like the dawn.

One afternoon she went to sit with her grandfather on a bench
beneath an apple-tree. The old man had his pipe and a newspaper. Ida
was quiet, and glancing at her presently, Abraham found her eyes
fixed upon him.

"Grandfather," she said, in her gentlest voice, "will you let me
give a garden-party some day next week?"

"A party?" Mr. Woodstock raised his brows in astonishment. "Who are
you going to invite?"

"You'll think it a strange notion.--I wonder whether I can make it
seem as delightful to you as it does to me. Suppose we went to those
houses of yours, and got together as many poor little girls as we
could, and brought them all here to spend an afternoon in the
garden. Think what an unheard-of thing it would be to them! And then
we would give them some tea, and take them back again before dark."

The proposal filled Mr. Woodstock with dismay, and the habitual
hardness of his face suggested a displeasure he did not in reality
feel.

"As you say, it's a strange notion," he remarked, smiling very
slightly. "I don't know why you shouldn't have your own way, Ida,
but--it'll cost you a good deal of trouble, you know."

"You are mistaking me, grandfather. You think this a curious whim I
have got into my head, and your kindness would tempt you to let me
do a silly thing just for the sake of having my way. It is no
foolish fancy. It's not for my sake, but for the children's."

Her eyes were aglow with earnestness, and her voice trembled.

"Do you think they'd care for it?" asked her grandfather, impressed
by something in her which he had never seen before.

"Care for it!--Imagine a poor little thing that has been born in a
wretched, poverty-stricken, disorderly home, a home that is no home,
and growing up with no knowledge of anything but those four hateful
walls and the street outside. No toys, no treats, no change of air;
playing in the gutter, never seeing a beautiful thing, never hearing
of the pleasures which rich people's children would pine and die
without And a child for all that."

Mr. Woodstock cleared his throat and smoothed the newspaper upon his
knee.

"How will you get them here, Ida?"

"Oh, leave that to me! Let us choose a day; wouldn't Saturday be
best! I will go there myself, and pick out the children, and get
their mothers to promise to have them ready. Then I'll arrange to
have one of those carts you see at Sunday-school treats. Why, the
ride here, that alone! And you'll let me have tea for them,--just
bread and butter and a bun,--it will cost not half as much as my
new dress this week, not _half_ as much--"

"Come, come, I can't stand this!" growled out Abraham, getting up
from the seat. "I'd _give_ them the garden, for good and all, rather
than see you like that. Say Saturday, if it's fine; if not, Monday,
or when you like."

On the following morning the details were arranged, and the next day
Ida went to Litany Lane. She preferred to go alone, and on this
errand Mr. Woodstock would have found a difficulty in accompanying
her. Ida knew exactly the nature of the task she had taken in hand,
and found it easier than it would have been to the ordinary young
lady. She jotted down the names of some twenty little girls,
selecting such as were between the ages of eight and twelve, and
obtained promises that all should be ready at a fixed hour next
Saturday. She met with doubts and objections and difficulties
enough, but only failed in one or two instances. Then followed fresh
talks with her grandfather, and all the details were arranged.

There was rain on the Thursday and Friday, but when Ida drew up her
blind at six o'clock on Saturday morning, the sky gave promise of
good things. She was walking in the garden long before
breakfast-time, and gladdened to rapture as she watched the sun gain
power, till it streamed gloriously athwart cloudless blue. By one
o'clock she was at the end of Litany Lane, where the cart with long
seats was already waiting; its arrival had become known to the
little ones, and very few needed summoning. Of course there were
disappointments now and again. In spite of mothers' promises, half
the children had their usual dirty faces, and showed no sign of any
preparation. Five or six of them had nothing to put on their heads;
two had bare feet. It was too late to see to these things now; as
they were, the children clambered, or were lifted, on to the cart,
and Ida took her seat among them. Then a crack of the driver's whip,
and amid the shouts of envious brothers and sisters, and before the
wondering stare of the rest of the population, off they drove away.

"Who'd like an apple?" Ida asked, as soon as they were well clear of
the narrow streets. There was a general scream of delight, and from
a hamper by her side she brought out apples and distributed them.
Only for a minute or two had there been anything like shyness in
Ida's presence; she knew how to talk and behave to these poor little
waifs. Her eyes filled with tears as she listened to their chatter
among themselves, and recognised so many a fragment of her own past
life. One child, who sat close by her, had been spending the morning
in washing vegetables for the Saturday-night market. Did not that
call to mind something?--so far off; so far, yet nearer to her
than many things which had intervened. How they all laughed, as the
big, black houses gave way to brighter streets, and these again
began to open upon glimpses of field or garden! Not one of them had
the slightest conception of whither they were being taken, or what
was to happen to them at length. But they had confidence in "the
lady." She was a sorceress in their eyes; what limit could there be
to her powers? Something good and joyous awaited them; that was all
they knew or cared; leagues of happiness, stretching away to the
remote limits of the day's glory; a present rapture beyond
knowledge, and a memory for ever.

Mr. Woodstock stood within the gate of the garden, his hands in his
pockets, and as the vehicle came in sight he drew just a little
back.

They streamed along the carriage-drive, and in a minute or two were
all clustered upon the lawn behind the house. What was expected of
them? Had an angel taken them by he hand and led them straight from
Litany Lane through the portals of paradise, they could not have
been more awed and bewildered. Trees and rose-bushes, turf and beds
of flowers, seats in the shade, skipping-ropes thrown about on the
open--and there, hark, a hand-organ, a better one than ever they
danced to on the pavement, striking up to make them merry. That was
the happiest thought! It was something not too unfamiliar; the one
joyful thing of which they had experience meeting them here to
smooth over the first introduction to a new world. Ida knew it well,
the effect of that organ; had it not lightened her heart many and
many a time in the by-gone darkness? Two of the girls had caught
each other by the waist at the first sounds. Might they? Would "the
lady" like it?

Miss Hurst had come out as soon as the music began, and Ida ran to
talk with her. There was whispering between them, and pointing to
one and another of the children, and then the governess, with a
pleased face, disappeared again. She was away some time, but on her
return two of the children were called into the house. Bare-footed
they went in, but came forth again with shoes and stockings on,
hardly able to comprehend what had happened to them. Then were
summoned those who had nothing on their heads, and to each of these
a straw hat was given, a less wonderful possession than the shoes
and stockings, but a source of gladness and pride.

In the meantime, however, marvels had accumulated on the lawn.
Whilst yet the organ was playing, there appeared two men, one of
them carrying a big drum, the other hidden under a Punch and Judy
show. Of a sudden there sounded a shrill note, high above the organ,
a fluting from the bottom to the top of the gamut, the immemorial
summons to children, the overture to the primitive drama. It was
drowned in a scream of welcome, which, in its turn, was outdone by
thunderous peals upon the drum.

Mr. Woodstock said little during the whole afternoon. Perhaps he
thought the more.

Tables had been fixed in one part of the garden, and as the drama of
Punch drew to an end, its interest found a serious rival in the
spectacle of piled plates of cake. But there was to intervene nearly
half-an-hour before the tea-urns were ready to make an appearance.
The skipping-ropes came into requisition outside, but in the house
was proceeding simultaneously a rather more serious pastime, which
fell to Ida's share to carry out. Choosing the little girl whose
face was the dirtiest and hair the untidiest of any she could see,
she led her gently away to a place where a good bowl of warm water
and plenty of soap were at hand, and, with the air of bestowing the
greatest kindness of all, fell to work to such purpose that in a few
minutes the child went back to the garden a resplendent being,
positively clean and kempt for the first time in her life.

"I know you'll feel uncomfortable for a little, dear," Ida said,
dismissing the astonished maiden with a kiss, "but the strangeness
will wear off; and you'll see how much nicer it is."

One after another, all were dealt with in this way, presently with a
good-natured servant-girl's assistance, as time pressed. The result
was that a transformed company sat down to tea. The feeling wore
off, as Ida said, but at first cleanliness meant positive
discomfort, taking the form of loss of identity and difficulty of
mutual recognition. They looked at their hands, and were amazed at
the whiteness that had come upon them; they kept feeling their faces
and their ordered hair. But the appetite of one and all was improved
by the process.

"How I wish Mr. Waymark was here!" Ida said to her grandfather, as
they stood together, watching the feast. "He would enjoy it. We must
give him a full account to-morrow, mustn't we?"

"I forgot," replied the other. "I had a note from him this morning,
saying he thought he shouldn't be able to come."

The first shadow of disappointment which this day had brought fell
upon the girl's countenance. She made no reply, and presently went
to help one or the youngest children, who had spilt her tea and was
in evident distress.

After tea the organ struck up again, and again there was dancing on
the lawn. Then a gathering of flowers by Ida and Miss Hurst, and one
given to each of the children, with injunctions to put it in water
on reaching home, and keep it as long as possible in memory of the
day. Already the sun was westering, and Litany Lane must be reached
before dusk.

"Poor children!" Ida sighed to herself. "If they had but homes to go
to!" And added, in her thought, "We shall see, we shall see!"

Every bit as joyous as the ride out was the return to town. With
foresight, Ida made the two youngest sit on each side of her; soon
the little heads were drooping in her lap, subdued by the very
weariness of bliss. Miss Hurst had offered to accompany Ida, that
she might not have to come back alone, but Ida wanted her friends
all to herself, and was rewarded by the familiarity with which they
gossipped to her all the way.

"Hands up, all those who _haven't_ enjoyed themselves!" she
exclaimed, just as they were entering the noisy streets.

There was a moment's doubt, then a burst of merry laughter.

"Hands up, all those who would like to come again!"

All held up both arms--except the two children who were asleep.

"Well, you've all been good, and I'm very pleased with you, and you
_shall_ come again!"

It was the culmination of the day's delight. For the first time in
their lives the children of Litany Lane and Elm Court had something
to look forward to.





CHAPTER XXXIV

A LATE REVENGE




Ida clung to the possibility of Waymark's paying his usual visit on
the Sunday, but she was disappointed. This absence had no reason
beyond Waymark's choice. It was the last Sunday but one of the
month; a week more, and he must keep his word with Mr. Woodstock.
The evil day had been put off, and to what purpose? There had been
some scarcely confessed hope. Maud's sudden departure from England,
and her strange letter, might perhaps mean a change in her which
would bring about his freedom; he himself might possibly be driven
by his wretchedness to the point of writing to her in a way which
would hasten her decision, if indeed she were doubting.

All was over between Ida and himself, so why undergo the torment of
still seeing her. In sending his note to Mr. Woodstock, he was on
the point of surrendering the week that remained, and begging that
Ida might be told at once, but his hand refused to write the words.
Through the week that ensued he had no moment's rest. At night he
went to places of amusement, to seek distraction; he wished and
dreaded the coming of the Sunday. How would Ida receive the
revelation? Should he write to her and try to make her understand
him? Yet in that he could scarcely succeed, and failure would bring
upon him her contempt. The only safety lay in never seeing or
communicating with her again.

Even on Saturday night he had not made up his mind how to act. He
went to the theatre, but left before the play was half over, and
walked slowly homewards. As he drew near to his lodgings, some one
hastened towards him with both hands held out. It was Maud Enderby.

"Oh, I have waited so long! I wanted to see you to-night." She was
exhausted with fatigue and distress, and still held his hands, as if
needing their support. To Waymark, in his then state of mind, she
came like an apparition. He could only look at her in astonishment.

"Last night," she said, "I had a telegram from father. He told me to
come back at once; he had had to leave, and mother was alone. I was
to call for a letter at a place in the city. I was in time to catch
the night boat, and when I got his letter it told me dreadful
things. Something has happened which compelled him to leave England
at once. He could do nothing, make no arrangements. Mother, he said,
had a little money; we must sell everything and manage to live
somewhere for a little; he would try to send us what he could. Then
I went home. There was a police-officer in the house, and mother had
gone away, I can't tell where. Father has done something, and--
Oh, what shall I do? You can help me, can't you?"

Waymark, whom this news overwhelmed with blank despair, could at
first say nothing; but the very greatness of the blow gradually
produced in him the strength to bear it. He saw that fate had taken
the future out of his hands; there was no longer even the appearance
of choice. To Maud he must now devote himself, aiding her with all
his strength in the present and through the days to come.

"Shall I go back home with you?" he asked, pressing her hands to
comfort her, and speaking with the calmness of one who had made up
his mind.

"Yes; perhaps mother will have returned. But what shall we do? What
will happen to father? Do you know anything of all this?"

"Nothing whatever. Walk with me to the top of the street, and we
will take a cab."

She hung upon his arm, trembling violently; and during the drive to
Paddington, she lay back with her eyes closed, holding Waymark's
hands in her own, which burned with fever. On alighting, they found
that Mrs. Enderby had indeed returned; the servant told them so, and
at the same time whispered something to Maud. They went up into the
drawing-room, and there found Mrs. Enderby lying upon the couch. She
could not understand when she was spoken to, but nodded her head and
looked at them with large, woebegone, wandering eyes. Every effort
to rouse her was vain.

It was a dreadful night.

The early dawn was in the sky when Waymark reached Beaufort Street.
With no thought of sleep, he sat down at once and wrote to Mr.
Woodstock, relating what had happened. "So, you see," he concluded,
"with the end of July has come the decision of my fate, as we agreed
it should. If I had seen you to-morrow, as I proposed, I know not
what folly I might have been guilty of. Tell Ida everything at once;
I shall never see her again. But do you, if you can, he my friend
still. I need your help in this horrible situation. Meet me--will
you?--at the office to-morrow night, say at eight o'clock."

This letter would reach Tottenham on Monday morning. Waymark went to
the office at the hour he had mentioned, and waited till ten
o'clock. But Mr. Woodstock had not been in St. John Street Road that
day, and the waiting was in vain.

The garden-party had not been without its effect upon Mr. Woodstock.
On the following day, when he was sitting again with Ida in the
garden, he recurred to the conversation of a week ago, and seemed
desirous of leading the girl to speak freely on the subjects which
had such power to stir her. Ida had been waiting for this; she
rejoiced at the promise it held out, and unburdened her heart. Would
he not do yet more for the poor people in his houses I could not
their homes in some way be made more fit for human beings? With
careful observation of his mood, she led him on to entertain
thoughts he had never dreamt of, and before they parted she had all
but obtained a promise that he would go over the whole of his
property and really see what could be done. Ida's influence over him
had by this time become very great; the old man was ready to do much
for the sake of pleasing her.

On the following Tuesday he went down into Litany Lane in company
with a builder, and proceeded to investigate each of the houses. In
many instances the repairs, to be of any use, would have to be
considerable; there would be a difficulty in executing them whilst
the tenants remained in possession. One possibility occurred to him
in the course of examination, and he determined to make use of it;
he would create room by getting rid of the worst tenants, all those,
in fact, whose presence was pollution to the neighbourhood, and whom
it was hopeless to think of reforming. In this way he would be able
to shift about the remaining lodgers without too great a loss to
himself, and avoid the necessity of turning helpless people into the
street.

Mr. Woodstock had considerably more knowledge of the state of his
property, and of the tenants inhabiting it, than is usual with
landlords of his kind; for all that, the present examination brought
to light not a few things which were startling even to him. Since
Waymark had ceased to act as his collector, the office had been
filled by an agent of the ordinary kind, and Mr. Woodstock had, till
just now, taken less interest in the property than formerly. Things
had got worse on the whole. Whereas Waymark had here and there been
successful in suppressing the grosser forms of uncleanliness by
threats of expulsion, and at times by the actual enforcement of his
threat, no such supervision had of late been exercised. There were
very few houses in which the air was at all tolerable; in many
instances the vilest odours hung about the open door-ways. To pass
out of Elm Court into the wider streets around was like a change to
the freshness of woods and fields. And the sources of this miasma
were only too obvious.

The larger houses which made up Litany Lane had underground cellars;
in the court there were fortunately no such retreats. On entering
one of these former houses, the two were aware of an especially
offensive odour rising from below the stairs. Pursuing, however,
their plan of beginning at the garrets, they went up together. In
the room at the top they came upon a miserable spectacle. On
something which, for want of another name, was probably called a
bed, there lay a woman either already dead or in a state of coma,
and on the floor sat two very young children, amusing themselves
with a dead kitten, their only toy. Mr. Woodstock bent over the
woman and examined her. He found that she was breathing, though in a
slow and scarcely perceptible way; her eyes were open, but expressed
no consciousness. The slightly-parted lips were almost black, and
here and there on her face there seemed to be a kind of rash. Mr.
Woodstock's companion, after taking one glance, drew hastily back.

"Looks like small-pox," he said, in an alarmed voice. "I wouldn't
stand so near, sir, if I was you."

"Isn't there any one to look to her?" said Abraham. Then turning to
one of the children, "Where's your father?" he asked.

"Dono," was the little fellow's indifferent reply.

"Are you alone?"

"Dono."

They went down to the floor below, and there found a woman standing
at her door.

"What's the matter with her up there?" asked Mr. Woodstock.

"She's very bad, sir. Her Susan's gone to get a order for the parish
doctor, I b'lieve. I was just a-goin' to look after the children
when you came up. I've only just come 'ome myself, you see."

"What's that horrible stench down below?"

"I didn't notice nothink, sir," said the woman, looking over the
banisters as if the odour might be seen.

"Any one living in the kitchen?"

"There _was_ some one, I b'lieve, sir, but I don't exac'ly know if
they's there yet."

Presently they reached the region below. In absolute darkness they
descended steps which were covered with a sort of slime, and then,
by striking a light, found themselves in front of a closed door.
Opening this, they entered a vile hole where it could scarcely be
said to be daylight, so thickly was the little window patched with
filth. Groping about in the stifling atmosphere, they discovered in
one corner a mass of indescribable matter, from which arose,
seemingly, the worst of the effluvia.

"What is it?" asked Mr. Woodstock, holding a lighted match.

"Rotten fish, it seems to me," said the other, holding his nose.

Abraham turned away; then, as if his eye had suddenly caught
something, strode to another corner. There lay the body of a dead
child, all but naked, upon a piece of sacking.

"We'd better get out of this, sir," said the builder. "We shall be
poisoned. Wonder they haven't the plague here."

"Seems to me they have," returned Mr. Woodstock.

They went out into the street, and hailed the first policeman in
sight. Then, giving up his investigations for that morning, Mr.
Woodstock repaired to the police-station, and after a good deal of
trouble, succeeded in getting the attendance of a medical man, with
the result that the woman they had seen up in the garret was found
to be in truth dying of small-pox. If the contagion spread, as
probably it had by this time begun to, there would be a pleasant
state of things in Litany Lane.

In the evening, before going home, Abraham had a bath. He was not a
nervous man, but the possibilities of the risk he had run were not
agreeable to contemplate. Two or three days went by without any
alarming symptoms, but as he learnt that another case of small-pox
had declared itself in the Lane, he postponed his personal activity
there for the present, and remained a good deal at home. On the
Sunday morning--when Waymark's letter had already been posted--
he awoke with a headache, continued from the night before. It grew
worse during the day, and he went to bed early with a dull pain
across the forehead, which prevented him from sleeping. On the
following morning the headache still remained; he felt a
disinclination to rise, and now, for the first time, began to be
troubled with vague fears, which blended themselves with his various
pre-occupations in a confusing way. The letter which arrived from
Waymark was taken up to him. It caused him extreme irritation, which
was followed by uneasy dozing, the pain across his forehead growing
worse the while. A doctor was summoned.

The same day Ida and Miss Hurst left the house, to occupy lodgings
hard by; it was done at Mr. Woodstock's peremptory bidding. Ida at
once wrote to Waymark, begging him to come; he arrived early next
morning, and learnt the state of things.

"The doctor tells me," said Ida, "there is a case in Litany Lane. It
is very cruel. Grandfather went to make arrangements for having the
houses repaired."

"There I recognise your hand," Waymark observed, as she made a
pause.

"Why have you so deserted us?" Ida asked. "Why do we see you so
seldom?"

"It is so late every evening before I leave the library, and I am
busy with all sorts of things."

They had little to say to each other, Waymark promised to
communicate at once with a friend of Mr. Woodstock's, a man of
business, and to come again as soon as possible, to give any help he
could. Whether Ida had been told of his position remained uncertain.

For Ida they were sad, long days. Troubles which she had previously
managed to keep in the background now again beset her. She had
attached herself to her grandfather; gratitude for all that he was
doing at her wish strengthened her affection, and she awaited each
new day with fear. Waymark seemed colder to her in these days than
he had ever been formerly. The occasion ought, she felt, to have
brought them nearer together; but on his side there appeared to be
no such feeling. The time hung very heavily on her hands. She tried
to go on with her studies, but it was a mere pretence.

Soon, she learnt that there was no hope; the sick man had sunk into
a state of unconsciousness from which he would probably not awake.
She haunted the neighbourhood of the house, or, in her lodging, sat
like one who waits, and the waiting was for she knew not what. There
was once more to be a great change in her life, but of what kind she
could not foresee. She wished her suffering had been more acute; her
only relative was dying, yet no tear would come to her eyes; it was
heartless, and to weep would have brought relief to her. She could
only sit and wait.

When Waymark came, on the evening of the next day, he heard that all
was over. Ida saw him, but only for a few minutes. In going away, he
paused by the gates of the silent house.

"The slums have avenged themselves," he said to himself sadly,
"though late."





CHAPTER XXXV

HOUSE-WARMING




On a Sunday afternoon in October, when Abraham Woodstock had lain in
his grave for three months, Waymark met Julian Casti by appointment
in Sloane Square, and they set forth together on a journey to
Peckham. They were going thither by invitation, and, to judge from
the laughter which accompanied their talk, their visit was likely to
afford them entertainment. The merriment on Julian's side was not
very natural; he looked indeed too ill to enjoy mirth of any kind.
As they stood in the Square, waiting for an omnibus, he kept
glancing uneasily about him, especially in the direction whence they
had come. It had the appearance of a habit, but before they had
stood much more than a minute, he started and exclaimed in a low
voice to his companion--

"I told you so. She is just behind there. She has come round by the
back streets, just to see if I'd told her the truth."

Waymark glanced back and shrugged his shoulders.

"Pooh! Never mind," he said. "You're used to it."

"Used to it! Yes," Julian returned, his face flushing suddenly a
deep red, the effect of extraordinary excitement; "and it is driving
me mad."

Then, after a fit of coughing--

"She found my poem last night, and burnt it."

"Burnt it?"

"Yes; simply because she could not understand it. She said she
thought it was waste paper, but I saw, I saw."

The 'bus they waited for came up, and they went on their way. On
reaching the neighbourhood of Peckham, they struck off through a
complex of small new streets, apparently familiar to Waymark, and
came at length to a little shop, also very new, the windows of which
displayed a fresh-looking assortment of miscellaneous goods. There
was half a large cheese, marked by the incisions of the
tasting-knife; a boiled ham, garlanded; a cone of brawn; a truncated
pyramid of spiced beef, released from its American tin; also German
sausage and other dainties of the kind. Then there were canisters of
tea and coffee, tins of mustard, a basket of eggs, some onions,
boxes of baking-powder and of blacking; all arranged so as to make
an impression on the passers-by; everything clean and bright. Above
the window stood in imposing gilt letters the name of the
proprietor: O'Gree.

They entered. The shop was very small and did not contain much
stock. The new shelves showed a row of biscuit-tins, but little
else, and from the ceiling hung balls of string. On the counter lay
an inviting round of boiled beef. Odours of provisions and of fresh
paint were strong in the air. Every thing gleamed from resent
scrubbing and polishing; the floor only emphasised its purity by a
little track where a child's shoes had brought in mud from the
street; doubtless it had been washed over since the Sunday morning's
custom had subsided. Wherever the walls would have confessed their
bareness the enterprising tradesman had hung gorgeous advertising
cards. At the sound of the visitors' footsteps, the door leading out
of the shop into the parlour behind opened briskly, a head having
previously appeared over the red curtain, and Mr. O'Gree, in the
glory of Sunday attire, rushed forward with eager hands. His welcome
was obstreperous.

"Waymark, you're a brick! Mr. Casti, I'm rejoiced to receive you in
my establishment! You're neither a minute too soon nor a minute too
late. Mrs. O'Gree only this moment called out from the kitchen that
the kettle was boiling and the crumpets at the point of perfection!
I knew your punctuality of old, Waymark. Mr. Casti, how does it
strike you? Roaring trade, Waymark! Done two shillings and
threepence three farthings this Sunday morning. Look here, me boy,
--ho, ho!"

He drew out the till behind the counter, and jingled his hand in
coppers. Then he rushed about in the wildest fervour from object to
object, opening tins which he had forgotten were empty, making
passes at the beef and the ham with a formidable carving-knife,
demonstrating the use of a sugar-chopper and a coffee-grinder, and,
lastly, calling attention with infinite glee to a bad halfpenny
which he had detected on the previous afternoon, and had forthwith
nailed down to the counter, _in terrorem_. Then he lifted with much
solemnity a hinged portion of the counter, and requested his
visitors to pass into the back-parlour. Here there was the same
perfect cleanliness, though the furniture was scant and very simple.
The round table was laid for tea, with a spotless cloth, plates of a
very demonstrative pattern, and knives and forks which seemed only
just to have left the ironmonger's shop.

"We pass, you observe, Mr. Casti," cried the ex-teacher, "from the
region of commerce to that of domestic intimacy. Here Mrs. O'Gree
reigns supreme, as indeed she does in the other department, as far
as presiding genius goes. She's in all places at once, like a
birrud! Mr. Casti," in a whisper, "I shall have the pleasure of
introducing you to one of the most remarkable women it was ever your
lot to meet; a phenomenon of--"

The inner door opened, and the lady herself interrupted these
eulogies. Sally was charming. Her trim little body attired in the
trimmest of homely dresses, her sharp little face shining and just a
little red with excitement, her quick movements, her laughing eyes,
her restless hands graced with the new wedding-ring--all made up a
picture of which her husband might well be proud. He stood and gazed
at her in frank admiration; only when she sprang forward to shake
hands with Waymark did he recover himself sufficiently to go through
the ceremony of introducing Julian. It was done with all
stateliness.

"An improvement this on the masters' room, eh, Waymark?" cried Mr.
O'Gree. Then, suddenly interrupting him self, "And that reminds me!
We've got a lodger."

"Already?"

"And who d'ye think? Who d'ye think? You wouldn't guess if you went
on till Christmas. Ho, ho, ho! I'm hanged if I tell you. Wait and
see!"

"Shall I call him down?" asked Sally, who in the meantime had
brought in the tea-pot, and the crumpets, and a dish of slices from
the round of beef on the counter, and boiled eggs, and sundry other
dainties.

O'Gree, unable to speak for mirth, nodded his head, and presently
Sally returned, followed by--Mr. Egger. Waymark scarcely
recognised his old friend, so much had the latter changed: instead
of the old woe-begone look, Egger's face wore a joyous smile, and
his outer man was so vastly improved that he had evidently fallen on
a more lucrative profession. Waymark remembered O'Gree's chance
meeting with the Swiss, but had heard nothing of him since; nor
indeed had O'Gree till a day or two ago.

"How do things go?" Waymark inquired heartily. "Found a better
school?"

"No, no, my friend," returned Egger, in his very bad English. "At
the school I made my possible; I did till I could no more. I have
made like Mr. O'Gree; it is to say, quite a change in my life. I am
waiter at a restaurant. And see me; am I not the better quite? No
fear!" This cockneyism came in with comical effect. "I have enough
to eat and to drink, and money in my pocket. The school may go to ----"

O'Gree coughed violently to cover the last word, and looked
reproachfully at his old colleague. Poor Egger, who had been carried
away by his joyous fervour, was abashed, and glanced timidly at
Sally, who replied by giving him half a dozen thick rounds of German
sausage. On his requesting mustard, she fetched some from the shop
and mixed it, but, in doing so, had the misfortune to pour too much
water.

"There!" she exclaimed; "I've doubted the miller's eye."

O'Gree laughed when he saw Waymark looking for an explanation.

"That's a piece of Weymouth," he remarked. "Mrs. O'Gree comes from
the south-west of England," he added, leaning towards Casti. "She's
constantly teaching me new and interesting things. Now, if I was to
spill the salt here--"

He put his Ii and on the salt-cellar, as if to do so, but Sally
rapped his knuckles with a fork.

"None of your nonsense, sir! Give Mr. Casti some more meat,
instead."

It was a merry party. The noise of talk grew so loud that it was
only the keenness of habitual attention on Sally's part which
enabled her to observe that a customer was knocking on the counter.
She darted out, but returned with a disappointed look on her face.

"Pickles?" asked her husband, frowning.

Sally nodded.

"Now, look here, Waymark," cried O'Gree, rising in indignation from
his seat. "Look here, Mr. Casti. The one drop of bitterness in our
cup is--pickles; the one thing that threatens to poison our
happiness is--pickles. We're always being asked for pickles; just
as if the people knew about it, and came on purpose!"

"Knew About what?" asked Waymark, in astonishment.

"Why, that we mayn't sell 'em! A few doors off there's a scoundrel
of a grocer. Now, his landlord's the same as ours, and when we took
this shop there was one condition attached. Because the grocer sells
pickles, and makes a good thing of them, we had to undertake that,
in that branch of commerce, we wouldn't compete with him. Pickles
are forbidden."

Waymark burst into a most unsympathetic roar of laughter, but with
O'Gree the grievance was evidently a serious one, and it was some
few moments before he recovered his equanimity. Indeed it was not
quite restored till the entrance of another customer, who purchased
two ounces of butter. When, in the dead silence which ensued, Sally
was heard weighing out the order, O'Gree's face beamed; and when
there followed the chink of coins in the till, he brought his fist
down with a triumphant crash upon the table.

When tea was over, O'Gree managed to get Waymark apart from the
rest, and showed him a small photograph of Sally which had recently
been taken.

"Sally's great ambition," he whispered, "is to be taken
cabinet-size, and in a snow-storm. You've seen the kind of thing in
the shop-windows? We'll manage that before long, but this will do
for the present. You don't see a face like that every day; eh,
Waymark?"

Sally, her housewifery duly accomplished in the invisible regions,
came back and sat by the fireside. She had exchanged her work-a-day
costume for one rather more ornate. Noticeable was a delicate gold
chain which hung about her neck, and Waymark smiled when he
presently saw her take out her watch and seem to compare its time
with that of the clock on the mantelpiece. It was a wedding present
from Ida.

Sally caught the smile, and almost immediately came over to a seat
by Waymark; and, whilst the others were engaged in loud talk, spoke
with him privately.

"Have you seen her lately?" she asked.

"Not for some weeks," the other replied, shaking his head.

"Well, it's the queerest thing I ever knew, s'nough! But, there,"
she added, with an arch glance, "some men are that stupid--"

Waymark laughed slightly, and again shook his head.

"All a mistake," he said.

"Yes, that's just what it is, you may depend upon it. I more'n half
believe you're telling fibs."

Tumblers of whisky were soon smoking on the table, and all except
Casti laughed and talked to their heart's content. Casti was no
kill-joy; he smiled at all that went on, now and then putting in a
friendly word; but the vitality of the others was lacking in him,
and the weight which crushed him night and day could not so easily
be thrown aside. O'Gree was abundant in reminiscences of academic
days, and it would not have been easy to resist altogether the
comical vigour of his stories, all without one touch of real
bitterness or malice.

"Bedad," he cried, "I sent old Pendy a business prospectus, with my
compliments written on the bottom of it. I thought he might perhaps
be disposed to give me a contract for victualling the Academy. I
wish he had, for the boys' sake."

Then, to bring back completely the old times, Mr. Egger was
prevailed upon to sing one of his _Volkslieder_, that which had been
Waymark's especial favourite, and which he had sung--on an
occasion memorable to Sally and her husband--in the little
dining-room at Richmond.

"_Die Schwalb'n flieg'n fort, doch sie zieh'n wieder her;
Der Mensch wenn er fortgeht, er kommt nimmermehr!_"

Waymark was silent for a little after that.

When it was nearly eleven o'clock, Casti looked once or twice
meaningly at Waymark, and the friends at length rose to take their
leave, in spite of much protest. O'Gree accompanied them as far as
the spot where they would meet the omnibus, then, with assurances
that to-night had been but the beginning of glorious times, sent
them on their way. Julian was silent during the journey home; he
looked very wearied. For lack of a timely conveyance the last mile
or so had to be walked. Julian's cough had been bad during the
evening, and now the cold night-air seemed to give him much trouble.
Presently, just as they turned a corner, a severe blast of wind met
them full in the face. Julian began coughing violently, and all at
once became so weak that he had to lean against a palisading.
Waymark, looking closer in alarm, saw that the handkerchief which
the poor fellow was holding to his mouth was covered with blood.

"We must have a cab," he exclaimed. "It is impossible for you to
walk in this state."

Julian resisted, with assurances that the worst was over for the
time. If Waymark would give the support of his arm, he would get on
quite well. There was no overcoming his resolution to proceed.

"There's no misunderstanding this, old fellow," he said, with a
laugh, when they had walked a few paces.

Waymark made no reply.

"You'll laugh at me," Julian went on, "but isn't there a certain
resemblance between my case and that of Keats? He too was a
drug-pounder; he liked it as little as I do; and he died young of
consumption. I suppose a dying man may speak the truth about
himself. I too might have been a poet, if life had dealt more kindly
with me. I think you would have liked the thing I was writing; I'd
finished some three hundred lines; but now you'll never see it.
Well, I don't know that it matters."

Waymark tried to speak in a tone of hopefulness, but it was hard to
give his words the semblance of sincerity.

"Do you remember," Casti continued, "when all my talk used to be
about Rome, and how I planned to see it one day--see it again. I
should say? Strange to think that I really was born in Rome. I used
to call myself a Roman, you know, and grow hot with pride when I
thought of it. Those were dreams. Oh, I was to do wonderful things!
Poetry was to make me rich, and then I would go and live in Italy,
and fill my lungs with the breath of the Forum, and write my great
Epic. How good that we can't foresee our lives!"

"I wish to heaven," Waymark exclaimed, when they were parting, "that
you would be a man and shake this monstrous yoke from off your neck!
It is that that is killing you. Give yourself a chance. Defy
everything and make yourself free."

Julian shook his head sadly.

"Too late! I haven't the courage. My mind weakens with my body."

He went to his lodgings, and, as he anticipated, found that Harriet
had not yet come home. She was almost always out very late, and he
had learnt too well what t expect on her return. In spite of her
illness, of which she made the most when it suited her purpose, she
was able t wander about at all hours with the acquaintances her
husband did not even know by name, and Julian had no longer the
strength even to implore her to have pity on him. He absence racked
him with nervous fears; her presence tortured him to agony. Weakness
in him had reached a criminal degree. Once or twice he had all but
made up his mind to flee secretly, and only let her know his
determination when he had gone; but his poverty interposed such
obstacles that he ended by accepting them as excuses for his
hesitation. The mere thought of fulfilling the duty which he owed to
himself, of speaking out with manly firmness, and telling her that
here at length all ended between them--that was a terror to his
soul. So he stayed on and allowed her to kill him by slow torment.
He was at least carrying out to the letter the promise he had made
to her father, and this thought supplied him with a flattering
unction which, such was his disposition, at times even brought him a
moment's solace.

There was no fire in the room; he sank upon a chair and waited.
Every sound in the street below sent the blood back upon his heart.
At length there came the fumbling of a latch-key--he could hear it
plainly--and then the heavy foot ascending the stairs. Her glazed
eyes and red cheeks told the familiar tale. She sat down opposite
him and was silent for a minute, half dozing; then she seemed
suddenly to become conscious of his presence, and the words began to
flow from her tongue, every one cutting him to the quick, poisoning
his soul with their venom of jealousy and vulgar spite. Contention
was the breath of her nostrils; the prime impulse of her heart was
suspicion. Little by little she came round to the wonted topic. Had
he been to see his friend the thief? Was she in prison again yet?
Whom had she been stealing from of late? Oh, she was innocence
itself, of course; too good for this evil-speaking world.

Tonight he could not bear it. He rose from his chair like a drunken
man, and staggered to the door. She sprang after him, but he was
just in time to escape her grasp and spring down the stairs; then,
out into the night. Once before, not quite a month ago, be had been
driven thus in terror from the sound of her voice, and had slept at
a coffeehouse. Now, as soon as he had got out of the street and saw
that he was not being pursued, he discovered that he had given away
his last copper for the omnibus fare. No matter; the air was
pleasant upon his throbbing temples. It was too late to think of
knocking at the house where Waymark lodged. Nothing remained but to
walk about the streets all night, resting on a stone when he became
too weary to go further, sheltering a little here or there when the
wind cut him too keenly. Rather this, oh, a thousand times rather,
than the hell behind him.





CHAPTER XXXVI

NO WAY BUT THIS




In the early days of October, Waymark's book appeared. It excited no
special attention. Here and there a reviewer was found who ventured
to hint that there was powerful writing in this new novel, but no
one dared to heartily recommend it to public attention. By some it
was classed with the "unsavoury productions of the so-called
naturalist school;" others passed it by with a few lines of
unfavourable comment. Clearly it was destined to bring the author
neither fame nor fortune.

Waymark was surprised at his own indifference. Having given a copy
to Casti, and one to Maud, he thought very little more of the
production. It had ceased to interest him; he felt that if he were
to write again it would be in a very different way and of different
people. Even when he prided himself most upon his self-knowledge he
had been most ignorant of the direction in which his character was
developing. Unconsciously, he had struggled to the extremity of
weariness, and now he cared only to let things take their course,
standing aside from every shadow of new onset. Above all, he kept
away as much as possible from the house at Tottenham, where Ida was
still living. To go there meant only a renewal of torment. This was
in fact the commonplace period of his life. He had no energy above
that of the ordinary young man who is making his living in a
commonplace way, and his higher faculties lay dormant.

In one respect, and that, after all, perhaps the most important, his
position would soon be changed. Mr. Woodstock's will, when affairs
were settled, would make him richer by one thousand pounds; he
might, if he chose, presently give up his employment, and either
trust to literature, or look out for something less precarious. A
year ago, this state of things would have filed him with exultation.
As it was, he only saw in it an accident compelling him to a certain
fateful duty. There was now no reason why his marriage should be
long delayed. For Maud's sake the step was clearly desirable. At
present she and her mother were living with Miss Bygrave in the
weird old house. Of Paul there had come no tidings. Their home was
of course broken up, and they had no income of their own to depend
upon. Maud herself, though of course aware of Waymark's prospects,
seemed to shrink from speaking of the future. She grew more and more
uncertain as to her real thoughts and desires.

And what of Ida? It was hard for her to realise her position; for a
time she was conscious only of an overwhelming sense of loneliness.
The interval of life with her grandfather was dreamlike as she
looked back upon it; yet harder to grasp was the situation in which
she now found herself, surrounded by luxuries which had come to her
as if from the clouds, her own mistress, free to form wishes merely
for the sake of satisfying them. She cared little to realise the
minor possibilities of wealth. The great purpose, the noble end to
which her active life had shaped itself, was sternly present before
her; she would not shirk its demands. But there was lacking the
inspiration of joy. Could she harden herself to every personal
desire, and forget, in devotion to others, the sickness of one great
hope deferred? Did her ideal require this of her?

Would he come, now that she was free to give herself where she
would, now that she was so alone? The distance between them had
increased ever since the beginning of her new life. She knew well
the sort of pride he was capable of; but was there not something
else, something she dreaded to observe too closely, in the manner of
his speech? Did he think so meanly of her as to deem such
precautions necessary against her misconstruction? Nay, _could_ he
have guarded himself in that way if he really loved her? Would it
not have been to degrade her too much in his own eyes?

He loved her once. Had she in any way grown less noble in his eyes,
by those very things which she regarded as help and strengthening?
Did he perchance think she had too readily accepted ease when it was
offered her, sacrificing the independence which he most regarded? If
so, all the more would he shrink from losing for her his own
independence.

She imagined herself wedded to him; at liberty to stand before him
and confess all the thoughts which now consumed her in the silence
of vain longing. "Why did I break free from the fetters of a
shameful life? Because I loved, and loved _you_. What gave me the
strength to pass from idle luxury, poisoning the energies of the
soul, to that life of lonely toil and misery? My love, and my love
for _you_. I kept apart from you then; I would not even let you know
what I was enduring; only because you had spoken a hasty,
thoughtless word to me, which showed me with terrible distinctness
the meaning of all I had escaped, and filled me with a determination
to prove to myself that I had not lost all my better nature, that
there was still enough of purity in my being to save me finally.
What was it that afflicted me with agony beyond all words when I was
made the victim of a cruel and base accusation? Not the fear of its
consequences; only the dread lest _you_ should believe me guilty,
and no longer deem me worthy of a thought. It is no arrogance to say
that I am become a pure woman; not my own merits, but love of you
has made me so. I love you as a woman loves only once; if you asked
me to give up my life to prove it, I am capable of doing no less a
thing than that. Flesh and spirit I lay before you--all yours; do
you still think the offering unworthy?"

And yet she knew that she could never thus speak to him; her
humility was too great. At moments she might feel this glow of
conscious virtue, but for the most part the weight of all the past
was so heavy upon her.

Fortunately, her time did not long remain unoccupied. As her
grandfather's heiress she found herself owner of the East-end
property, and, as soon as it was assured that she would incur no
danger, she went over the houses in the company of the builder whom
Abraham had chosen to carry out his proposed restorations. The
improvements were proceeded with at once, greatly to the
astonishment of the tenants, to whom such changes inevitably
suggested increase of rent. These fears Ida did her best to dispel.
Dressed in the simplest possible way, and with that kind, quiet
manner which was natural to her, she went about from room to room,
and did her best to become intimately acquainted with the woman-kind
of the Lane and the Court. It was not an easy end to compass. She
was received at first with extreme suspicion; her appearance aroused
that distrust which with the uneducated attaches to everything
novel. In many instances she found it difficult to get it believed'
that she was really the "landlord." But when this idea had been
gradually mastered, and when, moreover, it was discovered that she
brought no tracts, spoke not at all of religious matters, was not
impertinently curious, and showed indeed that she knew a good deal
of what she talked about, something like respect for her began to
spring up here and there, and she was spoken of as "the right sort."

Ida was excellently fitted for the work she had undertaken. She knew
so well, from her own early experience, the nature of the people
with whom she was brought in contact, and had that instinctive
sympathy with their lives without which it is so vain to attempt
practical social reform. She started with no theory, and as yet had
no very definite end in view; it simply appeared to her that, as
owner of these slums, honesty and regard for her own credit required
that she should make them decent human habitations, and give what
other help she could to people obviously so much in need of it. The
best was that she understood how and when such help could be
afforded. To native practicality and prudence she added a keen
recollection of the wants and difficulties she had struggled through
in childhood; there was no danger of her being foolishly lavish in
charity, when she could foresee with sympathy all the evil results
which would ensue. Her only temptation to imprudence was when, as so
often happened, she saw some little girl in a position which
reminded her strongly of her own dark days; all such she would have
liked to take home with her and somehow provide for, saving them
from the wretched alternatives which were all that life had to offer
them. So, little by little, she was brought to think in a broader
way of problems puzzling enough to wiser heads than hers. Social
miseries, which she had previously regarded as mere matters of fact,
having never enjoyed the opportunities of comparison which alone can
present them in any other light, began to move her to indignation.
Often it was with a keen sense of shame that she took the weekly
rent, a sum scraped together Heaven knew how, representing so much
deduction from the food of the family. She knew that it would be
impossible to remit the rent altogether, but at all events there was
the power of reducing it, and this she did in many cases.

The children she came to regard as her peculiar care. Her strong
common sense taught her that it was with these that most could be
done. The parents could not be reformed; at best they might be kept
from that darkest depth of poverty which corrupts soul and body
alike. But might not the girls be somehow put into the way of
earning a decent livelihood? Ida knew so well the effect upon them
of the occupations to which they mostly turned, occupations
degrading to womanhood, blighting every hope. Even to give them the
means of remaining at home would not greatly help them; there they
still breathed a vile atmosphere. To remove them altogether was the
only efficient way, and how could that be done?

The months of late summer and autumn saw several more
garden-parties. These, Ida knew, were very useful, but more enduring
things must be devised. Miss Hurst was the only person with whom she
could consult, and that lady's notions were not very practical. If
only she could have spoken freely with Waymark; but that she could
no longer on any subject, least of all on this. As winter set in, he
had almost forsaken her. He showed no interest in her life, beyond
asking occasionally what she was reading, and taking the opportunity
to talk of books. Throughout November she neither saw him nor heard
from him. Then one evening he came.

She was alone when the servant announced him; with her sat her old
companion, Grim. As Waymark entered, she looked at him with friendly
smile, and said quietly--

"I thought you would never come again"

"I have not kept away through thoughtlessness," he replied. "Believe
that; it is the truth. And to-night I have only come to say
good-bye. I am going to leave London."

You used to say nothing would induce you to leave London, and that
you couldn't live anywhere else."

"Yes; that was one of my old fancies. I am going right away into the
country, at all events for a year or two. I suppose I shall write
novels."

He moved uneasily under her gaze, and affected a cheerfulness which
could not deceive her.

"Has your book been a success?" Ida asked.

"No; it fell dead."

"Why didn't you give me a copy?"

"I thought too little of it. It's poor stuff. Better you shouldn't
read it"

"But I have read it."

"Got it from the library, did you?"

"No; I bought it."

"What a pity to waste so much money!"

"Why do you speak like that? You know how anything of yours would
interest me."

"Oh yes, in a certain way, of course."

"For its own sake, too. I can't criticise, but I know it held me as
nothing else ever did. It was horrible in many parts, but I was the
better for reading it."

He could not help showing pleasure, and grew more natural. Ida had
purposely refrained from speaking of the book when she read it, more
than a month ago, always hoping that he would be the first to say
something about it. But the news he had brought her to-night put an
end to reticence on her side. She must speak out her heart, cost her
what it might.

"Who should read it, if not I?" she said, as he remained silent.
"Who can possibly understand it half so well as I do?"

"Yes," he remarked, with wilful misunderstanding, "you have seen the
places and the people. And I hear you are going on with the work
your grandfather began?"

"I am trying to do something. If you had been able to give me a
little time now and then, I should have asked you to advise and help
me. It is hard to work there single-handed."

"You are too good for that; I should have liked to think of you as
far apart from those vile scenes."

"Too good for it?" Her voice trembled. "How can any one be too good
to help the miserable? If you had said that I was not worthy of such
a privilege--Can you, knowing me as no one else does or ever will,
think that I could live here in peace, whilst those poor creatures
stint and starve themselves every week to provide me with comforts?
Do I seem to you such a woman?"

He only smiled, his lips tortured to hold their peace.

"I had hoped you understood me better than that. Is that why you
have left me to myself? Do you doubt my sincerity? Why do you speak
so cruelly, saying I am too good, when your real thoughts must be so
different? You mean that I am incapable of really doing anything;
you have no faith in me. I seem to you too weak to pursue any high
end. You would not even speak to me of your book, because you felt I
should not appreciate it. And yet you do know me--"

"Yes; I know you well," Waymark said.

Ida looked steadily at him. "If you are speaking to me for the last
time, won't you be sincere, and tell me of my faults? Do you think I
could not bear it? You can say nothing to me--nothing from your
heart--that I won't accept in all humility. Are we no longer even
friends?"

"You mistake me altogether."

"And you are still my friend?" she uttered warmly. "But why do you
think me unfit for good work?"

"I had no such thought. You know how my ideals oppose each other. I
spoke on the impulse of the moment; I often find it so hard to
reconcile myself to anything in life that is not, still and calm and
beautiful. I am just now bent on forgetting all the things about
which you are so earnest."

"Earnest? Yes. But I cannot give my whole self to the work. I am so
lonely."

"You will not be so for long," he answered with more cheerfulness.
"You have every opportunity of making for yourself a good social
position. You will soon have friends, if only you seek them. Your
goodness will make you respected. Indeed I wonder at your remaining
so isolated. It need not be; I am sure it need not. Your wealth--I
have no thought of speaking cynically--your wealth must--"

"My wealth! What is it to me? What do I care for all the friends it
might bring? They are nothing to me in my misery. But you . . . I
would give all I possess for one kind word from you."

Flushing over forehead and cheeks, she compelled herself to meet his
look. It was her wealth that stood between her and him. Her position
was not like that of other women. Conventionalities were
meaningless, set against a life.

"I have tried hard to make myself ever so little worthy of you," she
murmured, when her voice would again obey her will. "Am I still--
still too far beneath you?"

He stood like one detected in a crime, and stammered the words.

"Ida, I am not free."

He had risen. Ida sprang up, and moved towards him.

"_This_ was your secret? Tell me, then. Look--_I_ am strong! Tell
me about it. I might have thought of this. I thought only of myself.
I might have known there was good reason for the distance you put
between us. Forgive me--oh, forgive the pain I have caused you!

"You asking for forgiveness? How you must despise me."

"Why should I despise you? You have never said a word to me that any
friend, any near friend, might not have said, never since I myself,
in my folly, forbade you to. You were not bound to tell me--"

"I had told your grandfather," Waymark said in a broken voice. "In a
letter I wrote the very day he was taken ill, I begged him to let
you know that I had bound myself."

As he spoke he knew that he was excusing himself with a truth which
implied a falsehood, and before it was too late his soul revolted
against the unworthiness.

"But it was my own fault that it was left so long. I would not let
him tell you when he wished to; I put off the day as long as I
could."

"Since you first knew me?" she asked, in a low voice.

"No! Since you came to live here. I was free before."

It was the part of his confession which cost him most to utter, and
the hearing of it chilled Ida's heart. Whilst she had been living
through her bitterest shame and misery, he had given his love to
another woman, forgetful of her. For the first time, weakness
overcame her.

"I thought you loved me," she sobbed, bowing her head.

"I did--and I do. I can't understand myself, and it would be worse
than vain to try to show you how it came about. I have brought a
curse upon my life, and worse than my own despair is your misery."

"Is she a good woman you are going to marry?" Ida asked simply and
kindly.

"Only less noble than yourself."

"And she loves you--no, she cannot love as I do--but she loves
you worthily and with all her soul?"

"Worthily and with all her soul--the greater my despair."

"Then I dare not think of her one unkind thought. We must remember
her, and be strong for her sake. You will leave London and forget me
soon,--yes, yes, you will _try_ to forget me. You owe it to her;
it is your duty."

"Duty!" he broke out passionately. "What have I to do with duty? Was
it not my duty to be true to you? Was it not my duty to confess my
hateful weakness, when I had taken the fatal step? Duty has no
meaning for me. I have set it aside at every turn. Even now there
would be no obligation on me to keep my word, but that I am too
great a coward to revoke it."

She stood near to him.

"Dear,--I will call you so, it is for the last time,--you think
these things in the worst moment of our suffering; afterwards you
will thank me for having been strong enough, or cold enough, to be
your conscience. There _is_ such a thing as duty; it speaks in your
heart and in mine, and tells us that we must part."

"You speak so lightly of parting. If you felt all that I--"

"My love is no shadow less than yours," she said, with earnestness
which was well nigh severity. "I have never wavered from you since I
knew you first"

"Ida!"

"I meant no reproach, but it will perhaps help you to think of that.
You _did_ love her, if it was only for a day, and that love will
return."

She moved from him, and he too rose.

"You shame me," he said, under his breath. "I am not worthy to touch
your hand."

"Yes," she returned, smiling amid her tears, "very worthy of all the
love I have given you, and of the love with which _she_ will make
you happy. I shall suffer, but the thought of your happiness will
help me to bear up and try to live a life you would not call
ignoble. You will do great things, and I shall hear of them, and be
glad. Yes; I know that is before you. You are one of those who
cannot rest till they have won a high place. I, too, have my work,
and--"

Her voice failed.

"Shall we never see each other again, Ida?"

"Perhaps. In a few years we might meet, and be friends. But I dare
not think of that now."

They clasped hands, for one dread moment resisted the lure of eyes
and lips, and so parted.





CHAPTER XXXVII

FORBIDDEN




December was half through, and it was the eve of Maud Enderby's
marriage-day. Everything was ready for the morrow. Waymark had been
away in the South, and the house to which he would take his wife now
awaited their coming.

It was a foggy night. Maud had been for an hour to Our Lady of the
Rosary, and found it difficult to make her way back. The street
lamps were mere luminous blurs upon the clinging darkness, and the
suspension of the wonted traffic made the air strangely still. It
was cold, that kind of cold which wraps the limbs like a cloth
soaked in icy water. When she knocked at the door of her aunt's
house, and it was opened to her, wreaths of mist swept in and hung
about the lighted hall. It seemed colder within than without.
Footsteps echoed here in the old way, and voices lost themselves in
a muffled resonance along the bare white walls. The house was more
tomb-like than ever on such a night as thin To Maud's eyes the
intruding fog shaped itself into ghostly visages, which looked upon
her with weird and woeful compassion. She shuddered, and hastened
upstairs to her mother's room.

After her husband's disappearance, Mrs. Enderby had passed her days
in a morbid apathy, contrasting strangely with the restless
excitement which had so long possessed her. But a change came over
her from the day when she was told of Maud's approaching marriage.
It was her delight to have Maud sit by her bed, or her couch, and
talk over the details of the wedding and the new life that would
follow upon it. Her interest in Waymark, which had fallen off during
the past half-year, all at once revived; she conversed with him as
she had been used to do when she first made his acquaintance, and
the publication of his book afforded her endless matter for gossip.
She began to speak of herself as an old woman, and of spending her
last years happily in the country. To all appearances she had
dismissed from her mind the calamity which had befallen her; her
husband might have been long dead for any thought she seemed to give
him. She was wholly taken up with childish joy in trivial matters.
The dress in which Maud should be married gave her thoughts constant
occupation, and she fretted at any opposition to her ideas. Still,
like a child, she allowed herself to be brought round to others'
views, and was ultimately led to consent that the costume should be
a very simple one, merely a new dress, in fact, which Maud would be
able to wear subsequently with little change. Even thus, every
detail of it was as important to her as if it had been the most
elaborate piece of bridal attire. In talking with Maud, too, she had
lost that kind of awe which had formerly restrained her; it was as
though she had been an affectionate mother ever since her daughter's
birth. She called her by pet names, often caressed her, and wished
for loving words and acts in return. Of Miss Bygrave's presence in
the house she appeared scarcely conscious, never referring to her,
and suffering a vague trouble if her sister entered the room where
she was, which Theresa did very seldom.

The new dress had come home finished this evening whilst Maud was
away. On the latter's return, her mother insisted on seeing her at
once in it, and Maud obeyed. A strange bride, rather as one who was
about to wed herself to Heaven beneath the veil, than preparing to
be led to the altar.

Having resumed her ordinary dregs, Maud went downstairs to the
parlour where her aunt was sitting. Miss Bygrave laid down a book as
she entered.

"We shall not see each other after tonight," Theresa said, breaking
the stillness with her grave but not unkind voice. "Is there
anything more you would like to say to me, Maud?"

"Only that I shall always think of you, and grieve that we are
parted."

"You are going into the world," said the other sadly, "my thoughts
cannot follow you there. But your purer spirit will often be with
me."

"And your spirit with me. If I had been permitted to share your
life, that would have been my greatest joy. I am consciously
choosing what my soul would set aside. For a time I thought I had
reconciled myself to the world; I found delight in it, and came to
look on the promptings of the spirit as morbid fancies. That has
passed. I know the highest, but between me and it there is a gulf
which it may be I shall never pass."

"It is only to few," said Theresa, looking at Maud with her smile of
assured peace, "that it is given to persevere and attain."

As they sat once more in silence, there suddenly came a light knock
at the house-door. At this moment Maud's thoughts had wandered back
to a Christmas of her childhood, when she had sat just as to-night
with her aunt, and had for the first time listened to those
teachings which had moulded her life. The intervening years were
swept away, and she was once more the thoughtful, wondering child,
conscious of the great difference between herself and her
companions; in spite of herself learning to regard the world in
which they moved as something in which she had no part. Of those
school companions a few came back to her mind, and, before all, the
poor girl named Ida Starr, whom she had loved and admired. What had
become of Ida, after she had been sent away from Miss Rutherford's
school? She remembered that last meeting with her in the street, on
the evening of Christmas Day, and could see her face.

The house door was opened, and Maud heard a voice outside which held
her to the spot where she stood. Then Theresa re-entered the room,
and after her came Paul Enderby.

He seemed to be wearing a disguise; at all events his clothing was
that of a working man, poor and worn, and his face was changed by
the growth of a beard. He shivered with cold, and, as Miss Bygrave
closed the door behind him, stood with eyes sunk to the ground, in
an attitude of misery and shame. Maud, recovering quickly from the
shock his entrance had caused her, approached him and took his hand.

"Father," she said gently. Her voice overcame him; he burst into
tears and stood hiding his face with the rough cap he held. Maud
turned to her aunt, who remained at a little distance, unmoving, her
eyes cast down. Before any other word was said, the door opened
quickly, and Mrs. Enderby ran in with a smothered cry. Throwing her
arms about her husband, she clung to him in a passion of grief and
tenderness. In a moment she had been changed from the listless,
childish woman of the last few months to a creature instinct with
violent emotion. Her mingled excess of joy and anguish could not
have displayed itself more vehemently had she been sorrowing night
and day for her husband's loss. Maud was terrified at the scene, and
shrunk to Theresa's side. Without heeding either, the distracted
woman led Paul from the room, and upstairs to her own chamber.
Drawing him to a chair, she fell on her knees beside him and wept
agonisingly.

"You will stay with me now?" she cried, when her voice could form
words. "You won't leave me again, Paul? We will hide you here.--
No, no; I am for getting. You will go away with us, away from London
to a safe place. Maud is going to be married to-morrow, and we will
live with her in her new home. You have suffered dreadfully; you
look so changed, so ill. You shall rest, and I will nurse you. Oh, I
will be a good wife to you, Paul. Speak to me, do speak to me: speak
kindly, dear! How long is it since I lost you?"

"I daren't stay, Emily," he replied, in a hoarse and broken voice.
"I should be discovered. I must get away from England, that is my
only chance. I have scarcely left the house where I was hiding all
this time. It wouldn't have been safe to try and escape, even if I
had had any money. I have hungered for days, and I am weaker than a
child."

He sobbed again in the extremity of his wretchedness.

"It was all for my sake!" she cried, clinging around his neck. "I am
your curse. I have brought you to ruin a second time. I am a bad,
wretched woman; if you drove me from you with blows it would be less
than I deserve! You can never forgive me; but let me be your slave,
let me suffer something dreadful for your sake! Why did I ever
recover from my madness, only to bring that upon you!"

He could speak little, but leaned back, holding her to him with one
arm.

"No, it is not your fault, Emily," he said. "Only my own weakness
and folly. Your love repays me for all I have undergone; that was
all I ever wanted."

When she had exhausted herself in passionate consolation, she left
him for a few moments to get him food, and he ate of it like a
famished man.

"If I can only get money enough to leave the country, I am saved,"
he said. "If I stay here, I shall be found, and they will imprison
me for years. I had rather kill myself!

"Mr. Waymark will give us the money," was the reply, "and we will go
away together."

"That would betray me; it would be folly to face such a risk. If I
can escape, then you shall come to me."

"Oh, you will leave me!" she cried. "I shall lose you, as I did
before, but this time for ever! You don't love me, Paul! And how can
I expect you should? But let me go as your servant. Let me dress
like a man, and follow you. Who will notice then?"

He shook his head.

"I love you, Emily, and shall love you as long as I breathe. To hear
you speak to me like this has almost the power to make me happy. If
I had known it, I shouldn't have stayed so long away from you; I
hadn't the courage to come, and I thought the sight of me would only
be misery to you. I have lived a terrible life, among the poorest
people, getting my bread as they did; oftener starving. Not one of
my acquaintances was to be trusted. I have not seen one face I knew
since I first heard of my danger and escaped. But I had rather live
on like that than fall into the hands of the police; I should never
know freedom again. The thought maddens me with fear."

"You are safe here, love, quite safe!" she urged soothingly. "Who
could know that you are here? Who could know that Maud and I were
living here?"

There was a tap at the door. Mrs. Enderby started to it, turned the
key, and then asked who was there.

"Emily," said Miss Bygrave's voice, "let me come in--or let Paul
come out here and speak to me."

There was something unusual in the speaker's tone; it was quick and
nervous. Paul himself went to the door, and, putting his wife's hand
aside, opened it.

"What is it?" he asked.

She beckoned him to leave the room, then whispered:

"Some one I don't know is at the front door. I opened it with the
chain on, and a man said he must see Mr. Enderby."

"Can't I go out by the back?" Paul asked, all but voiceless with
terror. "I daren't hide in the rooms; they will search them all. How
did they know that I was here? O God, I am lost!"

They could hear the knocking below repeated. Paul hurried down the
stairs, followed by his wife, whom Theresa in vain tried to hold
back He knew the way to the door which led into the garden, and
opening this, sprang into the darkness. Scarcely had he taken a
step, when strong arms seized him.

"Hold on!" said a voice. "You must come back with me into the
house."

At the same moment there was a shriek close at hand, and, as they
turned to the open door, Paul and his captor saw Emily prostrate on
the threshold, and Miss Bygrave stooping over her.

"Better open the front door, ma'am," said the police officer, "and
ask my friend there to come through. We've got all we want."

This was done, and when Emily had been carried into the house, Paul
was led thither also by his captor. As they stood in the hall, the
second officer drew from his pocket a warrant, and read it out with
official gravity.

"You'll go quietly with us, I suppose?" he then said.

Paul nodded, and all three departed by the front door.

It was midnight and before Mrs. Enderby showed any signs of
returning consciousness. Miss Bygrave and Maud sat by her bed
together, and at length one of them noticed that she had opened her
eyes and was looking about her, though without moving her head.

"Mother," Maud asked, bending over her, "are you better? Do you know
me?"

Emily nodded. There was no touch of natural colour in her face, and
its muscles seemed paralysed. And she lay thus for hours, conscious
apparently, but paying no attention to those in the room. Early in
the morning a medical man was summoned, but his assistance made no
change. The fog was still heavy, and only towards noon was it
possible to dispense with lamp-light; then there gleamed for an hour
or two a weird mockery of day, and again it was nightfall. With the
darkness came rain.

Waymark had come to the house about ten o'clock. But this was to be
no wedding-day. Maud begged him through her aunt not to see her, and
he returned as he came. Miss Bygrave had told him all that had
happened.

Mrs. Enderby seemed to sleep for some hours, but just after
nightfall the previous condition returned; she lay with her eyes
open, and just nodded when spoken to. From eight o'clock to midnight
Maud tried to rest in her own room, but sleep was far from her, and
when she returned to the sick-chamber to relieve her aunt, she was
almost as worn and ghastly in countenance as the one they tended.
She took her place by the fire, and sat listening to the sad rain,
which fell heavily upon the soaked garden-ground below. It had a
lulling effect. Weariness overcame her, and before she could suspect
the inclination, she had fallen asleep.

Suddenly she was awake again, wide awake, it seemed to her, without
any interval of half-consciousness, and staring horror-struck at the
scene before her. The shaded lamp stood on the chest of drawers at
one side of the room, and by its light she saw her mother in front
of the looking-glass, her raised hand holding something that
glistened. She could not move a limb; her tongue was powerless to
utter a sound. There was a wild laugh, a quick motion of the raised
hand--then it seemed to Maud as if the room were filled with a
crimson light, followed by the eternal darkness.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

A fortnight later Miss Bygrave was sitting in the early morning by
the bed where Maud lay ill. For some days it had been feared that
the girl's reason would fail, and though this worst possibility
seemed at length averted, her condition was still full of danger.
She had recognised her aunt the preceding evening, but a relapse had
followed. Now she unexpectedly turned to the watcher, and spoke
feebly, but with perfect self-control.

"Aunt, is madness hereditary?"

Miss Bygrave, who had thought her asleep, bent over her and tried to
turn her mind to other thoughts. But the sick girl would speak only
of this subject.

"I am quite myself," she said, "and I feel better. Yes, I remember
reading somewhere that it was hereditary."

She was quiet for a little.

"Aunt," she then said, "I shall never be married. It would be wrong
to him. I am afraid of myself."

She did not recur to the subject till she had risen, two or three
weeks after, and was strong enough to move about the room. Waymark
had called every day during her illness. As soon as he heard that
she was up, he desired to see her, but Maud begged him, through her
aunt, to wait yet a day or two. In the night which followed she
wrote to him, and the letter was this:

"If I had seen you when you called yesterday, I should have had to
face a task beyond my strength. Yet it would be wrong to keep from
you any longer what I have to say. I must write it, and hope your
knowledge of me will help you to understand what I can only
imperfectly express.

"I ask you to let me break my promise to you. I have not ceased to
love you; to me you are still all that is best and dearest in the
world. You would have made my life very happy. But happiness is now
what I dare not wish for. I am too weak to make that use of it
which, I do not doubt, is permitted us; it would enslave my soul.
With a nature such as mine, there is only one path of safety: I must
renounce all. You know me to be no hypocrite, and to you, in this
moment, I need not fear to speak my whole thought, The sacrifice has
cost me much To break my faith to you, and to put aside for ever all
the world's joys--the strength for this has only come after hours
of bitterest striving. Try to be glad that I have won; it is all
behind me, and I stand upon the threshold of peace.

"You know how from a child I have suffered. What to others was pure
and lawful joy became to me a temptation. But God was not unjust; if
He so framed me, He gave me at the same time the power to understand
and to choose. All those warnings which I have, in my blindness,
spoken of so lightly to you, I now recall with humbler and truer
mind. If the shadow of sin darkened my path, it was that I might
look well to my steps, and, alas, I have failed so, have gone so
grievously astray! God, in His righteous anger, has terribly visited
me. The most fearful form of death has risen before me; I have been
cast into abysses of horror, and only saved from frenzy by the mercy
which brought all this upon me for my good. A few months ago I had
also a warning. I did not disregard it, but I could not overcome the
love which bound me to you. But for that love, how much easier it
would have been to me to overcome the world and myself.

"You will forgive me, for you will understand me. Do not write in
reply; spare me, I entreat you, a renewal of that dark hour I have
passed through. With my aunt I am going to leave London. We shall
remain together, and she will strengthen me in the new life. May God
bless you here and hereafter.
MAUD ENDERBY."

After an interval of a day Waymark wrote as follows to Miss Bygrave:--

"Doubtless you know that Maud has written desiring
me to release her. I cannot but remember that she is scarcely yet
recovered from a severe illness, and her letter must not be final.
She entreats me not to write to her or see her. Accordingly I
address myself to you, and beg that you will not allow Maud to take
any irrevocable step till she is perfectly well, and has had time to
reflect. I shall still deem her promise to me binding. If after the
lapse of six months from now she still desires to be released, I
must know it, either from herself or from you. Write to me at the
old address."





CHAPTER XXXVIII

ORDERS OF RELEASE




Waymark and Casti spent their Christmas Eve together. They spoke
freely of each other's affairs, saving that there was no mention of
Ida. Waymark had of course said nothing of that parting between Ida
and himself. Of the hope which supported him he could not speak to
his friend.

A month had told upon Julian as months do when the end draws so
near. In spite of his suffering he still discharged his duties at
the hospital, but it was plain that he would not be able to do so
much longer. And what would happen then?

"Casti," Waymark exclaimed suddenly, when a hint of this thought had
brought both of them to a pause, "come away with me."

Julian looked up in bewilderment.

"Where to?"

"Anywhere. To some place where the sun shines."

"What an impossible idea! How am I to get my living? And how is she
to live?"

"Look here," Waymark said, smiling, "my will is a little stronger
than yours, and in the present case I mean to exercise it. I have
said, and there's an end of it. You say she'll be away from home
to-morrow. Good. We go together, pack up your books and things in
half an hour or so, bring them here,--and then off! _Sic volo, sic
jubeo, sit pro ratione voluntas!_"

And it was done, though not till Waymark had overcome the other's
opposition by the most determined effort. Julian understood
perfectly well the full significance of the scheme, for all
Waymark's kind endeavour to put a hopeful and commonplace aspect on
his proposal. He resisted as long as his strength would allow, then
put himself in his friend's hands.

It was some time before Julian could set his mind at rest with
regard to the desertion of his wife. Though no one capable of
judging the situation could have cast upon him a shadow of blame,
the first experience of peace mingled itself in his mind with
self-reproach. Waymark showed him how utterly baseless any such
feeling was. Harriet had proved herself unworthy of a moment's
consideration, and it was certain that, as long as she received her
weekly remittance--paid through an agent in London,--she would
trouble herself very little about the rest; or, at all events, any
feeling that might possess her would be wholly undeserving of
respect. Gradually Julian accustomed himself to this thought.

They were in the Isle of Wight; comfortably housed, with the sea
before their eyes, and the boon of sunshine which Casti had so
longed for.

Waymark gave himself wholly to the invalid. He had no impulse to
resume literary work; anything was welcome which enabled him to fill
up the day and reach the morrow. Whilst Julian lay on the couch,
which was drawn up to the fireside, Waymark read aloud anything that
could lead them to forget themselves. At other times, Julian either
read to himself or wrote verse, which, however, he did not show to
his friend. Before springtime came he found it difficult even to
maintain a sitting attitude for long. His cough still racked him
terribly. Waymark often lay awake in the night, listening to that
fearful sound in the next room. At such times he tried to fancy
himself in the dying man's position, and then the sweat of horror
came upon his brow. Deeply he sympathised with the misery he could
do so little to allay. Yet he was doing what he might to make the
end a quiet one, and the consciousness of this brought him many a
calm moment.

However it might be in those fearful vigils, Julian's days did not
seem unhappy. He was resigning himself to the inevitable, in the
strength of that quiet which sometimes ensues upon despair. Now and
then he could even be, to all appearances, light-hearted.

With the early May he had a revival of inspiration. Strangely losing
sight of his desperate condition, he spoke once more of beginning
the great poem planned long ago. It was living within his mind and
heart, he said. Waymark listened to him whilst he unfolded book
after book of glorious vision; listened, and wondered.

There was a splendid sunset one evening at this time, and the two
watched it together from the room in which they always sat. Seas of
molten gold, strands and promontories of jasper and amethyst,
illimitable mountain-ranges, cities of unimagined splendour, all
were there in that extent of evening sky. They watched it till the
vision wasted before the breath of night.

"What shall I read?" Waymark asked, when the lamp was lit.

"Read that passage in the Georgics which glorifies Italy," Julian
replied. "It will suit my mood to-night."

Waymark took down his Virgil.

"Sed neque Medorum silvae, ditissima terra,
Nec pulcher Ganges atque auro turbibus Hermus
Laudibus Italiae certent, non Bactra, neque Indi,
Totaque turiferis Panchaia pinguis arenis."

Julian's eyes glistened as the melody rolled on, and when it ceased,
both were quiet for a time.

"Waymark," Julian said presently, a gentle tremor in his voice, "why
do we never speak of her?"

"_Can_ we speak of her?" Waymark returned, knowing well who was
meant.

"A short time ago I could not; now I feel the need. It will give me
no pain, but great happiness.',

"That is all gone by," he continued, with a solemn smile. "To me she
is no longer anything but a remembrance, an ideal I once knew. The
noblest and sweetest woman I have known, or shall know, on earth."

They talked of her with subdued voices, reverently and tenderly.
Waymark described what he knew or divined of the life she was now
leading, her beneficent activity, her perfect adaptation to the new
place she filled.

"In a little while," Julian said, when they had fallen into thought
again, "you will have your second letter. And then?"

There was no answer. Julian waited a moment, then rose and, clasping
his friend's hand, bade him good night.

Waymark awoke once or twice before morning, but there was no
coughing in the next room. He felt glad, and wondered whether there
was indeed any improvement in the invalid's health. But at the usual
breakfast-time Julian did not appear. Waymark knocked at his door,
with no result. He turned the handle and entered.

On this same day, Ida was visiting her houses. Litany lane and Elm
Court now wore a changed appearance. At present it was possible to
breathe even in the inmost recesses of the Court. There the fronts
of the houses were fresh white-washed; in the Lane they were
new-painted. Even the pavement and the road-way exhibited an
improvement. If you penetrated into garrets and cellars you no
longer found squalor and dilapidation; poverty in plenty, but at all
events an attempt at cleanliness everywhere, as far, that is to say,
as a landlord's care could ensure it. The stair-cases had ceased to
be rotten pit-falls; the ceilings showed traces of recent care; the
walls no longer dripped with moisture or were foul with patches of
filth. Not much change, it is true, in the appearance of the
inhabitants; yet close inquiry would have elicited comforting
assurances of progressing reform, results of a supervision which was
never offensive, never thoughtlessly exaggerated. Especially in the
condition of the children improvement was discernible. Lodgers in
the Lane and the Court had come to understand that not even punctual
payment of weekly rent was sufficient to guarantee them stability of
tenure. Under this singular lady-landlord something more than that
was expected and required, and, whilst those who were capable of
adjusting themselves to the new _regime_ found, on the whole,
that things went vastly better with them, such as could by no means
overcome their love of filth, moral and material, troubled
themselves little when the notice to quit came, together with a
little sum of ready money to cover the expenses of removal.

Among those whom Ida called upon this afternoon was an old woman
who, in addition to her own voluminous troubles, was always in a
position to give a _compte-rendu_ of the general distress of the
neighbourhood. People had discovered that her eloquence could be
profitably made use of in their own service, and not infrequently,
when speaking with Ida, she was in reality holding a brief from this
or that neighbour, marked, not indeed in guineas, but in "twos" of
strong beverage, obtainable at her favourite house of call. To-day
she held such a brief, and was more than usually urgent in the
representation of a deserving case.

"Oh, Miss Woodstock, mem, there's a poor young 'oman a-lyin' at the
Clock 'Ouse, as it really makes one's 'art bleed to tell of her! For
all she's so young, she's a widder, an' pr'aps it's as well she
should be, seein' how shockin' her 'usband treated her afore he was
took where no doubt he's bein' done as he did by. It's fair cruel,
Miss Woodstock, mem, to see her sufferin's. She has fits, an' falls
down everywheres; it's a mercy as she 'asn't been run over in the
public street long ago. They're hepiplectic fits, I'm told, an' laws
o' me! the way she foams at the mouth! No doubt as they was brought
on by her 'usband's etrocious treatment. I understand as he was a
man as called hisself a gentleman. He was allus that jealous of the
pore innocent thing, mem--castin' in her teeth things as I
couldn't bring myself not even to 'int at in your presence, Miss
Woodstock, mem. Many's the time he's beat her black an' blue, when
she jist went out to get a bit o' somethink for his tea at night,
'cos he would 'ave it she'd been a-doin' what she 'adn't ought--"

"Where is she?" Ida asked, thinking she had now gathered enough of
the features of the case.

"I said at the Clock 'Ouse, mem. Mrs. Sprowl's took her in' mem, and
is be'avin' to her like a mother. She knew her, did Mrs. Sprowl, in
the pore thing's 'appy days, before ever she married. But of course
it ain't likely as Mrs. Sprowl can keep her as long as her pore life
lasts; not to speak of the expense; its a terrible responsibility,
owin' to the hepiplectic ailment, mem, as of course you understand."

"Can't she get into any hospital!"

"She only just came out, mem, not two weeks ago. They couldn't do no
more for the pore creature, and so she had to go. An' she 'asn't not
a friend in the world, 'ceptin' Mrs. Sprowl, as is no less than a
mother to her."

"Do you know her name?"

"Mrs. Casty, mem. It's a Irish name, I b'lieve, an' I can't say as
I'm partial to the Irish, but--"

"Very well," Ida broke in hastily. "I'll see if I can do anything."

Paying no attention to the blessings showered upon her by the
counsel in this case, blessings to which she was accustomed, and of
which she well understood the value, Ida went out into the Lane, and
walked away quickly. She did not pause at the Clock House, but
walked as far as a quiet street some little distance off, and then
paced the pavement for a while, in thought. Who this "Mrs. Casty"
was she could have little doubt. The calumnies against her husband
were just such as Harriet Casti would be likely to circulate.

For a moment it had seemed possible to go to the public-house and
make personal inquiries, but reflection showed her that this would
be a needless imprudence, even had she been able to overcome herself
sufficiently for such an interview. She went home instead, and at
once despatched Miss Hurst to the Clock House to discover whether it
was indeed Harriet Casti who lay there, and, if so, what her real
condition was. That lady returned with evidence establishing the
sick woman's identity. Harriet, she reported, was indeed m a sad
state, clearly incapable of supporting herself by any kind of work.
Her husband--Miss Hurst was told--had deserted her, leaving her
entirely without means, and now, but for Mrs. Sprowl's charity, she
would have been in the workhouse. This story sounded very strangely
to Ida. It might mean that Julian was dead. She wrote a few lines to
Waymark, at the old address, and had a speedy reply. Yes, Julian
Casti was dead, but the grave had not yet closed over him. Harriet
had been in receipt of money, and need have wanted for nothing; but
_now_ she must expect no more.

The result of it all was that, in the course of a week, Harriet was
informed by Miss Hurst that a place was open to her in a hospital
near London, where she could remain as long as her ailments rendered
it necessary; the expense would be provided for by a lady who had
been told of the case, and wished to give what aid she could. The
offer was rejected, and with insult. When next she visited Litany
Lane, Ida learnt that "pore Mrs. Casty," after a quarrel with her
friend Mrs. Sprowl, had fallen downstairs in a fit and broken her
neck.

Waymark lived on in the Isle of Wight, until a day when there came
to him a letter from Miss Bygrave. It told him that Maud's resolve
was immutable, and added that aunt and niece, having become members
of "the true Church," were about to join a sisterhood in a midland
town, where their lives would be devoted to work of charity.

Not many days after this, Ida, in London, received a letter,
addressed in a hand she knew well. There was a flush on her face as
she began to read; but presently came the pallor of a sudden joy
almost too great to be borne. The letter was a long one, containing
the story of several years of the writer's life, related with
unflinching sincerity, bad and good impartially set down, and all
leading up to words which danced in golden sunlight before her
tear-dimmed eyes.

For an hour she sat alone, scarce moving. Yet it seemed to her that
only a few minutes were allowed to pass before she took her pen and
wrote.


End of The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Unclassed
by George Gissing